He's My Son

Summary: Danny's son is diagnosed with leukemia and Danny has to face the prospect of living without him.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom. Butch Hartman does. I do not own 'He's My Son'. Mark Shultz does.

Author's Note: Could you guys really read the lyrics?

Dedication: I dedicate to everyone who has lost some one to cancer.

Danny leaned weakly against the door jam as he had every night since the news. He watched the little ten-year-olds chest rise up and down and his throat closed. Matt had been his life since he had found out he and Sam were going to have a baby. Now it was hard to imagine that anything would take him away from him. After fighting his whole life, he was finally helpless against something. This time he wasn't the victim though. And it was killing him.

He walked over to the side of his son's bed and stared down at the dark haired. He watched his eyelids flicker but they didn't open. He had his mother's eyes. The ones that were always so bright and full of a defiance he had got from Sam and a tendency to be foolishly optimistic that Danny had passed onto him. The little eyes that had held way too much of a haunted look these days.

No one should have to face this. Especially not a ten-year-old. Definitely not his ten-year-old. He was lost and confused and scared to show it. They all were. Tucker called everyday and asked how he was, but he wouldn't come visit. It hurt Tuck to see the little baldhead and small frame weakened from the chemotherapy. But for Danny there was no escape. And if it was horrific for him, he couldn't imagine what it was like for Matt.

I'm down on my knees again tonight
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right
See there is a boy that needs your help
I've done all that I can do myself

Danny couldn't think of anything else to do. They had done chemotherapy, experimental medicine, changed Matt's diet. He wasn't going into remission. Danny went between constantly on the verge of tears to being furious at the world. How could other people steal, murder, beat people, and they walked the earth free and health while his son was dying?

Sam had been praying. Danny personally was furious with God. If he existed, how could he sit by and let this happen? He must be pretty sick and twisted. He puts loving families together just to rip them apart. If that was the kind of God that he had to turn to maybe he would rather face this alone. He didn't need that kind of help.

His mother is tired
I'm sure you can understand
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand
And she tries not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes

Sam wasn't eating or sleeping anymore. Matt had been hospitalized after he collapsed on Friday. Danny would just stand quietly watching his wife cling to their son's hand as if he was her only lifeline to sanity. And the more Danny tried to help, the more despondent she became. Danny's world was crumbling around him and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Matt would just stare back at her with those eyes that were pure reflections of hers and whispered, "What would happen if I gave up?" Sam choked and stumbled and trembled over the words to make him cling to hope and Danny couldn't help but feel the tears well up in his glazed over eyes. He glanced out the window and saw a little streak of light. But instead of the wishes and hopes it had always stood for, this one seemed to mock his little family's lack of that.

Can you hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can you see him?
Can you make him feel all right?
If you can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone He's my son

Danny stared at the ceiling, laying in bed next to Sam but at the same time feeling so lost and alone. He stared at the ceiling, focusing on keeping a blank mind. Cause if he thought about anything he thought he would lose his mind. His life was being torn to shreds and he was just left sitting in the remnants of what he had once loved.

A muffled thud filtered through the closed door and Danny slipped out of bed without waking Sam and snuck into Matt's room. The bed was empty and the figure lay on the floor in a fetal position. There was the little boy clinging to the medicine bottle, eyes so blurred with tears that there was no way he could have seen. Danny fell to the floor and scooped the boy into his arms and rocked him back and forth as the sick child buried his face in his father's chest and cried himself out.

Danny finally stood, putting his son's head on his shoulder as he pulled back the tangled sheets. The soft broken voice whispered in his ear. "It hurts, dad. Make it go away," he pleaded. Danny couldn't hold back the tears as he held the little boy as tight as he could.

Sometimes late at night
I watch him sleep
I dream of the boy he'd like to be
I try to be strong and see him through
But God who he needs right now is You

He turned eleven today. He lived to see another birthday and he got everything a kid could wish for his parents, grandparents, Jazz, and Tuck spoiling him. He was gracious and smiled at everyone from below the bridge of his red baseball cap. But there was an underlying sense of wrongness. Everyone at the table knew unless there was a miracle, Matt would never see another birthday.

Sam and Jazz came out of the kitchen laughing, though every adult in the room could tell it was forced. Sam placed the white cake with extra frosting in front of the ten-year-old and Danny lit one candle and used it to light the rest. He poked the candle back into the marbleized cake. "Make a wish, Matt," Danny said as cheerfully as he could, choking on the words. He knelt next to his son.

The little head dipped down so that no one could see the tears. But Danny saw them, and he knew in an instant that he would never forget that haunted, tortured look. "Don't let me die," the ten-year-old breathed into the wind the words that would haunt Danny for the rest of his life.

Let him grow old
Live life without this fear
What would I be
Living without him here
He's so tired and he's scared
Let him know that You're there

They had announced at the doctor visit that Matt wouldn't be hospitalized again no matter what. There was nothing else they could do. They had given them painkillers and told them to give him as many as he needed. There was no chance at recovery now. This was the point of no return.

Danny poked his head into Matt's room to see him standing next to the window with his forehead pressed against the cold glass, his breath making a small circle of frost. "It's time for bed." Danny said softly stepping inside. The boy nodded, his black hair falling in his face. He was struck by how much his son looked like him. He suddenly hated himself for saying that becoming a half ghost was the worst thing that could happen. This was a billion times worse.

"I'm dying, dad." His voice cracked, as if this was the first time that it had crossed his mind that maybe there was no future for him. The little boy lunged at Danny and held his father tight, sobbing so hard he couldn't breathe. Matt finally managed to calm down enough to get out. "Dad, I love you." Danny just held him tighter.

Can you hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can you see him?
Can you make him feel all right?
If you can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone He's my son

That was the last night father and son would ever spend together. Matt had died during the night, according to doctors around three in the morning. Danny looked around the room again, really looking for the first time in a long time. The one he and Sam had had a paint fight in while turning it into a nursery, where they had finally settled on a name, where he had rocked him to sleep, read him stories, and dried his tears.

Danny bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to fight against the onslaught of tears. He felt Sam's arms go around him and heard her soft sobs. He wrapped his arms around her feeling as if the world had ended and he was left standing with just a handful of the ashes and a heart full of the memories.

Can you hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can you see him?
Can you make him feel all right?
If you can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See he's not just anyone
He's my son

He knelt down on the slightly overgrown grass. He would have been fourteen today. About ready to enter high school with a heart full of dreams. It was fourteen years ago today that Danny had sat in a tiny room holding his screaming wife's hand as tight as he could. Just hoping against hoping that both his wife and new infant son would come through this all right. That they had survived. It was the rest they'd had problems with.

Danny layed the rose on the ground and traced word after word on the tombstone with his callused finger. 'Matthew Daniel Fenton. Beloved Son, Grandson, and Nephew. To the boy who always believed in reaching for his dreams, We'll miss you, Matt.' Danny stared back at the sky, even trying to fight back the tears. He wasn't just another little boy. No, he would never be just another boy. Matt was his son.

Can you hear me?
Can you see him?
Please don't leave him
He's my son