All mistakes are mine... ❤️


12

Patience

o-O-o

"-and this is Darcie, she's nine." Dr. Lipton made a gesture towards the room and Edward trailed behind Naomi and Ben, the other student on rotation with them.

"Hi there, Darcie." Dr. Lipton smiled, stepping towards her bed.

Edward felt a pang in his chest as he stared at her. She was tiny–he'd have guessed maybe only four years old–if he didn't know from her chart that she was eight.

Darcie blushed as she stared at them, settling back into her pillows. Huge blue eyes peered out of a drawn face, her cheek bones sticking out, skin a slightly gray pallor. Edward glanced over at the table next to her and saw a picture of her with her parents. From the Mickey Mouse ears tucked into Darcie's platinum blonde hair in the photo, they were in Disneyland, and all three had huge smiles on their faces.

Edward felt a wrenching sensation in his chest as he glanced back over the little girl in the bed. She didn't have any hair anymore, and there wasn't even a hint of a smile at her lips, or any fullness or healthy colour in her cheeks.

"-and these guys are training to be doctors, so they can be just like me," Dr. Lipton said playfully, showing the girl his dimples.

Darcie hugged at her teddy bear, her lips curving up a little. "I want to be a doctor one day too." She widened her eyes when she saw Edward. "Wow."

Naomi tittered next to Edward and he stepped closer and knelt down next to the girl, smiling at her. "Hi Darcie, I'm Edward."

"You're pretty," Darcie said shyly, hugging her bear. "Do you want to meet Mr. Bubbles?"

Edward grinned at her, "Would I ever! But…am I special enough? He looks like a really special bear."

Darcie giggled, "He is a special bear, but he likes you."

Edward winked, "Lucky me! Hi, Mr. Bubbles," he reached out and shook the bear's hand with a solemn, 'how do you do?' and Darcie burst into laughter, filling the room with the happy sound.

He glanced up and Darcie's mom beamed at him from the chair, her honey brown eyes suddenly sparkling.

"Thank you," she mouthed.

Edward looked back down at Darcie and froze as he felt Dr. Lipton tap his shoulder. Had he fucked up again?

"Why don't you check Darcie and Mr. Bubbles breath sounds, Mr. Cullen?" Dr. Lipton said, winking at him.

Edward's eyes widened, and he swallowed, taking the stethoscope. Naomi gave him a thumbs up, grinning.

He stood up a little and asked Darcie to sit up for him. "Can you get Mr. Bubbles sitting up nicely for me too?" Edward asked her softly.

Darcie nodded, looking serious. "He's not feeling very well today."

"Oh no," Edward said gently, "What feels wrong?"

"His tummy hurts," Darcie said, pushing her bottom lip out a little, "and he feels a bit sick."

"I know just what he needs," Edward said, "but…well…"

Darcie tilted her head at him, "What?"

"Well..." Edward murmured, gently patting the bear. "There's some special medicine we can give Mr. Bubbles, but I think he might want you to take it too, just so he doesn't feel alone. Do you think that would be okay Darcie?"

Darcie nodded, "I think so."

"I'll see what I can do then." Edward smiled, "Deep breath for me, Princess."

"I'm not a Princess, you know," Darcie pointed out, after he'd finished taking the breath sounds for both her and Mr. Bubbles.

Edward frowned, "Well…you look like one to me. Sorry."

Darcie beamed at him. "Oh."

When they stepped out of the room Dr. Lipton pulled him aside and Edward's mouth went dry. He figured when she said the bear wasn't feeling well, she meant herself, but he'd kind of offered medication when he didn't have the right.

"Good job," Dr. Lipton said, giving him a slight grin. "I think you might be destined for Pedes."

Edward's eyes widened, "Wh-that was okay?"

Dr. Lipton rolled his eyes, smiling. "Yeah. Well done for noticing what she meant with the bear too, that's something kids do a lot – they don't like to admit they're not well and it helps them cope."

Edward was speechless. For the first time since he'd fucking moved, he'd done something right.

"Thanks, Doc," he grinned.

Dr. Lipton nodded, "Come on then, onto the next one – Miss Parker, let's see you take the lead here now Mr. Cullen has proven himself a Paedes whisperer."

"Show off," Naomi growled at him under her breath. Edward winked at her.

As Naomi started talking to the next patient, Dr. Lipton watching her carefully, Edward fought a smile. He felt like he was on cloud nine. All he wanted to do was go find Bella and tell her, but he was struggling to be around her right now.

Things between them had been kind of at a standstill the past two weeks, since she'd helped him, since she'd kissed him. Every time he got close his body seemed to just lose control, every single part of him itching to grab her, drag her somewhere and kiss her again, hear her whimper against his mouth like she'd done in the staff room.

