Chapter 20: Oh Mother, Where Art Thou? Part 2
(Last time on The Yellow Ape and the Black Bee, The Simpson family discovered the awful truth about Soul Society and alienated themselves from the Shinigami. Homer, still determined to find his Mother, left his family to search the impossibly vast Rukon District. Also, Nemu told Ikkaku she's pregnant with his child and Kisuke has returned after supposedly dying in a car wreck...wait? What?...Oh uh...s-scratch those last two things! For now, let's just focus on poor old Homer whom we last saw at Death's door...)
Homer wasn't sure how but he was back in his home on the couch with his family. Krusty the Clown was playing on the TV and within his thighs sat a bucket of drumsticks. After spending about two seconds wondering how he got here from the Rukongai, Homer jumped to the conclusion that his entire venture into Soul Society was one long nightmare and happily took a bite out of one of the drumsticks.
"We interrupt your pathetic attempt at escapism for some hard-hitting reality." Kent Brockman declared as he suddenly replaced Krusty on the screen. "The afterlife, or as it likes to be called, the Soul Society, has been proven to exist. It also has no system in place for reuniting loved ones so forget about seeing good ole Gram-Gram or Fido ever again."
Homer started to gag on the chicken bone in his mouth as Brockman continued.
"In a completely unrelated but still pretty depressing story, the entire Simpson family was found dead on their couch this morning. Police are still unable to locate a cause but given what we now know about the afterlife, I think it's safe to say that the family that dies together doesn't stay together."
The lights in the house suddenly went off and the ground began to shake. As the family watched in horror, a Senkaimon suddenly appeared from the floor in front of the TV. As it slid open, a strong vacuum began to suck Marge and the kids off the couch. Maggie grabbed Lisa's feet, Lisa grabbed Bart's and Bart grabbed his mother's to keep from being sucked in. Marge held onto Homer's hand, her grip loosening more and more by the second.
"Homie! Don't let go!" Marge pleaded.
"I'm trying to hold on but my hands are too greasy from the chicken!" Homer cried. He watched as his wife and children quite literally slipped through his fingers and into the Senkaimon. "I'll save you!" Homer jumped off the couch and toward the Senkaimon only to be pulled back with a clinking sound. He looked down at himself and gasped at the giant chain tethering him to the couch. He fell to the floor and looked back up in time to see the Senkaimon close and vanish. "Nooo! My family!"
Homer was suddenly seized with an awful pain coursing throughout his entire body and thrashed about on the floor. The chain came apart and a milky substance poured out from the hole in Homer's chest and onto his face, turning into an ape-like mask as the patriarch of the Simpson clan began to lose all sense of self.
"Grooooooowowwoooo!"
...
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Homer screamed as he shot up from the floor. It took him a few seconds to realize that the horrid visions he saw were nothing more than nightmares and once he did, he realized he was inside some sort of tent. A single, dirty brown blanket lay over his body which he saw was patched up by somewhat clean bandages. He tried to get up, only to feel a shooting pain in his back which forced him back down. "Doh! What fresh Hell have I gotten myself into this time?" He muttered. "Ok! Let's see. Last thing I remember was being chased by that slave guy's goons before falling down a cliff and meeting..."
A figure dressed in a black-hooded robe entered the tent.
"Death! Ahhhh!" Homer screamed at the being as they inched closer to him. "What do you want? What are you gonna do to me?" Homer felt a strange but welcome sensation in his nostrils and sniffed to get a better read on it. "Hey...is that...chicken?"
The being presented Homer with a bowl of stew, pieces of chicken and vegetables floating upon the broth. Homer forced himself back up again, fighting through his back pain and reached for the stew before stopping. "Hey...How do I know this isn't poisoned?" He asked the being in black. The being remained silent for a moment after which they raised their finger to answer. Before they could, however, Homer proclaimed, "Oh what the hell?" and snatched the bowl out of the being's hands, greedily gulping down the contents. Once he was finished, Homer set the bowl down and let out a delighted sigh as he rubbed his stomach. "Ahhh yeah! That was good!" He turned to the being in black. "For the Grim Reaper, you sure know how to cook."
The being giggled in an elderly feminine voice which caught Homer off guard. Not because it didn't expect such a voice to come out of the being before him but because it sounded familiar. "I glad you still enjoy my cooking after all these years," She said as she removed her hood. "But please don't call me the Grim Reaper."
Homer could not believe his eyes. "M...Mom?"
"That's better."
"You have to help us! My Homie's ran off to the Rukongai by himself!" Marge cried. After reading Homer's note, she and the kids left the white forest and approached the first Captain they could find, which happened to be Byakuya. On her insistence, another Captain's meeting was called with the Simpson family present. Most of the Captains were either relieved to see the Simpsons finally returning of their own volition while the rest were simply annoyed by having to attend yet another meeting on their behalf.
"That is impossible," Yamamoto replied. "I had Jidanbo keep a careful watch out for your family, Mrs. Simpson. If Homer had come anywhere close to the gate, he surely would have been spotted."
Mayuri tugged at his collar nervously, an action that didn't go unnoticed by Shunsui. "Captain Kurotsuchi, you sure look nervous today." He commented. "Is there something you'd like to share with the rest of us regarding this situation?"
