Chapter Seven—The Cucco or the Egg?

Disclaimer: (to the tune of YMCA) Young man, are you laughing at me? I said young man, you're reading my story! I said young man, there's one thing you should know before off to my fan fic you go (go go go go) I need to tell you that I don't own Zelda! It's really stupid but I don't own Zelda!

Okay, that was officially a weird disclaimer. My story is finally taking off! I'm so excited! Only a few more chapters and the Fellowship will be complete! I hope you're all loving it!

&Chapter Seven&

Tramping around Hyrule Field was even more interesting with the addition of three extra people.

"Do they have good food in Kakariko?" Rauru asked worriedly.

"They've got chicken eggs," Impa answered.

"Ew! Who would eat raw chicken eggs?" Zelda shrieked.

"You cook them, you idiot!" Saria snapped uncharacteristically.

"What's wrong with Saria?" Link muttered to Navi, "It's like she hates all the girls our age!"

Navi rolled her eyes. (?)

"Think about it, Link," his fairy said bracingly, "Why would a girl dislike all the other girls? Why would she be jealous because you were talking to them?"

"Uh…I don't know," Link said cluelessly. Navi sighed in exasperation.

"No!" she snapped, "Can't you see? It's so obvious that she—"

There was a loud, long howling of a wolf as the sun began to set.

"This is just great!" Nabooru muttered, "We're gonna be out here in the middle of the night! My life just couldn't get any better!"

Link caught sight of the potion dangling from Saria's belt (no, he was not looking at her butt or anything), and remembered what the Great Deku Tree had told her.

"Saria!" he called. She jumped and looked at him.

"Drink the potion, remember?" Link reminded her. Saria nodded quickly and picked up the potion, unscrewing the cap.

"This better not taste nasty," she said to Kilo, plugging her nose and taking a sip.

But of course, the potion tasted horrible, like grass and a whole bunch of other nasty stuff mixed together. But if it was keeping her alive, Saria was going to drink it.

Several minutes later, the Fellowship was crossing the bridge, and the sky was dark.

"Watch out," Impa warned them, "There are these weird Stalchild skeleton things that like to—"

"AAAAH!" Malon screamed as a Stalchild grabbed her foot.

"Jump out of nowhere and grab you by the foot," Impa finished as Nabooru whipped out her sword and raised it over the monster, preparing to make Stalchild sushi.

"No!" Malon yelled forcefully, "Don't hurt it!"

"Why not? It's gonna kill you!" Nabooru started to bring her sword down, but Malon pulled the Stalchild out of the way.

"What is your problem?" the Gerudo demanded as Malon tried to soothe the trembling monster.

"Monsters have feelings too, you know!" the red-head shot back, "For example, this one's name is Jamal, and he doesn't like you, because you're a big meanie! And he wants to come with us!"

Impa and Nabooru exchanged a look.

"He can come with us," Impa sighed as Nabooru glared at her, "But only as far as Kakariko Village."

"Yay!" Malon hugged the Stalchild tightly, "You hear that, Jamal? You can come with us! We're going to have so much fun!"

"But only as far as the village," Nabooru reminded her sternly as they sat off again.

"Hey!" Rauru pouted, "I want a Stalchild, too!"

"They're only for special people, like me," Malon said obnoxiously, turning away and holding hands with Jamal. Rauru's eyes filled with tears, and his lower lip shook.

"Now, now, Rauru," Impa started, panicked but trying to sound soothing, "It'll be okay—"

"—WAAAAAAAH!" the old man started bawling his eyes out. Nabooru covered her face with her hands, and Impa grimaced. Zelda and Link were snickering madly.

Rauru collapsed on the grass, howling, tears streaming down his face.

"Uh…" Impa looked to Nabooru for help, "What do we do?"

"Chop his head off," Nabooru suggested miserably, not removing her hands from her face. Impa stared hopelessly at the old man throwing a temper tantrum. Malon did not look sorry in the least.

"Rauru!" Impa attempted to raise her voice over the old man's wails, "We'll get you some nice Cucco eggs when we get to the village, okay?"

Rauru did not move.

"I give up!" Impa snapped angrily, storming away towards the village. All the kids turned towards Nabooru.

"Why are you all staring at me? Do something yourselves!" Nabooru barked, turning and following Impa. Zelda trotted after her, nose in the air. Malon and Jamal pranced away shortly after.

Link and Saria stood there, feeling hopeless.

"You're the nice one," Link said to Saria, "You cheer him up."

Blushing at the compliment from Link, Saria scooted over to Rauru and knelt down besides him.

"Rauru?" she asked softly. The old man lifted his tearstained face. Saria tried not to giggle, remembering that the last time she had done this; it had been for a very young Kokiri girl who had scraped her knee.

"Um…We're going to the village now, okay?" Link couldn't help but admire how gentle and persuasive Saria managed to sound.

Rauru nodded, chin shaking violently.

"And…when we get there, Malon's not going to have her Stalchild anymore," Saria said, looking straight into Rauru's watery eyes, trying to calm him, "So you'll both be even. And there will be plenty of food for you to eat, and Malon will have to eat rocks."

Rauru giggled like a little girl. Saria bit her lip and willed herself not to back off.

