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Chapter Two - Niff encounters an angry mob and some rocky horror
For the lack of knowing how the hell to start this chapter... NIFF SUDDENLY LANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF A SMALL EASTERN EUROPEAN VILLAGE DURING THE 19TH CENTURY!
Niff: ::slowly begins to pick herself up off the ground:: Uhhhghh....
Villagers scream and run away, only to come back a few moments later with pitchforks, torches, and un-tuned harmonicas.
The villagers begin yelling and poking Niff with their pitchforks.
Villager 1: Witch!
Villager 2: Vampire!
Villager 3: Whore!
Everyone stops and stares at the third villager.
Villager 3: Well look at what she's wearing!
All villagers: Oh...
They begin agreeing with eachother and then immediately become an angry mob once more.
Niff: ::grunts:: Get away from me! Who are you people and what do you want?! STOP POKING ME!!
The villagers stop their prodding as one steps forward.
Villager: No one who falls from the sky and lives must be of good heart!
Niff: ::begins to stand up:: I'm of good heart; I volunteer and-
Villager: (cutting her off) No matter! You are a creature of evil and now you must have your punishment!
The villagers nod and mutter in agreement, as the villager stops her from moving by putting up his pitchfork at her. Niff looks very worried as the harmonica players begin to put their instruments up to their lips. Thinking quickly...
Niff: Can I atleast have a question answered?
Villager: I suppose; What is your question?
Niff: Why do you people have torches lit during the middle of the day?
Random villager: A vampire can't hurt you if you're carrying a torch!
Niff: (sarcastically) Yeah, depending on how fast you can run with one....
All villagers: GASP
Niff: ........DID I MENTION I LIKE THE VILLAGE PEOPLE?!
Everyone stops, and begins chatting to eachother. The villager who talked before, who also seems to be the leader, stepped forward once again.
Villager: Do you speak the truth?
Niff: ::eyes shift:: Ofcourse I do!.... I mean who doesn't like the Village People?...heh..::eyes shift::
Villager: Well why didn't you say so?! Anyone who listens to music that is disco has a right to live.
He turns around to his fellow villagers.
Villager: Sorry guys; there won't be a burning today.
All villagers: Aww....
They all slowly begin to walk away and resume on their daily business.
Niff feels incredibly relieved and takes a deep breath.
Niff: (to herself) That was waaaay too close....
She shuddered when she thought of actually liking the Village People....
Villager: ::smiling and giggling as he talked:: So...who's you're favorite? I personally like the construction worker...
Niff: Heh, uh, yeah...me too.... Say, could you happen to tell me where I am?
Villager: Oh! Yes, I'm sorry, you're in Transylvania! ::thunderbolt::
Niff: ::looks at the sky curiously:: Does it always do that when you say-?
Suddenly a female villager points towards the sky behind Niff and the lead villager.
Female villager: LADYBUGS!! RUN!!
Niff and the lead villager spin around and see a giant swarm of ladybugs heading towards village.
Villager: Oh my God! Run for your life!
The villager ran at a break-neck speed towards the nearest wooden building.
Niff figured it would be a good idea to do that as well, with all of the screaming and the running and the terror and such. But ofcourse, since this is the type of story that is it, Niff runs towards the scary-ass castle on the far away hill.
Somehow she manages to outrun the ladybugs and impending doom. But now, she has a new obstacle in front of her. She stared up at the huge house that she was now in the shadow of.
Niff: (to herself) Well, if I put two and two together, (creepy castle...in Transylvania... ::thunderbolt:: ::Niff looks up at the sky cockeyed:: ). Anyway, this must be the castle of Count Dracula!!
At the thought of a tall, pale, undead man, with long black hair, Niff was quite giddy to knock on the door. Unfortunately, she did not find what she was expecting....at all.
Niff: ::knocks on door:: Helloooo?
The door is opened by a hunchback. From inside Niff can hear a large crowd of people singing and dancing in unison ("...I'm just a sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania!...").
Niff: ::eyes go wide:: ......I think I'm at the wrong house....
Hunchback: Are you suuuure?
Niff: Yes. Very, very sure.....I'll just be going now; sorry to bother!......
She walked quickly away from the house into the dark of the night, still with wide eyes.
::Thunderbolt::
Niff: ::stops:: I was wondering when that was going to happen....
(yelling at the sky) Little late, weren't you?!
Narrator: Shut up! Now go to the right castle so we can continue on with our story!
Niff glares at the sky and then continues on her path across the hill, but then stops abruptly.
Niff: Wait... Did anyone else realize that as soon as I got to the castle it became night time?
Narrator: Oh please! Everyone knows that when you reach a scary-ass castle it's always dark and scary! Plus you're looking for a vampire, remember?!
Niff: That's still no excuse! It's like how there was a constant full moon every night during Pirates of the Caribbean; it just doesn't work!
Narrator: Fine!
AND SUDDENLY THE LAND MAGICALLY FELL INTO DARKNESS!
Niff: Thank you. Now where did you say the correct castle was?
Narrator: Dear God! I can't take much more of this! Just here!.....
AND SUDDENLY DRACULA'S CASTLE APPEARED AS IF BY A MAGIC......OR A REALLY PISSED OFF NARRATOR!
Niff: (with a giant grin) Thank yooou!
And at that, Niff made her way across the large yard of the castle, in the darkness.
Niff: (Hell yeah, I am. By the way, does anyone care that it's hella cold out here and I'm STILL NOT WEARING A SHIRT?!)
Narrator: (No.)