Mayuri hesitated for a few moments before finally answering. "Grrr...fine! I lent Homer a cloak that allowed him to slip past Jidanbo undetected! He was supposed to bring his family along and perform a survey on the residents of the Rukongai but that selfish pile of flab tossed the cloaks and went on his merry way, prioritizing his search for his mother over the mission I assigned him! The nerve!"
"Don't play the victim here!" Marge shouted. "We need to find my husband!"
"Indeed." Yamamoto agreed. "Now that he is loose in the Rukongai district, Homer is especially vulnerable to the assassin. There's no telling when or where they may strike so we must act quickly." The Head Captain turned to Mayuri. "Do you still have the device you used to track Homer in the last meeting?"
"Of course I do!" Mayuri pulled the device in question out of his robes. "Although I will need at least a half-hour to fine-tune it to the Rukongai. After that, however, we should be able to pinpoint that idiot's location."
"Hold on!" Bart interrupted. "How can that do-dad find Home-Boy?"
"By using the tracking chips inside his body of course!" Mayuri answered proudly.
"You...have tracking chips inside of Homie?" Marge asked with a hint of disgust in her voice.
"Don't look at me like that!" Mayuri snapped. "It's your dim-witted husband's own damn fault that those tracking chips are in him in the first place!"
"How?" Marge asked.
"It happened the last time he visited my labs," Mayuri explained. "I left them out in a bowl and that imbecile ate them!"
Shinji giggled. "Classic Homer."
"Enough!" Yamamoto shouted. "While Captain Kurotsuchi pinpoints Homer's location, I will create a search party to bring him back to the Seireitei." He turned to Soifon. "Captain Soifon, you will lead the search party."
"Wha! But I-" Soifon sighed in defeat. "Yes, Head Captain."
"Please! Let me come too!" Marge begged. "He's my husband!"
Yamamoto pondered for a little bit. "Normally, such a request would be out of the question given that you are but a human." He began. "However, given the circumstances, I suppose it would help if you came along. Homer might be more inclined to return if you persuade him to do so. Therefore, I'll allow it."
"B-But Head Captain!" Soifon protested. "Marge is still just a human! She can't even perform flash-step!"
"Which is why she will be carried on the backs of one of the Captains," Yamamoto answered as he turned to Byakuya. "Can you carry out that task, Captain Kuchiki?"
Byakuya sighed. "If I must."
"In that case, I wanna come too!" Bart shouted. "I really wanna see how downtrodden the Rukongai can get!"
"Very well." Yamamoto agreed.
"Oh come on!" Soifon yelled.
"Well count me out!" Lisa blurted. "I don't want anything to do with you Shinigami!"
"But Lisa!" Marge spoke. "They're our only chance to find your father!"
"Why should we bother?" Lisa snapped, taking her mother and most of the Captains aback. "He's already made it perfectly clear that he cares more about Grandma than he does about us! Why else would he do something this stupid and selfish!? Well, I say, good riddance!"
Marge gasped. "L..Lisa..." Her lips trembled.
"Damn Lisa's madder than when I sold her Mailbu Stacy dolls to Milhouse for corn chips!" Bart commented.
Shinji approached the starfish-haired girl. "Ok. Ok...let's just calm down before we say something we can't take back." He bent down next to her. "I know you haven't been happy with us for the past few days but that's no reason to-
"Shut it, Dentures!" Lisa hissed.
"D-Dentures!?" Shinji nearly fell over.
"All of you Shinigami make me sick!" Lisa continued as she pointed her finger around. "I always thought that if there was an afterlife that it had to be better than my world but I guess I was wrong! Moral corruption and class division are just as rampant here as they are in the World of the Living! Is there no hope anywhere!?"
"Now Look here-" Soifon interfered only for Lisa to raise her voice even louder.
"No! You look here! Ever since you came into our lives, all you've done is shown us a world we would have been better off not knowing about!" She screamed. "When I first realized what you were, I actually felt hope in this afterlife! What a noble profession a Shinigami must be! Ha! What a joke! The truth is you're nothing more than a bunch of glorified hypocrites with magical swords! Hypocrites! Hypocrites! Hypocrites!"
The entire room, even Yamamoto, was too shocked to even respond to Lisa's outburst. Their shock only grew as said outburst gave way to tears. "It'll never get better." Lisa sobbed. "Either in this world or the next, it'll never get any better!" Weeping uncontrollably, Lisa fled the room.
"Well...that happened," Kensei commented after a minute or so of stunned silence.
"Oh Lisa, my guitar weeps for you!" Rose wiped a single tear from his eyes, the lyrics for another song already forming in his mind.
"My teeth don't really look like dentures do they..." Shinji asked. "Do they?"
"That poor child." Retsu sighed. "Perhaps she really was better off not knowing what lay on the other side."
"Tsk. It's of no interest to me whether she can handle the truth or not." Soifon hissed. "I have to prepare for the mission."
"Agreed." Yamamoto stated. "This meeting is now over! We will regroup in an hour once Captain Kurotsuchi has tracked down Homer."
Sajin remained silent as he watched the group disperse, replaying Lisa's outburst over and over again in his mind. Once again, he was reminded of his old friend Kaname and how his similar views led to his downfall.
"Bart! Go get Lisa!" Marge commanded. "Bring her back here!"
