As always, thanks to SamIAm4. And thanks a whole lot to Christina Anton, Lucy76, redladyreba, rain1657, and Anna for reviewing. I'm really glad you've all liked it so far, and I hope you all like this one.
Oh, yeah... I don't own the characters.
In the darkness of the garage, Helena knelt beside Dinah as Barbara tried to coax the teen back into the real world. The blonde was still crying softly in her sleep, so Barbara continued speaking in a soothing tone, running her fingers through the blonde's hair. Helena tried to give her mentor the space she needed, but she found herself crowding the pair again and again as she tried to get a better look at what was happening.
She told herself that it was only because the Hummer was so cramped.
She felt Alfred's presence behind her, almost too close for comfort. He was probably just as wor-
He probably didn't have enough space in the Hummer, either.
'Barbara will pull Dinah out of it,' Helena reminded herself. 'It's gonna be okay.'
The teen looked so small, curled into a ball on the back seat. It suddenly seemed ridiculously absurd that she was training to be a superhero. 'New rule,' Helena thought to herself. 'Anyone who still uses the word "superhero" is too young to join.'
Abruptly, Barbara froze, her hand still resting on Dinah's head. The sudden change in her mentor's bearing cut right through the brunette's musings.
"Barbara," Helena asked tentatively, reaching for the redhead's arm.
A gentle hand on her shoulder stopped her.
Her hand paused, and she turned to see Alfred looking down at her.
"It's all right, Miss Helena," he said gently, giving her shoulder a small squeeze. "Miss Dinah may not be aware of what is going on around her, but I believe she has instinctively called Miss Barbara for help. We must not interfere as they fight through this together."
"But, Dinah's mind…" Helena trailed off worriedly, and looked back at the pair. Dinah was still crying exactly the same as she had been earlier, and tears were beginning to form in Barbara's eyes. "Last time Dinah pulled us into someone's mind, Ketterly almost killed all of us."
"Miss Barbara would be quite upset if she knew you doubted her ability to take care of herself," Alfred commented wryly, lifting an eyebrow.
Helena scowled and looked back at him. Immediately, her annoyance was replaced with concern. "You're worried, too."
"Watching loved ones fight their battles without the ability to help never becomes easy, Miss Helena," he said softly, looking at Barbara instead of at her. "Especially a fight like this."
For several long minutes, the grandfatherly butler and the vigilante watched as Barbara and Dinah fought to undo the more damaging of the Black Canary's legacies.
After a few minutes, Helena noticed that something was happening to both Dinah and Barbara. Dinah's quiet crying had increased to heart-wrenching sobs, and slow tears were coming down Barbara's cheeks. Suddenly, the redhead stiffened measurably in her chair, and her face contorted in open anger.
"Alfred," Helena said, drawing out the word with a hint of panic in her voice.
"This is not necessarily a bad sign," Alfred said quickly, tightening his grip on the brunette's shoulder almost imperceptibly.
"Well, it sure as hell isn't a good one!" Helena said angrily. Still, Alfred always knew what was best, so she didn't move to touch either of them.
But that didn't mean she had to like it.
As the minutes stretched on, the anger written on Barbara's face only intensified, occasionally flashing to other looks that Helena couldn't identify.
"I wish I knew what was going on in there!" she finally growled in frustration, hitting her knee with her fist.
"As do I, Miss Helena," Alfred commented softly. "As do I."
And that admission scared Helena more than anything else.
Finally, Barbara's face softened.
"Do you see that, Alfred?" Helena asked quickly, pointing and fighting down the urge to jump for joy. Sure, she was happy, but there was no reason to be undiginified about it.
Alfred nodded, smiling in relief and hope.
"Yes," he said confidently, "it seems that the worst is over."
"Alfred!" Helena admonished, frowning at him. "Don't ever say that the worst is over. It's like saying that things can't get any worse. And things always get worse after someone says that."
"I apologize, Miss Helena," Alfred said, trying not to smile. "I shall be more careful in the future."
Helena nodded and turned back to Barbara and Dinah, hoping that the jinx gods hadn't heard him.
After another minute or so, Dinah's sobs began to grow more and more quiet, until she stopped crying altogether.
Suddenly, Barbara sat back in her chair and took a deep breath, finally pulling her hand away from Dinah.
"Barbara?" Helena asked tentatively.
The redhead looked around herself, and shook her head as if to clear it.
"Barbara?" Helena asked more insistently, trying to keep the worry from her voice.
Barbara caught it anyway. "I'm fine," she said quickly, looking from Alfred to Helena. "Dinah was having a nightmare… she pulled me into her mind."
"What happened?" Helena asked, her voice even, but her face worried.
