Title: Like We're On The Moon, Baby
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MarciaChapter2: So glad you liked it! Hope this chapter gives you what you want ;)
Two days later - Wednesday - June
Blaine placed his headset with the others and went directly to his locker to get his things. Someone tried to stop him for chit-chat, but Blaine ignored it. He was so not in the mood.
Not even Dylan being out got his spirits up. Honestly, he could have done with hurling insults at someone at the moment.
He had to shut Cooper down the previous day and had been dodging him since. He absolutely didn't feel like talking about anything right now. He was still so hurt and mad he didn't know what to do. So many thoughts drifted through his head throughout the day.
Kurt hadn't called yet.
He didn't really want him to.
He really wanted him to.
He missed Kit.
He missed Kurt.
He wondered if they missed him.
He was so mad that Kurt thought he wasn't in this for the long run.
He kind of understood Kurt's point.
He kind of felt like he wasn't worth it. Like he didn't deserve Kurt's love.
Blaine rolled his eyes and refused to cry. This was stupid.
He had woken up the previous morning in a dark mood. Tina and Sam had attempted to tease him at breakfast, but he had snapped at them to leave him alone. Of course that led to questions he didn't have have the answers for and ended with them sandwiching him between them and comforting him.
Then of course they fucking called Cooper who met him at the door to his work with more questions and trying to be funny and Blaine almost screamed. After lunch, flowers were delivered to him from Kurt and it almost made him smile. Almost. The card was handwritten by Kurt and read: "I know you're still mad at me, but I'm still here. I'll call you soon!" There was a heart and his name.
It had softened him a little, but he wasn't done being upset yet. Cooper begged to read the card, but Blaine told him to leave it alone.
So now he was leaving work, trying to figure out if he wanted to go to the bar he worked at and drink his sorrows away or go home and plop straight into bed. He only made it to the parking lot before Cooper barred his way, arms crossed.
"We are having a chat, Squirt."
Blaine tried to step around him, but was blocked. "Not in the mood for this, Cooper. I just want to go home."
"I think you need to hear me out first."
Blaine shook his head. "I can't. I really can't right now."
"Look, I know you're upset, but you need to know something—"
"Yeah, I am upset!" Blaine yelled. A few other employees leaving for the day glanced his way before going about their business. "I'm probably going to lose the guy that I'm falling in love with because he doesn't trust me or believe in our relationship and he hasn't even called me yet! But you know what? I'm not going to give up. I'm not going to do anything drastic, so I need you and Tina and Sam to quit treating me like I'm so fragile! I get you guys care and I'm sorry I scared you before, but I'm allowed to get upset sometimes! It doesn't mean I'm depressed." Blaine was breathing heavy by the end of his tirade, but all that felt good to get out.
Cooper was studying him. He reached out for his brother, but didn't move. Reluctantly, Blaine went to him.
"I need you to hear me." Cooper wrapped Blaine up in a warm hug. "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. You know we just care and we get upset when you're sad. But we do need to stop worrying so much over you. I can never stop completely though. You're my baby brother and I love you."
"I love you too," Blaine mumbled into Cooper's shoulder. They stepped apart.
"Now, as far as Kurt's concerned, I talked to Brittany."
"Cooper…" Blaine said quietly. "Why the hell are you talking to his assistant?"
"We have an alliance, uh, I mean, we carpool. Never mind. The important thing is, I talked to her and she said Kurt is sick."
Blaine arched an eyebrow at Cooper. "Sick?"
"Yup. He and Kit came down with a virus or something and have been at home. That's probably why he hasn't called you."
Blaine waited for the punchline, but for once his brother was being completely serious. "You know this for a fact?"
"Brittany said he called and had to forward all his work to his email." Cooper shrugged. "She would know."
Blaine started to climb onto his bike, feigning disinterest, but inside he was worried about how Kurt and Kit were getting along. The poor child being sick made his heart ache. Even though he was mad, he still didn't want Kurt to suffer. "That sucks. Anyway—" He put on his helmet as Cooper slipped his hands into his pockets.
"Man, I bet Kurt's sooo tired." Cooper toed the asphalt with a pitying frown on his face. "Trying to take care of himself and the kid? It would probably be super nice if someone who's name starts with a B and ends with a Lainey brought him some soup and stuff. I bet he would appreciate it so much he would want to be your— I mean his boyfriend."
Blaine ignored him and revved the engine. He was not going over there. Cooper couldn't guilt him.
Kit was finally asleep. Kurt slumped miserably onto the couch, blankets and tissues exploding everywhere. His head pounded, his body ached, and his throat burned. Whatever had infected him and Kit could go to hell.
He was supposed to be talking to Blaine and getting all this stuff straight between them, but instead he was dying of exhaustion and this goddamn virus. After blowing his nose for the millionth time that day, Kurt planned his next move once he was well.
