He's been there three days, but waking up to the cool stone walls of the guest room was still a shock. It was a surprise that hit him twice each morning. First he would awake in a panic when he remembered that he was in fact not in his own bed in the Overland. After that, adrenaline would kick in to remind him that if he was in the Underland there must be danger nearby. But there was no danger. The first two days had been spent getting looked over by doctors. He had still been coughing up river water when they arrived in the city and Aurora's claws had cut deeper than he thought, not to mention the possible sprained ankle and various cuts he had accumulated in the days since he first left the city.

Lizzie had been by his side nearly constantly for the first two days, but when Hazard had shown up and asked if she wanted to go for a tour around the city Gregor insisted she go. He was mostly fine, and there was no need for her to sit around worrying about him. There was no reason for him to be sitting around either, except that Luxa had ordered him to not leave bed rest until he was fully healed. She was the queen after all and the doctors looking after him took their orders very seriously. He had had a few visitors, but mostly he had sat staring at the ceiling. There was to be a celebration the following night and between recounting the details of their trip and preparing, his friends had been too busy to do more than stop in. Howard had volunteered as part of the group escorting Carter out of the city and he had stayed in the farmlands to help smooth things over with Carter's family. Ripred had stopped by, slapping Gregor on the back hard enough to make him wince and staying only long enough to remind Gregor to request shrimp and cream sauce at the celebration.

Gregor sighed. He supposed he could try to sneak out while the doctors and guards were busy, but where would he go? He was sure to be spotted, and he was likely to just get in the way of the celebration preparations. He could try to go see Luxa, but he was reminded of how she had not been one of the few to come visit him.

Gregor falls back onto his pillows in frustration, but before he can think too much about it he hears an achingly familiar voice from the hall.

"Mom?" he asks, struggling out of the bed and toward the door. He peers into the hallway and there she is, his mom arguing with the doctor, his dad and Boots just behind her.

"Gregor," she gasps, rushing to his side and pulling him to her. He hadn't realized how much he missed her until that moment and he finally allowed himself to relax into her arms.

"Hey, kiddo," his dad says, joining hug and ruffling his hair. Boots alone stands apart, hands on hips and glaring at him.

"Excuse me," she demands, "how come when I do something bad I get yelled at?" She raises an eyebrow in childlike annoyance, but Gregor is so happy to see her that all he can do is laugh and pull her into a hug. "And how come you didn't take me with you," she demands, but her voice is muffled by her face pressed against his shirt. When he pulls away there are tears in her eyes that she wipes away with a furious pass of the back of her hand and Gregor pulls her back into another hug.

His mom is crying now too and Gregor leads them all into his temporary bedroom and away from the doctor who is beginning to look uncomfortable. Once a majority of the tears have been shed and more hugs given, he attempts to tell them what has happened since he left New York. The story is longer than he thought, but he tries to keep the violence to a minimum. Still with every new danger his mom gasps, and as he describes Lizzie surrounded by rats she begins crying anew. He's glad Lizzie isn't actually in the room for this retelling, though he's sure she will have a similar reunion when she gets back.

Gregor is glad to have his family there and it is nice that they agree, or rather insist, to stay in the palace until Gregor is fully healed. With the celebration just days away his mom gives into both his and Boot's begging to attend. In exchange he agrees to come home directly after and go to an Overland doctor as well. Gregor rolls his eyes, but doesn't say anything. It's getting late and an Underland serpent arrives at the door to take his family to their room.

"You're sure you're alright?" his mom asks, wringing her hands and shifting back and forth in the doorway. He can tell she doesn't want to leave, that even just down the hall is too far.

"Mom, I'm fine," he says once more. "The doctor said I would be able to leave the room tomorrow," Gregor had nearly wept with joy at the news, "we can meet up for breakfast."

His mom finally agrees and follows his dad and Boots down the hall. Gregor collapses into bed, drained, and falls asleep instantly.

As promised he joins his family for breakfast the next morning. His mom is waiting just outside his door discussing his condition with the doctor. He has to drag her away before she convinces the doctor that he actually needs more time to heal. He feels sore and he's sure he will have more than a few new scars, but overall he feels fine. He's so tired of being cooped up and kept away from the action, only getting the sanitized second hand updates on what's been happening around the palace. As they finish eating, Gregor directs his mother's worry over to Lizzie. It's a cruel trick, reminding her of Lizzie's kidnapping by giant rats, but he feels like he's suffocating and he needs some time to clear his head. He slips away mumbling a half formed excuse. His dad notices and gives him a wink. Gregor smiles before slipping out the door.

