Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ characters nor any of Michelle Branch's music.
Just something I wrote a month ago and I never published…I'm taking my midterm tomorrow….wish me luck!
Songfic with the song Goodbye to You by Michelle Branch.
Eternity
Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
At this moment she knew no fear. Six months ago she had thought that she was invincible, a Sayain prodigy who was the granddaughter of the strongest man alive. She knew she was a playful cocky teen always getting into trouble.
But six months ago a world she knew crumbled at her feet and her pulse and could be heard no more as those fateful, destructing words bounced into the far corners of her mind.
"You have six months."
How can one live in six months? An eternity to live in six months…
At seventeen years old Pan Son was dying a slow and painful death. She could only look at herself and the mirror and watch it kill off her body. A bystander in her own life and in the waiting room of death, Pan Son felt her own soul dying off from torture.
Only seven people knew about her secret. She wanted it that way. People shouldn't mourn the six months before, only after her grandmother and grandfather had gone to shrines with offerings. Her father went on a world wide search for a cure. Her mother stayed home and would cry in her room when she thought Pan was asleep. Pan couldn't cry though she would sit on her bed and write stories.
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
It was her last contribution to the world. Marron and Bra found out shortly after she did. Bra had bribed a doctor with money to know what was wrong. Bra and Marron cut school after that to be with Pan. They never told their parents. At home they would sit in their room and cry at night trying to melt the frozen pain in their heart away. At school they buried themselves in missed work and would barely meet the eyes of their classmates.
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
Six months had since passed and Pan's chemo had expectedly failed. Cancer now existed all over her body. Cancer? What did that mean anyway? She didn't know it could have happened to her like this. She would be plucked into the sky leaving a void in her friends and family's life.
Her hair was gone but she still wore a wig to hide the ugly shiny bald head she had. She was so happy her cancer didn't spread to her brain. She was still as sharp as a needle. It was no surprise to her when the doctor said, "Today's the day. It's your home and I would suggest inviting all the closest family and friends you have."
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
When the doctor left the room her parents and grandparents left as well. Bra, Marron , and Pan.
"So this is it." Marron commented. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes.
Bra was squeezing Pan's hand as hard as she could, fearing that Pan would leave right at that moment.
"Panny I love you so much!" Bra screamed as she cried and sobbed. Marron was about to cry with Bra too but Pan shot her a look. Marron knew she had to be strong to comfort Bra, because Pan could no longer do so with the minimal amount of strength she had left in her body.
"Bra," Pan rasped, "I'm still here and I'm not going to leave you for now."
Marron couldn't take it anymore and she yelled at Pan, "What about then or later Pan! What about in thirty seconds! Will you be there then!"
"Marron, I'll be here for awhile I promise. I'm not sure how the doctor concluded it was today. All the pain has blurred and it all feels the same. Pan cracked a small smile that made Bra sob even more.
Downstairs the door was slammed so hard it snapped of its hinges. Pan still had her Sayain hearing to know. Two males pounded their feet hard on the stairs. Her door burst open with two Sayain men breathing heavily.
"PAN!" Both of them screamed out.
"I'm dying not going deaf," Pan smiled at her uncle and friend. "Come in."
The men at the doorway stood up and walked over slowly, knowing that it was reality and not a nightmare. She saw their white faces. Both not knowing what to say so they just stood there. She saw the question in both of their eyes.
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
"I'm not sorry I didn't tell. It's better this way. I didn't want you to remember the last six months of my life. I wanted you to remember it to the fullest."
"Is this really fair to us!" Goten screamed almost shaking the house of its foundation. "Is this why you shut us out for six months!" Trunks didn't say anything he just looked away while his finger nails dug into the skin of his palm.
"You're my niece Pan! So why does everyone in the family get to know except me!"
"Goten," Pan's voice cracked and a glitter in her eye was full of humor for him, "look at it this way. You're cute when you're sad. When some hot girl comes up to you and asks what's wrong you can say 'my niece died unexpectedly.' And they'll give you so much sympathy and you'll have all these girls around you-." Pan coughed at the last part but it was only a short coughing spell. She thanked god it wasn't her normal long one. She wanted to savor these moments.
Goten's eyes filled with tears that spilled over and slowly when down his face. He laughed slightly but in a sad manner, "leave it to you Pan to be humorous in a moment like this."
"I got it from you," she smiled weakly. He went over to her and held her other hand. He squeezed it trying to hurt her.
"Gohan called me and told Trunks and I at work. We came as soon as we could Panny. Dammit Pan….I always thought you were going to bury me….not the other way around."