Yesterday:
He had figured that Blaine would still be too mad at him to talk, so he intended to send him some flowers to butter him up. He hadn't heard anything, but that was okay. Brittany tried to cheer him up the entire day, bringing him coffee and putting little sparkly stickers on every paper she gave him, but he still fretted.
Adam had passed by him in the hall as he went with Sebastian to lunch. The former smiled a little sadly at him and the latter smirked and mouthed, he's mine, bitch. Kurt just rolled his eyes and made way. He truly hoped things worked out for them. They both deserved to be happy. He had sighed and trudged back to his office, mind once again replaying the argument with Blaine. He honestly didn't understand how he had fucked it up so terribly, but he would fix it.
When had gotten back to his office, Brittany had already left for lunch and someone was waiting in his office.
Cooper Anderson smiled up at him as he came in and shut the door. Kurt didn't know him well enough to know if it was a friendly smile or a violent one.
"Hello, Cooper. How can I help you?"
"I think you know how you can help me."
Kurt sighed as he sat behind his desk. He noticed Cooper eyeing all his pictures, the newest one of him and Blaine. He picked that one up.
"I know Blaine is upset with me, but you have to know I want to be with him. He just misunderstood what I was trying to say, so I am giving him some space. I intend to fix things."
Cooper nodded and set the picture down. "He likes roses. And poppies. I'd start there." He smiled tightly. "He's stubborn, but he likes you. Just keep trying."
Kurt wasn't used to seeing Cooper so serious. He looked older and Kurt was reminded that this was the man who had always taken care of Blaine even before he should have had to. He had still been just a kid himself. Who had been there to take care of him?
"I intend to. I really care about him."
"Please don't hurt my brother, Kurt." Cooper smiled sadly up at him. "He's all I have and I can't lose him. I know… You have a brother. You understand."
Kurt's throat had burned and his eyes blurred. He just nodded, not needing words. Then Cooper had left and Kurt had sent Blaine flowers.
Unfortunately, the burning in his throat had only worsened as the day went on. By mid afternoon, Kurt was seriously considering leaving early since he felt awful. Then Marley had called him and informed him Kit was sick too.
It was a sleepless night with Kit miserable and crying, exhausted but unable to sleep because of how sick he was. When Mercedes and Santana heard they were sick, Mercedes volunteered to come help him. Santana volunteered an exorcist with how hoarse he sounded. However, Kurt knew they had shows coming up and he didn't want to risk them getting sick. He had bought medicine on the way home and could order food. He could handle this.
Except he couldn't handle this. His dad and Carole were supposed to come for a visit in a few days and now they would have to postpone. They had both been looking so forward to seeing them. He also couldn't get things straightened out with Blaine yet until he could think straight through the fog in his brain. It might make things worse. He just hoped that Blaine would still want to hear him out once he was feeling better.
For now, he would let himself rest. His eyes drifted closed and he started to slip into the sleep of the weary. He could clean the house and change into clothes with less stains later. His soup he ordered would be delivered soon, so he would rest until then.
There was a knock at the door. Kurt sat up bewildered as tissues fluttered to the floor. How long had he slept? It felt like no time at all. He waited a few seconds so the delivery person could leave the food and then went to the door. When he opened it, he was shocked that it was not a food delivery person, but Blaine Anderson at his door. His knees went weak and his heart pounded. How was it he looked even more gorgeous than he remembered? And it had only been a few days.
Kurt wanted to fall into his arms and kiss him silly, but he remembered three things: One, he was sick and didn't want Blaine to get it. Two, because he and Kit were sick, he looked like a haggard mess in his stained sweats and messy hair. And three, (possibly the most damning) Blaine was kind of mad at him at the moment.
"Blaine?" Kurt tried desperately to smooth down his hair and to ignore the gross clothes he wore.
Blaine wasn't exactly smiling, but he wasn't glaring at him like the last time they spoke. "You sound awful."
Kurt smiled dryly. "Thanks."
Blaine's eyes finally left his and slid to his clothes. "And you look like shit."
"Wow. Thanks. If this is your idea of cheering up someone sick, I must say it needs work." He leaned tiredly on his door frame. He couldn't help it. He hadn't slept in twenty-four hours.
Blaine frowned and he gently pushed Kurt inside.
"Hey!"
"Go lay down. You are about to fall over."
"The compliments just keep coming," Kurt said, but weakly allowed Blaine to lead him inside.
The biker was carrying a small duffel bag and his helmet which he placed on the small table next to the door. He set his bag down next to the couch and began digging through.
Kurt flopped back into his disgusting mess of tissues and pillows. "What are you doing here?" He rasped as he buried half his face in his arms.
Blaine didn't look at him. "I brought some tea that Tina's mom makes and swears it cures everything. And I'm going to help you with Kit so you can rest."
"You don't have to— You would do that even though—"
"I care about both of you." Blaine finally met his eyes, sharp and penetrating. "That's not going to change just because we aren't together."
A lump grew in Kurt's throat and he swallowed past the burn. "Thank you."