"It's okay," Barbara assured her. She paused for a moment, and considered how much to tell her. Finally, she decided that the brunette needed to know in order to understand how to help Dinah. She took a deep breath and let it out as a sigh.
"Dinah dreamed that her mother came back and was trying to take her away," she explained, including both Helena and Alfred in her gaze. "Helena and I were both in the dream, refusing to protect her."
The look of shame on Helena's face made Barbara pause.
She started to tell her protégé that it had just been a dream… but it hadn't been, had it? She started to tell her that she couldn't have known… but Dinah had tried to tell them both, hadn't she? Barbara started to tell her that they had done the right thing when they insisted that Dinah give her mother a chance… but that was what had caused the most damage, wasn't it?
For several long moments, she tried to think of something to ease Helena's guilt, but nothing came. Finally, she just looked away, mired in the guilt that she had failed both of her charges.
"Miss Barbara, Miss Helena," Alfred said sternly, startling Barbara. "How can the two of you expect to help Miss Dinah past this difficult time when neither of you are past it? She needs both of you now."
As if in response to his words, the teen started stirring. Barbara shoved away her guilt and turned her upper body towards the blonde.
Dinah woke up slowly with a peace that she couldn't quite define. But when she opened her eyes to the familiar darkness, she got confused and quickly panicked.
"Shhh… it's okay, Dinah. I'm right here."
"Barbara?" she asked, realizing that her guardian was sitting next to her, running her fingers through her hair. She felt like a little kid, but it made her feel comforted… safe. Helena was there, too, crouching down next to her a little bit behind Barbara. And she could see Alfred's kind face next to the window. Wait… the window?
"Um… are we in the Hummer?"
Before anyone answered her, the events of the day came rushing back at her. She stiffened abruptly, Barbara actions suddenly seeming a betrayal. Was she softening her up before she kicked her out?
But as Dinah became more aware of her surroundings, she couldn't help wondering if she would be kicked out at all. It was dangerous to hope and she wouldn't let herself… but her guardian was smiling so gently, and even Helena looked relieved. Alfred was standing beside the door, and he'd never been mad at her before.
But, then, she'd never gone off comms before.
And yet, there was… an expectation, almost… that Barbara would understand. Dinah didn't know why she felt that the redhead would see when she hadn't for weeks, but she did. Realizing that, she quickly steeled herself against such thoughts; they would only make her hurt worse later.
Barbara saw the teen, still lying on the back seat, stiffen and look up at her almost angrily. Even though the abrupt change startled her, she was careful not to change her body language. The last thing Dinah needed was for her to pull away at the first sign of a conflict.
'She doesn't remember the dream,' she realized. 'Or she thinks it wasn't real.'
Dinah looked around herself and then back at Barbara. The look of anger eased a little into suspicion and confusion.
Barbara couldn't blame her for either one and saddened once again as she thought of how she had failed her charge. Dealing with the suspicion would take time, so she decided to address the confusion. "Dinah, do you remember what happened today?"
The blonde looked stricken and quickly diverted her gaze. She was quiet for several long moments, and then said in a very small voice, "I went to the kidnapper's house."
Suddenly she jerked upwards stiffly and sat up straight. She looked Barbara in the eye, her expression momentarily clear and asked, "The kid… Will… was he there? Is he okay?"
Pride swelled within her as Barbara watched Dinah's concern for the little boy outweigh all of her other worries. She really did have the heart.
"He's fine," she was quick to assure the teen, reaching out to take her hand.
Her heart broke when Dinah pulled her hand away and scooted a bit farther away on the seat.
Barbara saw Helena frown and then smile broadly to cover it up. "You saved the day, kid. Will didn't even know anything was wrong when you came barging in."
Dinah gave a relieved smile, but it quickly faded and she looked away again.
"You did everything exactly right," Barbara said, smiling. "Well, aside from going off comms, of course, but we can talk about that later. You followed your leads as quickly as possible, double checked your facts by finding Will's backpack in the car, and then apprehended the culprit."
Barbara made sure she had eye contract before saying gently, "You saved a life today, Dinah. Maybe even more than one."
The blonde blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, a reluctant, proud smile slowly creeping onto her face. "I guess so," she finally said softly, ducking her head.
"We'll celebrate later," Barbara said, returning the smile, "but right now you're going straight to the med lab so I can make sure you're all right."
"Yeah, okay," the teen acquiesced quietly.
Helena and Dinah got out first to get out of the way of the lift and waited patiently for it to lower their friend to the ground. As she came down, Barbara searched Dinah's face for any hint of her thoughts, but the teen's shield was up in full force. She was reacting passively, almost as if she expected any action to bring the world down around her.
