Chapter 5: Suspicions and Nightmares
"Okay, spill," Ginny said, plopping down beside Ron and Harry on the couch in the Gryffindor common room and unceremoniously dropping her bag on the floor. It was early December and just a couple of weeks left till the Christmas holidays.
"Spill what?" Harry asked, setting aside his homework.
"What's up with Hermione? She's been acting really weird lately."
The boys exchanged a glance then shrugged. "No idea."
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Oh right, like I'm supposed to believe that." Then she started ticking off things on her fingers. "She hasn't eaten in the Great Hall for months, she's being downright friendly with Malfoy—granted, he's changed recently, but still. She'll break down into tears randomly, and Parvati and Lavender say she's been excused from all her practicals in class for medical reasons. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was…" she trailed off.
Harry and Ron exchanged another look. "You'd say she was what, Ginny?" Ron asked.
She shook her head. "Nothing. Never mind. So do you know what the deal is?"
Harry shrugged and gave her the story Hermione had told them. "She hasn't eaten in the Great Hall because she developed a food allergy over the summer and it's easier if she can just make her own food in their common room. She has to be nice to Malfoy because they live in the Head dorms and have to share a common room. It makes things a lot easier that way. I don't know about the crying, but she does have a medical condition. She won't tell us exactly what it is, but it's somehow related to the food allergies."
Ginny shot him an incredulous look but didn't comment. Instead she just shook her head and mumbled something about needing to do her homework. When she left, the boys looked at each other again.
"I don't think she believes us," Ron commented.
"I don't either, but it isn't our secret to tell. She'll just have to wait till Hermione's ready for her to know."
Hermione caught Draco's eye after potions and motioned to the letter in her hands. He hung back a bit from the other Slytherins and waited till they were alone in the classroom before walking over to her. Noting the nervousness on her face, he asked, "What is it?"
"My parents wrote back and told me it was okay for you to come with me at Christmas. Are you sure you still want to do this?"
He nodded. "I told you I would and I will. Did you want to apparate there or take the train?" Draco had just gotten his apparation license a few weeks ago and they had been assured by Madam Pomfrey that Hermione would be completely fine apparating until her sixth month.
Hermione considered this for a second then said, "Apparate, I think. It'd be a lot quicker. Do you think you could apparate both of us?"
He nodded. "Double apparation is on the test and you have to perform it flawlessly to pass. Is there an apparation point near your house?"
"I believe so. I'll have to double-check with Professor Dumbledore, but I'm pretty sure there is."
"Okay, so we'll just apparate there and your parents can pick us up."
She nodded in agreement then kissed his cheek. "Thank you again for doing this, Draco."
"No problem."
And with that, they both walked out the door to get to their next class, neither of them noticing their professor leaning against his office door with a small smile on his face.
Snape had a soft spot in his heart for the blond Slytherin, viewing him very much as the son he'd never had, and the conversation he had just overheard convinced him more than anything that the two teens would be fine. Smiling again and shaking his head he went back into his office and shut the door. He had another class coming in ten minutes and he needed to prepare for it.
Close to midnight that night Hermione padded barefoot down the hall to the bathroom. Being pregnant was definitely affecting her bladder. When she was done she made her way back down the hall but stopped in front of Draco's door. She could hear someone thrashing around inside and the sound of muffled sobs. Hesitating for a moment, she finally turned the knob and walked in.
He was tossing and turning in his sleep and she could see tears on his face. "Mother! No, I'm sorry! Mother!"
Hermione tentatively reached out her hand and shook his shoulder, hoping she wouldn't startle him. "Draco, wake up. You're having a nightmare."
He gasped and his eyes flew open. They darted around the room in confusion for a second before he remembered where he was. Closing his eyes again he worked to get his breathing back to normal.
"Draco, are you okay?" Hermione asked softly, her hand still on his shoulder.
He looked away and appeared to be struggling with the answer. He wasn't used to discussing his emotions with people. Finally he just shook his head. "I don't know. I think I will be, but right now I don't know."
She nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He sat up and leaned against the headboard, his forearms resting on his knees. He stared blankly at his hands for a moment then started talking. "I dreamed that my mother came back and was telling me that it was my fault she was dead. She said I should have done something to stop it and I didn't so it was my fault. Then she gave me this icy glare and told me she hated me. I tried to reach her but I couldn't and she just walked away…"
Another tear slipped out and Hermione was beside him in an instant pulling him into a hug. He hugged her back as if his life depended on it and worked to suppress the shuddering sobs that threatened to surface. She stroked his hair with one hand, very much the way his mother used to, soothing him far more than he'd thought possible.
"Draco, listen to me. Your mother's death is not your fault. It's your father's. He's an evil man and now he's been arrested for it. The trial's in a few months and then he'll be punished for everything he's done. But it is not your fault. Do you understand?"
"But my mother was the only person I was ever close to. If I had just been there…"
Hermione shook her head. "No. If you had been there you very well could have been hurt or died too. Losing your mother is a terrible thing, but you can't feel guilty about it forever. Just remember her for who she was and let yourself move on with life."
After what seemed like an eternity he nodded. "Thank you, Hermione."
She stroked his hair again and he calmed down some more. "You're welcome."
