Chapter Three
I really did go eat some Swiss cheese. It was good, too. Okay, I don't feel like talking right now, so I'm going to get right to the story.
Well, not right to the story…
Read, review, and run around in circles like a monkey! (I'm changing my motto next chapter. It's annoying me.)
Disclaimer: You should know this by now. I don't own anything of importance.
Chapter Three-
Link was standing in the lower room of Lon Lon Ranch, surrounded by strange white pecking things. He was strangely tempted to kick one, but something told him it was a bad idea, that something being Navi.
"I once heard a guy got killed because the Cuccos pecked him to death," Navi explained, bobbing up and down. (A/N: That guy that got killed being me playing the game…hehe…I just HAD to know what would happen…)
The door opened behind Link and he turned around. Saria inched her way inside, looking nervous. When she saw Link, she turned bright red. Navi tittered.
"Hi Link," Saria said.
"Hi…?" Link replied in confusion. Saria scooted her way along the wall and sat down on a bale of hay, resting her head in her hands and conveniently blocking her face with her hair.
"You are such an idiot," Navi said to Link.
"Why?" Link said angrily.
"Lots of reasons," Navi said offhandedly, "The main one being that you don't realize—"
"—Okay! I'm ready to go!" the upstairs door banged open and Malon thudded down the stairs, swinging her large Lon Lon Milk suitcase and almost giving several Cuccos a concussion.
"Okay," Link said, "Saria! We're leaving!" Saria peeked at Malon and her eyes narrowed.
"She doesn't like me," Malon whispered to Link.
"She'll get over it," Link explained hastily, heading out the door with Malon close behind.
"Did you tell you're dad where you're going?" Link asked Malon.
"Yep!" Malon said cheerfully, "He thinks I'm going to build character on a camping trip. So, where are we actually going again? I forgot."
As Link rolled his eyes, the door of the house opened and Saria walked out, with her head down, conversing quietly with Kilo.
"Are you talking to that fairy?" Malon asked Saria loudly before Link could answer her previous question. Saria jumped and looked guilty.
"Yeah," she said, and turned back to Kilo.
"She's been acting weird just now," Link mused as the trio strode along the passage out of Lon Lon Ranch, "And we're going to the castle, by the way."
"I know exactly where the castle is!" Malon said cheerfully, "My dad and I deliver milk there all the time. But we'll have to get past the guards first. They let us by, because we're bringing milk to the castle, but…" she had lost her train of thought, which wasn't very unusual for her, "I forget."
"You're very forgetful, you know that?" Link asked, stepping out into Hyrule Field.
"Yep!" Malon answered cheerfully, "Like, one time, I was supposed to be milking the cows, but I forgot about them, and then Ingo got mad and he threatened to stab me with his pitchfork, and then Talon threatened to fire Ingo and then I threatened to eat cottage cheese and then they stared at me like 'What the heck?' and then-"
"—Sorry to interrupt your fascinating conversation," Saria cut in, "But which way is the castle?"
"Right there," Malon said, pointing straight ahead to a humongous white fortress looking thing.
"Oh," Saria said as she and Link stared in amazement.
"It's…bigger than the Great Deku Tree!" Link said.
"It's not that big," Malon said, "Death Mountain is bigger."
The trio continued on their way, with Malon giving Link and Saria a guided tour of Hyrule Field. Meanwhile, not 30 feet behind them…
Bilbo cursed silently as he stepped on a twig with a large snap. Luckily, none of his stalkees (that's a new word meaning: "people being stalked") bothered to look behind them.
The hobbit couldn't believe he had actually gone through with his daring plan. He was far too old to be tracking three kids to some castle 20 miles away. But if they had the Ring, that made a world of difference. He was going to get that Ring back. They had no right to just take it from him and do whatever they wanted with it. Maybe the Ring could take him back to Middle Earth. That would be an added bonus.
"I should have just given the Ring to Frodo," the old hobbit muttered to himself, "Then I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have to follow these stupid kids around just so I could steal it—"
"—Did you just say 'steal'?" a voice from behind Bilbo interrupted. He jumped about three feet, but managing not to scream, and whipped around, breathing fast, terrified of what he might see. Standing not two feet behind him was a tanned woman in gigantic, poofy pants with a long red ponytail. Dangling from her waist was a nasty looking sword. Bilbo didn't quite know what to make of her.
"W-who are you?" the hobbit squeaked.
"My name is Nabooru," the woman replied, "Second-in-command of the Gerudos." Upon seeing Bilbo's blank expression, she added, "You know, the Gerudos. The women thieves from the desert?"
Bilbo just stared at her. Then he wondered…how did she manage to walk close enough to hear him talking without him even noticing her? She must be very stealthy, he decided. Then, it occurred to him…stealth was what he needed to get the Ring!
"Okay, well, never mind," Nabooru continued, "Who are you?"
"I'm Bilbo," he replied, "Um…could you do me a favor?"
"You want me to steal something, right?" Nabooru asked, "The Ring you should have given to Frodo?"
"…Yes," Bilbo said, surprised, then remembered she had overhead him talking, "Those kids…" he looked into the distance and noticed the three stalkees were now specks in the distance, "Oh no! They're getting away!" he cried. Nabooru didn't seem to care.
"Where are they going?" she asked.
"To the castle," Bilbo replied, in a hurry to go after them.
"Hold your horses," the Gerudo told him, "I'm starting to reconsider this job. I mean…the leader of my people—and the only guy—wants this Ring, too. I'm starting to think our leader doesn't have good intentions for the Ring…whatever it does."
"But you're not giving it to him, you're giving it to me!" Bilbo protested desperately.
