"Willow? Wills, please talk to me. Whatever you need, im here" Matt said as Willow remained silent. "Willow wherever you are, i just hope that youre safe, youre happy and doing whatever you need to do. We all love you and miss you here" he said as the two lovers remained silent for a few minutes before Willow spoke. "Im sorry" she said before hanging up. "Wills... Willow please..." Matt said as the dial tone kicked in. Wills sounded so...not scared...reluctant. Like she didnt really want to call Matt thought as he stared at the paused image on screen. I really broke you didnt i? he thought as he wrote down the number Willow had called him from, ready to search for it online. As he searched the number he got a shock when it came back as a Behavioral and Mental Health Hospital. Shes in a psych hospital? Is her mental state really that bad? he thought as he made a mental note to tell the others the following day, unaware of the torment Willow was going through.

"Willow are you ok?" Haytham asked as Willow cried silently. "Willow you've been doing really well these last few weeks and i know how hard that was for you" he added, putting his arms around her as Willow took a deep breath. "I...i couldnt do it. Im not ready for them to know" she said quietly as they left the office. "Wills, Im only a therapist but from what youve expressed in your sessions, im always here if you need me" Haytham said as they walked to the room Willow was staying in. "Do you think im crazy?" she asked as he shook his head and replied "No, not at all. I think youve just been dealing with too much for too long and now its at the point where you need to put yourself first and actually heal" "I dont think i never fully processed everything thats happened to me" Willow said as they approached the room. "I still feel guilty about my parents deaths" she said as they stood outside her room."Willow you have nothing to feel guilty about." Haytham said as he ran his fingers down her arm. "You know how i couldnt tell Matt and the others where i am, maybe i could write to them?" she asked "That is something we can discuss at your next session, which is tomorrow i believe" he said as she nodded and yawned. "Its getting late, im going to see if i can try and get a decent sleep for once. Goodnight Haytham" she said as she entered her room, as Haytham replied with "Goodnight" both of them hiding their feelings.

"Willow called? What did she say? Where is she?" Adam asked as he and Jeff arrived at Matts dressing room at the arena the following day. "She was crying. She sounded reluctant to talk and when she did, all she said was 'im sorry' before hanging up" Matt replied as Jeff slumped onto the sofa. "So i googled the number she called from. Its a Behavioral and Mental Health Hospital up in Philadelphia" Matt added as Jeff asked "shes in a mental hospital? How bad are things with her?" "I dont know Jeff. All i know is that shes been struggling a since Lucas and the wedding. Maybe even before" Matt replied as Adam asked "Now you know where she is, are you going to go?" "I dont know. Part of me wants to, but the other part is telling me it may harm her recovery" he replied. "I say let her come to you Matt. You dont know how she'll react to seeing you if you just turn up" Jeff said as Matt sighed. "I just hope shes getting better and stronger" Matt said, completely unaware of Willows new torment.

"Willow, today i dont want to delve into your trauma. I want you to tell me about a positive influence on yourself. Tell me about Matt" Haytham said as they began their session for the afternoon. "Matt is...complicated. Being with him was so, so easy but so hard at the same time" she said, feeling herself get emotional at Matts name. "He gave me so much joy, so much love and happiness but he also caused me so much hurt, so much pain. No matter what happened between us, i still loved him. Hes been my best friend, my rock for such a long time, that when we split last year i put my guard up. I built up walls around me. I struggle to trust potential partners. I guess when you go through what we've gone through as a couple and as parents, its given us a bond thats unbreakable" she said as Haytham asked "How do you feel about him now?" "I dont know. Theres days where i want to go back to how things were, but then theres days where i feel like i need to move on, try new relationships." she replied as she smiled at him. "What sort of issues and trials did you face with him?" Haytham asked as Willow sighed. "How long do you have?" she asked as she began to reel off everything Matt and she had been through, from finding Amy to the cancer. "Best thing he gave me are my girls. Jas and Rubes are who i live for. Without them, especially this past year, i'd have probably killed myself" Willow said as Haytham placed his hand on hers as she wiped away a tear. "Willow, its ok to have felt that way. Its still ok to feel that way. Have you ever thought or felt about ever acting on those thoughts?" he asked as she shook her head. "I did self harm. I cut myself when i needed to release all the built up hurt, the pain. When i was feeling real low. Am i totally fucked up?" "Willow, youre not fucked up. What youve been through, Im amazed that you havent had a stay here before" Haytham replied as he passed her a notebook and pen. "I have to go away this weekend, so i wont be here. What i'd like for you to do is write down everything youve felt from every event youve had in your life. Whether its a good or bad event, a postive or negative feeling. I want you to remember it all and write it all down" he said as Willow nodded. "I also want you to try and contact your family again. Whether its via telephone or letter, they deserve to know where you are" "I guess so. I guess ive also been leaning on you a lot so this weekend will be a test for me. See if i can handle being on my own" Willow said as Haytham replied "You wont be on your own. Theres other patients and doctors here. You need anything, talk to someone" he said as he continued "I know that this is highly unethical but i like you. I really like you and i was wondering if once youve left this place, you'd maybe like to go for a coffee?" he asked as Willow smiled and nodded. "That would actually be nice" she replied as she left his office, wondering where these new feelings were coming from.