It was the exact opposite of Helena's defense reaction. When things began to come apart, Helena had a tendency to become almost reckless, daring the world to end so at least she wouldn't be in pain for long. Dinah, on the other hand, was becoming increasingly subdued, pulling into her shell in a vain effort to keep from hurting when the pieces came crashing down.
As they all made their way to the med lab, Alfred trailing behind with the unnecessary stretcher, Barbara wracked her brain to come up with some way to bring the blonde out. She doubted she would have the luxury of getting pulled inside her head a second time.
The elevator ride was made in uncomfortable silence, with Dinah becoming more and more visibly nervous as it neared the top.
As the doors opened, Barbara asked nonchalantly, "Helena, would you mind monitoring the Delphi?"
Helena's mouth dropped open at the invitation to watch the computers unsupervised, but when her gaze slid to Dinah, a look of realization flickered across her face. "Sure. I'll come get you if anything happens."
Barbara nodded and focused her attention back on Dinah as the brunette walked away.
"I will begin making dinner if you don't need me, Miss Barbara," Alfred said, having probably realized before even the redhead did, what her course of action must be.
"Thank you, Alfred," she said, smiling at him gratefully.
"You are quite welcome," he said, stopping to put a reassuring hand on Dinah's shoulder before walking away.
The blonde looked panic stricken as everyone left, as if she thought she had been thrown to the wolves.
"Let's make sure you're all right and then we'll have dinner," Barbara said, gesturing toward the medlab.
Dinah nodded, not quite making eye contact with her and walked ahead.
Barbara wheeled behind her, desperately trying to think of a way to break the tension. Finally, as they both entered the room, she asked, "Does anything hurt?"
Dinah shook her head.
Barbara gestured towards a chair and wheeled to one of the cupboards. She found a cloth and went to the sink to wet it. The sound of the running water was welcome and soothing, but did little to release her tension. Somehow, she needed to get Dinah to talk.
"I need to clean your hands to make sure your knuckles are all right," she explained, shutting off the faucet and wheeling towards the teenager. "Do they hurt you at all?"
Dinah shrugged, still looking away.
Growing frustrated, Barbara took a moment to calm herself before she took one of Dinah's hands and began to gently clear away the blood.
"Dinah, have you been having nightmares?" she finally asked.
The blonde's gaze jerked towards her in panic, and then went away just as quickly. She shrugged noncommittally.
Barbara grimaced in sympathy as she finished cleaning the blood from Dinah's left hand. Helena had been right- the blood was not hers, but the knuckles were discolored and already beginning to swell. It was a wonder that the teen hadn't minded them being cleaned.
"Can you make a fist?" she asked, releasing the hand.
Dinah nodded and showed her, finally making eye contact.
"Good," Barbara encouraged. "It doesn't look broken, but you'll need to ice it before the swelling gets much worse. Now give me the other one."
Dinah hesitated. Her right hand was hurting worse than the other. She didn't figure that Barbara would hurt her… but what if she got mad that she'd hurt her hand? It wasn't like Helena ever broke her fist on the bad guys' heads.
Well, okay, so it had happened once, but only because some stupid guy decided to head butt her and she didn't block correctly. And, the teen remembered in growing panic, Barbara had been upset.
"Dinah?" she heard Barbara ask gently. "I'm not going to hurt you. I need to see your hand."
For a reason that she didn't quite understand, that made Dinah want to cry. She fought down the urge, already upset that she had gotten hurt, and afraid to allow herself to be vulnerable.
She looked up and saw Barbara's hands out, ready to hold her own. Taking a deep breath, she gave her guardian her injured hand.
Barbara took her hand gently in one of her own and used the other to run a clean section of the cloth over her knuckles. Despite her resolve, Dinah jumped when the cloth touched one of the bones between her knuckles and her wrist.
Making a note of the injured area and carefully avoiding it, Barbara decided that it was time to get Dinah to talk and asked softly, "Where does it hurt, sweetheart?"
The gentle tone brought back the tears but the teen fought them again. 'This is so stupid!' she admonished herself harshly. 'Why does it make me want to cry?' She didn't want to show Barbara the pain, but she desperately didn't want to be hurt again. So, after a moment's consideration, she pointed to the sore place on her hand and said, "I think it's broken."
Barbara nodded and finished with the cloth, still holding the broken hand in her own. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, careful not to sound accusing or angry as she looked into the watery blue eyes.
Instead of answering, the blonde just stared at the floor in defeat.
"Dinah, why won't you talk to me?"
The teen didn't move, but inside she was a swirl of emotions. 'Talking never helps!' she screamed inside of her head.