"How am I supposed to do that?" Bart asked. "You saw how she is! What am I even supposed to say to her!?"
"You're her brother!" Marge argued. "I'm sure you can think of something!"
"Excuse me." Both Marge and Bart turned their attention to the Captain of Squad 7 as he approached them. "I know I have no right to ask this, considering the situation, but would you allow me to talk to your daughter?"
Marge hesitated. Even after all this time in Soul Society, she was still unsure when it came to Captain Komamura. He didn't scare her per se. In fact, she mentally regarded him as weirdly cute although she would never say it out loud. It was just that she couldn't understand how he fit into the picture of Soul Society. Despite the vast information her family had learned during their stay here, pleasant or otherwise, no one had once bothered to explain just what Captain Komamura was and given her daughter's attitude toward racial sensitivity, she found it easier not to ask. At last, she managed to reply with "A-Are you sure? I don't think Lisa really wants to talk to a Shinigami right now."
"I understand," Sajin said. "It's just I had a friend who was a lot like her once. He too felt hate for the injustice running rampant through Soul Society. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have some insight into how someone like Lisa thinks and I think I can help her if you'd let me."
Marge murmured with uncertainty. "Lisa does love animals." She thought. "So if there's a chance she'll listen to any of the Shinigami, it's bound to be the giant talking wolf. Oh my gosh! I can never let her know I thought that!" Marge coughed into her hand and granted Sajin a curt nod. "Well alright. But to be honest, even I've never seen Lisa this angry before. I can't promise you'll be able to reason with her."
"I'll try my best," Sajin promised as he walked out of the Meeting Hall, leaving the Simpsons alone with Mayuri as he continued to fiddle with his device.
"Please do," Marge whispered as the watched the Squad 7 Captain vanish into the doorway. "And please succeed."
"What do you mean you lost him?" Toire screamed at his two guards as they cowered before his feet.
"Well...do you remember when you told us about those man-eating bushes?" The first guard asked fretfully. "He got ate by one of 'em!"
"Yeah! Ate him right up! We would have died too if we didn't remember your wise words, Lord Torie!"
Toire growled. "That was a joke, you damned imbeciles! Everyone knows there's no such thing as man-eating bushes! You let that fat yellow bastard escape over a stupid prank!"
"R-Really?" The two guards exchanged a glance. "B-But if that's the case, Lord Toire, wouldn't that make this your fault?"
"What was that!?" Toire shouted, causing his two henchmen to cower even more.
"Excuse me but I couldn't help but overhear your conversation." A female voice spoke out from behind the tent. All three men directed their attention toward the entrance as a hunchbacked woman wearing a lab coat slipped inside the tent. Her hair was green and done in twin tails while her golden eyes shimmered beneath her red-rimmed glasses. "Would this fat yellow bastard you spoke of earlier happen to have an overbite? Resemble a shaved ape more than a human being?"
"Maybe," Toire recomposed himself. "What's it to ya, freak?"
"My boss has his heart set on seeing this man dead see?" As the woman spoke, a strange device in the shape of a bird suddenly flew onto her shoulder. The light on its back was blinking green and the woman removed the device and looked into the light, she smiled. "And it would seem that my little pet has located him in District 80." She turned back to Toire and his men. "How would you gentlemen like to kill this man and get paid for it?"
Toire seemed taken aback by the offer if only for a moment. Then he grinned. "I'm listening."
"Ghhh...huh?" Homer found himself alone in the tent, the last thing he remembered being his excitement of seeing his mother again. "D'oh! It was just a dream! I didn't find Mom after all!"
"Of course you did!" Mona reentered the tent with another bowl of stew in her hands. "You were just so exhausted that you couldn't handle the excitement and passed out. I thought a few more hours of rest would do you good. "
"Oh Mom!" Homer happily wept as he pulled his mother into a great embrace, knocking the soup down in the process. This didn't matter to Mona as she returned the favor with an equal amount of tears. "I'm so happy I found you at last!"
"Oh Homer," Mona cried. "What on Earth happened to you? You're far too young to already be here!"
"Huh?" Homer quickly realized what it was his mother was trying to say and laughed. "Oh Mom! I'm not dead! Me and the family are just staying here until they find the assassin!"
"Assassin?" Mona asked. "What assassin?"
With great gusto, Homer relayed the past few month's events to his mother who listened with great interest. Normally, with such a complex story, Homer would falter halfway through and become confused, filling in what he could not remember with the utter nonsense of his inner mind. Being with his mother, however, gave Homer the clarity he needed to describe everything as it happened and Mona held on to every word.
"And so now, until they find the jerk who tried to have me killed, me and my family are staying in the Seireitei."
"Oh. Homer." Mona caressed her son's cheek. "You've been through so much."
"Enough about me!" Homer gently grabbed his mother's hand. "Tell me about you! How have you been?"
"Not too well to be honest," Mona responded. "After the nice Shinigami who konsoed me gave me a ticket, he left me here in District 80. There isn't much food aside from the wild chickens that we hunt in the forest and at night our tents blow away and we have to set them up again in the morning."
"Awww Mom." Homer moaned. "That sounds awful!"
"It's not all bad!" Mona suddenly chirped. "We do have great company here."
It was then at a red-haired woman poked her head out through the tent entrance. "Mona, is he up yet?" She asked.
