Let That Be Enough
Summary: Upon getting the call that his girlfriends dead, Danny's world shattered. Now he's lost sitting in the pieces.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom. Butch Hartman does. I don't own Let that Be Enough. Switchfoot does.
Dedication: To Rainbow Serenity, my longest running Angst Fan. Here's hoping your birthday is great!
Danny sideways on his bed again in the dark. His head dangled over the side and his hair flipped downward toward the floor. The blood-rush was causing his head to hurt and his temples throbbed from the abuse. His eyes were closed and tears clung to the lashes not entirely sure where to go due to the strange change in gravity.
He opened his eyes just briefly. Normally bright blue eyes had taken on a dull blue-grey from lack of sleep and food. His cheeks stood out more prominently than they should. His eyes burned and felt grainy from lack of sleep and countless tears. But Danny knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep.
He closed his eyes and all he saw was her face frozen as she lie there in the coffin. They had done a good job of "making her look normal." But he could still see the signs of the skin completely gone from her temple when she was thrown from the car. The way her smashed right cheekbone and forehead had made her closed eyes look sunk in and unnatural.
It wasn't something everyone would notice. But they'd been going out for almost six years, since sophomore year of high school. There was no way he could have noticed. He'd finally told her he loved her on her 17 birthday. Now it was their junior year in college. Not theirs anymore, he thought bitterly, his. Sam had been robbed of hers.
Wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone
The answering machine came on, taking the call that Danny refused to. The recording of his voice sounded so cheerful he wanted to scream. "Hey! It's Danny. You know what to do." Danny glared at the machine as if it was the devil himself. He wished he could destroy it. But at the same time he never wanted to see it change. It was one of the few things that hadn't changed the past week. God knows everything else in his world had.
He glanced over at the desk in the corner of his dorm room that the forsaken machine sat on as the sound of someone having hung up rang through the room. There sat his favorite picture of him and Sam. His mom had taken it on prom night. Tucker, Melanie, and Sam had gotten together at his house to watch movies. They'd managed to stay up till about four o'clock before they all dozed off.
In the picture Sam was curled up in a pair of his pajama pants and an old T-shirt cause she had forgotten her stuff at home. She lay curved into his side, sleeping with her head on his shoulder. He had his cheek resting lightly against the top of her head. Both had small smiles on and there arms around each other. The first time he'd seen the picture was the moment he knew he could never imagine the rest of his life without her. Now that's exactly what he had to do.
And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land
Danny ignored the covert glances from his family as he walked out of the room. He knew coming back home was a mistake. But there was no way he could sit alone in his dorm room slowly driving himself out of his mind. Jazz had her husband there. Doug was great but it was horrible to watch his big sister get to live her dreams and knowing that he would never see his come true.
He walked through the kitchen, passing the refrigerator he was supposed to be getting a drink from. He walked through the room and slowly started down the stairs. He hadn't been down here in ages. Not since he figured out how to stop the ghost from coming through into this world. He walked over to the Fenton Ghost Portal and ran his fingers over the metal, callused fingers picking up on the subtle texture in the metal.
His eyes stung as the ever-present tears crept up on the edges of his eyes. He rested his forehead against the cool metal, letting his hands fall limply to his sides. He turned so his temple was pressed against the metal and he could stare at the control panel. The red activation switch silently called to him. "It would be so easy, Sam." He whispered brokenly. "It would be so easy," he breathed to the air. He took a ragged breath and squeezed his eyes closed against the pain. "So why is it so hard?"
And all I see
It could never make me happy
And all my sandcastles
Spend their time collapsing
Twilight settled over the beach and the young man couldn't tear his tortured gaze away from the bright crimsons and fuschias of the sunset. This had always been Sam's favorite place to go, where they could just sit and watch the little children growing up. Sam used to love to watch the little kids play. He'd always loved sitting here with her head on his shoulder. Just sort of dreaming out loud, sharing everything they thought about.
He watched as the tide came in and came slowly creeping towards a little picturesque sandcastle. He had never been able to make sandcastles. Both his best friends and his sister always could. They always assured the distraught raven-haired child that it was easy and he'd get it some day. But every time he would try and pull the bucket away it would crumple into a pile of clumped damp sand.
He remembered their senior year when they had been sitting here watching a little boy build one and Danny had laughed and said he hoped the kid had better luck than he ever did. Sam said "I hope that's sandcastle building thing you don't pass onto our kids." As soon as she said it, her eyes went wide. "I meant your," she said, pink staining her cheekbones.
Danny watched with an almost bitter sense of satisfaction as a wave finally managed to reach high enough to destroy the abandoned little sandcastle.
Let me know that you hear me
Let me know your touch
Let me know that you love me
Let that be enough
Danny rested his arms against his knees as he slumped against the wall of the empty dorm room. This was the last night it would be empty. Tomorrow a sophomore was moving in. She heard there was an empty single dorm and had jumped at the chance to get it. It didn't matter to her in the least that someone had died so she could have this room.
His eyes misted over as he thought about all the time he'd spent with her here. That was all they'd ever have, what had already happened. He would never spend another moment with her. Part of him wanted to run off into the ghost zone and find her, never let her go. If that meant living the rest of his life in a different world as Danny Phantom he would do it.