Blaine looked away again. "I'm staying the night. I called in for tomorrow. Don't look at me like that; it's fine. What you are going to do is go get a shower and go to bed. I'll take care of Kit if he wakes up."
"I have soup…"
Blaine gave him a confused look.
"On the way. I ordered soup."
Understanding dawned and he jerked his head towards Kurt's bedroom. "I'll get it. I'm sure you can warm it back up once you've rested."
"But… but Kit has medicine…"
"Okay, write it down."
"I don't want you to get sick…"
Blaine let lose an exasperated sigh and ran his fingers through his wild hair. "I don't care about that! Let me do this, Kurt. Please?"
He didn't have the strength to fight anymore, so after giving Blaine the information about the medication, Kurt just nodded and shuffled off to bed.
Thursday morning
The next thing Kurt knew was light on his face through his curtains. He woke and sat up, saliva puddled on his cheek and sheet marks pressed into his face. Once he realized it was late in the morning and he had slept through the previous evening and night, he jerked up with the intention of running to check on Kit. He was the worst parent ever and Kit was probably wasting away in his crib—
His head throbbing cut off his thoughts and he held a hand to his temple to ease the pain. His stomach lurched, threatening to empty if he didn't sit still for a few seconds. In that time, Kurt remembered that Blaine had come and told him he would take care of Kit. So hopefully he was doing okay with that. Kurt decided he would shower and change into something less disgusting and stained with questionable substances.
After he was freshly washed and dressed in clean clothes, Kurt stumbled downstairs. His stomach had started twisting uncomfortably since he hadn't really eaten the last few days, but his curiosity overrode his hunger as he searched the house for Blaine and Kit. He didn't have to look far.
Cheer up
'Cause nothing really matters
When you look up into outer space
It's a great big world and there's no need to cry
Cheer up
We're all interconnected
To the reaches of the galaxy
And my best friend says he came from the sky
He travelled to the Earth
Aboard a pink spaceship
It's hard for him to hide behind those eyes
Sitting cross-legged on the floor, Blaine was strumming his guitar and singing to Kit. The little boy was wrapped in his blanket and nibbling on a popsicle. He looked tired and a little flushed still, but Blaine's exaggerated singing and the silly faces he was making was causing him to grin.
Cheer up
The atoms in your body
Are as old as every dinosaur
Blaine screeched like a pterodactyl and Kit giggled, making a similar noise, but it dissolved into a cough. Before he could get upset, Blaine continued.
You're a special part of one big grand design
Cheer up
We're all in this together
To discover what we're living for
Thirteen billion years and there's still time
Every night, I wish upon the stars so bright
Waiting for the others to arrive
Cheer up
'Cause nothing really matters
When you look up into outer space
It's a great big world and there's no need to cry
Thirteen billion years and there's still time
He strummed his guitar rapidly and bowed as Kit clapped his little hands. Kurt's heart flipped in his chest as he watched the two of them be adorable. He also noted Blaine had cleaned up a little. Stepping forward, Kurt clapped, drawing the attention of the two in the living room. Kit squealed happily and reached for him. Kurt went to him and snuggled up to him on the couch.
Blaine had been putting his guitar into his case, but he turned to Kurt. He seemed unsure of what to do with his hands without the instrument as they brushed against his thighs and then slipped into his pockets. He toed the carpet.
"Hope the popsicle is okay. I made them out of that pedialyte stuff."
Kurt smiled from where Kit snuggled into his neck. "That's fine. Thank you so much."
Blaine shrugged. "It's fine. He seems to be feeling better. How about you?"
He opened his mouth to answer when his empty stomach made a noise like a creaking door. Kit giggled and Blaine smiled faintly.
"I'll go warm up that soup and fix you some tea."
He padded off into the kitchen and Kurt's stomach made another squelching sound. Kit went back to licking his popsicle and looking miserable. Kurt kissed his little head and snuggled him. Blaine brought him his soup and the tea which was fantastic and sang more songs to Kit. Kurt definitely noticed he was avoiding talking to him. After eating and showering, he was feeling a whole lot better and he though that night he would talk to Blaine before he left. It was time they cleared this up.
The day passed with the two of them napping and resting while Blaine took care of them. Kurt was seriously touched that he had done this and felt kind of bad that he ever doubted him.
That evening after Kit had been fed, bathed, sang to, and put to bed, Kurt joined Blaine in the living room. Blaine had cleaned up dinner and was playing his guitar, occasionally scribbling in his notebook. Kurt walked in quietly so he wouldn't disturb him, admiring the way his arms flexed as he played and how his shirt rode up just a little as he bent forward to write. His curls were shiny with water as he had just showered and they dripped a little on his shoulders. A little smile tugged the corner of his mouth up as he must have thought of something good because he began writing again. Love for him flooded Kurt's chest and made his stomach swoop. Wait. Love? Was he in love? He kind of thought he might at least be headed that way.
After smoothing down his shirt, Kurt went into the room and sat opposite Blaine. The singer glanced up, but immediately went back to his playing.