Part of her just wanted to give up and leave before they kicked her out. Part of her desperately wanted to stay. She was terrified to answer her guardian's question, but equally fearful that her refusal would make the redhead angry. Everything was spinning again… but there was Barbara, still gently cradling her injured hand.
A memory stirred within her. The shadows of a nightmare ended slowly came into the light, but instead of dispelling the shadows, the light gave them form and life. It made the shadows real.
"Barbara…" Dinah said softly, her voice catching. The tears finally overflowed as she struggled to find the courage to ask what she suddenly dared to hope. "Were you there?"
Barbara smiled gently and nodded, her own eyes filling.
"You saw," Dinah said fearfully. Her eyes grew wide in panic, and her tears gained sudden urgency.
"It's all right," Barbara assured her quickly. "Dinah, you can't control what was in your nightmare. And, frankly, you have every right to feel angry, upset, hurt, abandoned, or anything else because of our actions."
The teen turned away, but Barbara continued. "Helena and I forced you to give your mother a chance after she had already hurt you, and then we refused to listen when you tried to tell us what was wrong."
The redhead started to reach forward when she realized she was still holding Dinah's injured hand in both of her own. She shifted the teen's hand so she could hold it with one of her own, and then used her other hand to gently touch the blonde's chin, moving it until she was looking into Dinah's wet blue eyes.
"I am so sorry," Barbara said seriously, not allowing her charge to break eye contact. "We all love you, Dinah, and we like having you here, but we thought that if we insisted that you stay, we'd be standing between a mother and her daughter."
"But I told you," Dinah cried in frustration, more out of her desperate need to not believe her mentor's words than the fact that they were going to let Canary take her.
"I know, sweetheart," Barbara said, running her hand through the teen's hair. "I should have listened. There's no excuse for what I did, but I really did think I was doing the right thing. No one should be forced to choose between their family and their dream."
"She wasn't my family," Dinah said softly, looking at her shoes. "When you chose for me, you chose the nightmare."
Barbara stopped mid motion, and pulled her hand away from the blonde to cup the injured hand in both of her own.
Dinah was immediately furious with herself for having said anything. Her gaze flickered upward just long enough to see the obvious pain in her guardian's eyes before looking away again. She expected to be yelled at. She expected Barbara to give up and turn away. She expected to be kicked out or maybe even hit. She felt her shoulders hunch as she automatically tried to make herself very small.
It caught her by complete surprise when Barbara said in a soft voice full of guilt and pain, "Dinah, why did you start sobbing when you felt Carolyn stop pulling you away?"
The teen's gaze jerked up towards her mentor once more, and then quickly went back to the floor in shame. She knew what Barbara thought, but to tell her the real reason would be to open up completely and make herself vulnerable.
"You were crying because Carolyn was taking you away," the redhead continued, her green eyes sad and full of pain. "But when I made her leave you alone… when you were finally able to stay… you slid to the floor and just sobbed as if I'd made things worse."
Dinah turned away and refused to answer, still deathly afraid of letting herself be open to being hurt again. Tears streamed down her cheeks at the sheer terror of it. But, then, Gabby's words came back to her.
"Maybe the way you've been acting has them afraid that you don't trust them enough to talk to them. It might make them think that you don't think of them as family anymore."
Dinah was terrified, frustrated, angry, and sad to the point of despair, but she would absolutely not let her guardian think that she didn't think of her as family. She knew what that felt like… she'd been feeling it for the past several weeks. The pain was too raw for her to bear the thought of allowing someone else to go through that… especially someone whom she did consider family. Swallowing past the lump in her throat, the teen took a few moments to muster up the courage to look the redhead in the eye while she answered, "I thought I was alone."
Barbara's heart broke at the teary admission, and she pulled the blonde into a hug, careful of her injured hands.
"Oh, honey, you're not. Helena, Alfred, and I are all here for you. I'm so sorry we made you feel that way."
Dinah leaned into Barbara's shoulder, sobbing in relief, and felt the arms around her tighten just a little. Each shed tear seemed to take with it just a little of her pain, and left her raging heart a little more relieved of the burden it had carried for so long.
There was so much relief. She was relieved that Barbara finally understood. She was relieved that her guardian had seen everything and hadn't condemned her for her anger or fear or sadness. She was relieved that Helena and Barbara had cared about her, even when she wasn't training or helping with the mission. And she was relieved that they'd all finally caught the killer, and a kid was back with a family who loved him.
"It's okay," Barbara said softly, running her hand in gentle circles on the girl's back. "Just let it all out. I'll always be here, and so will Helena and Alfred, okay? You can talk to us about anything. You're part of our family."
And, for the first time since her mother had tried to take her away, Dinah knew it was true.
