A/N: We're going back to Seattle! Things might get messy… Also, I realized New Year's would have occurred when they were in Connecticut. For the sake of the story, it hasn't occurred yet.
Chapter 7
Addison could see the trailer coming into view as they drove through a clearing in the woods. The car headlights bobbed and bounced off the brush and trees around them, guiding them through the dark. Blurry fragments of the last time she was here flashed in her mind, and she gripped the door handle tightly, as though it would help her shove the thoughts away from the forefront of her mind. She blinked harshly and turned her head to face the window so that Derek wouldn't see her.
"We can look at blueprints for a house first thing," Derek said as he pulled up to the front of the trailer and put his jeep in park. He turned the key and took it out of the ignition, leaving only the sound of rain pattering against the windows.
Addison tracked a raindrop as it slid down into the crevice of the window seal. She suddenly wished she could disappear like that, vanish into nothingness. It seemed easier than facing this new reality.
Derek retrieved an umbrella from the backseat. "Are you ready?"
Addison cleared her throat, wary of the lump that had formed there. "This is already strike one for the hair frizz," she responded, her voice void of any emotion, before opening the car door. A sheet of rain welcomed her, and she ran to the trailer with Derek close on her heels.
The trailer was warm and quiet inside, apart from the raindrops dinging against the tin exterior. Charming, Addison thought.
Derek kicked his boots off by the door and rested the umbrella against the wall. "Would you like some tea or something?" He asked as he shed his coat.
Addison looked around the area, hesitant to become acquainted with it again. "Do you have red wine?" She asked finally.
Derek smirked and opened a cabinet door. "You know I do."
"I'm going to change into something comfortable," she said before disappearing into the bedroom, or lack thereof.
She heard Derek moving around the kitchen and retrieving glassware as she slipped out of her dress and put on her favorite oversized Yale sweatshirt. She stepped into a soft pair of sleep shorts before peering out at the kitchen.
Derek was already on his way over and stuck the glass of wine out to her like a peace offering.
She took a savory sip and licked her lips. "I don't know why anyone wastes their time with tea," she mumbled as she climbed into bed, carefully balancing the wine glass as she did so.
Derek laughed as he changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed next to her. "Do you mind if I review a case?"
Addison raised an eyebrow. "You know, we do still have tomorrow off. It's the middle of the night." She threw the blankets back and hunkered down, wrapping herself in a cocoon of plushness.
"I am jetlagged, I suppose. I just feel restless. I want to be ready for surgery on Tuesday. And the New Year's party is tomorrow." He joined her under the covers.
"You're always ready for surgery," she commented.
Derek reached for her glass and took a sip. "That is a good wine." He handed it back and studied her for a moment. "I know I keep asking-"
"Then don't," Addison cut in.
"You know I have to," he scooted down and rested his weight on his elbow.
Addison sighed and set her wine glass down on the nightstand with a heavy hand. "No, you don't."
"Just- I need to know, Addie. Did you go to the hospital? Did you get a…" He struggled to find his wording.
"A what? A kit?" Addison dared him.
"Addison, I'm not trying to upset you-" Derek attempted, but she was quick to cut him off again.
"I'm not upset," she shot back. "I'm angry. I'm angry that I went to that bar that night. I'm angry that I accepted a shot from a man I didn't know. Hell, I'm angry that I even went to Joe's bar that night, thinking we were going to be okay." She threw her hands up. Redness creeped up her neck and flushed her cheeks. "But you know what I'm really angry about, Derek?"
She didn't give him time to respond. "I'm angry that because of that night, my husband, who really wants to be my ex-husband, takes pity on me so much so that he's pretending like the last several months didn't even happen, and now he keeps obnoxiously asking me if I'm okay, which clearly, I'm not!" She finished and locked her jaw.
Derek sat up straighter and ran a hand through his hair. "First of all, we are going to be okay-"
"Who are you trying to fool, Derek?" Addison asked, her cheeks still beet red.
He let out a huff of frustration himself. "I'm not trying to fool anyone. I'm trying to fix this."
"Fix what? Fix me?" She threw the covers back and shot up. "I'm not broken!" She shouted angrily.
"I know that!" He finally shouted back and climbed out of bed to stand in front of her. He took her by the shoulders sternly.
"Let go of me," she gritted through clenched teeth.
He could feel her body shaking, releasing the tension from the emotions that were coursing through her veins. "I know you're angry. And it's very apparent that I'm saying all the wrong things. So tell me. Tell me what you want and need from me. I'll do it. I'll say it. I'll do anything. Just tell me."
