Before Remus knew it, January had almost come to an end. Endless days of snow pelted down on the village of Hogsmeade. At times the snow came down so forcefully, it would half bury the door to the Hogshead pub, during the night. Remus had actually seen Tonks a few times from a distance during the past month but hadn't spoken to her at all. He was trying to let her move on with her life, no matter how miserable it made him. It hadn't been particularly easy but he had forced himself to stay away. He'd done enough damage already where she was concerned.

One particularly nasty afternoon, Remus found himself inside the Hogshead cleaning some glasses for Aberforth. He didn't mind helping, it was the least he could do with the low price that he was being allowed to stay there for.

Remus had found himself lost in his thoughts, as he absentmindedly cleaned, staring outside through the window at the snow falling heavy onto the road below. But, someone walking through the door behind him startled him.

Aberforth stumbled in through the back door of the pub, cursing about the wretched weather.

"Dear Merlin, it's coming down like goats out there." Aberforth exclaimed loudly, as he slammed down a bag of goat feed.

Remus murmured his agreement, noncommittally. "Mhmm." He was still too distracted to actually reply. He'd been finding himself more and more distracted as of late.

"Don't go out unless you have too!" Aberforth told him.

"I have to go to a meeting later, otherwise I'd stay." Remus told him. By the look on his face, he could tell that Aberforth knew that "meeting" was code for an Order meeting.

"Well, just be safe out there." Aberforth grumbled.

"Will do, thanks Aberforth." Remus replied before the older man stomped up the rickety staircase behind the bar.

Remus cursed himself for being so distracted as of late. He knew Aberforth likely didn't notice or care, but Remus noticed and it bothered him enough. He quickly finished his task before leaving for the Order meeting.


Hundreds of miles away in London, Tonks was not fairing much better. She often felt enternially distracted these days. It had been months since her last face to face interaction with Remus and if she was being totally honest she wasnt looking forward to seeing him later that afternoon at the order meeting. Seeing him and having to pretend they didnt care for each other had grown exhausting, and she wasnt sure she wanted to do it anymore. The last time they'd seen each other had been so painful, hearing him tell her to move on without him in her life was daunting and miserable all at once.

Tonks worked stedily throughout the afternoon and tried to keep her mind off of Remus, by staying busy with paperwork and tasks as much as she could. But, before she knew it, it was 4pm and it was time for her to leave to go to the order meeting.

So, she packed up her things slowly, dawdling purposefully to avoid not just remus and the other Order members who she often felt she disapointed these days, but to avoid doing what she had been putting off for at least two weeks. She had vowed to move on from Remus, and that would have to include asking other people out.

Relying on friends or family to set her up had gone badly before so now she only trusted herself and her own gut in these matters. But, today was the day. She was going to ask out one of her fellow aurors. She had been working up to ask Adam out after work each day that week but had chickened out each time. Adam had previously asked her out while she had been dating Remus, but she had said no since she had been seeing Remus. That was almost a year ago now though, and she assumed he likely had since asked someone else out but figured she should try. After all Adam was a decent guy. He was a total workaholic, and very loyal to the ministry, but he was close to her age and they obviously had things in common as they were both aurors. So she took a deep breath and decided to go for it.

She lingered longer than she should of by his office, but forced herself to knock.

"Tonks!" Adam greeted her as he spun around in his office chair.

"Wotcher." She greeted him kindly.

"How's it been going?" Adam asked her.

"Ah- pretty good. Busy." Tonks told him.

He chuckled, patting the stack of paperwork on his desk. "I understand, ha."

"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to grab a drink at the leaky couldron, but if your too busy ill understand.

"Ah- well I couldn't to but I could do lunch tomorrow."

"Okay, sounds good to me." Tonks told him.

"I'll see you at noon then."

"Good deal" Tonks replied before leaving to go to Ashlee's house for the Order meeting.

As she walked off she couldn't help but feel somewhat hopeful for the future.


Knotting Hill was busy and bustling as usual when Tonks appeared suddenly in the street.

The workers on the Hill were walking here and there. Their heels clacking on the step stones beneath them as they walked through the streets. The sound echoed off the closely packed buildings along the narrowly built square.

Tonks knew the way to her destination well, as the Order met here for every other meeting now. She walked quickly to the area in a high hedge where she could enter the boundaries to the property.

A guard was waiting for her at the hedge.

"Hello, I'm here to see Ashlee." Tonks told the guard.

"Ms. Warbucks is inside." The guard explained, allowing Tonks to enter.

Tonks made her way across the front drive. And, she stopped right before she made it to the front door. She steadied herself slightly before going in. She needed to get her shit together before she saw Remus and the rest of the Order.

