Tales of Caladbolg

A/N: I do not own FFX... I wonder what it would be like though... Hey, I got the Sun Sigil after yelling at the screen and waking up the neighborhood!

CHAPTER 2 - Dodger Chocobo

"Dodger Chocobo is different from Wobbly Chocobo because your Chocobo will run straight... Also, blitzballs will be pelted at you. Try to navigate through them." Trainer explained.

"Yeah, yeah... Same thing..." Tidus replied, seemingly bored of Trainer's explainations, "Let's do it already!"

"Alright then... Try and shoot for 13.3, OK?" Trainer asked.

"Whatever!" Tidus said eager to ride.

"3...2...1...GO!" Trainer counted down.

Tidus' Chocobo ran smoothly forward, in a staright line. Tidus felt like a king! He controlled the Chocobo with ease, and it would turn at his bidding. But then... A blitzball smacked him right in between the eyes!

"WHAT THE HELL!" Tidus screamed, fearing the worst. He tried to avoid another one, but failed and his Chocobo careened off course, popping a balloon.

"Dammit..." The Trainer said, under her breath.

"I'm... I'm OK... just suffering... internal brain damage." Tidus said, holding his head. Instantly another blitzball hit him in the head.

"Ah! The pain!" Tidus yelled out.

He guided his chocobo through a minefield of blitzballs, failing to avoid many of them. With each hit, Tidus' Intellegence stat went down (just kidding).

"Great, you crossed the finish line! I clocked you at 34.9... Try harder!" Trainer said, dissapointed.

"You! You are twisted lady!" Tidus screamed, letting his anger out, "No more! No more of this!"

"Come." Auron said calmly, "Gagazet's peaks await our arrival."

"Anything to get away from her!" Tidus said, running toward the exit.

"Don't worry... you'll come crawling back..." Trainer said.

"Spira's sorrow... blah blah... (whatever she says)... hope..." Yunalesca explained in a long, boring speech.

When is she going to shut up! Tidus thought to himself, But hey, she's hot... I could look at her for the next hour or so...

"Now is the time to shape your stories! Fall now and be free of pain, or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to choose..." Auron yelled out in a rather cool line, yet Tidus wasn't listening.

Man, I want to so prove that Trainer lady wrong! I can beat her crappy time! Tidus' thoughts trailed on.

"Kimahri protect Yuna..." Kimahri said his line.

Hehehe... I'll show her! Wait, what are we doing now? Oh yeah, fighting Yunalesca... Tidus thought, Umm... come on Tidus! Say something cool...

"Yuna! This is our story! Let's see it through together!" Tidus said his cool line.

Oh yeah! I probably scored some points for that one!

Tidus and the gang returned to the Calm Lands, Wakka, Auron and Kimahrim to cath fiends, Yuna, Lulu and Rikku to talk about stuff (probably Tidus...), and Tidus' goal... To prove the trainer lady wrong!

"Well well well... If it isn't Tidus!" Trainer said, "You come to prove me wrong?"

"Let's do this!" Tidus said, sure he could win.

"Righty then... 3...2...1...GO!" Trainer counted down once more.

Tidus' Chocobo sped up, and he dodged blitzballs like a pro. He dodged so many, that he almost reached the finish line until... A blitzball zoomed at high speeds into Tidus' face. Blood shot out of his nose, as his head was ricocheted backwards.

"You crossed! I clocked you at 13.2!" Trainer said with joy, "Um.. you OK?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine." Tidus said, blood shooting down his face.

"Are you sure, because I can-" Trainer lady started to offer help.

"Oh no, I'm fine." Tidus turned around and yelled, "Yuna, get a Pheonix Down ready."

"Why?" Yuna asked.

"You'll see..." Tidus said. He collapsed, lifeless.

"Oh my Yevon!" Yuna yelled, pulling out a Pheonix Down and thorwing it on top of Tidus' body. A beam of light arose the KO'd warrior.

"Thanks..." Tidus said, weakly.

"Are you ready for the next challenge?" Trainer asked.

"There's more!" Tidus said, angry.

"Next is Hyper Dodger..." Trainer said, triumphantly, "You ready?"

"H..h...h...HYPER!" Tidus said, scared, "What's so 'hyper' about it?"

"You'll see..." Trainer said, smirking again.

A/N: Hehehe... he.. um, I guess next chapter Tidus get brutally mauled by birds?