-Preperation
Nothing mattered to him anymore. His existence on this world was worthless and meaningless. This was the only escape he had. The only way to rid himself the pain of his life. Sure his parents would be sad for a day or two, but they would get over it soon. And it wasn't like anyone else would care, nobody cared about him.
Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
You keep these feelings, no one knows
His room was spotless, a feat that had never been accomplished before. He even went as far as to organize his draws and other belongings so that he would not be burdening his parents when he was gone. With one final sweep he checked his room making sure his belongings and other items were put away. He was sure his parents would send them to the Salvation Army or some other good cause. His death could help his parents, give them a tax break.
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
He then went to his desk and took out a couple sheets of paper and a pen. Right there and then he began writing, pouring forth more emotion into this than anything before in his life. He wrote a letter to his parents thanking them for housing him and caring the burden of keeping him. He wanted them to know that he was doing this for the right reasons and that he new they would be okay when he was gone. He then wrote to the Possibles to thank them for putting up with him when he wasn't even there own son. And finally he wrote to Kim thanking her for caring the burden of their friendship. He wanted her to know that he was thankful that she keep the shared up just for him. And that he hoped she lived to her full potential, something that she could not do when he was around.
And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45
After the letters he headed down to his parents room to retrieve the device that would free him from this world of pain. Slowly he walked towards the closet and pulled down the lock box that held his escape. Taking the key from his pocket he carefully twisted it until a click was heard and the top unbuckled. He pulled the lid back reveling the weapon and freedom he wanted. He fingered it lightly feeling the cold metal against his skin and the hard grip of its handle. There was nothing stopping him now.
Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight
He ascended the stairs drawing closer to his decision with ever step he took. As he walked down the hall he passed picture after picture of family moments that he once shared. Before he could make it to his bedroom he passed one last picture, one of him and his family. The three of them were in it along with Kim. Yes Kim, she was asked to come along to by his parents. She had always been thought of as a member and this picture was just one of the things that proved it. With tears in his eyes he continued on to his room and his final destination.
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
There on his bed he sat thumbing the device that would end his suffering. Twinges of remorse and regret swelled inside of him as he sat there. Why this the right idea, was there another way? Could he be wrong, could there be another way to take away the pain that he felt inside? If he were to go forward with this would people actually miss him? Looking at the gun he pondered these thoughts and many others like it, but in the end he pulled the hammer back on the gun and slowly brought it up. As it travel up his body a signal thought came rushing through his mind, 'is there another way.'
Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe
"45" by Shinedown
Honestly I don't think this chapter was up to par with the others I wrote. Just something nagging me. Probably the fact that this was the hardest chapter I have ever had to write. It wasn't easy trying to get into that type of mind-frame. Not to mention this was the first time I ever tried to use a song with telling the story.
This is not the end, only the begging. In the next couple of chapters I think you will be able to see what my motives are for writing a story of this caliber. But for now you'll have to deal with this chapter. Lastly I want to say that anyone thinking about suicide should go immediately and get help. Just get help from somebody.
Until the good reviewing.
-Forgotten466-
