To End the Pain

By: Lost Flame

I hit hard against the fireplace. A pain shoot through me as my neck hit the mantle and my head jerked back. The moment the pain hit I let out a cry that I had been trying to hold in. Before the pain had even started to dim I was hit again. This time in the gut. I doubled over and slid to the floor. I looked up at the mirror image of me, careful not to make eye contact. The only differences between us are his hair is spikier, his eyes darker, and his attitude much more violent. And according to him, it was forbidden for me to make eye contact with him. Since disobedience meant pain I tried to following his rules. "Weakling," he spat as he punched me in the jaw, "how did I get stuck with you?" I know better than to speak so held my tongue.

The physical pain didn't hurt as much as one might think. Now don't get me wrong, he has become an expert at inflicting pain and his punches hurt, leaving me with bruises that took weeks to fade. That is why I always wear long sleeves and pants, even in the summer time. It didn't help that I had sensitive skin. You would think that my skin would have toughened up over the time I possessed the ring, but truth be told, my skin is still as fragile as ever. My friends might become worried if they saw the bruises, I believe they are already curious as to way I don't hang out with them too much, but some things can't be helped. If I did I would be beaten, or worse, Bakura may hurt one of them.

What hurts the most about the beatings is the fact that the one beating me is also the one I love. That's right, I love him. Bakura, my yami, my darker half. I don't now how it happened, it just did. I fell in love with the one who tortures me, beats me, and hates me. Too bad I can never tell him; not that he'd actually care.

All of a sudden the sense of hate faded and all was silent. I looked up, accidentally too far, and made eye contact. Before I avert my eyes I saw the last thing I expected to see. Guilt. Knowing I had caused it in some way made sadness build up inside me as well. But before my thoughts could wonder too far though, for the second time that night he surprise me. This time it would have been something I expected if it weren't for that second of guilt. This time he punched me, harder than anything earlier that night, and while I was catching my breath he left, walking out of the house not even bothering to shut the door behind him.

'Probably to go to a bar' I thought, half annoyed and half relieved. He has been leaving a lot at night lately and not coming home till well after midnight. I usually do my best to wait up for him, just to make sure he was alright but on rare occasions I am too exhausted to do so. He has never caught me yet, I don't think, my guess is he is either drunk or too wrapped up in thought to care.

Tonight was going to be different though. I had decided awhile back to end the pain, the hurt of love that could never be returned. Tonight will be that night. Everything was in order, I decided as I went through a mental list, checking off all that was done. I had written a letter to my yami the night before, and since he had just left he would be back till I was dead any ways. I wasn't scared. Bakura helped me overcome the fear of physical pain long ago, without knowing it.

I headed upstairs, shutting the front door as I went. When I reached my room I started digging through my desk looking for something. In about five minutes I found it. I held a pocket knife with 'May this help you end it quicker -Love Dad' written on one side. I knew what was meant by the word. I had received it as a present before a boy scoot trip. There was a tournament between the boys in my group planned at the end and my dad had hoped this would help me win. He would never guess that I would be using it now to end something else quicker instead.

I had been careful never to let Bakura see it. He would probably have taken it away and used it on me. Now I will save him the trouble and use it on myself. With the knife still in hand I walked to the bathroom. Not bothering to remove my clothes I got in and started the water, letting it wash over me, helping me relax. Again I went through my mental checklist. I had left the front door unlocked so Bakura could get back in; the note was on my bed next to the millennium ring. I had learned a long time ago that if a hikari died and was still in possession of their millennium item then the yami dies as well and I didn't want Bakura to die. I stated in the letter that the ring was now his and could whatever he wanted with it.

That was all right. There was nothing else to do. I opened the pocket knife to the largest blade. Making sure a mental block was up even thought I no longer had the ring on, better safe than sorry right; I lowered the blade until it just touched the skin. Then I pushed harder cutting the skin and watched as the blood went down the drain, diluted by the water. I began to feel dizzy and fell to my knees. Everything around me was losing focus. The last thought that crossed my mind as my world was thrown into darkness was 'I'm sorry... yami... I'm sorry.'


LF: Alright readers, please review. You guys are the ones that decide whether Ryou dies or lives. And don't think I would kill him. I have no problem with that. If you don't believe me look at my other stories.

Ryou: Please don't kill me......again.

LF: Tell them to review. -points to audience-

Ryou: -begs- Please please please. Review. I don't wanna die.