"He all settled?" Blaine's voice was low and careful.
Kurt bobbed his head once. "He is. He's feeling much better. As am I. And I can't thank you enough for coming to help. I just hope you don't catch whatever we had."
Blaine shrugged and kept playing. The melody was soft and a little playful. "It's fine. Like I said, I care about you both. Even if we aren't anything, that's not changing."
Kurt wanted to go to him, to kneel in front of him and sprinkle kisses all over him until he understood. But he needed to wait until they had talked this out. He didn't want Blaine to feel like he was trying to manipulate him.
"That's not true."
Blaine jerked his eyes up to Kurt's.
"We are… You were right—"
Blaine's cellphone ringing cut off Kurt's words. Glancing at the screen, he frowned regretfully. "It's the place I auditioned for…"
Kurt motioned to the phone. "No, go ahead! Answer!"
He was nervous for Blaine, hoping this was finally his break. Blaine put the phone to his ear.
"Hello? Yes. This is Blaine. Mhm. Mhm. Yes. Oh… I see. No, I understand. Thank you for the opportunity. Good bye."
Kurt's heart sunk with Blaine's face. It wasn't good news.
Blaine set his phone on the coffee table and stared at it, his expression blank. "I didn't get it."
They sat in silence for a few moments. Kurt leaned forward. "Hey, it was just one—"
Blaine held up a hand. When he looked up at Kurt, it was vulnerable and soft and a little misty. "Please, don't say all that. That's what my friends and Cooper say. Can we not say anything? Can you…" He swallowed. "Would you just hold me?"
Kurt nodded and immediately scooted over, allowing Blaine to drop down beside him. He bent to turn off the lamp, cloaking the room in darkness. Then he held the shorter man to his chest, one hand playing with his hair and the other wrapped tightly around him. Blaine rested his cheek on Kurt's neck and wrapped his own tattooed arms around Kurt's waist. Their legs intertwined comfortably. He couldn't be sure how long they laid there before soft, even breaths were puffed onto his neck. Sure, he had wanted to talk about things, but this moment was more important. Before he drifted off to sleep, Kurt thought that if he couldn't tell Blaine yet how much he cared, he could show him. He would hold him all night if that's what he wanted.
Friday morning
There was someone knocking on his bedroom door. Why would no one let him sleep? Blaine was sure it was Tina or Sam coming to tell him to get up and be a responsible adult. Or fucking Cooper trying to make him do something to prove he wasn't getting bad again.
Oh, maybe it was Kurt. There was a nice thought. Maybe Kurt was coming to slip under the covers all naked and horny and climb on top of him—
But then he remembered he was mad at Kurt. And kind of hurt. Then the last few days flooded back to him: Kit and Kurt being sick. Him taking care of them. Sneaking longing glances at Kurt when he wasn't paying attention. Going over the audition in his head again and again and hoping he had impressed the owners.
He was hot. Awareness trickled in and he realized he was snuggled deep in Kurt's arms on the couch. His left arm was asleep since it was tucked under Kurt's back and his back was a little sore from sleeping at an odd angle, but the peaceful contentment on Kurt's unconscious face was enough to stir butterflies in his gut. His mouth was slightly open and his hair was everywhere, but he had never looked more beautiful.
Oh yeah. His heart dropped to his feet. He hadn't gotten the job. He tried not to be upset, but he had given his all at the audition and still not been good enough. Then Kurt had held him all night.
Blaine was seriously thinking about kissing him when the knocking started again. It wasn't a dream then. He tried to crawl off of Kurt without waking him, but his knee bumped Kurt's and he inhaled sharply, slowly blinking awake.
"Huh?" He rubbed at his eyes. He cleared his sleep-rough voice. "Blaine?" He was staring up at him happily and it made Blaine's heart squeeze. "What are you—"
The knocking got more insistent and Kit started crying from down the hall. Kurt ran his fingers through his hair, eyes darting from the door to Kit's room.
Blaine shimmied off of Kurt the rest of the way and stood. "You go get him and I'll answer the door." He tried to smile back, but he only half his face got the memo.
He watched Kurt pad off to the bedrooms and then went to the door. A more insistent knock came. "Yeah, yeah. I'm coming."
He could honestly say he had never seen the people standing on the other side of the door, although they did look a little familiar. A middle-aged man and woman were standing there with suitcases and confused expressions. The man arched a brow at him.
"Uh, I think we are at the right address…" He pulled a wadded up piece of paper from his pocket and studied it. His ball cap bumped up as his fingers scratched at his scalp. "This is Kurt Hummel's residence, isn't it?"
"Maybe we have the wrong street," the woman said as she grasped his sleeve. "Call Kurt, honey."
Blaine looked from her to the man. "This is Kurt Hummel's house. Do you want me to go get—"
"Dad! Carole!" Kurt's surprised voice came over Blaine's shoulder. He stepped up next to Blaine while carrying Kit. "What are you doing here?"