The celebration is that night and the palace is buzzing with excitement and anticipation. Decorations and food are being carried throughout the hallways and Gregor has to dodge trays as he makes his way towards the council room. He's surprised to see Luxa alone when he gets there. Amidst the chaos and excitement around them, the world seems to pause as their eyes meet. Gregor can hear his own heartbeat, the steady thump deafening despite the noise around them. It's almost like being in battle, his rager senses blocking out everything else except his target. But this is different. A warmth enters his body as she shoots him a small smile and instead of becoming numb to the world, it's as if everything around him has become covered in rose tinted glasses.

Luxa sets down the papers she had been looking at and makes her way towards him. He sees her nod to the guards posted in the hallway and the heavy doors are closed behind him, the room suddenly silent. Luxa has been scrubbed clean since the last time he saw her, hair shining across her shoulders. Gregor wants nothing more than to run his fingers through it. She's dressed in everyday clothes, light blue silk pants and top and slippers that pad softly across the stone floor as she reaches him.

There are things he needs to tell her, things he needs to ask her, but she presses a kiss to his lips before he has the change. She's quick and light and strong in equal measure, pulling his head down to meet her lips before he has a chance to react. Their last kiss had been full of adrenaline, exhaustion, fear, and helplessness. They had been drawn together despite everything. Both kisses were full of love, but this one was different. There was an energy that hadn't been there before. Energized, more than a little forceful, and possibly almost… playful? Gregor almost stumbles as their lips press together. But he had been thinking about this for the past three days, longer even, and it doesn't take long for him to respond. He pulls her closer, wraps his arms around her, and lets himself get lost in the warmth of her body and the sweet scent that surrounds her.

Gregor is losing track of time, of place, of what he had wanted to say. All that matters is her, but despite the light and love and joy he's feeling, he can't keep his thoughts from seeping back in. Luxa runs a hand down his arm, over the scratches he got during his fall from the boat, and suddenly his thoughts have turned. He pulls away from Luxa, stepping back, needing space to clear his head. Luxa is here with him, lips pink from where he had kissed her, but all he can think about is what Carter said on the boat.

Luxa reaches out to him as he pulls away. Her expression has turned to worry and Gregor has to look away. Some part of him had known what he was going to say to her, even if he hadn't wanted to admit it, and it was going to break her heart.

"What is wrong Gregor?" Her voice is as gentle as he's ever heard it and it makes his heart ache. "Are you sure you are properly healed? I can talk to the doctors. If something is not right-"

Gregor cuts her off with a shake of his head before she has a chance to yell at some poor doctor. "I'm fine," he says, "the doctors did a great job."

Luxa nods, looking unconvinced. "Then what's wrong?"

Gregor gathers his courage and meets her eye again. He thinks about what Carter said, how Luxa would forget him. "Why didn't you come visit me in the hospital?"

Luxa looks confused and Gregor can't remember if they use the word 'hospital' in the Underland. He's about to clarify, but she must figure it out because she crosses her arms and looks defensive. "There was a lot to do after we got back. I knew your family was with you and that I would see you in a few days. I inquired after your wellbeing and if anything had been seriously wrong I would have been there." Her voice begins rising at the end, defensiveness turning to anger.

Gregor shakes his head and reaches for her hand, holding it gently in his. "I'm not mad," he says, trying to keep his voice level. "It's just… you're just… I know you're busy and I'm not saying that stuff isn't important. And I'm not saying I'm more important. I'm just saying… I'm just me. And you're well, the Queen." His speech is rambling and unintelligible. He can tell the words don't make sense even as they leave his mouth. He had wanted to do this right so she would understand, but all he had accomplished was confusing himself.

Luxa's brow creases and she pulls her hand away from his. "You are important Gregor," she says, eyes narrowed. It sounds more like an accusation than reassurance. "I do not understand what you are trying to say."

"It's just that," Gregor sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "You're a queen, Luxa. You belong with a king or prince or duke or something. And I'm just… me. I'm shit at math, have no idea what my future is going to look like, and I can't even hold down a decent summer job. And you're… running a country! I just… I know you can do better. I don't want to hold you back."