It had been a different kiss from the elevator, that had been jealousy-fueled, angry, all the pent up desire from their time apart exploding out of them violently. This kiss was just as passionate, but it was deeper, softer, so filled with both of their emotions that he'd felt like his heart was fucking breaking and repairing all at once. Having her tight body pressed up against his, straddling his lap, her full breasts pressed against his chest as she'd moaned into his mouth, clutched at him like she was fucking dying. It had derailed him. The taste of her was fucking sinful, decadent, cloying on his tongue, sending his body reeling. He'd been so dizzy with her, he couldn't stop himself from muttering the words against her mouth that flooded his mind so strongly it hurt.

I love you.

Bella put up a good fight, pushed him away as hard as she could, but he could see it all over her face. How much she wanted him. How much she loved him. How hurt she still was.

He'd told her Alec was the better guy, and he'd meant it when he said it, but the way she looked at him after that kiss...she didn't love Alec, not like she loved Edward.

We're nothing. I don't care.

She'd spat both of those sentences at him, the words striking him harder than if she'd hit him.

She was still so angry, and he knew that she needed to just lay it all out in the open, scream at him, punish him for what he did to her, for what he did to them. If that's what she needed to fucking get over it, then he'd let her. He wanted to prove to her he'd changed, make her trust him again.

Right now the most he was hoping for was friendship, but his body didn't want to be her friend. His body wanted her naked underneath him, writhing as he gave her his cock, nice and deep, just the way she fucking liked it. He remembered how she sounded when he fucked her, remembered how her full tits looked, bouncing with his thrusts, remembered the taste of her pussy and the sounds she used to make when he drove his tongue inside of her.

It was a fucking war between his heart, his mind and his body.

Don't let her get away.

Let her be happy without you.

Fuck her until she's screaming she's yours.

Edward was losing his fucking mind, and so he was trying to keep his distance, letting her lead, letting her figure out her next steps. Being around her was so tempting, for both of them, and he didn't want her to cheat on her boyfriend with him again, didn't want to add her guilt to the other, intense emotions that consumed their connection.

He was here, if she wanted him. And whether that was as a friend, or more, Edward didn't care, he just needed to be in her life in some capacity.

o-O-o

"Ooh gimme," Naomi gasped, snatching the bag of cookies from Edward's hand.

Edward arched an eyebrow at her and then rolled his eyes at Sammie and Moss, sitting across from him.

"Dude, she's baking you cookies. You gotta fuck her now." Sammie teased, her blue eyes glinting as she tucked her bright red hair behind her ear.

"Shh, she'll hear," Moss chuckled, wrapping his arm around Sammie's shoulder, as he glanced to the back of the library where Evie was sitting with another girl from their course, Rachel.

Sammie sunk into Moss's large body and hummed, smirking at Edward. "So? Let her. It's obvious she wants Ed's dick. She looks at him like she's a lion and he's a wildebeest."

Naomi snorted, spraying cookie crumbs. "Watch out Ed, the girl's getting carnivorous for your cock."

Edward rolled his eyes as they all burst into laughter, "Yeah, yeah. Enjoy your fucking cookie, Nai. How do I tell her I'm not interested without being a dick? Normally at this point I'd just be blunt and tell her there's not a chance in hell, but...she's moved groups at the hospital and she's gonna be with us from tomorrow, I don't want it to be awkward."

"I know, I'm sure it'll be interesting," Naomi winked.

Edward acted like he didn't know what she was talking about. Naomi wasn't stupid, she knew something was going on with him and Bella. Still, he hadn't officially told her and she knew him well enough by now not to bring it up.

Sammie opened her text book yawning and Edward got out a sheet of paper and coloured pens. Moss frowned at him, scratching at his short, dark hair.

"The fuck are you doing?"

"A mind map, that alright with you, dick?" Edward asked, smirking.

Sammie giggled, "Oooh a mind map."

"Don't knock it until you try it." The mind maps were a fucking godsend. He'd never had trouble remembering things, but writing everything down like this, mixing topics together, allowed him to connect it all in his head.

"I did try it back in high school," Sammie said, yawning. "Doesn't work for me."

"I like them, don't use them much anymore but maybe I should again," Naomi hummed.

"Whatever works for you, 'aint it." Moss shrugged.

"How's it going fuckers?" Ash fell into the chair beside Edward. "Ooh cookies. Sick."

Naomi handed him the bag of cookies, grinning. "You look...dishevelled."

Edward glanced to Ash and smirked at the way his platinum hair stuck up on his head. "Workin' my way through the staff. Hey, that Tanya, you fucking her? Heard you took her out."

"Nah." Edward shook his head. "But she's way into a guy from Radiology, so I wouldn't bet on it man."

"Which guy?" Ash mumbled around a cookie. "He cute? I could do them both."

"Slut," Naomi coughed.

Ash winked at her. "You want in on the action Nai?"

"Excuse me, I'm going to throw up my cookie," Naomi grimaced.

Ash sniggered and Edward opened his mouth to join in on the banter, when Evie suddenly approached the table.

"Hey Evie," his friends chorused.

"Hi guys," Evie greeted, her large brown eyes meeting Edward's as she smiled shyly. "Hi, Ed."