She took one last steadying breath and opened the large front door and stumbled across the entrance way in typical fashion. Thankfully, there was no one in the entrance way to see this spectacle.

She straightened up, and walked purposefully through the grand entrance way, and large living area, and through the kitchen, that led to a formal dinner area, which held all of the Order. They all sat conversing at a large oblong table in the center of the room.

She sat as far from Remus as she could, and sat next to Ashlee who was on the opposite end of the table than Remus.

she tried not to look at Remus at all, but he spoke several times during the meeting and she felt obligated to look at him during those times. But, if she was being honest, she barely heard a thing he had said. She was so distracted.

Most of the meeting was mundane, until the end of the meeting. Mundungus had suggested that Tonks disguise herself for an upcoming mission. At this suggestion Tonks felt herself flush slightly with embarrassment.

"Ah- yeah I could do that." She said hesitantly. She could always just alter her appearance in the typical fashion if she couldn't morph.

She was hopeful the topic would be dropped but she had hoped for too much clearly, because just then she heard someone else speak.

"Can you?" Severus Snape asked in a derisive way.

"Yes." Tonks told him curtly.

"Well, it kind of seems as though you've rather lost your touch."

"What does that mean?" Tonks asked bravely.

"Only that you seem to be unable to perform your most vital magic."

"Leave her alone." Growled, Mad Eye.

But Tonks waved him down. She wanted to say her peace.

"As long as I can change my appearance, why does it matter to you how I do it. I'll get the job done." Tonks told him coldly.

"I think that it's fair to bring up your lack of ability to do your most vital skill. Especially, when that's the only reason why your important to the Order to begin with.

Tonks seethed in anger at this comment. But before she could retort or say anything else, Ashlee had stood up and Mad Eye had yelled out again.

"The meeting is over." She called out coldly, glaring at Snape.

Snape just kinda put his hands up in a conciliatory way, showing his contempt.

At this Tonks walked quickly out into the backyard. She desperately needed air, and there seemed to be a genuine lack of air inside the huge mansion.

She gasped as she reach one of the large brown wicker benches on the patio.

She trembled with anger and surprisingly, unshed tears.

From the table Remus watched her out the window. He had been so angry during the encounter that had just happened that he still had his hands clenched under the overly large table.

He steadied himself before deciding what he was going to do next.

After a minute or so, Tonks heard a small noise from behind her and it led her to believe that someone else had entered the back yard.

"Hey." A small quiet voice said.

Tonks turned around, already knowing who it was.

It was Ashlee.

"Wotcher." Tonks said sadly, turning back around quickly, as not to look at her.

"You know." Ashlee said before sitting down.

"Snape is foul and lonely. Don't listen to him. You're plenty important to the Order, practicing metamorphmagus or not."

Tonks didn't look at her, but nodded to be polite.

"But, this isn't really about him is it." Ashlee asked.

At this, Tonks came undone. And, she cried.

Ashlee waited for her to calm down before asking anything else.

But, inside, Remus was still steaming with rage.

He watched Severus casually leaving and stood up, he considered following him, but he turned and saw Tonks crying outside in the backyard instead. Then he saw red.

He barely even remembered walking over to follow Snape. But the second he and Snape were both in the front entrance way, he grabbed him and pushed him over into the garden.

Snape spun around on the spot. His face as livid as Remus'.

"What." Snape spat.

"If-if you ever make her cry again. I will kill you." He said in a steady and cold voice. One he didn't recognize on his lips.

The statement had even scared himself. Snape thankfully also look mildly fearful as well. Which Remus was grateful for.

"Well, not such a tame wolf now, are you." Snape sneered.

"I don't care. Just like you don't care who you hurt." Remus told him harshly.

Snape scoffed. "You two deserve each other. You're both so weak." Snape sneered.

At this, Snape left, leaving Remus to walk back into the house.

He was shocked, he couldn't believe he had just done that. He walked silently across the grand foyer, lost in thought about his recent behavior, when the sound of other voices hit his ears.

He felt badly for it but he stopped in the narrow hallway just before the living room and listened to what Tonks and Ashlee were saying outside on the patio.

"Look, I've been alive-well not really alive, but you know what I mean. I've been around a long time." Ashlee said,

"Are we allowed to ask vampires how old they are?" Tonks asked.

Ashlee chuckled, but answered. "I'll be 70 in August."

"Well, I guess you have been around" Tonks said.

"A bit. And, That's why I know that these things almost always work out in the end."

"Hhhm, maybe."

"Well, you have two choices I suppose. You can wait and keep trying and potentially make a total fool of yourself, or you can try to move on for good, which could also result in the same situation, but at least either way you can say you tried."

Tonks nodded. "That's true."

"I just wish that this was all easier." Tonks told her.