"Goten try not to think about it. I love you uncle. This is our last day together. I'm asking you to live on." Goten's tears cascaded down his face harder and his voice cracked as he said, "I'll try. Just for you."
Pan gave another assuring smile to her uncle and looked over at Trunks. For the first time she felt herself get teary- eyed just looking at him. It can't end this way with him. The now twenty- two year old was using his pride and the pain in his palm to fight away the tears she herself felt coming.
"Trunks," she rasped. He wouldn't even look at her. His head was turned to the side and his eyes were focused on the pink carpet of her room.
Bra started to get angry at her brother. This was his last day with Pan Son. The childhood friend and most recent girlfriend he had. He wouldn't even look at her while Pan was starting to deteriorate away from them.
"Trunks you bastard! Look at her! What the hell is wrong with you!" Bra screamed at him with more tears falling down her eyes. He looked up at Pan and the most pain the Pan could ever feel came. She saw his pain, heartbreak and suffering. He was a destroyed man, but it wasn't just now that tore his soul apart. It was something before. When tears threatened to spill Pan knew she had to do something
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
"Bra settle down. Let me talk to Trunks alone for a second. It wont be long." Pan said not taking her eyes away from him.
Bra was about to protest but Marron poked her arm, a body language of telling her to let them have their time.
"I love you Bra." Pan said while Bra kissed both of her cheeks and then her forehead. "I love you, Marron." Marron repeated what Bra did. "I love you, Uncle Goten." Goten kissed her nose just like he did when she was little and she was sick.
"I love you Pan." They all said together before leaving the room. Bra was the only one who looked back before closing the door. She knew it was the last time.
When the door closed Trunks let the tears overflow from his eyes like a great dam. "Why? I asked myself that question for months Pan. I wanted to know why you broke us off. Now I know and I still don't know why."
"I wanted you to remember the way I lived not the way I died." Pan still looked at him. He was sobbing now, he was a broken man.
"But I loved you! I still do!" He walked quickly over to her and held her hand just as Bra had. He kissed everyone of her fingers before looking back up at her.
"I love you more than life itself. You are everything to me. No matter where death takes me I will always be in love with you. You know you were my first, only, and last. You always will be."
"And here I thought I was supposed to be the one suffering the most these past months," He said losing his eyes in hers "I thought I was one of the living dead. Now I see you and-." He choked over his words at the last part.
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
His hand went to touch her cheek but he withdrew hesitant. Pan chuckled but that quickly went into another coughing fit. Trunks gave her water that was on her dresser. She swallowed a little and he set it down.
"My body may be jelly Trunks," she continued, "but my cheekbone wont break if you touch me."
Trunks immediately cupped her cheek and stroked it with his thumb. He looked into her eyes and found the same chocolate brown that was always there and she found the same sky blue in his.
Trunks laid on the bed beside her and put his head on the same pillow while his fingers intertwined hers. Looking deeply into her eyes he kissed her lips and said, "Things weren't supposed to be this way. We were supposed to be happy." He whispered against her cheek.
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
"I don't know about you," she said smiling at him, "but I'm perfectly content right here with you."
Trunks kissed her again with more tears coming down his cheek. She wanted badly to brushed them away with her finger tips but she couldn't move her hands. "Take me with you." He begged.
Droplets fell from her eyes but she still smiled, "No. I'm leaving you so you can live."
"You're leaving me to just let me rot here, which is until my heart gives out." Trunks said with gentle eyes caressing her own. She responded confused until he grabbed her hand and put it on his chest. Deep beats struggled to move through his body at an unsteady pace. Pan didn't think it would be possible for her face to get paler than it already was. Tears fell at the pace his heart was beating.
"I'm dying," He said flatly.
"But why-." Pan started but he cut her off.
"Don't you know? I can't live without you."
They were silent for awhile in her bed while she tried to let the information he just gave her sink in. He stroked her hair for awhile but then when he felt it wasn't the same silky texture that it was before he knew it was a wig. He pulled it off despite her protests and he silenced her with two fingers on her lips.
"You're beautiful no matter what Pan." Tears fell down Pan's face once again and Trunks kissed her tears away.
"Trunks." She addressed him.
He looked at her in an answer that he was paying attention.
She felt herself slip into darkness and her eye lids lowered. She smiled at him. He held her hands tighter. He began to feel himself slip as well.
"I'm ready." She said.
He nodded and held both of her hands and they fell beneath the black curtain. The candle that was flickering in her room next to her bed went out by death's hushed whisper. A shooting star passed in the sky. Nothing stood in the way now. They were truly now together forever.
And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
Trunks Vegeta Briefs and Pan Son
May 22, 2005
Beloved Family and Friends
Loved Forever Now That They're Together
Review Please.
