My New Years Resolution.

Summary: Sam finally cracks after one jibe too many about her recently murdered friend.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom, Butch Hartman does.

Dedication: To Mary, I'm sorry I was never a good best friend.

Shut up! Yeah, that's right. I talked back in front of all your friends. That's what you get for dragging me down here to your New Years Party. I could have sat up in my room and, what is it you called it? Oh, yes; "obsess rather than move on." You know what, Mom? I really don't care about you're petty little image. I couldn't care less! I'm sick of you trying to pretend this didn't happen. It did.

I know I'm attracting attention. Thanks for pointing out the obvious. You always were good for that. Allow me to point out the obvious, my best friend is dead. I watched them get murdered and I didn't raise a finger to stop it. That's why Danny's dead. And that's why I'm still here.

You want to know the truth? Because you don't have a clue as to what actually happened. I was going to get married that night. I know, jaw dropping isn't it? How you ask? Oh, I don't need your permission. I'm pregnant. That's right, Mom and Dad. Your perfect little sixteen-year-old got knocked up. Aren't ya proud of me? Isn't this what you always wanted while you were trying to control my life? Yay for you. You've got it. Yep, Merry late Christmas, you two, you're gonna be grandparents.

Oh, I would have someone standing here with me when I told you. But he's dead now. Danny died and it's all my fault. He told me to stay right there, at the park, that he'd be right back. He had to go call Tucker and Jazz on a payphone cause his cell phone was dead. They were going to be our witnesses for the wedding. We were going to rent a little hotel room and the four of us would hide out for the night. All that was left was to call them.

I should have just gone with him. What harm could it have done? My brain should have red flagged. A sixteen-year-old girl standing in a park by herself at eleven o'clock at night is not good. But I stayed.

I lied when I said I didn't know our attackers. I lied to the police, I lied to you guys, but above all, I lied to myself. It was the same people who had been abusing Danny for three years of high school. The torment had been getting progressively worse every year. Why did we never see it coming? The four of them snuck up around me and grabbed my arm.

I must have screamed. I really don't remember screaming but I must have, cause the next thing I knew Danny was back. He tried to take on all four of them. Last year he could have done it. Before he gave up his pow—nevermind. But last year he could have taken them. But this year by himself he didn't stand a chance.

They held me and I watched them beat him. They kicked him and hit him. And once they had him down, they slammed his head into the concrete sidewalk. It's all I see in my nightmares is that panicked look in his eyes before they slammed his temple down against the ground. He was still conscious after that, but he wasn't all there. Something was wrong, he was in shock or confused or something.

That's when the worst happened. They slit his throat. The look in his eyes I'll never forget. It was like I was the only thing I could see; like the only thought going through his mind was me and his baby, the one I'm carrying; like he couldn't understand why I hadn't stopped them. Why I hadn't fought harder. He had given everything for me and I just stood there. But he was still alive.

But that's when I gave up. The whole time I'd been struggling, but at that moment something snapped. I couldn't fight anymore. Not without Danny. That's when they raped me. Afterwards, I thought about just pretending it was a rape child, not ours. But that would be betraying him and everything he died for. He died for me and that baby. And they raped me while he was there bleeding to death, too weak to do anything but watch and beg for them to stop.

I never even felt it. Don't look at me like I'm lying, because I didn't. Not until—not until Danny stopped pleading for them to stop. You know what was worse than the pleading? I didn't figure out till afterward what that sound was. He was choking on his own blood. He couldn't breath because they'd nicked his windpipe and he was choking on his own blood. No! Don't you dare tell me to shut up. Because this time I'm going to tell it; this time you've pushed one time to many. Sucks to be you huh?

I know. You have no idea why I'm telling this to you now. But I do. I'm dying, Mom. I went online and ordered a cyanide capsules. Isn't the internet awesome? Ah, the advances of technology. I'm dying. I broke it open and took only half the powder. It tasted terrible but I forced myself to swallow it anyway.

I know I'm killing the baby. But it was his baby, too. And he's dead now. There's more sense in us joining him than him joining us being that he can't be here. Danny was the one who was excited about the baby. Not at first, of course. But after he had a while to adjust to the idea. He was so excited, he was going to be a daddy. Whether we had planned on it or not, he was taking it in stride. More than in stride, he was thrilled. Too bad he's dead now. Guess seventeen-year-olds weren't meant to have happily ever after.

I'm dying everybody. I hope you're incredibly proud of yourselves, Mom and Dad. You've pushed me to this point and I want you to know that. It would have been hard to live without Danny but there was no way I could live without him and put up with constant crap from you guys. I hope your proud of yourselves.

It's almost midnight, and I really hate to ruin all your fun. So I'm gonna go up to my room now and let you run damage control and assure all these lovely people that this is my idea of a joke. Well, this time the jokes on you. I hope you think it's funny, cause I sure don't.

You want to know my New Year's resolution? Something I want to change? I wish that I wasn't stupid. I wish I had the common sense to do the right thing for once in my pointless life. I wish I had parents who cared about what happened to me. I hope that some day people won't hate people enough to kill them for no decent reason. That humanity improves enough that someone doesn't die watching their loved one suffer. I hope that everyone like you two drops dead.

And most of all, I hope you have the happy life that I'm never going to get. Because the worst part of this whole experience is the feeling deep inside that I deserved this. That I brought it upon myself. Because I was never the perfect, normal little girl you wanted. And I hope you're happy knowing that. I wish that you could love your grandchild that's never going to be born. Aren't you proud of me?

I know it's fifteen minutes or so early but Happy New Years, everybody! Hurray! Now you can all get plastered and think this was some substance-induced hallucination. I'm proud of you all. What you've become. I wonder how you can sleep at night. I can hardly live with myself. But that doesn't matter anymore. I feel better knowing that I'll never have to enter the real world. That wonderful status-quo we're all striving for.

Cause I know I'd never make it. But you know what I've finally realized. I don't need to even try. Because whether you like it or not, I was good enough for somebody. Danny loved me, even if you two never, ever could. I would have made a better mother than you. I would have loved my kid and they wouldn't have had to constantly strive for my approval. I would be a perfect person. Too late for that. I'm leaving you to damage control now. Hope you and your petty, little friends can forgive me. By the way, Mom and Dad. Happy New Years.