"Don't ask me." Her expression finally softened. "I don't want to talk about it."
Derek loosened his grip and looked her over, yearning to shield her from things she had already been through. "Will you talk to me about it when you're ready?"
She didn't give him a yes or a no. She simply looked back up at him, blinking away the unshed tears in her eyes. And he knew that was the closest thing to a yes that he would receive.
"I hate these things," Derek said as he adjusted his tie.
Addison appeared from the kitchen, wearing a deep green satin dress. She secured an earring in her ear as she looked Derek over.
"Do we have to go?" He asked.
She walked over to him and helped straighten his tie. "Yes. It'll give me a chance to talk to Richard about coming back."
"You could just call him," Derek quipped. He looked her over and smiled. "You do look beautiful, though."
Addison gave him a small smile but rolled her eyes playfully. "Let's get this over with."
They walked to the car together and Derek helped navigate her, careful of her Louboutins in the wet grass.
It didn't matter what city they were in; Addison would always dress New York. And he couldn't help but love her for it. He knew it was something she had picked up from her family, but he found it almost endearing how she would make any event an excuse to dress up.
They drove through the winding roads of Seattle until they had reached Seattle Grace Hospital. It beckoned to him like an old friend, and he felt a new pressure at the idea of integrating his and Addison's world into his Seattle world.
He couldn't go back to New York. He would never be able to without seeing Mark and Addison in their bed together, with a trail of discarded clothes leading to them like a path of hot coals. If they were going to make it, they would have to make it in a new city.
Through the floor-to-ceiling glass windows, they could see gold and white decorations hung precariously around the hospital lobby.
"Remind me why we chose to go to this instead of watching the ball drop in New York?" Addison questioned with a dramatic sigh.
"Richard, remember?" Derek lolled his head to look at her and smirked.
"Oh yeah," Addison rolled her eyes playfully. "That's right; to convince him to give me a job here."
Derek nodded in the direction of the hospital. "Come on, we can drink champagne until we can convince ourselves we're having fun."
Addison sighed again and reluctantly followed him all the way to the front doors.
Meredith, clad in a black slip dress, stood next to Cristina, who wore a plum halter dress that flowed to the floor.
"I don't know what to expect, frankly. One moment, Derek is saying he's going to make it work with Addison and the next, he's telling me half-truths and vague answers to keep me in his back pocket." Meredith crossed her arms and looked to Cristina. "Well go on, tell me something witty and wise."
Cristina smirked behind her glass of champagne. "Why don't you go ask him for the whole truth yourself?"
"What do you mean?" Meredith asked, confusion plastered on her face.
Cristina looked straight at the door. "Well, he just walked through the door with Satan herself."
Meredith looked over to see Addison, dressed in a gorgeous green dress that hugged her in all the right places and Derek, sharp as ever, standing beside her. His arm was loosely hanging around her waist and they looked like a perfectly happy married couple. Meredith felt her skin crawl.
"They're back?" two voices asked in unison.
Cristina and Meredith turned around to find George and Izzie gawking at the couple as well.
"Oh, great. Yes, let's all gather around for the dog and pony show that is my boyfriend and his wife," Meredith sulked.
"Is he still your boyfriend?" George asked innocently.
Izzie shot him a nervous look and kicked him.
"Ow," George said loudly and exaggeratedly.
Meredith downed the rest of her drink and looked around for her next glass. "I don't know what he is. All I know is, I need more alcohol if I'm going to make it through this night."
"Richard," Addison greeted, all smiles. "It's wonderful to see you again." She leaned in for a brief hug.
"The pleasure is all mine. I was so sorry to hear about your mother. How are you doing?" he asked warmly.
"I'm well, thank you for asking, Richard," Addison said kindly, but swiftly. She didn't want to discuss her mother. The fear of anyone finding out the truth allowed her to wrap her emotions up in a neat and tidy box.
Richard nodded in understanding. "Well, it looks like you two need a drink. Join me over here," he swept his arm out in the direction of the drink table and they moved to gather as a group there.
Derek poured himself and Addison each a glass of champagne before Richard continued. "So, have you thought about what we talked about, Addie?"
"I have." She watched the bubbles in her champagne rise to the top and disperse as she mustered the energy to say her next line. "If the offer is still on the table, I would love to stay at Seattle Grace."
"Oh! That's wonderful news," Richard boasted. He patted both of them on the arm simultaneously. "This is going to be the best surgical hospital in the States. People from all over will flock to Seattle Grace." He grinned and clinked glasses with them. "Enjoy the party. I'll see the two of you in scrubs on Tuesday."