"So, now will you come?" she asked. Rauru nodded slowly. Saria smiled and stood up with Rauru besides her. She looked at the stunned Link and motioned for him to come with them as they started across the field again.

"On one condition," Rauru said, stopping abruptly.

"What's that?" Saria asked nervously. Rauru extended his hands expectantly to Link and Saria on either side of him. Link rolled his eyes and took it. Saria delicately placed her tiny hand in Rauru's, feeling very embarrassed and wondering what the world was coming to that a Kokiri had to walk a fat man across a field because he wanted a pet monster.

When they reached Kakariko, it was almost morning, and the rest of the Fellowship was waiting at the foot of stone steps leading up to the village. Nabooru, Zelda, and Impa cracked up at the sight of Rauru and his two companions. Malon and Jamal were too busy playing Patti-cake to notice.

"Is Rauru feeling better?" Impa snickered.

"Yes, I am!" Rauru said angrily, "And I want some food!"

"Let's get inside before he loses it again," Nabooru muttered to Impa. The two turned and scampered up the steps. Rauru refused to let go of Saria and Link and plodded up the stairs with him at his slow pace.

"Malon," Zelda sniffed, straightening her dress, "Quit playing stupid games with that thing. It's time to go."

Malon looked up.

"But I don't wanna go!" she whined, "Jamal and I are having so much fun!"

"Come ON!" Zelda raised her high voice so loud the Gerudos back at the castle probably heard it. Her face was all scrunched up and red.

"Geez, I'm coming!" Malon said, rolling her eyes. She turned to Jamal, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Jamal," she said, "We will always be friends, won't we?"

Jamal was silent. Obviously—Stalchildren can't talk.

"I knew you'd think so," Malon gushed to the skeleton.

"I'm waiting!" Zelda was tapping her foot impatiently, arms crossed.

"Hold on!" Malon said to Zelda, then she turned back to Jamal.

"Here, take this as a token of our friendship," Malon pulled her yellow bandanna from around her neck and tied it around Jamal's instead.

"Goodbye, Jamal," she said sadly, "I know we'll always be the best of friends."

"Oh my gods," Zelda gushed as Jamal loped away across the field and disappeared underground as the sun rose, "You gave that thing your bandanna? Why would it want a bandanna?"

"Because!" Tears were pouring down Malon's face, "It was a token of our friendship!"

"Whatever," the Princess rolled her eyes and daintily hopped up the steps. Malon scanned the field for Jamal, but he was nowhere in sight. Blowing her nose loudly on her sleeve, she thudded up the stairs in her heavy boots.

"Ah, home sweet home," Impa breathed in deeply as they walked into the lazy air of Kakariko Village. A Cucco pecking nearby toddled over to Nabooru's feet.

"Shoo!" she yelled, kicking it.

"Nabooru!" Impa shrieked in panic as the Cucco shook violently, threw back its head, and made a loud honking noise.

"What the—" Nabooru started as Impa grabbed her arm and raced with her into the nearest house, which was conveniently empty.

"Everyone! Get inside now!" Impa yelled to the confused remainder of the Fellowship. Malon and Zelda were quick, but the two Kokiri were still chained to the slow Rauru. As they plodded over at a steady pace and Impa started freaking out, Nabooru asked, "What was that about? What's that thing gonna do to me?"

Saria, Link, and Rauru started screaming as they were surrounded by a mob of pecking Cuccos. They tore inside the house and Impa slammed the door. There were pecking sounds from outside, and lots of little beak tips were stuck in the door.

"They killed me!" Saria shrieked, extending her arm to reveal lots of little holes in her skin.

"You'll be fine," Impa assured her hastily. She turned to Nabooru.

"Now do you see why we don't kick the Cuccos?" she asked impatiently.

"Yeah," Nabooru said, smirking, "But that was pretty funny!"

"It was not!" Rauru cried, "And I'm still hungry!" He looked like he was on the verge of tears again.

"Oh no," Impa raced to the cupboard and peeked inside, seizing a can of Beanie Weenies.

"Here," she said, handing it to the old man. He looked excited and ripped off the top, chugging the beans down in record speed.

"Ew…" Nabooru looked sick and Rauru groped in the cabinet for another can, and another, and another…

"I think that's enough beans!" Zelda advised, wrinkling her nose as everyone stared at Rauru in a horrified silence.

"Hey…do you think the Cuccos are gone yet?" Saria was desperately looking for an excuse to get away from Rauru before the…aftershock…of the beans started to take effect.

"Maybe…" Impa slowly pulled open the door. All the Cuccos beaks were still stuck in it, and they were hanging off the door.

"Cool!" Link stepped out, admiring the poor animals, followed by a sympathetic Saria.

"Alright Rauru, since you can barely even walk, you're staying here," Nabooru spoke to the gluttonous man who was still eating, though she wasn't sure he was listening, "So don't do anything stupid. I know that's hard for you, but you need to try."

"Do I have to come?" Zelda whined as Nabooru started to leave.

"Zelda," Nabooru said bracingly, "Do you really want to be stuck here with him?" She nodded in the direction of Rauru.

Zelda only hesitated two seconds.

&End Chapter&

Okay, I'm a filthy stinking liar and they didn't go to Death Mountain in this chapter, but it turned out kinda long! Stick around!

Keatonzeldagirl