Kurt's father looked at him like he was asking why the sky was blue. "You been begging us to come for a visit since you moved, haven't you? Can't I come see my own son and grandson?"
Kurt laughed as Kit perked up at the voice and started trying to get away from Kurt to his grandpa. It caused Blaine and Burt both to break out in a little soft smile as he reached for the boy.
"But we've been sick."
"We know, but we wanted to come," Carole said gently. "I think it will be fine."
"Do we get a hug?" Burt held his hands out for the squirming child, so Kurt let him down. The grandparents doted over him for a few moments, but Blaine noticed Burt eyeing him suspiciously. Kurt went too, embracing them and Blaine wondered what that must be like to have not only your own father love you, but a step mother too. Kurt had mentioned at one point his mother had died when he was younger. Carole and Finn had joined the family and it wasn't the easiest at first, but they had all grown close. He wondered what that was like too, having family he didn't chose for himself. Not having to rely on a brother to raise you and feel guilty that he had lost a lot of his youth looking after his kid brother.
His name being said caused Blaine to jerk his head up sharply.
"He's…" Kurt stared at him softly, but then remembered he was meant to be introducing him. He swiped his tongue across his bottom lip. "Um, he's been helping take care of us while we've been sick."
Burt let Kit hop into Carole's arms and extended his hand to Blaine. "Nice to meet you, son."
Carole smiled sweetly. "Thanks for looking after them. We both had work or we would have come earlier."
Blaine shook Burt's hand and nodded at Carole. He didn't miss the way Burt scanned him like he was trying to figure him out.
"Well, come in!" Kurt grabbed his dad's suitcase and went to get Carole's as well, but Blaine was quicker. They made eye contact for the briefest of moments, something passing between them. What that was, Blaine couldn't be sure, but Burt gave him another appraising once over as they entered the house.
They set the couple up in the guest room and Kit went with them, not letting his grandparents go so easily. Carole had oohed and ahhhed all the way through the house and made Kurt promise to show them the rest of it after they got settled.
Kurt shut their door, Kit's laughter causing him to grin a little. Blaine should have been happy for him and Kit, but he felt jealous of Kurt for having lovely parents and said parents for getting to stay with them. He wanted to stay and take care of them. Because when that was over, he wasn't sure what that meant for him and Kurt.
"Blaine?"
He was staring at his socks and rubbing his arm, wishing he could stop feeling like this. At his name, he looked up. Kurt was searching his face for something.
"What?"
He was frowning. "Do you feel okay? You don't think you're coming down with what we had do you?"
Blaine shook his head. "I feel fine. Just tired."
Kurt didn't seem like he believed him, but he let it go. He grabbed Blaine's hand and led him out to the kitchen. It surprised him, but he allowed it. Kurt looked like he was working himself up for something. Blaine didn't know if he could handle getting rejected again. He squeezed Kurt's hands so that he looked up at him.
"Just say it Kurt." Blaine steeled himself. It would hurt like a bitch, but he stood by what he did. He would do it all over again for them.
"I— I fucked up."
Blaine blinked. That was unexpected.
Kurt squeezed his hands back. "When we talked the other night, what I said wasn't wrong. I do need to be careful, but what I should have said was I need to be careful with your heart too. I let my fears control me and I hurt you in the process. This whole time you've just been trying to get closer to me, but I've been keeping you at arm's length because you scare me. The way you make me feel scares me. What I should have said the other night was that I care about you and I wanted to be with you." His voice cracked when he said he cared about him. Blaine kind of felt like this was happening to someone else. Kurt was saying all the things he had dreamed of and holy hell, he wanted to be with him. Blaine's throat had dried up. Kurt was watching him hopefully, his hands still clutching his own. He really wanted to just fall into Kurt's arms, but they really didn't have time to discuss everything. And he still didn't know if Kurt still thought he would leave them if he got a job. He wanted to ask him about that, but he heard his family down the hall and he was so conflicted. Kurt's face gradually fell, but he tried to hide it.
"Kurt… I don't…" he looked down at their joined hands. He didn't want to let go. Just a few days ago Kurt wasn't sure though. "I want to discuss this more but…" he glanced towards the guest room.
When Kurt replied, he sounded like he was trying not to cry. "Look, you don't have to answer right away. I'd appreciate if you thought about it, but I'm just letting you know my intentions. And I wanted to apologize." Swallowing thickly, he slowly let go of Blaine's hands. "Even if you don't want me… I know Kit means a lot to you and you can come see him sometimes. If you want." His arms wrapped around himself.
Blaine smiled at that. "That would be nice. I'll babysit. If Marley can't, I'll watch him."
Kurt tried to smile, but it didn't quite make it. "I would appreciate that. Why don't you come over Sunday after Dad and Carole leave and we can talk? Please?"
"Sure. I'll see you then."