"Indeed he is!" Mona beamed. "Homer, this is-
"Maude Flanders?" Homer asked as his eyes fell upon the woman's face. Sure enough, it was indeed the face of Ned Flanders's first wife.
"Hiya Homer!" She greeted him warmly. "How are ya feeling?"
"Ok...just a few broken bones here and there."
"I'm sorry if I'm being a nervous Nelly," Maude asked as she slipped into the tent, clad in a red tattered kimono that Homer found just the least bit tantalizing. "But how are my boys? And Neddy?"
"Oh they're fine!" Homer replied. "Ned shacked up with Bart's school teacher."
Maude gasped. "Neddy got remarried?"
"Oh-oh but she's dead now too...I think...they never really made it clear in our universe..."
Maude sighed. "I guess I can't blame Neddy for wanting a new mother for the boys. They'll need as much happiness in their lives as possible before coming here."
"Oh..." Homer groaned. "That's right! You were just as preachy as Ned was. This afterlife must really suck for you then huh?"
"I'll admit it wasn't what I think I had coming," Maude confessed. "But I'm still a woman of faith. I'm sure Ned will find a way to rationalize this once he gets here. I'm already making our new Church!" Maude opened the tent and beckoned Homer to come out with her. After a few grunts and strains, he was able to get up and left the tent with his mother. Standing on the opposite end of the village was a hut poorly made out of wood. Within this hut was some sort of mud statue Homer guessed was supposed to be Jesus. "It's a work in progress." Maude finished just as the mud shape fell over.
"Well good luck with that." Homer turned back to his mother. "Still it's so good to see you Mom! You have no idea how badly I wanted to talk to you since...well...you know..."
Uh ba uh!" Mona placed a finger on Homer's lips. "Not just yet! Even if you're only here temporarily, I still think this is cause for a celebration. We're going to hunt the biggest wild chickens we can find and cook up a huge feast in your honor!"
"For me?" Homer sniffled. "You don't have to!"
"I want to Homer!" Mona affirmed. "And after we've eaten, we can chat all night long. I'm sure there's a lot to say for the both of us!" Mona planted a kiss on Homer's cheek and walked with Maude toward the forest. Wiping a single tear from his eye, Homer pulled out the picture he had wanted to give her. Thankfully, it was still in good condition.
"There sure is Mom! There sure is!"
It didn't take Sajin long to track down Lisa. Despite being a human, she as well as the rest of her family gave off their own spiritual pressure and he had already made it a point to recognize each and every one. He found the little girl sitting in a tree, quietly crying to herself. After a moment's hesitation, Sajin approached the tree. "Lisa," He spoke loudly but calmly. "Can we talk?"
"Go away!" Lisa shouted. "I don't have anything to say to you hypocrites!" She continued to sniffle.
"I understand your frustration and I have no right to ask your forgiveness but I implore you to at least let me show you something!" Sajin pleaded.
"Show me something?" Lisa wiped her eyes. "What do you wanna show me? More examples of corruption?"
"I wish to show you my friend," Sajin replied. "More specifically, I wish to show you his final resting place."
The anger and sadness on Lisa's face gave way to simple confusion.
"I'm sure what I'm saying right now may not make a lot of sense but if you'll come with me, I think I can help you sort out these feelings of yours." Sajin offered. "What do you say?"
Lisa thought about it for a moment and sighed heavily. "Fine. If it'll give you off my back. But after this, you leave me alone!"
"Understood." Sajin watched as Lisa climbed down the tree and approached him, her sour look of contempt having returned to her face. The Squad 7 Captain led her to the hill where they had buried his friend and fellow Captain. It was a simple grave with only a single white stone as a marker. Sajin waited until he was sure Lisa had taken in the full sight of it before continuing.
"This is where we buried my friend. His name was Kaname Tosen and he held the rank of Squad 9 Captain before he died."
"So he was a fellow Captain then huh?" Lisa said in a voice and made no attempt to hide her disinterest. "Yeah. I think Captain Hirako mentioned him. What's the point of this? Am I supposed to feel bad for you now just because you lost a friend?! Get over yourself!"
Sajin did not reply nor did he need to. Lisa's eyes widened as the full scope of what she just said hit her like a truck. "Oh my God! What's...wrong with me? I-I'm sorry Captain Komamura! I..I didn't..."
To Lisa's surprise, Sajin simply smiled. "There's the Lisa I know. I knew you were hiding somewhere underneath all that anger and hurt."
Feeling a small pocket of shame form in her chest, Lisa turned away from the Squad 7 Captain. "I'm sorry about your friend. I know what it feels like to lose someone close to you. But that doesn't change the fact that your world, your system is corrupted and I can't forgive you nor your friend for that."
"That's quite alright," Sajin replied. "I understand and so would Kaname." He turned back to his friend's grave. "In fact, Kaname would have agreed with you wholeheartedly."
"Huh? Why?"
"You see," Sajin turned back to Lisa. "Despite being a Captain, Kaname hated the Soul Society."
Lisa gasped in response as Sajin turned back to the grave once again. "It took me far too long to realize this. By that time, he had already fallen under Aizen's control and had lost himself completely. He had even given up his Bankai so that he could gain the powers of a Hollow. All that so that he could bring justice to a world that had taken his old friend away."