An angry flush had made its way across Luxa's skin. She was scowling up at him and Gregor resisted the urge to step back. "Is this because I didn't visit you while you were recovering?" she demands, hands on hips.

"No, of course not! Well, yes, but no! It's just- Luxa a few days ago you were engaged to someone else. I mean he turned out to be an asshole, but there has to be someone out there that's better for you. You deserve so much more than, well, me." He reaches for her hand again, trying to make her understand how much it hurt him to say this, but knowing he needed to. "If I leave now you can go back to forgetting I ever existed and find someone that actually deserves you."

Luxa steps back, yanking her arm out of his grasp. "You are an idiot," she finally says, practically spitting in anger. "Do not tell me who I deserve or what I need. I have had enough of men trying to tell me how I should feel and who I should be with. If I say I wish to be with you then that is what I mean."

"Luxa," Gregor tries again. Words had never been his strong suit and he couldn't figure out how to get her to understand.

She shakes her head, eyes narrowed, and pushes past him as she heads to the door. "I will see you at the party."

Gregor spends the next few hours in a blur. He gets ready for the party, numb to everything around him. He dimly registers dressing in a dark blue silk shirt and pants, the Underland equivalent of evening wear, and making his way to the ballroom with his family. But his conversation with Luxa has consumed him. Was she right? Was he being stupid?

The thought of never seeing Luxa again was terrifying. Just the thought was breaking his heart. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her anymore than he could fathom living without his family. It makes sense now, why forgetting was preferable to the pain of losing her all those years ago. There's something so tragic about it all, being separated from his first love, on top of the violence and horrors he had seen, that his thirteen year old self just couldn't cope with. And now he was in the same place, faced with losing the woman he-

Did he love her? Was that insane? There was a duality to his feelings for her that he hadn't had time to explore between all the fighting. On one hand their relationship felt incredibly new. Even after regaining his memories, it still felt like they had just met. He had grown and she had grown and they were different people than the last time they had seen each other. But part of him, well, loved her. He loved watching Luxa, her confidence and kindness and strength that had only continued to grow. She was stunning in every sense of the word and he still got butterflies when they spoke, amazed that this beautiful woman would even look at him. It was as if they were two puzzle pieces that had changed shape, but they still fit perfectly together.

But they hadn't just met, they'd know each other since they were children. It's all there again, the memories locking back into place as if they'd never left. It was those memories that made his feelings so complicated. He could never feel the same way about anyone one else because of those memories; they made his relationship with Luxa deeper, and darker, and sweeter in equal measure. He could never have those same experiences with anyone else. They had shared the sweet rush of a first love, but also more horror and pain and sadness than he could ever begin to describe. They were linked irrevocably in more ways than one.

Gregor watches as Luxa rises to her feet at the head table. Dinner was nearly over, servants beginning to clear plates around him. Gregor had been lost in thought, and was incredibly embarrassed to realize he had been staring at Luxa for the past hour. He vaguely noticed his father nearly upending his wine glass before his gaze was pulled back to Luxa. She wore a lilac gown with delicate golden embroidery across the front. The color brought out her eyes, as did the crown that held back her hair as it fell behind her shoulders. She looked beautiful he thought as she raised a glass to make a toast.

"This feast is dedicated to our Warrior," Luxa's voice was clear and strong, and Gregor's heart began to pound as she finally returned his gaze. There was no trace of her previous anger in her eyes as she looked at him, nothing but confidence and warmth. "Gregor and his family have been friends of the Underland for many years and it has been our honor to help them in their time of need. Gregor, your family will always have a home in Regalia."

There were cheers as Luxa raised her glass for a toast and Gregor forced himself to look away from her as he felt the eyes of the other guests on him. The butterflies were back and it was a struggle to not run to her, especially after that speech. But it wasn't fair to her, not when he knew she could do so much better.

"You're laying it on pretty thick with the whole 'brooding hero' thing," came a voice behind him. "You're a bit young to have a dark secret you're hiding. And everyone here already knows about your mysterious past."

Ripred was there, exactly as Gregor remembered him, shrimp and cream sauce in hand and everything. Well not exactly: the fur around his nose had begun to turn white and his voice, while still mocking, lacked the harsh edge that Gregor expected. Gregor was taller too, bringing them closer to eye level.

