This chapter left me in an internal debate. I could definitely leave it at this. Or I could go a little bit farther. But I don't write fluff romance, so I can't reconcile these two without getting lemony. Hrm…it's a quandary. We'll just have to see what happens, eh? (A bo is a six-foot wooden staff. Tekagi and ashikagi are blades on the arms and legs for climbing and close combat. A chigiriki is a mace-like weapon, a two foot rod with a long spiked chain and a spiked ball on the end.)
Chapter 3
Last Chance
Sakura sidestepped the giggling genins with a tolerant smile. Brats, she growled mentally, wishing her hands were free to maybe smack one or two over the head. Shame on them for hanging out in the streets like hooligans instead of doing something useful like helping a heavily-burdened kunoichi with her groceries.
Not that she needed help, Sakura thought firmly. It just would have been nice, that's all. She gave up trying to crane her neck around the heavy bags of food she carried and attempted to just feel her way along the sidewalk with her feet. It worked for a few steps, right up until she got outside her house and something rolled inexplicably under her foot. She felt her leg shoot out from under her, and struggled to keep her balance without flinging her food all over the yard. Crap, she thought, feeling gravity take hold and suck her backwards. She braced for the impact of cement on her spine and tilted the bags in her arms so at least they wouldn't spill –
- and blinked in surprise. "Are you alright, Sakura?" Someone asked above her, and Sakura tilted her head back a little more to see dark eyes staring down at her in mild concern. Lee stood behind her, one hand braced between her shoulder blades, holding her at an almost parallel angle with the sidewalk.
Sakura pushed off from his hand with the muscles in her back, fighting not to overbalance forward. "I'm fine," she blushed slightly, feeling tremendously clumsy and self-conscious. "Hello, Lee."
He reached around her, taking some of the bags from her arms. "Let me help you."
"Thanks," she muttered, and tried hard to act like nothing had happened. Down the street, the Giggle Genins were laughing louder. Apparently they had caught her near-disastrous mishap. One of them was pointing downwards, and she followed his finger to see the little green rubber ball that had rolled neatly under her foot bounce away, back towards the boy who had thrown it.
"Little monsters!" Sakura yelled at them, scowling as they burst into fresh peals of laughter and ran off down the street, bouncing the green ball back and forth between them. Sakura steamed for a moment, debating whether or not it would be worth it to just fling her groceries on the step and hunt them down…
"Ah, youth," Lee laughed from her side, bringing her out of her dark ruminations. "So vibrant, and yet so foolish."
She snorted, and decided to let the runts live. For now. She stomped up to her door, balancing the remaining bags on her hip while she fiddled with the key and the booby trap smoke bombs. With that taken care of, she pushed the door open with her knee and lead Lee into her kitchen, dropping her bags on the counter with a sigh of relief.
Feeling considerably calmer, she smiled over at her friend. "Thank you for the help, and for catching me."
Lee put the remaining bags down as well and gave her the thumbs up, gleaming. "Of course. I will always appear when you need me, as I promised." The smile faltered, but he endeavored bravely to maintain it. "How have you been, Sakura?"
She turned her back to him, rummaging through the bags for the frozen foods and putting them in the freezer. "Oh, you know. Busy. You?"
"I have been working very hard this week, training to become stronger in new ways."
That's to be expected, she thought with exasperated fondness.
"Gai-sensei and I have been working with short range weapons," he elaborated, eyes becoming vaguely dreamy like they always did when he discussed a newest addition to his brutal training regime. "I'm not bad with the bo, but I'm having trouble gauging how much strength to put into a blow that doesn't destroy the weapon as well as my target." He shrugged, laughing self-consciously. "I need much more practice, but in time I will be very good with it."
She smiled at his honest self appraisal. "I thought Tenten was the weapons master."
"Oh, it was her idea," Lee admitted. "I sparred with her yesterday for old times' sake, and she observed that it might be easier to block a large amount of weaponry with the wood of a good bo, as opposed to the flesh of my arms." He tapped one of those arms with his finger, and Sakura noticed that the linen appeared to be wrapped thicker than normal.
"Did you cut yourself up yesterday?" she asked, setting the cereal down that she had been putting away and coming across the room instantly.
"Oh, it's nothing," he put up his hands dismissively, but she grabbed his wrists and pulled them towards her, sending a tendril of chakra into his flesh to feel for damage. She could feel the faint itchy sensation in her own arms that were muted reflections of his wounds. From the intensity of the itch, she judged that some of the cuts were deeper than he was letting on. She frowned, and reached to tug at the ends of the bandages.
His reaction was immediate, jerking his wrists from her hands.
She pulled her hands back, startled. "I - " He was looking determinedly down, refusing to meet her eyes. She swallowed, stepping away. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. The medic in me just takes over sometimes." She turned away again and moved to the table, flopping down in a chair with her back to him. Chalk another one up for the clumsy fool, she thought with no small bitterness and embarrassment.
"It's fine," he said softly, apologetically. She shrugged stiffly, locking her fingers in her lap and twisting them idly. That expression on his face…it reminded her abruptly of the last time she had sparred with him.
"Lee?"
"Yes?"
"Last week…in the field." She bit her lip, but pushed on. "I just wanted to ask if I…well, you seemed kind of…" she sighed. "Are you angry with me?"
"Angry?" he repeated, his turn to be startled. "Why do you think I am angry?"
