I sat on the beach sweater wrapped around me, thinking deeply about why I was here as I watched the sunset, feeling free and happy before thinking about Shane his words to Cassie in my head, I smiled and cuddled into myself.
Elliott sat next to me startling me, I almost blushed at where my mind was.
"How is writing going, figure out the genre?" I asked to the pretty man.
"Romance, and it is alright." He looked at me. "Got any idea's?"
I smiled. "I was never good at romance."
"You know, same."
"Would make it harder to write?" I said sadly.
"Or will that make it better."
"I want to read a romance novel from a man, I will be the first to buy your book." I smiled. "Unless you write like, she stretched, her breasts heaving to the sky, she stood up as she titted downstairs her chest bouncing with every step."
He chuckled. "Actually, I want to put that in there, that was funny." He looked out. "Her behind was so large it knocked over a lamp as she turned in the small and strange place, bending over to pick it up as her small shorts rose up inside showing off all of her glory."
"His eye's could not leave as he moved forward, thirst for her growing." I said.
He started to laugh, it was a nice laugh. "Among other things." He said as he leaned back and just looked at the sky as we just laughed. "You should write a book."
"Ha." I chuckled. "That was all I had."
"Your here early." Abi spoke from behind us making us look backwards still lightly chuckling. "Hey Elliott." He gave her a friendly nod. "I am making her take a boat out at night, want to come?"
He signed and looked out into the waters. "Not big on boats." He stood up. "Have fun." He slowly walked off towards his cabin and she took his spot.
"He is the most prettiest man." She sighed.
"Yup." I smiled at her.
"So we need to find that light."
"This is making me nervous."
"We will be fine." She waved. "I always wanted to take a boat out at night and no one ever wants to come."
We floated in the deep waters alone as the sun fully set. When the engine was turned off it was the most silence I have never heard, a small sound of waves as it shifted us around, not a bug or a bird it was nothing.
"So where is this light we are looking for?"
She pointed to the middle of the lake.
"You sure it was not Willy or something?" She shrugged at my question.
We sat silently as I shifted lower in the small boat.
"I heard Sam talking about your friend."
"She was never my friend." I sighed.
"Good because he said she was hot but not worth it."
I gave a dark chuckle. "You know how many men have said that to me."
"He regret's it."
"We all been there." I sighed.
"Not me." She spoke quietly. "I have only ever been with Sabby."
"Be proud that is nothing to be ashamed of." I spoke back with a yawn.
"So about Shane, when, how and was it good?"
I chuckled. "Been doing it a lot since that night you left us the other day." I smiled softly looking at the waters ignoring the strong unblinking eye's on me. "And damn it is hot but I am lost if this is supposed to be a secret or what."
A small creepy smile crossed her face. "I love that." She looked out onto the empty black waters, the moon the only light out here. "He is, more friendly now."
"Ya." I smiled.
"I still like you with Sam." She sighed. "But." I gave her an annoyed look. "But." She laughed. "I think you may be good for him."
"I don't think I am." I said sadly she looked like she wanted to ask when I saw it. A small light floating in the middle of the lake. "Shit." I sat up making her look behind her and she moved so fast when she spotted it she almost knocked the boat over as I yelled at her to be careful and the light vanished.
"You saw that... you saw that." She was almost bouncing. "I was not crazy, you saw that."
"Ya." I said worried. "What was it?"
"I don't know." We shut up and stared but it never came back.
"Maybe something like a jellyfish, they lit up in the moonlight."
She started the engine and we headed that way with speed. So fast we were flying over small waves making me nervous as I gripped the seat. We then stopped and waited and listened and there was nothing.
I tried to look into the black waters wondering if there was something below us but I could not see a thing.
After ten minutes of silence we decided to go back to shore giving up.
We headed over the bridge in silence when I paused. "Hear that?" I asked her a little on edge making her stop and listen.
"Was that a giggle?" She stepped over the stone bridge following the sound. We paused at the edge of the bridge and looked towards the large bush. Suddenly someone jumped from inside it making me step back and trip, I grabbed the back of her vest and pulled her with me as two dark figures ran off.
"Ah." We yelled as we hit the ground, I caught the tail end of bush red hair as I sat up fast. Both shadows going in different directions and I knew what we just witnessed. I started to giggle.
"What was that?" She asked.
"Something I never tried before." I laughed back as she looked at me shocked.
"Wait. did we just catch someone, in a bush?" I nodded not getting up making her laugh. "Who was it?"
"Really you did not see?"
She shook her head. "Some bitch pulled me down."
"Sadly it is someone I know and can not out."
She got on her knees. "Who." Her eye's large in interest. "Come on." I just laughed. "Fine." She sighed sitting back on her ass. "I think I saw green, who wears green." She mumbled to herself. "George." I looked at her like she was being dumb. "Ya, that was stupid." She laughed. "Hmm." She looked at me. "It was Alex right?" I shook my head. "Ah, I never did that either."