Derek took a small sip of his champagne and felt the carbonation bubble through his body. He felt compelled to scout out the room for a certain blonde. He wasn't sure if he wanted to avoid her at all costs or if he should make things final in person. He knew what the respectful thing to do was, but he wasn't so sure Addison would see it that way.
Either way, he couldn't find her in the crowd. Perhaps, she decided against going to the New Year's party.
"Well, that can't be good for Meredith," Izzie said, watching Addison, Derek and Richard carry on at the drink table. She bit into her cheese and cracker before continuing with a mouthful. "Looks like someone is here to stay."
George watched little crumbs fly out of her mouth. "Izzie!" He jumped back, feigning injury. "You're spitting crumbs out like confetti."
Izzie covered her mouth and giggled. "Oh, sorry," she said with a smile in her voice. "Do we tell Meredith?" She asked, falling serious again.
They both looked over to see Meredith alone in the corner, downing one drink after another.
"I don't think she would remember it if we did," George said flatly.
"Good point," Izzie agreed, happy to avoid stirring the pot. "Maybe keep her away from McDreamy tonight, though. I don't see that ending well."
George nodded enthusiastically, looking from Derek and Addison to Meredith and back.
The sweet sounds from a slow song filled the room and Addison looked at Derek wistfully. "I love this song. 'Amsterdam' by Gregory something or another. It reminds me of that one Christmas-"
"The one when it snowed, and Kathleen's car got stuck?" Derek finished, remembering with her fondly.
"Yes, that's the one," Addison smiled and gingerly reached for his hand, wrapping her fingers loosely around his. "Want to dance to it? For old time's sake."
Derek set down his glass of champagne and tightened his hold on her. "I would love to," he responded before leading her to the center of the room. He could do this; he could carry their current marriage through the memories of how they once were.
Couples and friends danced around them. Some laughed, some shared romantic looks and others simply exchanged friendly banter.
Derek pulled Addison's hand to rest against his chest and kept their hands clasped together there. He placed his free hand on her lower back, drawing her in nearer to him. They swayed to the music, and he rested his forehead against hers. He could hear her breaths evening out as a calm washed over her. They moved together in a familiar pattern, and he looked up, expecting to meet Addison's eyes, but he met Meredith's behind her instead.
Meredith stood still in a room full of moving bodies. Her grey eyes bored into his blue ones, and he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. There was something cold and distant about her stature.
Before he knew it, the song had ended, switching over to a more upbeat one.
Addison pulled apart from him and caught his eye. She looked up at him softly and genuinely. A hopeful look rested in her eyes.
Derek had to do it. He had to put it all to rest for Addison. Affair or not, the love he felt for her was greater than the emotional affair he had going on with Meredith. And if he wanted his marriage to work, he couldn't entertain the idea of Meredith any longer.
He kissed Addison on the temple. "Sorry, I'll be right back. There's just something I need to…" He looked past her to see Meredith already stalking off to find a more private area. "Sorry," he finished lamely. He brushed past her before she could see that it was Meredith, he was excusing himself to see.
Addison stood in the middle of the crowd, a confused and slightly embarrassed look on her face. She slowly made her way off the dance floor and looked around for a friendly face.
She recognized a pile of platinum blonde hair tumbling over a Barbie pink dress. "Dr. Stevens," Addison greeted.
Izzie spun around and almost spit her drink out. She struggled to swallow and gave Addison the best smile that she could muster.
"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd," she said before coughing.
"How are you?" Addison asked as she picked up a new glass of champagne.
Izzie nodded in an overly enthusiastic manner. "Good, good." She looked around nervously. She caught a glimpse of Meredith around the corner in a hushed conversation with someone.
"Was there someone you were looking for?" Addison asked, looking around with her in curiosity.
Izzie snapped back to look at Addison. "No! No, not at all," she tried to recover feebly. "So, uh-" she quickly glanced at Meredith and then back at Addison. "It's good to have you back. You are back, aren't you?"
Addison took a hesitant sip of her champagne and considered the question. "It would seem that way."
"Uh-huh," Izzie said, clearly preoccupied. "Excuse me," she blurted before scurrying off.
Addison sighed and plopped down in a chair against the wall, watching the goings on around her. She stared down into the flute again.
She watched the specks of drink dance on the surface, sparkling from the carbonation. Drinking did seem to soothe her, but if she had learned anything, it was that you couldn't find the answers you're looking for at the bottom of a bottle.
Addison set the glass aside and sunk lower in her chair. It was going to be a long night.
Ch. 8 coming soon.