"Hey," Edward said casually, holding her gaze for a second before he looked away. He felt someone kick his leg and narrowed his eyes at Sammie across the table. She smirked.

"You like the cookies, then?" Evie asked in a quiet voice.

Edward swore in his head. She was so fucking nice, he was trying to be a dick but it was hard. He looked up at her again and gave her a soft smile. "They're really good, thanks Evie."

Her cheeks grew pink and she gave him a large, bright smile. She was such a pretty girl, but his heart was fucking locked, chained up tight.

It belonged to Bella. Would always belong to Bella, just like her heart was his, even if she wished it wasn't.

"-service tomorrow, Ed?" Edward realized he wasn't listening to Evie and nodded at her.

"Yeah."

Sammie kicked him again and Evie flushed, grinning. "Okay, cool. Well...I'll see you guys later. I've got to go submit my paper."

"Later, shortie," Moss saluted her, his dark eyes glinting at Edward.

Once Evie had walked off, Edward's friends rounded on him. "What the fuck was that?"

"What?" Edward asked, taken aback.

"Were you even listening to her you fucking idiot?" Naomi asked him, shaking her head.

Edward grimaced, "Uh, no. What did I say yes to?"

"To having lunch with her, one-on-one on your shift tomorrow…" Sammie said, bursting into laughter.

Edward stared after Evie, horrified. "Shit. How do I get out of that?"

Ash winked. "Why? She's cute, a little desperate, but cute."

Edward shot him a look and Ash grinned, rocking back onto his chair legs.

Naomi slapped his arm. "You are such a dick. She'll be excited."

Edward groaned, putting his forehead to the table. Bella was going to go fucking ballistic when she saw how Evie was around him. He wouldn't care, he kind of liked how possessive she was, except it would probably result in them fighting or her kissing him again, and he didn't know if he had the strength to stop this time.

o-O-o

When Edward walked into the hospital the next morning, he was surprised to find Annabelle waiting by his locker.

"Hi?" Edward greeted, arching a brow at her.

Annabelle studied him for a second, then grabbed his arm and pulled him out into the hallway. Evie stared after him with wide-eyes as he passed her and Edward sighed. Fuck it, maybe she'd think he was sleeping with someone else and it would make her stop pining after him.

Edward frowned as Annabelle practically dragged him into an on-call room, shutting the door behind her.

He studied her curiously. "What are you doing?"

Annabelle sighed, putting her hands on her hips. "Look, Bella is being an idiot. I've said this to her face."

Surprise flickered in his belly for a moment, before he smirked, tilting his head at her, "And how did she take that?"

"Not well," Annabella laughed, her posture relaxing slightly. Edward fought a grin. Bella was so stubborn, he could easily imagine her facial expression when her friend said that to her.

"You're being an idiot too, by the way," Annabelle added.

Edward frowned, "What?"

"I know you're trying to be a good guy here, but you're making her even more confused. She loves you, she wants you, but she needs you to step up and make the effort to show her you want her too. She doesn't believe that you do, she's getting there, but…"

"What about her boyfriend?" Edward asked warily, crossing his arms.

Annabelle shrugged.

Edward studied her, frowning. "But wh-"

"Just man the fuck up, okay? You did a shitty thing, but you were eighteen. You think you're helping her by apologising, by talking about the past, but it's not the right method Edward. The past is the past, it doesn't fucking matter anymore. Show her who you are now, and show her that you're serious about her, make her stop thinking about the past too. Both of you need to get your heads out of your asses and just fucking be here, in the present. Lay it all out on the table and start over."

Edward couldn't help but grin. "Aren't you the beacon of fucking wisdom,"

Annabella snorted and he went silent, trying to process her words.

"I don't know if she can forgive me. I hurt her so badly." he said finally.

Annabelle sighed, crossing her arms. "You did. When I met her she was broken, and I think in some ways she never really got over it. But despite how much you hurt her, she still loves you, Edward." She rolled her eyes, "Believe it or not, I'm kind of rooting for you. I know you love her too, I can see that you do, and I believe you want to do right by her. That's why I'm telling you this, even though she'll kill me when I tell her that I did."

Edward sighed, running a hand through his hair, unsure of what to say.

"And Edward," Annabelle continued, "she has forgiven you. She's just scared. Scared to lose you twice, scared that she'll always love you more than you'll love her, scared to go through that heart-break again. If you show her that you're serious about her, if you stop trying to give her space and prove to her that you want her for real, she'll come around, I know she will."

Edward stepped backwards and sat down on the bed, feeling exhausted. "Fuck, I don't know how I fucked this up so badly."

Annabelle moved towards him and patted his shoulder. "We all fuck up."

"Thank you, Annabelle," Edward said gratefully, staring up at her.

Annabelle nodded, tilting her head at him. "Just so you know...if you do hurt her again. I will ruin your life."

Edward snorted, running a hand down his face.

"I'm not joking." Annabelle said sternly.

Edward smirked, "Yeah, I believe you. Don't worry Annabelle, if I hurt her again, I'll let you."


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