Lisa felt as if she knew where this was going and her anger started to return. "What are you trying to say? That I shouldn't try to change the way things are because that's evil and I'll end up like Kaname?"
"In a way, yes," Sajin admitted. "Kaname wanted justice more than anything else and that desire led him to follow Aizen and eventually, to his own demise." Sajin sharply turned back to Lisa. "But I am not condemning your desire for justice!"
Lisa felt her anger ebb a little as Sajin continued.
"What Kaname wanted more than anything was a world where the injustices that took his friend away did not exist. It's understandable that he hated this world as you do but it led him to a dark and lonely path of self-destruction. In the end, he let hate guide him instead of justice. Do you see what I am saying Lisa?"
"I...I think I do..." Lisa turned to the grave herself. "Your saying my hatred for the unfairness of Soul Society is justified but if I let it consume me, I'll lose sight of what's important like Kaname.."
"I wish there were more people like you and Kaname in Soul Society." Sajin continued. "Perhaps then, this world would finally be the resting place for the deceased it should be." He finished with a warm smile that banished any thoughts of darkness Lisa still had within her. Her hate was still strong, however, and after reflecting on it and what Sajin had just told her for a minute or so, she came to a decision.
"Alright. I've decided." Lisa sharply turned to Sajin and pressed her fist against her chest. "I'll play the game for now! When I die, I'll swallow my pride, become a Shinigami and do what I have to in order to rise through the ranks. But my goal will always be clear! I'll change Soul Society from the inside! I'll create a system to reunite the dead with their families! I'll improve the quality of life within the Rukongai! I'll find others with the same ambitions to help me and if anyone tries to oppose us, we'll fight tooth and nail to keep them at bay! It might take me 100, 1000, or even 100,000 years but mark my words, I, Lisa Simpson, will fix Soul Society!"
Sajin was taken aback by Lisa's speech and this did not go unnoticed by the middle Simpsons child who blushed as what she said dawned on her yet again. "Um...wow!" He shuffled her feet awkwardly while scratching the back of her head. "I really just said all that out in the open huh?...eh heh...I'm so embarrassed..."
Sajin smiled and shook his head. "Don't be. That declaration came straight from your heart and your convictions. Hold on to those words for the rest of your life and after. I can only hope that I am still on active duty by the time you join our ranks. If I have that privilege, I will be more than willing to help you in your endeavors."
Lisa brightened. "R-Really!?"
Sajin nodded. "You have a kind heart that weeps at the suffering of others. There are some here that would call that a weakness but I only see strength. Strength that may very well someday change this world for the better." Sajin looked up into the sky, noting how the Sun was rising behind the clouds. "But for now, let's focus on getting your Father back to safety. I'm sure by now, Captain Kurotsuchi has tracked him down."
"Yeah." Lisa rubbed the back of her head again. "Plus I really owe Mom an apology."
"I'll accompany you." Lisa and Sajin began to walk back to the Meeting Hall, with the latter stopping to take one final look at his friend's grave. "It would seem your plight for justice lives on, Kaname." He thought as turned back to Lisa. "I sincerely hope you can succeed where Kaname failed, Lisa Simpson. I know the road to peace will be hard and at times you will feel nothing but hatred for the world you wish to change but never let it blind you. As long as you remain resolute in your goals, nothing will stand in your way."
As the two walked away from the grave, a single white butterfly landed on the marker.
It was evening by the time the great feast began although to call it a great feast would be generous. Bowls upon bowls of chicken stew lined the single table in the middle of the village and everyone gathered to take one. As Homer helped himself to three, he noticed a familiar man with glasses and a maroon kimono slurping up stew by himself. "Hey," Homer slurred as he approached the man. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"
"Not unless you've been to the Jazz section of a music store," The man replied. "The name's Bleeding Gums Murphy!"
"Hey! You're that guy my daughter always talks about!" Homer yelled. "Or was that Mr. Bregstrom?"
"Your little Lisa's father?" Murphy smiled. "How's she doing?"
"She's fine. Still playing that saxomphone every dammned day!" Homer burst into laughter and expected Murphy to join in but the jazzman simply smiled.
"Still rocking her sax. That's Lisa for ya."
"So ummm...how are things with you?" Homer asked uneasily. "Do you still play?"
"Not really on account of not having a sax to play out here." Murphy pulled out a small stick that had been hollowed out. It still had some moss growing on it. "Most I got is this little flute I made." Murphy tried to blow into it only for the whole thing to fall apart. "Dammit!" He turned back to Homer. "The worst part is, all this suffering in the afterlife has really gotten my creative juices flowing. I have so many songs in my soul but no way to let them out." Murphy sniffled. "This is hell."
"Right...well...good luck with that..." Homer quickly walked away from the uncomfortable situation with the three bowls of stew still in his hands. He found a tree stump to sit on and began his meal. As he ate, he noticed that Murphy was far from the only familiar face living in District 80. At the end of the table, wolfing down his stew like there was no tomorrow was Red Barclay, the man that had beaten Homer in a steak-eating contest at the cost of his own life. Next to him was an elderly woman Homer knew as Mrs, Glick. She lived in the Retirement Castle with Grandpa from what he remembered and was mauled to death by a seal or something. He never bothered to look into it.