"Ripred, how are you?" It was stupid, he could tell as he was saying it, and half expected the gnawer to laugh in his face. But Gregor was happy to see him. He didn't expect his own reaction, the warmth and relief that spread through him as he looked at his former mentor.

Ripped did laugh, loud and barking. Heads turned at the sudden noise. Even Luxa turned to glare at her bond, but quickly looked away as Gregor tried to meet her gaze.

"Geez kid," Ripred snorted with laughter as he watched the exchange. "If being a hero doesn't help you with the ladies, I'm not sure what will." He held out the plate of shrimp and Gregor took one with a sigh.

"Why didn't you come with us to save my sister?" Gregor asked, the question coming out more as an accusation in his rush to change to subject.

Ripred snorts again, shrimp sauce sloshing out of the bowl and landing with a plop between them. "Kid, do you know how much of my life I've spent trying to keep the peace between gnawers and humans?" Gregor looked skeptical as he continued. "Too much, is the correct answer. Forgive me for not jumping at the chance to do it again."

Gregor glared. Of course; Ripred only cared about himself, why had he expected any different. "Great, I'm glad you think so highly of us. I'll stop wasting your time," he said turning away.

"Kid, wait," Ripred said. He didn't bother to wipe the shrimp sauce from his fur but there was something close to an apology in his voice. "To be fair, it had more to do with that moron the queen was with. If I'd had to spend five minutes with the guy, I would've handed myself over to be captured."

Gregor exhaled slowly before turning back with a wry smile. "That's… fair," he said, remembering Ripred's brutal sense of humor, "the guy did try to kill me."

"And you get the girl," Ripred said, landing a solid punch to Gregor's shoulder. "A fair trade I'd say."

Gregor's smile dropped, flickering to the head table where Luxa had taken a seat. "Unless," Ripred continued, noticing Gregor's glance, "you've already messed that up again."

"She's a queen, Ripred. She deserves to be with someone amazing. I'm just a kid from New York and she's… perfect."

"I wouldn't go that far," Ripred scoffs, "and I hope you didn't tell her that." Gregor can feel his cheeks heat. "Sandwich, did you learn nothing in all those years topside? Listen, that kid," he says nodding towards Luxa, "has known nothing but loss since before either of us knew her. If for some god forsaken reason she wants you, don't question it. Accept it and try to make her happy for as long as she'll let you. If you make her happy and she makes you happy, then what else is there? Not that I have much experience in that field but so I've heard."

Gregor bit his lip, Ripred's words looping through his head. He was right. He had to trust Luxa to know what she wanted. Even if it made no sense to him - if she wanted to be with him, he should feel lucky, not push her away. "You're right," he said finally, grinning at Ripred, "I should go talk to her."

"Glad we got that cleared up," Ripred said, slapping him on the back. "Now stop being an idiot and get out of here. Your teenage hormones are making me sick."

Gregor smiled at the gnawer before beginning to weave through the crowd towards Luxa.

"Can I have this dance?" Luxa glares down at him from her seat at the raised table. For a moment Gregor can see her rejection in his mind's eye. Can imagine her dismissive refusal and the putting looks from those seated around her. Could already feel the humiliation coiling in his stomach. Because he couldn't blame her if she refused; he'd been an idiot.

So when she accepts, he blinks stupidly up at her. "What?"

"I said yes, I'll dance with you." There's no warmth to the words, but Gregor watches in awe as she stands and passes around the table. She walked down the raised platform with all of the grace of the queen she is, and Gregor has to snap his jaw up from where it had fallen open.

He tries to subtly wipe the sweat from his palms before he reaches her. There's a glimmer of amusement in her eyes that tells him she noticed. And it was alright - he would gladly play the fool a hundred times over if it meant making her happy.

The band begins their next song before Gregor can calm his beating heart. When he holds out a hand to her, he feels lightheaded and jittery, more so as she places her other hand on his shoulder pulling them together.

Gregor stumbles over his feet, unfamiliar with the steps and distracted by her closeness. Her waist is warm against his open palm, her eyes impossibly bright. She tugs on his hand and he doesn't mind when she takes the lead, directing him through the steps.

"I'm sorry," he says as they wind their way across the dance floor. He's given up trying to figure out the movements, letting her carry him along. Even just staring into her eyes was enough to make him lose his concentration, but he tried to make himself focus. "I was being an idiot and a jerk. I do want to be with you. More than anything. I guess I just don't get why you still want to be with me. After everything I put you through..."