But then the sight of her mutilated face would rise in his eyes and fear would clench at his heart. He didn't know if he could stand to see her like that. But if he went and saw her like that, that would be what he would remember her as for the rest of his life. Not the laughing little five-year-old who caught his eye or the gorgeous sixteen-year-old that had stolen his heart. But as a broken remnant of a human and Danny didn't want that. He loved Sam too much to do that to her memory.
It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could know
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago
The little faces frozen on the paper smiled up at him. But he wasn't about to smile back at them. He wasn't sure he could if he wanted too. They seemed so young. Tucker didn't even have glasses yet. But it wasn't Tuck his eyes were fixed on. Sam's hair was still its natural dark brown that shone like a halo in the light the seven candles gave off. Little strands escaped the little lose French braid that Jazz had made earlier to prove she could. She looked so much like an angel that Danny couldn't believe it took him nine more years to notice her.
He took a breath, reminding himself it was taken exactly fifteen years ago. It just seemed like just yesterday but at the same time it seemed like several lifetimes. His eyes burned as his throat closed but he refused, to cry again. He slammed the book as hard as he could and shoved it off the desk. It fell to the floor with a sound that resounded like a gunshot through the room. He glanced down at the book to see the page Sam had stuck the three best friends pictures on.
He stared at the girl with a bright smile, wrapped in a black turtleneck and leaning against one of the trees in the City Park. He stared at the little note she had gave him along with the pictures. 'For the best friend I could ever ask for, here's hoping the rest of our lives are as happy as we are now. My Love Forever, Sam.' As he stared at the little note on ivory paper, anger bubbled up inside her. "Liar," he whispered fiercely. His throat burned as his tongue felt thick and refused to cooperate as the tears finally leaked to the corner of blood-shot eyes. "Liar."
And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah who am I
Just a kid who knows he's needy
The little gem glinted in the light coming from the street light outside the dorm window. He rolled his palm slightly and the engraved Casper High around the light stone shone prominently. He looked down at the tiny ring. It was the smallest ring in there class. He'd never really realized how tiny her fingers were until she'd got her class ring. He couldn't have fit it on his pinky when she'd gotten it. The strange thing was Sam hadn't gotten her birthstone, she'd gotten his. She had just said that it was because it was a better color than hers, but her eyes had whispered that there was something more to it than that.
The only jewelry Sam had been buried with was the necklace that Danny had got her as a graduation gift. The one she had told him that she never take off and, to his knowledge, never had. It was a silver locket with a lily engraved on it. It was something Sam had told him about in third grade and he remembered for some reason. Her grandmother always had one her grandfather had given, telling her to put her hopes, dreams, and tears in it for him. Sam had said that someday when she was in love she wanted someone to do that for her.
That was probably the greatest moment of his life. After their graduation party at Tuckers' house, he'd walked her home even though both their families were there and they both could have gotten rides. Standing on her front porch he'd given her the little black box and her eyes lit up. Tears gathered at the corners of her bright amethyst eyes. Smiling, he closed the clasp behind her neck, wiped her tears with his forefinger, and pressed his tear-dampened finger to the locket.
He still saw that moment in his dreams. It haunted him, reminding him that he would never be able to hold her again. But if he was completely honest with himself, Sam had never needed him. Even during the fights with her parents and the taunting from classmates, she always could handle herself. The truth is he was the one who needed her, now more than ever.
Let me know that you hear me
Let me know your touch
Let me know that you love me
Let that be enough
The faint specter traced a finger across the sleeping young mans jaw. He had cried himself to sleep again and it was killing her. He stirred in his sleep, murmuring her name. A sad smile graced her lips as gray-violet eyes misted. She reached a hand up and brushed his bangs from his forehead. She knew she didn't need to be here, that if he opened his eyes right now it would just make it harder on both of them. She glanced up at the picture of them from after prom on his desk and took a shaky breath.
"Sam." She glanced back down to have pale blue eyes meet her ghostly grey-violet ones. "Sam," he whispered again. He reached up and brushed a hand over her right temple, relief washing over him that smooth pale flesh met his fingers rather than scar tissue and smashed bone.
She reached up and rested her hand against his. "Danny, don't do this." His eyes met hers, his emotions unreadable.
"Your actually here," he breathed. She closed her eyes as she sank down onto a seated position on the edge of the bed.
She took a shaky breath. "I shouldn't be." She opened her eyes to see that he had sat up and was now facing her. "This is just going to make it harder on you." He remind silent, staring at her as if just trying to memorize everything about her. Sam glanced down. "I should go."
His free hand drifted to her wrist. "Don't leave me," he pleaded in a broken whisper. His cry pulled at her heart and tore at it more than watching him dying inside had. Sam couldn't stop herself from leaning forward and brushing her lips against his. Danny's hand went to the back of her neck as he kissed her back with all the emotions that had been running through him the past two weeks.
She pulled back slightly and stared into baby-blue eyes, only inches from her own. "I can't stay. We both know that." She felt the hand he had threaded through her hair curl into a fist, pulling her hair slightly. "I love you," she whispered. "Just let that be enough."
