Author's Note: Hey guys! Well, I was gonna wait for a few more reviews before I posted the next chapter, but I decided to give it to you guys anyway since I have been getting such great reviews from all of you. So here's Chapter 3! This is NOT the last chapter! As always, please read and review!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. One Tree Hill and its characters are property of the WB.
Rating: PG to PG-13
When Everything Comes Crumbling Down
Chapter 3
Reflection
Haley's POV
I lay on my bed as I released another humongous batch of tears; Lucas and I had never fought like that before. As soon as the dreadful words left my mouth, I wanted to put them right back in and tape it shut. When I had seen Lucas on the front steps after I had opened the door, all logic had flown out the window and irrational thought kicked in. I was angry; no, I was pissed. And hurt. I was mad at Lucas for not wanting me the way I wanted him. I was mad at myself for pushing aside that nagging fear of rejection and taking the plunge into unknown territory. I had made a mistake in following my heart and not trusting my conscience.
I clutched Mr. Waffles, the bear Lucas and I had found at the playground when we were youngsters and claimed as ours, in my arms as I cried. I cried for my lost love, the best friend I no longer had, and for the long-lasting relationship I just ended.
I could still hear Lucas pounding on my front door and I pulled a pillow over my ears, shutting my eyes tightly, trying to block out the noise and his desperate attempts at making me reconsider my decision. I wanted so badly to take it back, but the damage had already been done and I stood by my choice. It would hurt too much to be around him and act in a friendly way when my heart wanted more. It would hurt too much to be friends with him knowing that he didn't want anything more than friendship.
I cried for hours on end until late into the night, only moving once or twice from my bed to use the bathroom. I cried for the loss of my best friend, the love of my life, my soul mate, the one who understood me better than anybody else. I cried for myself, for putting myself out there and risking the greatest thing I'd ever had in my life, which now lay burnt in ashes around my feet. I didn't have any strength to get up or do anything; I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I was a victim subject to the perils of the hell I'd created.
Around eleven, I had this sudden urgent feeling to go walking. I didn't really want to and I knew I looked horrible without even looking in the mirror. I knew my face would be red and puffy, swollen from the many tears I'd shed over not only the past few hours, but in the last two days since I told him of my true feelings. In the bathroom, I cupped some cold water into my hands and buried my face it, trying to cool the heat that had risen in my cheeks and forehead. I didn't even bother to brush my hair; it was windy out and it wasn't like anybody would be around to see it, everyone was probably inside, contentedly sleeping in their beds. I let out a satirical laugh; I would be in bed asleep right now just like the other people of Tree Hill if I had kept my mouth shut like my brain had told me.
I stepped out of the house and stood there, not knowing where to go, since I didn't really feel like walking in the first place. However, it seemed as though my feet took on a life of their own and began to move me forward. I seemed to move somewhat aimlessly through the dark town for awhile, not really having a set destination. I wandered by Karen's Café, my place of work, my home away from home, and the only home I had, had been with Lucas. Memories assaulted my mind as I stared into the establishment from the windows, remembering all the times we'd shared over the many years we'd been friends.
I remembered the first time he took me to meet his mom. We'd met at the playground near the rivercourt on a hot summer day when we were about seven years old. He'd taken me by the hand and led me along the sidewalks, telling me about himself and his life. He'd told me of his mother, his Uncle Keith, his dog, Rocket, and of course the Devil himself, his ass of a father that refused to acknowledge him. He'd mentioned Nathan briefly, but he didn't elaborate much on him and I guessed it was because he didn't know much about him; only that he was his younger half-brother.
When we stepped into the café, I was bombarded with a sense of comfort when Karen, Lucas' mother, greeted me with a warm smile and offered me an ice cream. I gratefully accepted for I was hot from the summer sun beating down on me while I played on the jungle gym and in the sand. That was the day Lucas and I became best friends; Luke and Hales, us against the world.