Before they could have an awkward goodbye, Kit burst into the room dragging his grandparents after him. He ran to Blaine when he saw him, allowing him to swing the boy up into the air. He laughed and Blaine held his fist up. "I'll see you later, buddy. Okay?"
Kit bumped fists with him to the delight of everyone in the room, but poked his little lip out when Blaine set him down and gathered up his things.
"No, Towah! No bye, bye!"
"I'm sorry. I have to go to work. That's if I still have a job." He mumbled the last bit to himself.
"You're welcome to stay," Carole said as she attempted to soothe Kit.
Burt just watched him from one of Kurt's chairs.
"That's very nice, Mrs. Hummel, but I have to work. You enjoy your family time though." He knelt down in front of Kit who was seconds from exploding into tears. Blaine saw Kurt watching him from the corner of his eye. "I'll be back in a few days. Promise." He ruffled the boy's hair and quickly stood, not allowing himself to focus on Kurt. He had too much he needed to work out in his own heart before he allowed himself to be swayed. As he shut the door, Blaine heard Kit crying and he hurried away, ignoring the tear that threatened to slip down his face.
"Come on, sweetie. Let's go see your room!" Carole ushered Kit away, enthusiastically asking him about all his toys.
Kurt sunk into the second chair beside his father, weary physically and now emotionally. He had laid his feelings out there and wasn't sure now they would be reciprocated. He couldn't focus on that now, however. That would just lead to a breakdown and this wasn't the time. He rubbed his face tiredly.
"So, Carole seems to be doing better. That makes me happy."
Burt nodded carefully. "She's coping. I think getting her out of Ohio for a bit helped. She was very excited to come see you and Kit and the new house. She found a support group and that's been a huge help."
"That's great." Kurt looked out the window and saw her pushing Kit in his little swing. His tears seemed to have dried. "I'm happy for her."
"Why don't we talk about your situation?" Burt said, shifting indelicately. "Tell me about him. Blaine." He was wearing his Listening Parent face with a ghost of a smile.
Kurt exhaled loudly and covered his face with his hands. "Basically, I ended things with Adam because I knew it wasn't right. Then Blaine and I talked and I got a little insecure I suppose. in the moment, I thought I was being smart. He saw right through me though. He got upset and I gave him a day to cool off, but then we got sick. He… he came and cared for us… I didn't ask him to. I told him I wanted to be with him before he left, but…" He blinked away the tears. "I don't think he… It's just a mess."
Burt just listened as he usually did. They had their ups and downs in their relationship, but one thing he could always be counted on was to listen. Once Kurt finished, he waited until his son collected himself.
"Kit sure seems to like him."
Kurt only nodded.
Burt moved over in his seat and patted the arm, beckoning his son over. Kurt went easily and settled into his father's arms. It was awkward and not very comfortable, but Kurt needed it right now. He relaxed in Burt's hold and just breathed in home. He might be a grown man with a child, but he would always go to his dad.
Burt's voice was a soothing rumble in his ear. "Okay kiddo, so you apologized?"
Kurt nodded against him.
"You've put it out there, so it kind of sounds like it's up to him. I think you both just need to have a good talk and get everything out in the open. When your mother and I were newlyweds, we tried so hard not to hurt each other's feelings that we ended up doing it anyway because we didn't talk. You know how hard it is for me to talk. Just give him some time to think. If he says he wants to end things, then he ain't the one. There's plenty more out there. But I gotta say, the guy came and took care of both of you when he didn't have to? A guy doesn't do that for someone he doesn't care about. Give him time."
Kurt nodded again and snuggled deeper into Burt's chest. "I missed you, Dad. This is so much harder than I thought it would be."
It took a few moments for Burt to respond and when he did, he was a little choked up. "I missed you too, kid. I know it's hard, but you can do it. I'm proud of you."
It was silent after that. They didn't need to fill it with words when they had each other.
Sunday evening
Blaine knocked on Kurt's door with his stomach in knots and his hands sweating. Kurt's words were heavy on his mind.
Had he talked things over with Tina, Sam, and unfortunately Cooper? Yes. Had they been any help? No.
Okay, that wasn't exactly fair. They had tried. But the indecision came from himself. On one hand, he wanted to be with Kurt. It's what he wanted from fucking day one. He couldn't deny it's what he had wanted to hear. And Kit was just a bonus. All the time he had spent with the child had him so attached before he knew it was happening. He hoped Kurt really meant it and if they didn't work out, he could still see Kit.
On the other hand, did Kurt really trust him? He had been so hesitant and unsure a lot. What if he suddenly decided Blaine wasn't good enough? What if he took everything back? What if Blaine ended up disappointing him? Sometimes he felt so confident about them, about his talent, and about himself, but then he had moments where he got so down on himself that he felt like dying.
But he was here on Kurt's door step, unsure but there. He knocked and wiped his palms on his jeans. It wasn't too long before the door opened to a fresh-faced Kurt and Kit who was not quite as fresh-faced. He had something that looked like ketchup on his chin and crumbs in the corner of his mouth. God, it had only been like three days and he had missed them both so terribly. He wanted to kiss both of their faces off.