"It seems, painful." I said standing up and feeling the leaf's on the bush. "Not as soft as it looks." She felt up the bush herself. "Good for them." I chuckled and headed off.
"Aw please." She yelled following me away.
I stepped onto the cold floor wrapping my arms around me, I picked up a sweater from the ground and shuffled into my living room where Shane lay asleep on my couch shoving my arms into the sleeves. The fireplace was empty and I may need to start using it soon. It was only a few day's into the fall month and yet I could start to feel it.
Shane was passed out with his shoes and coat on, covered in dirt, I tossed a blanket on him and moved to start the fire, the smell of beer was strong.
I made coffee quietly and peeked outside, it looked windy out there but I could see the ax on the porch and a cut down tree was dragged near the cabin.
He must have had a bad night, I did not hear him come in here.
I checked the time and it was around seven am, he needs to work. I slid under the blanket on top of him wrapping it around me and started kissing his neck, he made a noise and shifted under me. I smiled as I kissed his ear and he let out a little moan. His hands moved to my thighs making me smile and look up, he was looking at me with sleepy eye's as I kissed his lips, just short little kisses. "You need to work soon."
"Maybe I will crash here every night if you wake me like this." His hand ran through my hair softly as he looked at before he looked in my eye's and pulled me to him, we got our pants of pretty fast as he does not have much time.
I pulled up my pants before wrapping the blanket around me as he slid into his, yawning he gave me a kiss. "You all right?" I asked. He spent the night drunk chopping tree's he is still in a bad place.
"Sorry I came at like four, and I did not want to wake you."
"You can shower here if you want." He sniffed his shirt and shook his head, he needed clean clothes.
He came at me from behind his one hand around my waist and the other grabbing my chest as he hugged me, his head in my neck again, I actually love that and I just stood there with him for a minute leaning into him.
He let me go and headed out.
Once he left I leaned on my counter sipping my coffee and I got scared, my mind spiraling about all that can go wrong.
What are we?
Do I ask?
I started to pace with growing anxiety, what is this between us? I know it is more then a booty call.
Man I wish I had my punching bag.
I have such lust for him, I do find him funny in an angry way. He makes me feel safe when he is around something I never really had before. This is all new to me and I just don't know what to do but panic. I downed my coffee so fast I made a second cup.
"And 1/2 cup raspberries" I yawned as Abi and I tried to cook.
Caroline walked in and looked at us confused, I gave a smile at her and she seemed to hold back her dislike from me. "We are trying berry cobbler on our own." She was so happy her mother could not help but smile.
"I have a yoga class in a half an hour." She spoke up.
"You have yoga classes here?" I asked awkwardly.
"Ya she leads them." She smiled at me making me smile at Caroline but with her dislike for me I wont ask to join.
"Where did you get this recipe?" She asked us.
"The internet." Abigail spoke up with a smile, she shook her head.
"What have you put in so far?"
"We just are making the filling." Abi spoke up as Caroline pulled out her cook book and took over explaining how to make this right.
It actually got fun and Caroline seemed to not hate me for a while before we put it in the oven and we moved into her room, I sat behind the drums and tried it out, making an annoying noise.
"Ya that is not for you." She joked as she sat on her bed.
"Please." I banged again. "I am great."
"So amazing, you should do that in public."
I just laughed.
She picked up a flute. "I am better at this." I stopped as I listened to it.
I never cared much for flutes.
But there was something hauntingly beautiful at the way she played that. I was actually lost in it my mind filling with some bad moments in my life and then the tone changed making me feel all that is great, I don't know how long I listened but I was almost crying at the end.
She then opened her eyes and looked at me startled. "What are you a baby?"
I nodded and sniffled. "Shit women, that was amazing." I spoke awkwardly but she was so flattered about that she blushed and looked away, just to get over it I started to bang on the drums again. "But I am better." I yelled.
She leaned on her headboard. "I want to live like you."
I looked confused.
"Alone without rules."
I shrugged. "Honestly, I am starting to miss my mom, we were pretty close and it has been a while, sadly she will never come here."
"You should go visit her." I nodded. "Take me and Sab, he would love to go to the city, oh we can like make a day of it." She jumped up. "Sam can come and we can crash at your place for the night and just see the city, without parents."
I gave her a look, I liked that idea. "Just to lie to my mother." She looked in thought.
"Or just ask her."
She looked at me like I was crazy. "Please she would not let me just go." She yelled in a whisper, I don't know her well and she hates me, I don't think she likes my mom making me nod.
"Ya, lie." I said quietly. "I will find a date and we can figure it all out later."
"I wonder if Shane will come." She stepped closer and wiggled her eyebrows at me.
"I highly doubt that." I laughed out.
"Ya he hates us."
"Ah he hates everyone."
I was taking my time and gathering as much fall crop as I could handle and reasonably afford, Peirre was watching with a smile but he knows about as much as me when it comes to growing them. If Caroline get's her way I will lose this place, being able to sell my crop and candles and Abigail.
I am not sure what happened but I need to fix it.