My mind jumped forward and I remembered countless nights spent in the café after hours talking while we drank coffee or sipped hot chocolate from steaming mugs. I missed those heart-to-heart talks and knew that now we would never be able to have ones as close as they used to be.
I remembered the night of Lucas' first game on the Tree Hill Ravens basketball team. I'd had to work, but Lucas game in after the game and told me of his success on the court and making the game-winning shot. I was so happy and excited for him that I jumped into his arms and hugged him. Immediately I was attacked by the mixed scents that were distinctly Lucas; the musky cologne, sweat, and the ever-present smell of Gatorade that he always drank during and after each game to rehydrate himself. I had closed my eyes and for a moment, I was in a fantasy world where we were more to each other than in reality, more than just friends.
Soon after, my feet brought me to the rivercourt and I was forced onto another trip down memory lane. The days where I'd sit on the picnic table and cheer Luke on as he played against Skills, Fergie, and Junk. I laughed as I remembered the many times Luke had tried to teach me how to make a basket and actually play the game once I made a few shots into the hoop successfully.
I suddenly heard movement behind me and I turned around seeing a shadowy figure approaching the rivercourt, ball in hand. I didn't have to look twice to know who it was; it was him. He looked surprised to see me here and he stopped in his tracks, staring at me with confusion in his cloudy blue eyes as he slowly pulled the ear phone pieces from his ears. "What are you doing here," he asked quietly. "I don't know. Why do you even care anyway," I responded bitterly. He sighed and leaned his head back a little then looked back at me, "Hales… don't be like this. We're best friends…" I abruptly cut him off, "No! We're not best friends, not anymore. I thought I made that clear earlier today."
"Why are you doing this," he whispered, his voice choked up with emotion, "how can you throw away over ten years of friendship with the snap of a finger?" "Because you don't love me," I replied, hate and anger spilling out of my mouth as I crossed my arms over my chest. "Hales… I do love you…" I mentally screamed at him. Didn't he know how hard this was for me? To hear him say he loves me but knowing that the farthest it would ever reach would only be friendship? To push him away from me when all I wanted to do was hold him in my arms and cry?
"Don't call me Hales, only my friends call me that," I retorted spitefully. "Haley, please…" he begged. "No, you just go ahead and run away to Charleston. There's nothing left keeping you here," I said coldly, as I glared at him angrily then quickly fled from the scene, unable to bear the sight of his crumbled, broken expression and the tears in his blue eyes. I had never regretted saying anything more in my life that what I had just said.
Lucas' POV
For the third time in two days, I stood there for several moments, paralyzed with shock. How could she say that? How could she say that there was nothing left for me here? She was my best friend! Of course I would have come back to visit her, but now… Was there really even a reason to? Now that our friendship lay in a heap of burning cinders at my feet and around my heart? Why couldn't she accept that we could at least be friends? I needed her in my life, but I guess I would be kind of selfish to have her be friends with me even though she wanted more, just because I needed her for her support and comfort when life got rough. Like right now.
I began to slowly trudge home as I longed for her arms around me, comforting me. I wished to hear those words she said so long ago. "You're a really good guy, and I'm glad we're friends," she had said. What had happened to them? Where had everything gone wrong? I wondered briefly if it had all begun with me joining the basketball team but I shook my head. No, she wanted me to pursue the team because she knew playing in the NBA is one of my dreams. Maybe it started that night of the team party at Dan's house when she brought cakes and saw Peyton and I kissing. After a few more minutes of unsuccessfully trying to sort my thoughts, I collapsed onto my bed.
Was there really nothing left for him here? Sure, there was his mom, but would anybody else really care if he left? Peyton and Brooke despised him, Haley hated him, he and Nathan hadn't really gotten along at first but were now communicating better, and he bet Dan would be dancing and singing merrily in his shoes once he found out. My thoughts turned back to Haley. Maybe going away for awhile wouldn't be so bad of an idea. Maybe if I gave Haley some time to cool off, she would eventually come around…
"Goodbye Haley," I said sadly into the empty air before slowly getting up to finish packing for the move to Charleston tomorrow.