"Hi!" Kurt smiled brilliantly at him. Kit squealed happily and reached for him.
"Hey, buddy." Blaine took the child and tried not to grimace at the open-mouthed, slobbery kiss he planted on his cheek. "Did you have fun with your grandparents?"
"We did," Kurt answered as he leaned on the door frame. "It was so nice seeing them. Very much needed." He beckoned them inside and Blaine followed him. As soon as they were in the living room, Kit scrambled to get down to continue playing with his blocks that were spread out everywhere. He turned and Kurt was right there, eyes bright and hopeful. Blaine's heart pounded in his ears as he stared helplessly.
"Can… Can I kiss you?" Kurt asked almost shyly.
Blaine nodded.
Kurt moved slowly and Blaine held his breath a little. He pressed a closed-mouthed kiss to Blaine's lips and Blaine couldn't help but kiss him back. He wanted to deepen it, but Kit was right there and he still wasn't sure how they were doing this thing, so he just pulled back.
Kurt grinned a little bashfully and fretted with the hem of his shirt. "Um, have you eaten?"
Blaine cleared his throat. "I have. It looks like he just finished."
Kurt glanced at Kit. "Oh, damn. I forgot to wipe his face. Be right back!" He scurried off to retrieve a wipe and Blaine went to sit on the floor with Kit.
"'Sup dude. What are we building?"
Kit mumbled something Blaine felt like was about his structure, so Blaine nodded along even though he still didn't really understand anything the child was saying. "Cool. Looks really nice. Real sturdy."
It immediately fell over and Blaine waited for the tears, but they never came. He was kind of relived at that. He was too wound up already.
Kurt returned quickly with the wipe and cleaned off the child's face. He then proposed they watch a movie.
"Kit's been a little down since my dad and Carole left this morning, so I thought we could have some snacks and just relax." He tossed the used wipe in the garbage. "Sound good?"
Blaine nodded. "Sure. Need help?"
Kurt said he did and led Blaine into the kitchen. They could still still see Kit, but the boy was concentrating on his blocks. Kurt handed Blaine some popcorn to begin while he cut up some brownies he must have made earlier that day. Blaine watched him organize them all on a plate into a little pyramid.
"Are you okay?"
Kurt looked up at him. "Yeah, why?"
Blaine leaned his lower back against the counter and folded his arms. "I know you're close with your dad. Are you a little down too?"
The microwaved hummed in the background and a few kernels popped. Kurt looked up sadly and Blaine immediately wished he could take the words back.
"I am. That's part of why I wanted to do this. We just really miss them."
"Of course." Blaine aborted a move to go hug him. "That's got to suck."
Kurt went back to his brownies as the popcorn turned into fireworks in the microwave. "It does sometimes." Kurt put on a smile. "Anyway, let's get this going!"
They took their snacks into the living room and watched some kid movie Blaine hadn't heard of before, but it turned out pretty cute. Kit had his own little chair and Kurt sat next to Blaine on the couch. Despite the sad moment in the kitchen, they ended up having fun and laughing together. Blaine noticed how Kurt kept moving closer and closer to him. He smiled to himself. He couldn't resist him. He turned to tease Kurt about that, but Kurt was there so close to his face. Blaine smiled at him and Kurt's eyes slid down to his lips. Blaine started to move in closer when Kit laughed uproariously at something happening on the screen. It startled them both, but then they started laughing at him laughing. Blaine scooted away and pretended he didn't see the hurt look on Kurt's face. They really needed to talk first anyway.
They finished the movie and put Kit to bed, much to his protesting. However, he fell asleep rather quickly. He was so adorable in his sleep, Blaine thought. His little cheeks looked so squishy! He followed Kurt back out to the living room and prepared for the conversation he had been dreading the entire night.
"So…" Kurt picked up one of his throw pillows and toyed with a button on one side.
"So," Blaine replied as he sat across from him.
"Would you like to start or would you like for me to?"
Blaine shifted in his seat. "Let's start with how you feel."
Kurt looked confused. "I thought I told you how I feel." He leaned forward and rested his hand on top of Blaine's. "I want this. I want us. I just hope you understand that I do trust you. I just wanted to know what you planned on for the future when— not if— you get signed somewhere."
"I get that," Blaine said, trying not to get worked up. Kurt was just stating his truth. He had put a lot of thought into this and he wanted to try and see things from Kurt's perspective. "But I'm telling you, that's not a problem for me. I meant everything I said too, and I still mean it. I want to do this with you. But I can't if you don't believe in me."
"I do believe in you! Which is why I'm bringing this up!" Kurt sucked in a shuddering breath after his outburst and calmed himself before continuing. "I don't think you would just drop us when you get a job, but I'm saying I don't want to stand in your way. I have Kit now, so my priorities have changed, but I don't regret that because I have already accomplished a lot of what I've wanted. I don't want you to feel like you can't go after what you want because you have to think about us. It's not a bad thing, I just want you to really think about that."