It was a nice fall morning, the wind only slightly colder as I wrote down all the crops I bought, I made sure to get many that regrows from the same plant in shorter times.
Spending my day separating them and carefully putting them in the hoed ground.
I was filling up quiet an area, putting them all separately but man I liked getting my hands dirty and watering them. I called up my mom, hoping to have a real conversation about this town and her, I flopped on my couch even though I was kind of dirty and listened to her stories about asshole people cutting her off in traffic.
After a bit I brought up Peirre and she shut down, not long after she had to go and hung up making me sigh.
If my mom was with Abigail's dad, that would be so freaking crazy, I wonder if she liked him and he did not or something. She has said something along the lines of that scenario.
I need to ask her about a night in the city, give her some time and I will call her again.
I heard him, the truck to the loud chopping as tree's as I laid in my bed and listened sadly. I slowly slid up and put on my boots wrapping a robe around me and moved to make a small fire. I opened the door and turned off the lights to spot him in the yard.
The bright moon made him easy to see, I waited until he was done, he then dropped the ax and leaned his head on one not knowing I was watching. I walked inside to leave him alone for the moment, looking at him sadly and shut the door putting my current video game on.
Looking out the window he was just sitting on my steps so I opened the door and sat next to him.
I pulled him to me, the smell of beer was so strong and I rubbed above his ear, he shifted so his head rested on my chest, before he rubbed into them making me smile. "You bring me light, you make it stop." He moved up and kissed me a little messy.
Pulling my lower half towards him as he gave strange drunken beep and squished my boob before he fell forward so drunk and almost passed out. I stared at him shocked before I gave a small squeak at the stupidity that that was.
I lifted his head as he looked at me kind of lovingly sending a flutter through me and then a fear.
I helped him stand up and walked him into the cabin, heading towards my bed he started to walk on his own taking off his jacket and shirt, then dropped his pants he yelled as he fell into my bed and just passed out.
I was watching dumbfounded, it was so funny. "Shane?" I laughed before leaning on the wall I just stared at him sadly, I want to help him but there is more in there, stuff he never told me and maybe never really will, how can I get him to talk to someone, it helps so much.
He was not getting up so I covered him in the blanket, he works in the morning so I shoved his clothes in the wash as I was wide awake now.
Yawning playing a video game.
I smiled as I finally killed the boss that was giving me such trouble, I grabbed the stuff from the washing machine and hung them around my fireplace to dry.
I got far in the game when the sun came up.
"Why am I naked?" I looked at him with a tired smile, all he had on was his boxers and socks. "I don't remember, doing." He waved at me looking sad.
I shook my head. "You striped, yelled 'let's do this' and passed out."
"No." He sighed and grabbed his head. "That is horrible."
"I washed your clothes, you smell so bad, take a shower." I laughed out.
He just shuffled into the bathroom with a nod.
I just, I just want to run. I don't feel I am good for him and I don't think I can be a girlfriend. I am nothing but a break in his problems, far from a solution. This morning washing his clothes, I feel like a girlfriend. What am I to do, should I ask someone about these fears?
"You okay?" Abi asked me, I focused my eye's to her and then to Sab at the edge of the pool table.
"Huh?"
"You where staring into space."
"Ya." I said sadly.
"Everything going okay?" She asked worried as Sab just quietly watched. I knew what she was asking.
"Everything is, amazing." I said sadly confusing her. "Let's just play." I looked at the table for my next ball.
She looked at Sab seriously making him look back at her confused. "I am not the only one out of it." I mumbled. She walked forward grabbed his head and kissed him. I stood up straight with a curious smile as he kissed her back sweetly.
I looked to the left at the rest of the bar not noticing and back at them before he pulled away and looked around worried.
"There, I did it." She sounded proud looking around the pool table.
I looked at Sab who was looking down on her with kindness.
"About time." I said quietly making him chuckle and she smiled at me still proud.
"Guess we will see if that get's around." She spoke.
"Pam looks like she missed it." I looked over at her slouched on the bar. "Maybe do it again?" I laughed.
This time he grabbed her and just gave her a small plant on her lips and then we all looked over and she still did not see. We laughed.
"Well that was not so scary." Abi spoke.
"It was about time." Sab spoke making me happy for them.
I walked to the beach with Sam next to me as we strolled in silence, I watched him kick off his right shoe walk to it, slid it back on and kick it off again like a weird game of kick the rock. Passing the bridge he did it again but this time it went flying to the right over the bridge.
We both paused and looked over into the thin river the shoe lost in the fast water.
We just stared.
"Damn, that was new." He finally spoke as I looked down on his one socked foot.
"Um." I smiled.
He took off the other shoe and dangled it over the bridge.
"Don't" I said softly as I watched him drop it.
"There was no way to get it back."
"I guess."
He started to just walk in his shoeless feet towards the beach. He paused and took off his socks when we hit the sand. There was Abi waiting for us she wants to look for the light in the light and see if we can see it.
She just stared at the socks in his hand to his naked feet a little confused but never asked and just shook her head at Sam. "Let's go." She yelled turning away.
