Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, because if I did Roy would not exist. XDDDD

WARNING: THERE MAY BE SOME MATERIAL NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN, NAMELY MUSHROOMS. ALSO, FOR THE ROY-OBSESSED, THIS IS NOT FOR YOU. TURN BACK.

Roy the Mushroom King

When Colonel Roy Mustang was fighting the Ishbal War, he got lost in the desert, and his troops abandoned him because he managed to steal all of their girlfriends.

So, Major Alex Louis Armstrong was assigned the duty of finding him, or at least his corpse. He searched for Roy for 10 years, and one day he found a lone mushroom in the desert.

He plucked it out of the sand, and like a turnip, the lost colonel's body came out with it. It seemed to Armstrong that the mushroom had grown out of Roy's head, and he was right.

Armstrong lifted up one of Roy's eyelids, waking Roy up from his long, long sleep. He said, "I am a mushroom. Eat me."

Freaked out, the Major then punched Roy in the head, trying to knock some sense into the delirious now-maniac. But this action only made Roy more mentally unstable.

"I am the king of mushrooms. MUSHROOMS SHALL RULE THE WORLD!" he said.

So, Colonel Roy Mustang got a mushroom costume (he claims he morphed into a mushroom). He hopped around as a mean of transportation, and every 5 seconds, he fell down. 5 years later, he broke his arm. 5 more years later, he broke his leg. 5 MORE years later, he fell down and never got up again...

A/N: Liked it? It was absolute nonsense, like I said. I thought this up when I was sleeping over at Sisi's house…EXTREMELY hyper I was .'' REVIEW! XDDD