Author's Note: Hey guys! Okay, in light of Ali's VERY generous praise from her review, I decided to update again today and post Chapter 4! I have almost finished Chapter 5, which will be the LAST chapter. Can you say, "Awww!" LOL I'll miss this story and all the wonderful reviews, but I will be glad to have finished it finally. Anyways, I hope you guys like this chapter! As always, please read and review!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. One Tree Hill and its characters are property of the WB.
Rating: PG to PG-13
When Everything Comes Crumbling Down
Chapter 4
Moving On
Haley's POV
It has been two months since Lucas moved to Charleston with Keith. I haven't seen or talked to him since the day after I confessed my love to him. With each passing day, my heart breaks a little more from not being around him, talking to him and joking around, doing the stuff we used to do before everything was flushed down the toilet.
Karen is my only lifeline to Lucas now and I hear that he is coming to town for a visit this weekend. I later try to change my schedule so I would not have to work and see him, but Karen is adamant that I am especially needed because some convention is in town and there are sure to be a mountain of customers to be waited on.
Some part of me hopes that he has found the answers he's been searching for and has achieved his goal of getting back to the person he once was before joining the basketball team, but another part knows that he will never be the same person again because up until two months ago, I had been in Luke's life ever since kindergarten. How could you repair a life to a former state if you didn't have the main foundation of it anymore? We had been a staple in each other's lives for over a decade and that was what we had lived off of. It was just me and him for more than ten years; how could a life be rebuilt with ten years of your life missing?
Oh hell, he's here, early. I am diligently cleaning the counter when I hear the bell on the door ring to signal a customer has entered and I look up to see him walk through the café towards me. It looks as though Charleston has been good for him. His skin had taken on a darker tone and I noticed taut muscles beneath the tight shirt he wore. His eyes are the same ocean blue, only they seem more bright than the last time I saw them. Of course they would, the last time I saw him I told him that I didn't want to be friends anymore. That had to leave a mark on him; but he had hurt me even more than he ever thought possible, it was only fair that he experience even only a fraction of that torture. Well, you have to take it as well as you dish it out, I guess.
Lucas fidgeted uncomfortably as he stared at the floor, not meeting my eyes, "Hi Ha- Haley." I knew that he had almost called me by my nickname, Hales, and I yearned to hear it again. "Is my mom around," he asked as he glanced at anywhere and everywhere but me. In two months, those were the first words he spoke to me. I couldn't believe it; two months and no 'how are you?' or 'what have you been up to?' I wanted to scream at him, to ask him why he hadn't asked me these questions, but then I realized I had no right to do that; I was the one who had called off our friendship.
"She had to stop at home for a minute to grab some papers. She'll be back in a few minutes. Do you want some coffee," I asked, raising the pot from the warmer in offering. "Sure," he replied, suddenly finding the counter very interesting as he scratched his thumb against the polished wood. I poured him a cup and began to prepare it the way he always liked it; some cream and two sugars. It was then I realized that I had reverted back to my old ways where Lucas and I would sit in the café after closing and talk. He would sit on one of the stools as I prepared our coffee then we would talk for hours, sometimes late into the night, not noticing how much time had passed. Oh, how I missed those times. I missed those long talks we shared, when he would hold me as I cried, when he would softly kiss my forehead and murmur comforting words to me. I wanted him to hold me as I cried, kiss my forehead, and tell me it would be alright. I wanted him to tell me that he loved me; that he'd made a mistake, and that he'd come back for me, to me. But that was a wish and hope that would never come true.
I suddenly wanted to shake him senseless, to scream in his ear until he became deaf with my words the last he would ever hear. I wanted him to be sentenced to an eternity where he could ponder the answer to only one question. 'I loved you with my whole heart all my life Lucas. Why couldn't you love me back?' I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I was an emotional train wreck, so many feelings warring inside me for dominance. I sighed and collapsed back onto a stool, pressing a hand to my forehead. I could feel pain begin to radiate through it and I felt pressure behind my eyes, tears starting to well in them as I fought not to let them go; not in front of him. I didn't want him to see me so weak, how much he affected me by being there, by leaving me.