"Ha, Hell. I do too. I wish everything was easier, but that's not how it always works out. But, we adapt, in time." Ashlee explained.

"What would you do?" Tonks asked Ashlee.

"Honestly, I'd do whatever I wanted to do. And, then I'd wait for him to come to me. That's the only way it will be genuine I suppose." Ashlee said.

Tonks nodded, thinking that the plan actually sounded decent.

"Don't stay out here all night, okay." Ashlee told her.

Tonks just nodded as Ashlee went inside.

Remus laid his head against the wall, tortured and pained by what he had just heard. Everything he had feared was true. He was the reason for the changes in Tonks. He couldn't deny that truth any longer.

"Remus?" Ashlee called from the kitchen.

Remus cursed himself internally at this. He should of known she'd notice he was there.

He walked down the hall to the adjoining door to the kitchen.

"I could tell you were here." she said, as she put cups away.

"Well, I couldn't leave."

"You mean you needed to Eavesdrop?" Ashlee countered.

Remus felt his mouth go dry.

"I suppose I don't really need to say anything since you kinda already heard. But-but, just so you know. After I became a vampire, after I had lost a majority of my powers, I went through one of the darkest periods of my days. Darker than dark. But in the end I survived. Because, the person I loved and who loved me in return was by my side. And even as I walked through hell, we made some wonderful memories, ones I still cherish to this day. And 50 years later, we still love one another like we did at my worst. Sometimes, love heals wounds we may have never thought possible."

Before Remus could even respond to her she was strolling out of the room.

Oh, by the way." She said, popping back into the room.

"You're an asshole." Ashlee said somewhat stiffly, then left.

Remus sighed heavily, and watched her leave, hearing her footfalls on her way up her curved grand staircase.

This, left Remus alone in the kitchen with his thoughts. He stared out onto the back patio where Tonks sat alone. He hated this animosity around them. And, he hated how sad their last interaction had been for both of them.

He wanted to make amends with Tonks so they could have at least somewhat normal interactions. He didn't want them to spend the rest of their lives avoiding each other, or turning down an alley each time they caught a glimpse of each other from afar. For the last 8 months Every time they saw each other had been fraught with either pain and sadness, or awkwardness.

Remus sighed, knowing they should probably clear the air.

Remus walked over to the door to the patio, and pushed open the door. Tonks was still facing away from him, looking out at the huge back garden.

Remus felt like he was intruding on a private moment.

Remus cleared his throat to announce himself. At this, Tonks turned around.

Tonks sighed heavily.

She turned back around, unable to say anything to him.

"I'm sorry about Severus, He's foul.

Tonks sighed again as she felt Remus sit down beside her.

"You don't need to do this."

"do what?" Remus asked.

"Console me. Like-like were friends or something." Tonks hissed bitterly.

"I wish we could be friends Tonks!." Remus exclaimed. "I-I liked being your friend. It was nice. I hate that we avoid each other now." He told her softly.

Tonks sighed heavily again.

"Remus, I want to be your friend! You think I like this animosity between us?!"

"Of course I don't." Remus murmured.

"Cant we just start over, be friendly like when we first met. I hate not speaking." Remus asked.

He knew it was a lot to ask after everything that had happened but he couldn't help it. He cared about her too much to continue avoiding her.

Tonks chuckled a little. "I - I guess that wouldn't be that bad. I can be... civil." Tonks told him.

Remus supposed that was probably the best he could of asked for after everything that had happened between them.

"Well, Then as your friend. Can I ask something of you?" He mused.

"Yeah, I suppose."

Remus paused for a few seconds before replying.

"Promise me, that-that you'll try to find someone to be happy with, please." Remus quietly pleaded with her.

Tonks sighed loudly. But didn't say anything.

"They won't all be bad, they-they won't all ask you to change the way you look." Remus said hesitantly.

You'll find a good guy."

At this. Tonks froze.

"H-how did you know about that?" She asked in a deadly quiet voice.

"I heard Molly tell Arthur about it at Christmas." Remus told her without looking at her.

tonks chuckled dryly. "Of course, as if it wasn't bad enough living through that interaction once."

Remus sighed.

After a few seconds Remus spoke again.

"You don't always have to be so strong you know." Remus told her. it had been something someone had once told him many years before.

Tonks chuckled again. "Oh yes I do." Tonks said as her voice broke slightly.

"I should go." Tonks said. She patted Remus on the arm kindly before retreating. She didn't want him to think she was blowing him off.

Remus watched her go, hoping he had made her feel at least a little better.

AN: Sorry this update took so long, unfortunately one of our cats died recently and I've been mourning. I appreciate your understanding. Ill be trying to catch up on content now that I'm back. Hope you liked this update. Remus and Tonks will be reunited soon!