A flash of white suddenly darted onto the table, picked a big piece of chicken out of one of the bowls, and ran back into the bushes, completely unnoticed by everyone except Homer. To his shock, the poultry thief was none other than Snowball I, his daughter's deceased cat.
"What the?" Homer gasped. "Animals can go to Soul Society too? I wonder if that means they can become Shinigami." He set the first empty bowl down and placed the second on his lap. "Heh heh! Shinigami Cat. Ha ha!" He started slurping up the soup, only to feel a sharp pain in his nose, a pain he recognized as being pinched by a crustacean "Ahhh! Shinigami Crab!" He shouted as he tossed the bowl aside and ran around screaming in pain. Once he was able to get a hold of himself, Homer grabbed the pinching culprit and yanked it off. "Why you!?...huh? Wait a minute..this isn't a crab...it's a lobster!"
Indeed the animal that Homer now held in his hand was a bright red lobster. One that looked quite familiar to Homer.
"P...Pinchy?" Homer teared up.
As if to answer him, the lobster pinched him on the nose again.
"Yoww! Aww! Pinchy it is you!" He pulled the lobster away from his face and cuddled it. "I'm so sorry I accidentally steamed you to death. But if it helps, you were so delicious."
Pinchy scrambled out of Homer's grasp, and crawled over his face and down inside his shirt.
"Hey! Get out of there! Hahahaha! That tickles! Ow! No! That hurts! Teehee! It tickles again! Oww! That hurtickles!" Homer's barrage of pain and pleasure lasted until Pinchy crawled out of his leg pants and back into the brush nearby. Homer walked back to his tree stump and started slurping up the final bowl. As he ate, he noticed his mother talking with Maude Flanders. Just the mere sight of her was enough to make Homer's eyes water.
"What am I doing?" He thought. "I came all this way to make things right with Mom and here I am stuffing myself with stew. Well no more!" Homer slammed the bowel on the tree trunk. "It's time to take action!" Homer walked away from the tree stump, only to immediately come back and finish the stew in one gulp. "Waste not, want not!' Homer marched toward his Mother and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Yes?" Mona turned to her son.
"Mom, can we talk in private?" Homer asked.
"Well of course." She turned back to Maude, said "Please excuse me," and followed Homer away from the crowd. "What is it Homer? Is something wrong?"
"Well.." Homer gulped as he turned his back on his mother and pulled out the paper. "It's not easy for me to put it into words," Homer took one final look at the drawing, took a deep breath and turned back to his mother. "Mom, I-
Before Homer could finish, a flaming arrow suddenly zipped between him and Mona, ripping the paper from his hands. It stabbed itself into a nearby tree and the flames consumed Homer's drawing. "Noooo!" He cried.
Suddenly, a whole group of rough-looking men surrounded the village. They chased the feasting people from their table before flipping it over, knocking the bowls of stew to the ground. Homer felt like weeping at the sight of all the wasted food but tossed those feelings aside and wrapped a defensive arm around his mother. The rest of the villagers were rounded up near them with the invading men forming a tight circle to bar their escape. Once everything had settled down, Homer heard a voice speak up from behind the wall of men.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" A few of the men stepped aside, allowing their white-haired leader to pass through. "It looks like Fat Bald and Ugly managed to find his own kind. Isn't that sweet?"
"Hey! I know you!" Homer shouted as he pointed at the man before him. "You're that human trafficker guy! Toilet!"
"My name is Toire you jackass!" He roared angrily. "I'm one of the most feared criminals past District 59 and you ruined my business!"
"Look, if you want to get back at me for freeing your slaves then fine. Have at me!" Homer let go of his mother and pulled her behind him as he spoke. "But leave everyone else out of this. They didn't do anything to you."
"Homer don't!" Mona begged. "You have no idea what the criminals here are capable of!"
"How cute! Trying the play the sacrificial hero card eh?" Toire sneered. "Unfortunately for you, I still need to make up for the loss of my merchandise." Toire looked around and all the villagers. "And while I can't say any of the women look good enough to have fun with myself, I'm sure some sickos would pay a pretty penny for them."
"You heard the boss!" One of the guards from earlier shouted. "Let's tie them up!"
The other guard from earlier offered a curt nod as he grabbed a hold of Maude Flanders and started binding her arms together.
"Hey! You cut that-OOOOhhhhh!" Toire had run up to Homer and delivered a punch to his gut, sending the yellow man to his knees.
"Homer!" Mona cried.
"Not only that but I heard from the grapevine that someone wants you dead!" Toire stomped his foot onto Homer's head. "And they're willing to reward me handsomely if I bring them your corpse!" He delivered another stomp. "What can I say, I'm a businessman at heart!" As Mona watched in horror, Toire continued to stomp on Homer's head, the soles of his shoes reddening with blood.
"Stop it!" Mona scanned the ground for something to throw, found Pinchy, briefly pondered what a lobster was doing so far from the sea, grabbed it, and chucked it at Toire. Pinchy wasted no time digging his claws into Toire's cheeks, causing the criminal to scream in pain and move away from Homer as he tried to free himself from the crustacean's grip. Mona dropped down to her son and started wiping the blood from his head.
