I decided to finally type up this chapter and the next one.
Hope you like it.
I don't think he believed me. I tried, with all I could, to convince him, but he still didn't believe me. Plus I don't think those enhanced vampire senses are exactly working in my favour.
He knows that he'll always be in my heart, after all he was the first man I ever loved, but now there's someone else that has the number one place.
Looking back I should've seen it coming, but I didn't. Sorta makes it more special really, cos it's all new and I didn't know about it.
I know what people think of us. They all think he isn't good enough for me. That I should've learnt my lesson from what happened the last time. They don't see what I see though. I see a wonderful man that loves me more than anything and after everything that's happened I've come to realise that I love him like that too.
I'm kinda scared though. I have to give him this amulet, but I have no idea what it's going to do. It might kill him and that'd just be too much for me. We'd never have a chance to have anything. After all that's happened with us two I think we at least deserve a chance or are the damn powers gonna give me this little glimmer of hope that we could have something and then snatch it right away. After all the years of crap I've had to put up with from them don't I deserve to be happy? Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe it won't kill him. Maybe we will get a chance to be happy. Maybe I won't lose him- he means to much to me.
I don't know how to tell him about Angel. He might understand if I say we just talked. Who am I kidding? Those two have never gotten along. Damn immortals. I know he's gonna react. He's gonna sense Angel as soon as I walk through the door and go mental. Why doesn't he believe that I don't love Angel like that anymore? He's the only one for me.
It might be a good idea to tell him that I love him. It can't be that hard- he says it to me all the time. Maybe it's a sign for me to take thing slower this time. Last time, with Angel, didn't end particularly well and I don't want that to happen with him because I love him so much, maybe even more than I did Angel. I will tell him someday when the timings better. The only hope I have is that he believes me because if he didn't it'd destroy me. For now though we both just have to live through this and then I'll tell him. I just can't say those exact words yet so he'll have to settle for this:
"You're the champion of my heart now and forever. Take this and save me. Save us. Save the world. You're the only one strong enough to do it."
I love Spike. A slayer in love with another vampire. Spike, none the less. Who'd have thought?
So what did you all think?
Also sorry for any spelling and grammer mistakes.
