I knew I was dreaming.
I was a ghost in this memory. All I did was watch the past; this is where it practically ended—well with Narusegawa and me. I could see myself cursing viciously at her face while she did the same. Every-single time I would let the young woman knock me out to space but I could see something different in this scene. I remembered, regretted, and cried—but nothing came good out of it. If I give up on this cursed past and move on than maybe I would receive something heavenly in return.
My eyes soften, were we really that upset?
I closed my eyes; and remembered the emotions I felt…
"YOU WORTHLESS IDIOT!"
"DAMMIT, WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU THIS TIME?"
"YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF, THAT'S WHAT, YOU FOUR-EYED FREAK!"
"YOU'RE ONE TO TALK WITH THOSE COKE-BOTTLED GLASSES OF YOURS!"
"THAT'S BECAUSE I STUDY UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE! YOU'RE SO DAMN DESPERATE TO AT LEAST HAVE A NICE CHAT WITH GIRL THAT YOU'D LOOK BACK AT A STUPID PROMISE MADE 15 YEARS AGO! GET A LIFE YOU PATHETIC WORM!"
My body was stricken cold of sweat, yet I could still feel the burning passion to just slap her. My eyes infuriated, my hands curled into a tight fist, my face shaded through five layers of dark crimson. I could only scream, shout at her, and wish to toss her fragile body to the ground and slam that freaking glass of wine at her eyes. I was a living monster; wanting to rip her neck with the poisonous fangs and sink the venom in her neck. Not only I was angry like the beast within me, I was hurt. Hurt by her words, hurt by her attacks that reminded me of my drunken mother. Since her crazy antics of me molesting Shinobu, or either of the girls of the Hinata, was not only insulting enough; I wanted to get payback.
My arm swung as fast as it could and her face was met with my hand.
FWACKKKKK
I could see the sudden shock stricken in her eyes; it was as though terror ripped through those dark chocolate orbs I always love to stare at. Now, they became softer—no not in concern or the type where someone touches your heart—it's the type when the tears gather, and it blends into the skin.
She started to cry; but I could still see her scariest face ever. She looked at me even harder, she breathed harder, and I could hear her cry harder.
'Don't cry,' the little voice in my head rang, 'don't cry.'
"That's payback bitch!" I hissed still looking at her as if she killed everyone I loved dearly. "That's payback—for everything you've done to me! You never gave me time to explain, you never gave me the kindness and respect that I deserve to treat you so kindly, and now that I confess to how I felt about you an hour ago, you give me this shit?"
She looked at me as if I was a monster. I didn't want her to look at me that way. No. I loved her far too much, too much.
"Bastard!" she cringed, trying to hold back her tears, "how dare you hit me…"
I looked away, regretting what I did. I didn't want this to happen in the first place. It was both of our faults. We both did a betrayal to each other. Why?
Because were only ordinary people.
"Nothing I will say right now will change anything, Narusegawa."
I could feel the shock on her face. I could feel the tears streaming down. I could hear her breathe.
"I'm sorry Naru."
Then… I heard her run. Those foot-steps scurrying out the door. I wanted to scream. I wanted to jump off the balcony. I hurt the one I claimed I loved so much. Now look at me.
"Betrayals," I muttered solemnly, "they change us all."
I remembered the incident clearly. Even though it happened practically a week ago; it felt like an old man recovering from a sickening disease that have been doing so for years—that's how it felt. A wound never recovering from its scar.
I am having this nightmare again.
"Fifteen-years ago," a strange voice coming from a distance, "a boy and a girl made a promise to each other. A promise to enter into the most difficult college in Japan. Legend has it, that if two people who loves each other and enters into Tokyo University lives happily-ever after."
My brain ordered me to turn around and see whom it is but my body was too stubborn. I could only listen to her voice. It sounded like the person I never talked to for a long time.
"Moe?" I whispered with the voice I believed I never gave away. "What are you doing in this nightmare of mines? You don't belong in this—hell-hole."
I began to hear the young doll chuckled. She sounded so cute it is no wonder my grandfather had brought her home from the World-State fair. I could feel her smile, I could hear her breathe, was she really a doll? Or am I much hallucinated in this weird-repeated nightmare of mines?
"Kei-kun," she began to sing with her childish voice, "I want to show you something."
"Moe…," I wanted to but I just had to refuse. Unfortunately, she could read me like a book.
"It's not too late to find her. It's not too late to forgive her. It's not too late to forgive yourself, Kei-Kun!"
"Moe…," I began to repeat, "What do you mean? Didn't you see what I just did to Narusegawa?"
"Your not robots that can do everything perfect, but you can start over, Kei-Kun. If you start over and stop looking back at your past, then you will be sure to gain a bright future."
Her hair dangled from her shoulders when she reached for my hand, "I'll show you, Kei-kun! I'll show you."