He reminds himself not to look away though the urge was strong. He was liable to go sprawling across the floor if he lost his balance.

Luxa doesn't speak; instead she watches him, thoughtful. He can feel the edge of her spine under his fingers, her back straight and proud.

"You were wrong," she finally says, watching him carefully. "I never "forgot you ever existed,"" she says, the barest hint of a mocking smile tilting up the corner of her mouth. "I waited for you. For so long, Gregor. And when it was clear you would not return, I still hoped for your well-being." She sucks in a deep breath, the front of her dress breathing against his chest. "I thought a hundred times that it would be easier if I would forget you, that surely that would be less painful. I understand why you would choose to put the Underland behind you, and I do not blame you. If I had the same strength of mind, I likely would have done the same."

The tight knot of guilt in his chest throbs in both relief and pain. The familiar guilt of having disappeared so completely was still there. But her understanding, her recognition of his actions, was its own sweet catharsis that he hadn't known he needed.

"But," she continued, her hand squeezing his. The look in her eye was the same ferocity and confidence that he'd first seen in the arena the day they met. Her eyebrows raised and there was something hauntingly stern in her expression. "You're a fool, Gregor the Overlander, if you think the only reason I care about you is because of my romantic feelings for you."

Gregor knew he was gaping , but she was not done.

"Do you think I treat your position in my life lightly? Do you think I regard our past lightly? All that you have done for me and those I hold dear? My fondness for you is not some school yard crush. I hold you in great esteem, regardless of our personal relationship. And-" they had stopped dancing Gregor realized, watching her shrug, the moment far too casual for her elegant frame. "And you are my friend. You are one of few who know the real me. One of even less that knows what it was like during my childhood, during our quests. One of the only people who remembers the mice and the jungle and the pits. Who remembers Ares." Gregor feels his heart clench. "And Hamnet and my grandmother and Thalia." He watches her swallow thickly, "Henry."

The pain in her expression pulls at him until it's his own heart breaking. So much pain cloaking their time together. So much grief and blood and difficult decisions. But he knew what she meant, and he hated that it had taken so long to accept. The reason he had chosen to forget about the Underland, to put his memories on a shelf at the back of his mind, to ignore it all: it had been too painful to remember, and too painful to remember it all alone. His parents hadn't wanted to remember, and he hadn't wanted to put his grief and loss on the shoulders of his younger sisters. Shouldering it alone had seemed like the only option, until he realized he didn't have to shoulder it at all. Ignoring his feelings had worked for a time, Gregor was looking at someone who knew exactly what he was feeling, knew exactly what haunted his nightmares and broke his heart. Luxa had been there almost every step of the way. She was right - there were so few people who could truly understand.

"You are right," she said softly, all pretense of dancing gone as she gripped both his hands. "I am a queen. And you are not royal or wealthy or well connected." Gregor barely held back a snort as she smirked. "But that doesn't matter. Not to me. You are not perfect, Gregor, but you are invaluable to me. And you are loved. I - love you."

And then she smiled, her face lighting up from the inside, the tops of her cheeks turning pink and her eyes popping wide as if the words had surprised her too.

The world stopped spinning, the air sucked from his body as he took her in. Her eyes were shining up at him, the lilac hue warm in the candlelight. Her smile was electric, burning bright and just a little bit hesitant. There were a smattering of scars across her temple, her chin, her chest and Gregor wondered how many of them he had witnessed her receiving. They didn't detract from her beauty, rather highlighted it. Highlighted her bravery. The small white lines seemed to glow against her pale skin and Gregor found himself wanting to kiss each and every one.

He wanted to kiss her.

So he did.

Gregor leaned down, his lips pressing against hers, firm and warm. There was no room for hesitancy, not when it felt like he'd been waiting a lifetime for this moment. He felt her pop up on the balls of her feet, bringing them closer together and he couldn't help but grin into the kiss. Gregor brought his hands up to cup her face, his thumbs tracing the sharp curve of her cheekbones. His heart stuttered as she wrapped her arms around his back. It was impossible to wipe the smile from his face as they broke apart and he looked down at her, arms still wrapped around his middle. And why would he want to- he had never felt so truly and completely happy and he was not in a hurry to let that feeling go. He was done running from his past, done running from his feelings. Gregor was ready to start running towards his future.