He think he finally got what Kurt had been trying to say. It was still wrong, but he understood. "But there's not just one path, Kurt. And it's bold of you to assume that even if we don't work out, I won't be thinking of you and Kit all the time."
Kurt smiled tiredly and massaged his forehead. "Okay, I don't think we are going to agree on this." He rested his head on his hand, eyes grey with sadness. "Can we just agree we want to be together and we will figure things out as we go? I don't even know why we are fighting. Please, Blaine?"
He wanted to just say yes, but something held him back. Maybe it was stubbornness, maybe it was insecurity, but he needed to work it out in his head. He didn't just want to dismiss this. "I do want to be with you. So much. I guess I just need to think about this."
Kurt sighed, resigned. "I understand." He looked up hopefully at Blaine. "Will you stay tonight? Stay with me? I've missed you." There was hunger there, but also love. Blaine wanted to go to him, more than anything. Kurt's eyes softened at Blaine's hesitation. "We don't have to do anything… Unless you want to. But I just want to hold you. Please?" The way Kurt's voice cracked on the last word was similar to how Blaine's heart cracked. Why was he doing this? Kurt was trying so hard and he couldn't get over his pride. He knew he would just end up hurting Kurt.
"I want to, but I need to be by myself tonight." He couldn't look at Kurt. He couldn't stand to see how he hurt him. God, he sucked.
He finally braved a look up at Kurt's face and was taken aback by anger.
"Then let's talk more!" Kurt's fingers curls into his fists in his lap. "I want to fix this! I don't even understand what I did wrong... Don't give up."
"You didn't do anything wrong. It's… me." Blaine couldn't figure out how to make the words in his brain come out his mouth. He just knew if he could be alone for a while, he could say them.
"Now you're the one who's scared." Kurt's eyes were hard as ice, but his voice wobbled. "You are claiming that you want to be with me, but now you're pushing me away." He cupped his jaw. "You're enough, Blaine. I'm sorry if I haven't made you feel like you were, but you're enough."
Blaine's eyes immediately filled and he stood. He needed some time. He told Kurt as much when he blinked the tears away and found him watching him sadly.
"I'll call you tomorrow. I'm sorry, I just need to be alone."
Kurt just looked to the floor, shoulders slumped in defeat. He didn't get up as Blaine gathered his things, just continued to stare down. He walked Blaine to the door and flinched when Blaine pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. He couldn't resist.
"I'll call you," Blaine promised again.
Kurt just nodded sadly before shutting and locking his door. Blaine was going to go home, but he felt like a walk instead. He impulsively went right down the sidewalk, mentally going over what had been said. It was like pressing a bruise, painful but a strange relief as he tried to untangle the knots in his mind.
Kurt closed the door and let the tears fall. He felt he had said and done everything he could, but it still wasn't enough. He still had no idea why Blaine was so upset. Tonight had felt like they belonged together, the three of them together. He had hoped beyond hope that Blaine felt it too.
But Kurt guessed he didn't.
He trudged through his big, empty house completely heartbroken. Maybe if he had broken up with Adam sooner. Maybe if he hadn't worried about the future. Maybe if he had confessed his feelings sooner. But he couldn't help thinking things had happened as they were meant to.
After checking Kit was still fast asleep, he went to his own room and showered. He walked to his dresser to get his pajamas when he tripped over something in the floor. It was one Blaine's t-shirts he must have accidentally left behind. He broke again, scooping it up and holding it to his face so he could catch a trace of the man. He couldn't help but think this might be all he had left of Blaine. Maybe it was extremely pathetic, but he pulled the shirt on along with some sleep pants and went to bed. He could berate himself about it later.
He wasn't sure how long he was asleep, but it definitely didn't feel like long enough when he was woken up by his phone ringing. He slapped at his bedside table until he grasped the device and answered it blearily.
"Oh, were you asleep, sweetheart?"
"Yeah." Kurt scrubbed his eyes. They were scratchy. "What's wrong?"
"I'm at the door."
Kurt stumbled to his front door and opened it to Blaine in the exact same clothes he was wearing when he left. The wind ruffled his hair and he lowered his phone.
"Hey." He stared at Kurt softly.
Kurt yawned. "Did you forget something?"
"Yup." Blaine stepped forward, grabbed Kurt's face, and kissed him hard.
Completely stunned at first, Kurt stumbled back before returning the kiss enthusiastically. He clutched Blaine's arms and yanked him inside, locking the door behind them.
The kiss finally slowed unlike Kurt's heartbeat and they both pulled back, but kept ahold of each other. Blaine rested his forehead against Kurt's.
"I'm sorry. I just needed to clear my head. I want this too, Kurt. Can we try?"
"Absolutely," Kurt answered before sealing it with another kiss.
Yay! What do we think? It will pick right back up from here next week.
Songs used: Cheer Up! - A Great Big World