"I know," Nabooru said, "But I'm the only Gerudo who doesn't want him to have the Ring. He's going to get it. It doesn't matter who has it. You said there's three kids guarding it right now? They don't stand a chance, and neither do you." She appeared to be thinking hard, "What they need is protection from the Ring, not someone else trying to steal it." She looked at Bilbo.
"I'm not getting you that Ring," she announced, "I'm going with them. Go back where you came from. Have a nice day."
The lady took off, flying past Bilbo after the kids. He stood there, spluttering in disgust. So close, and yet so far…curse his luck! Of all the thieves he could have gotten, he had to get the nice one with good intentions! Then another evil plot began to form in his mind…Nabooru had said she was the only Gerudo who didn't want to get the Ring. What if he could find the other Gerudos, and persuade them to help him out?
"Now you're talking…" Bilbo said to himself. It occurred to him that he had no idea where the Gerudos lived. Feeling wilted and disappointed, Bilbo slumped at a nearby sign. One glance told him it read: "Gerudo Valley ." Wait a minute…the hobbit straightened up, an evil gleam in his eye, and set off in the direction of the sign.
In the meantime, Nabooru was following close behind the three kids, observing and waiting to introduce herself. Besides typical kid bickering, the trio seemed to be getting along pretty well. The Gerudo absentmindedly wondered which one of them had the Ring.
As they began to near Hyrule Castle, Nabooru realized she would have a difficult time stalking them in the marketplace. (Not like she hadn't stalked people there before, though.) It would be lots easier to make her presence known now. As she stopped to consider this, one of the kids, a girl with long red hair, suddenly turned around and gasped loudly.
"What?" the boy asked impatiently, not even turning around as Nabooru slapped herself for being so stupid.
"A….a…ROCK WITH A LIZARD ON IT!" she gasped, pointing at a rock at Nabooru's feet. The thief looked down in surprise and noticed that, indeed, there was a rock with a bright green lizard sitting on it. But…
The other two kids, the blond boy and green-haired girl, turned around and looked at Nabooru, who stood there hoping they were so stupid they wouldn't notice her either.
"You idiot!" the green haired girl snapped, "That's not a rock, that's a mysterious-looking lady who was probably stalking us!" She fell silent as she realized what exactly she had just said.
"Hey," the boy said to Nabooru, "Who are you, and why were you stalking us?"
"I wasn't stalking you," Nabooru replied, stepping closer, "I was…observing your behavior."
"Sure…" the boy said sarcastically.
"My name is Nabooru, and I'm a Gerudo," the Gerudo continued, thinking that she had been doing a lot of introducing herself today, "I'm here to help you."
"Really?" the red-haired girl, who seemed to be over the lizard-on-the-rock thing, asked eagerly, "I'm Malon. That boy is Link, and that weird-looking girl is Saria." The other two scowled at her.
"That's nice," Nabooru said, "But I need to tell you something. All the Gerudos but me want that Ring you have."
Saria gasped overdramatically, and Link's hand flew to his pocket as he demanded defensively, "How did you know about the Ring?"
"Who doesn't?" Nabooru asked in a bored tone, "The point is that I'm coming with you, whether you like it or not. You're going to get killed if you just walk around out here all by yourself. By the way…some old man was stalking you earlier. I don't know where he went, though. He wanted me to get the Ring from you, but I said no."
"That must have been Bilbo!" Malon said, "He's too old to be stalking people. I hope he's okay."
"He'll be fine," Nabooru assured her, "So are you going to the castle or not?"
"We are, we are," Link said, rolling his eyes at Saria. First they picked up a ditzy girl with no brain, and now a bossy thief with an attitude problem. What was next?
"Good," Nabooru took the head of the pack, purposely waving her nasty-looking sword in Link's direction.
"She looks dangerous," Navi whispered to him, "But I think she's still on our side."
"Come on, slowpokes!" the Gerudo yelled impatiently. Sighing deeply, Link led Saria and Malon on.
They reached the drawbridge several minutes later. Amazingly, the guard standing there let them all go past. Now the four found themselves in a crowded market bustling with Hylians. Link and Saria had never seen so many people in one place before. Link noticed several people were giving Nabooru a mistrustful look, while the same people would go up to Malon, pinch her cheek, and exclaim, "Oh look, it's Talon's daughter! How cute!" Sometimes they even gave her candy.
"That's the advantages of being adorable," Malon boasted, looking meaningfully at Saria as she shoved the candy into her mouth.
"Quit being such a pig," Nabooru scolded in disgust, weaving in and out of the crowd until they reached a large stone building.
"Hey! This isn't the castle!" Malon said with her mouth full.
"Don't you think I'm aware of that?" Nabooru snapped, "It's the Temple of Time. We're stopping here before we get anywhere near that castle." She walked up the stone steps and pushed the door open.
"She's got some big pants," Saria whispered to Link, who nodded. The Gerudo stuck her head back out the door.
"What did you just call me?" she demanded.
"I said…uh…you've got some nice…" Saria struggled to think of a word that sounded like pants, "…implants." Right after she said that, she realized just how big a mistake that had been.
"WHAT?" Nabooru roared as several birds flew out of a nearby tree.
"I mean, uh, plants!" Saria cried, which was the second word that had come to mind. Nabooru's face darkened in suspicion and she disappeared inside the door. Link was snickering madly.
"Link!" Saria said, "It's not that funny!" She dragged him inside the temple door, with Malon trailing close behind.
End Chapter Three-
Okay, how was that? I don't know about you, but I'm cracking up right about now. Thank you, rhyming dictionary! Review!
Keatonzeldagirl