"Gahh! Let go you oversized roach!" Toire finally pried the lobster from his face and launched it deep into the woods. He turned to Mona and her son and rushed at the former, grabbing her grey hair, yanking her away from her son, and knocking her to the ground. "You shriveled up crone!" He stomped toward her with the intention of kicking her stomach. "How dare you mark my beautiful face!"
"Mom!" His fear quickly turning into anger over seeing his mother hurt, Homer rushed at Toire with his arms outstretched. "Why you little! How dare you hurt my Mom!"
"Huh!?" Toire turned around just in time for Homer to wrap his hands around his throat and strangle him. The white-haired criminal struggled within Homer's grasp and the yellow man squeezed his neck with all his might, even managing to lift him off the ground. This did not go unnoticed by his cronies who ceased tying up the women and ganged up on Homer, punching and kicking him until he let go of their boss. Once he did, Homer was bound by ropes while Toire fought to catch his breath.
"How..(gasp)...dare...(gasp)...you.." He croaked as he marched up to Homer and punched him in the face. "You...think you can get away...with humiliating me!" Toire delivered another punch to Homer's other cheek. "Well do ya...Do ya!" Toire continued to wail on the bound Homer as Mona and the others watched helplessly.
"I'm such a failure." Homer thought as he was taking his lumps. "If only I had Kunishinbo with me, I'd be able to take these guys out in a heartbeat. But I don't because I'm not a Shinigami. I'm just a fat old loser who let his own mother die thinking he hates her. I deserve this. I just wish something, anything would at the very least, save my mom. Please...save her..."
"Do ya!?" With one final scream, Toire knocked Homer to the ground. He was still conscious but bleeding from his nose and his left ear. His left eye had become black and swollen as well. The sight of her son in this sorry state was enough to bring Mona to the verge of tears. "That's what you get for trying to play hero!" Toire screamed as he delivered one final stomp to Homer's head. "There's no such thing as heroes in this world! If you had known that, you wouldn't be in this mess right now!"
He turned to Mona with venom in his eyes. "Now...what to do about you old bat? You're far too ugly to use for fun or merchandise so I guess I'll just have to kill you." Toire reached into his robes and took out a small knife. "Any last words?"
Mona opened her mouth to tell Toire that he was an awful man but a male voice shouting, "Scatter, Senbonzakura!" drowned it out.
"Scatter, what? What the hell are you talking about lady?" Toire got his answer as his men began to scream all around him. Pink petals were raining down upon them, leaving huge gashes on their bodies and causing their blood to spill out. As those who could still run away did so, Toire watched as a man with Shinigami Captain's Haori suddenly appeared before him, Byakuya Kuchiki. On his shoulder was a woman with a beehive hairdo who closely resembled the man he had just taken down. She jumped off the Captain's shoulders and rushed toward Homer.
"Homie! Homie! Are you alright?"
"M..Marge? Is that you?" Homer asked wearily as he looked up at his wife.
"What the !# &'s going on?" Toire screamed. "What's a freaking Captain doing here?"
"That is of no concern to the likes of you," Byakuya replied calmly. "But since you hurt Homer Simpson, you have made yourself our enemy."
"Let's get out of here boss!" One of Toire's guards suggested fearfully.
"Yeah! There's no way even you can take him on!" The second guard added.
"Shut up both of you!" Toire presented his knife to Byakuya. "I've done too much to get where I am now in the food chain!" He rushed at the Captain. "And there's no way I'm letting some glorified -OOF!" As soon as Toire had gotten close enough, the Captain's spiritual pressure crushed him into the ground. The two guard's jaws dropped upon seeing this and after exchanging a mutual glance of fear, they dashed toward the forest. Before they could make it into the trees, however, another Captain suddenly knocked them both down with a double kick.
"All of you are under arrest!" Soifon shouted. "By trying to harm one of the Simpsons, you've violated the law of the Seireitei. I hope you all enjoy the Maggot's Nest." She snapped her fingers and at once, the rest of Toire's men were surrounded by the Stealth Force. As they rounded up the criminals and untied the hostages, Sajin appeared with Bart and Lisa on his shoulders. "Mom! Dad!" They cried as they rushed toward their already embracing parents.
"Kids...you're here too?" Homer wheezed. "How did you find me?"
"You know those things you ate in Captain Kurotsuchi's labs?" Bart asked. "They were tracking chips."
"D'oh!"
"Marge? Children? Is that you?" Mona asked as she crept closer to them.
"Grandma!" Bart and Lisa shouted happily as they hugged their grandmother tightly.
"Mona!?" Marge gasped. "Homer managed to find you after all?"
"Actually, it's more like I found him. He told me everything that's been going on."
"Not..everything.." Homer forced himself back up."
"Homie! Are you sure it's ok to stand?" Marge asked fretfully.
"It's fine Marge. I have to do this." He turned to Mona and took a deep breath. "Mom, the night you died, I said I would never forgive you for all times you abandoned me." He sniffled. "But I was wrong and I only realized that after it was too late to apologize. I never thought I get the chance to set things right but now that I do, I have to take it, right here and now." He paused for a brief moment to fight his tears and quickly gave up. "Mom, I love you, I forgive you, and I'm sorry."
Mona as well as the rest of the family teared up as well. "I love you too Homer and I never stopped even once!" With these words, Mona embraced her son as he wept into her bosom. Marge and her children joined in on the tearful embracing as the Shinigami Captains watched on.