"Are you okay," Lucas inquired. I opened my eyes slightly, rubbing my forehead, and despite the nonchalance in his voice, there was genuine concern in his blue eyes. I felt myself begin to melt in those blue orbs but quickly recovered and steeled myself, trying to block out any emotion I had for him. "I'm fine," I replied sharply, beginning to wipe the counter with a towel. 'Don't look in his eyes, don't look at him at all. It will just hurt more,' I berated myself inside my head. I knew he had always cared for me, at least in the best friend, brother/sister type way but I wished that he would care for me as more than that. I wished that at least, just once, that he would look at me with the same gaze he stared at Peyton or Brooke with. For him to look at me with that loving smile, the same feelings as mine reflecting in his eyes. For him to kiss me, his lips pressed softly against mine, holding all the passion I had for him.
The bell above the door rang, signaling a customer entering and I looked up. A girl around my age entered with light brown hair, green eyes, and bright cherry red lips. She was wearing a pale yellow tank top and white jean shorts that barely went lower than mid-thigh. I thought she might go to Tree Hill High, but I didn't recognize her. The girl came up behind Lucas and wrapped her arms around his middle, kissing him lightly on the mouth, "Hey babe." Instantly, all the emotions I had fought to hold back came crashing back into my heart and mind. My eyes burned with anger and unshed tears as I watched this girl kiss my best friend, no, my former best friend, the love of my life. "Hey," he replied back, kissing her cheek. I knew that he didn't kiss her on the lips like she did him out of kindness or sympathy to me because he knew that I loved him. I allowed myself to think it was a little sweet that he still cared about me enough to spare me the pain of watching him exchange loving kisses and googly eyes with this girl, but only for a few mere seconds.
"Jess, this is Haley. Haley, this is Jessica," he introduced the two, moving his hand between us. Jessica offered her hand out to me and smiled, "Nice to meet you Haley. Lukie here has told me a lot about you." 'Lukie,' I said to myself in disgust, 'what the hell kind of name was that?' True, I had used to call him by that name, but that was when I was seven years old. The name just made me want to puke now. I made no effort to return the handshake and crossed my arms over my chest, responding coldly, "I'm sure he has." A flash of disappointment flashed in Jessica's eyes and let her hand drop to her side as she and Lucas shared a glance. I realized that Jessica was probably a really nice girl and I had no right to talk to her that way after just meeting her, but I was angry. She had taken him away from me; Charleston had taken him away from me; I had taken him away from me. By revealing my true feelings for him, I had pushed him away from me, giving him more reason to go to Charleston.
Lucas sensed the mounting tension between all three of them and the rage and resentment radiating off of Haley so he decided to diffuse the situation. "Haley, when Mom comes back, will you tell her that I will see her at home later? I promised Jess that I would show her around the town," he asked. I just simply stared at him, giving no gesture. "Well, it was nice seeing you Haley," he responded, giving me a tight smile. "Yeah, you too, jackass," I replied in an annoyed and irritated tone then muttered the last part under my breath. He turned and stared at me for a few seconds with a surprised expression then it turned to one of hurt, before leaving with Jessica. I stared at his retreating back in silent anger, tears burning behind my eyes, a similar expression on my face to the one I had watched him leave from the café that one day he had come in and tossed my hat on the counter, telling me that I had left it in Peyton's car, the car Nathan had been driving.
I stood there for several minutes, unmoving, until my emotions and thoughts I had suppressed came rushing back. I quickly told one of the other waitresses to cover for me then ran into the back storage room where I could be alone. I sank to the floor against a wall and curled my knees to my chest, sobbing into my jeans. The nerve of him! How could he just come back and flaunt his new girlfriend right in front of me? I knew he wasn't doing it out of spite or to hurt me, but it all tortured me just the same. I knew I wouldn't be able to continue my shift in this condition. I wiped my eyes and cheeks dry then made my way back to the counter, telling the waitress that I didn't feel well and would be taking the rest of the day off. Just as I was about to exit the café, Karen came in. Karen saw Haley's red, puffy eyes and knew she'd been crying. "Haley, what's wrong," she asked concernedly. I had never told her about what happened between Lucas and I, and I supposed that he hadn't either, probably too ashamed to tell his mother that he had broken his best friend's heart and thrown away what he and Haley had thought would be a life-long friendship. "I'm sorry, I don't feel well. I have to go," I replied quickly, brushing past her and out of the café, wanting to get as far away from that place as I could before I broke down again.