"You just seemed to be upset with me," she answered, stubbornly refusing to turn around.
"No," he said after a moment. "I'm not angry. I wasn't angry then, either."
"Then why wouldn't you look at me?" She persisted.
He didn't answer, and the silence stretched and grew between them until Sakura could almost feel the physical weight of it on her shoulders. "Forget it," she said at last, just to fill the void. "It's not my business. Tell me more about weapons training. Is it only the bo?"
"For now," he seemed relieved to be back on a more familiar subject. "But later I plan to pick up a few bladed weapons like tekagi and ashikagi. Possibly even a chigiriki, which would give me some more medium range abilities as opposed to close-quarters fighting. What about you? Have you been training?"
She groaned, shaking her head. "Yes. Today was control training. It involves gathering chakra into precise points on my body, like my fists, elbows, or feet. And then I practice releasing the chakra into the target at the exact moment of contact. Basically, it's breaking rocks with various parts of my body. All day. It's a great for my ego, I admit, but its hell on my body." She sighed, digging her knuckles into the stiff muscles of her neck and debating whether it was worth the chakra to perform a minor healing jutsu on them.
Strong fingers pushed her hand lightly away. "Here," Lee said behind her. "If you will permit." His fingertips pressed into the sides of her neck, pushing smoothly, rhythmically against the tension. Despite herself, Sakura felt the soreness drain out, the muscles relax under his hands. She closed her eyes, sighing blissfully. Lee worked her neck muscles until they were soft and supple again, and then moved down to the slope of her shoulders and her upper back.
"You're incredible at this," Sakura murmured, just managing to keep the purr out of her voice.
He laughed. "Thank you. After years of sore muscles, I almost had to learn, in self defense."
That made sense, she decided, arching her neck a little as he pushed into a knot between her shoulders. She recalled his precise, graceful movements on the sparring field – such perfect muscle control required expertise on each muscle in the body. That, and endless practice.
"Don't you ever get tired?" she asked suddenly. "You work so hard all the time…don't you ever just feel… burned out?"
Lee's fingers hesitated for a moment, hovering over her hairline behind her ears, but he recovered quickly and resumed his soothing movements. "Yes," he replied, keeping his voice light and friendly. "Sometimes, when I work hard enough to knock myself out, and I wake up in a field hungry, sore, and alone – yes, I feel very burned-out. But then I always remember why I am there." She didn't turn to look at him, but she knew he was smiling. "And then I feel strong again, sometimes even stronger than before."
"So why do you keep going?" she asked, partially because she was curious and partially because his hands just felt so damn good on her aching back.
"Well, when I was first at the Academy, I just wanted to be a good ninja because it was my childhood dream. That kept me going until I was six."
"What happened when you were six?"
He was silent for a moment, and she thought she heard him stifle a sigh. "My teachers started to tell me that I was no good. They said that I could never be a shinobi." He relaxed his fingers and started to rub circles on her upper back with his palms, forcing the muscles to smooth out. "The more they said it, and the more the other kids said it, the more I was determined to prove them all wrong. That was my motivation until I was twelve."
He paused, and she asked, on cue, "What happened when you were twelve?"
"I was put into a genin team under Gai-sensei, with Tenten and Neji. I became determined to beat Neji, and make Gai-sensei proud of me. He's the only person in the world who ever believed in me." His voice hitched slightly, but his hands moved steadily, without falter. "I had to be worthy of that belief. To some degree, it's still what keeps me going. But it was all I had until I was thirteen."
Sakura smiled as he paused again. Her turn. "What happened when you were thirteen?" she asked obediently, playing the game.
His hands hesitated again, and this time came to rest on her shoulders. "I met a girl," he answered quietly. "And I promised to protect her – although the first time I tried, she ended up protecting me." The smile was back in his voice. Sakura felt her own breath falter, just a little. "I learned, on that day," Lee went on. "That if I was going to keep my promise, I'd have to do more than just become a good ninja. I'd have to be an excellent ninja, so that if she ever needed me, I could be there for her. And even if that day never comes, I must still always be prepared. I must." His fingers tightened on her shoulders before he made them relax again.
"Why?" She whispered.
His answer was simple, honest.
"Because I love her."
The silence stretched out for a long moment before Sakura could force her lungs to work. "Is she worth it?" She said at last, studying the table top before her as if it held all the answers inscribed on it. "All the effort? Even if she doesn't ever give you anything in return?" The words were rushing out of her mouth now; she couldn't seem to stop them. "Even if she can't give you anything?"
Again, the almost imperceptible tightening of his bandaged hands on her shoulders, but he didn't draw back. "I ask nothing of her," he said slowly. "Except that she finds happiness. But I know that the one who makes her happy isn't…" Lee stopped, as if his voice had suddenly failed him.
"Isn't you," she finished.
He exhaled, and his breath stirred the short ends of her pink hair, curling around her neck and past her cheek. Slowly, heavily, his hands slid away. "Yes," he said simply. "And that's why I also know that I must let her go."
"That's why you came today," she whispered, and felt an inexplicable sadness matched by a powerful sense of fear well up in her chest.
"Yes." His voice was so low that she could barely hear it over the pounding of her heart. "I just had to tell her, once last time."
Sakura listened, frozen, as he walked away from her, towards the door.
"Good night," Lee said quietly. "Sakura."
She waited until the door clicked shut behind him before bursting into tears.