"I'm very glad to see that Homer has gotten his wish and reconciled with his mother after all." Sajin smiled.
"I suppose so." Byakuya agreed. "Although I wish he hadn't caused us so much trouble in the process, right Captain Soifon?" Byakuya glanced toward the Squad 2 Captain expecting her to agree with gusto. After all, she more than anyone else had been annoyed with the Simpsons' latest antics. To his surprise, Soifon simply continued watching them, her gaze suggesting she was lost in thought.
"That's the woman who Homer never got a goodbye from huh?" Soifon thought. "I see..." Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a strange bird fly away from the scene. Given that they were in a forest rich with wildlife, she decided to ignore it and so the "bird" was able to return to its owner in a cave a few miles away from the village.
"So those idiots failed huh? Why am I not surprised?" The hunchbacked girl placed the device on her shoulder and retreated further into the cave. "The boss is not going to like this, that's for sure."
"Given how late it is, We've decided to camp out here in District 80 for tonight. Tomorrow morning, we will make our return to the Seireitei with Homer Simpson in tow." Byakuya stated into his Soul Pager.
"Very well." Shunsui said on the other line. "Do you think you'll have any trouble with bringing the Simpsons here?"
"No." Byakuya looked out onto the tree at the edge of the village, the one that Homer was sitting on. "Now that he has made peace with his mother, I do not think he will pose any resistance. I am prepared to knock him out if need be."
As Baykuya continued his conversation, Homer continued to watch the moon and stars. His mother as well as his family were already asleep inside the former's tent with the exception of Lisa who was busy jamming with her beloved mentor. Homer found himself too wound by today's events to even take a nap and so decided to do some stargazing. Suddenly, he felt a presence behind him and turned to see Soifon standing on the tree branch above him. "Do you mind if I join you?" She asked in an unusually calm voice.
"Um..sure." Homer said as he looked back to the sky. Soifon nodded and sat on the branch. For the next few minutes, neither one said a word. And then, Soifon spoke.
"So your mother...were you able to say what you couldn't back then?" She asked.
"Yeah..." Homer answered flatly, feeling as if Soifon was about to make a snide comment on why this event didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. To his surprise, what came out of her mouth instead was, "I'm sorry."
"Y...Your sorry?" Homer asked. "For what?"
"For what I said the other day." Soifon elaborated. "I don't normally involve myself with the emotional state of the humans that come to Soul Society. None of us really do. So I couldn't truly comprehend what was so important about finding your mother until you told me that she died without you saying goodbye."
"Really? Why would that part be so important to you?" Homer asked.
"Because...I do in fact know what it feels like." Soifon confessed. "Do you recall what Captain Hirako told you about the Visored? About what happened that day?"
"I think I do." Homer pondered. "After that Aizen jerk turned Shinji and the others into Werehollows, Kisuke was blamed for what happened and charged with the crime, only for Yoruichi to bail him out, right? Then they all left for the World of the Living for 100 years."
"That's right," Soifon confirmed, surprised that Homer actually remembered that much. Maybe he wasn't as dumb as she thought. Then again, he did just call the Visored Werehollows...Soifon shook her head. "Around that time, I was serving as Lady Yoruichi's bodyguard. She was my whole world and I would do anything for her."
Homer snickered. "Gay alert!"
"Shut it!" Soifon snapped with an angry blush before recomposing herself and continuing. "Anyway, on the day that she left, I was completely unaware of the situation at first. It was only when one of my fellow Squad members told me what happened that I knew the truth. I still remember running to Yoruichi's office and telling myself that she would be there, that it was all just some horrible joke, only to find it totally empty. Lady Yoruichi was gone without so much as a goodbye."
Homer's eyes watered as Soifon finished her own tale of woe.
"Of course, we would have reunited on happier terms 100 years later but I couldn't have known that at the time. As far as I knew back then, Yoruichi had become the enemy and the next time I would see her, I'd have to destroy her for the good of Soul Society." Soifon turned to Homer, her eyes watery but not quite close to crying. "I know I stepped out of line with my remarks to you yesterday and I apologize. But do not assume that I don't understand what that pain feels like."
"Soifon..."Homer sniffled. "I'm sorry too. I got so caught up in how unfair the afterlife is, that I forgot you Shinigami have feelings too."
Soifon blushed again, suddenly realizing how much weakness she was showing Homer, and turned away to wipe her face. "Get over yourself! Both of those people are back in our lives anyway so there's no need for sentimentality!"
Homer laughed softly and somehow, Soifon found herself joining in. After the laughter came another minute or so of silence. "I think I'm gonna just stay up here a little while longer." Homer finally said as he looked up into the night sky
"Yeah...me too.."
With this, Both Homer and Soifon stared into the starry sky, taking in its beauty and magnitude long into the night.
(Feel free to play the ending theme of Mother Simpson and just imagine Homer and Soifon stargazing in a tree for a minute or so. In any case, with this two-parter done, the story only has about three chapters left. I can't lie, I'm feeling pretty melancholy writing this. It hasn't even been a year since starting this story and already it feels like the end of an era. In any case, I wanna thank everyone who has shown support for this story through your reviews, favorites, and follows. I will do the best I can to make the final three chapters of the story as worth the wait as possible. See you then!)