I looked at the alive-doll with reluctance. It's true that I didn't want to stay in my room and mop pathetically but I just wanted to be alone for a while. It seems too quick for me to recover.
But if I just keep on sitting here, how will I recover?
I finally nodded. "Show me Moe—show me what future I have for this idiot within me."
She giggled ridiculously. I laughed at her childish face.
It reminded me of 15 years ago.
Motoko took a deep breathe of confidence. She was right outside of Urashima's door. It took a few nervous seconds to realize that she was facing the terror of love. It was a hard decision, even for a warrior such as her, to choose between friendship and love. When she took a look a look at her blade's reflection, she saw something that she thought she would never saw in the eyes of a swordswoman.
Fear.
'I love you Naru.' Keitaro's voice rang throughout Motoko's head.
"No! Not now!" She screamed viciously at her thoughts. "Not now!"
Without even thinking of the consequences, she slid the door open with her eyes closed. She didn't want to face him with the type of emotionless look she shot at him everyday. She wanted a much concern expression that will prove to Keitaro that she really does care for our dear manager. Her silky black hair began to dangle above her shoulders when she began bow respectfully to the man in front of her.
"Urashima! Please let this worthless warrior speak in your presence!"
Hearing the silence of shame, her patience grew thin. Motoko wanted to hear his voice, his real voice of the caring manager he once was. She wanted to see his pathetic smile that just blew her away. She wanted him to look into her eyes and see that this was the Motoko Aoyama that at least had a weak-side.
She opened her eyes, slightly unsurprised that Keitaro was still sleeping. Motoko walked with the grace of which resembled her dear sister and sat formally next to him.
"I'm going to wait until you wake up Urashima, and get to the bottom of this." Motoko eyes soften to see Keitaro sleep soundly.
She smiled, seeing that his dreams were at peace.
'Kiss him,' a little voice chanted in her head.
'What? That's absurd!'
'You know you want to.'
'Who are you?'
'I am your conscious, now kiss him.'
'No!'
'He won't know.'
'Have you no modesty?'
'You may be a disciplined warrior but you're still a woman.'
'But… Narusegawa!'
'Look at him, he's sound asleep.'
Motoko looked reluctantly at Keitaro. Seeing that he was in peaceful dreams made her blush at the sight of the handsome man she thought would never come into reality. She wanted to—she knew it—but she had to stay faithful.
'And who are being faithful to?'
'Narusegawa!'
'Kiss him,' the voice chanted hauntingly in her head.
"Urashima," Motoko said barely above a whisper, "forgive me."
Motoko lost the distance between Keitaro's lips and stayed a couple of seconds on his lips.
'He is so warm.'
It was as though she was flying. Motoko always wanted the impossible with Keitaro but since it proved in the past and probably now that he loves Naru much more than any of the Hinata Residents; she just couldn't confess so soon. It was her friendship she shared with Naru that was holding her back and it was also the response she would get if she confessed too soon. She thought about the timid yet surprisingly brave Shinobu in her head. Shouldn't she be here instead of her?
'Shinobu-Chan, you should be here instead of me.'
'How un-selfish,' her inner-self taunted.
She wanted to pull away but for some strange reason she could not. The more she wanted to stop this, more she wanted more of the Urashima she waited for so long.
Her tongue slid in his mouth and she deepens the kiss. 'Shinobu; I feel as though I am betraying you instead.'
'Stop… I can't do this,' she pleaded to her conscious.
'He won't know…'
"Another chance," Moe sang to Keitaro.
The brief moment ended when Motoko felt Keitaro's breath came out to a short gasp.
Green eyes met with brown.
And the Aoyama slowly pulled away from the shock on Keitaro's face.
'Another chance,' echoed Moe's voice from a distance.
End of Chapter Four.
Tenshi's thoughts and opinons... maybe hints for next chapter?
I think I aced my exams! Wahhooo! Beat that Hawaii! Now 13 more exams days to go... -sweatdrop- O.O;;
Ahem... So how was the cliff-hanger guys? I know I know; some of you may be upset with no narrative paragraphs, I also think that this chapter has a lack of potential... but I just have deadlines, I'm sorry if I upset my reviewers, especially Sensei and Dean.
For the next Chapter... will Keitaro listen to Moe (she's not self-insert... check the damn Anime series!)
Or will Keitaro get up on his two feet and search for Narusegawa...
Or will Narusegawa find him?
And why can't the residents remember the incidents of the betrayal?
Will Shinobu-Chan fight for Keitaro's love? Or let Motoko take Keitaro?
AND... WHEN DOES THE TURTLE LADY COME IN? AKA: Mutsumi Otohime
Next Chapter: WELL... I haven't figue out the chapter title but hey, you can count on my cliff hangers! ;D
Tenshi K.