The week flew by, it was almost ten days later with Matt and the others on their way home from the tour. "Hey Matt, you heard anything else from Wills since that call last week?" Jeff asked as Matt shook his head. "Not a word" he said as he continued "even though i know where she is, i just want to know shes getting better" "If it makes you feel any better Matt, Ames recieved a letter this morning from her. Maybe she's sent one to you too?" Adam said as Matt sighed."I just want to know, just for the girls" he said as they crossed the state line into North Carolina, as they continued the journey home in silence. The men arrived at Matts place just before midnight, Amys car in the driveway as Jasmine and Ruby were staying overnight. "Hey Ames, how have they been?" Matt asked as he entered the living area."Theyve been angels. Both fast asleep by 9pm, although Jas was asking for Wills again" Amy said as she stood up from the sofa and passed him an envelope. "You might want to read this in the morning. Its a bit of a tough read for this time of night. Call if you need anything" she said as she went out and joined Adam and Jeff in the car, leaving Matt alone with his thoughts. Do i read it now or wait till morning like Ames suggested? Matt thought as he stared at the envelope in his hands, recognising Willows handwriting. Whats in this letter thats so tough? he thought as he opened the envelope and pulled out the letter and began reading.

Matt,

I dont know how to even begin this. Where do I even begin to explain...

I thought i was getting stronger, both physically and mentally when i was around you. When i was with you i felt more like me, but i was also beginning to struggle with the double life I was leading. I was with you , pretending to be single but also starting to date other people as a cover.

I thought i was ready, but i wasnt. I wasnt ready physically or emotionally.

When i met Lucas, it felt like a big step for me. He was sweet, charming, patient with me and willing to go slow. After that night with him, when he told me he loved me and took advantage of me, everything changed. You saw how vulnerable i was that night, how messed up i was, you could have done exactly what he did but you didnt. You listened, you let me cry, you let me stay when you knew i shouldnt be on my own. You showed me that you cared and that you have changed this past year. You saw exactly what he was like when he turned up the day before we were due to go to Brooke and Christians Wedding.

Then the wedding incident happened. I wasnt anticipating him just turning up like that and it knocked me. It messed with my head, you know if Adam hadnt turned up Lucas would have dragged me off somewhere and did whatever he wanted. Then we had that really good talk in the room before doing what we have done so many times lately and slept together. But that time, it just felt different. It awkened deeper feelings for you and being with you that night, it just felt right.

Being with you has been my saving grace. But when you were away i became a mess. My thoughts were getting darker, more twisted. I was starting to feel suicidal again, wanting to self harm all the time. I had so many days where i didnt even want to get out of bed. I stopped going to Dr Crowe, my therapist as i felt i wasnt making any more progress with her. Really stupid decision on my part, but i couldnt keep repeating myself to her. It was only when my head was turning so dark that i even considered putting myself in a mental hospital. I did some research and thats how i found Haven. I had to go. I had to get away for my own sanity.

I hated leaving the way i did. I hated not being able to tell anyone where i was going but it was the only way i could go without everyone trying to stop me. I hated leaving you and the girls, but i had to put myself first for once. Matt...i hate myself for feeling this way. I know that i have a ton of trust issues and trauma built up from over the years but im making some really good progress here and its starting to feel like a little bit of the old me is starting to come back.

Im sorry about the phone call. I thought i was ready to talk, Haytham, my therapist was with me. Hes been amazing with me, really delving into why i ended up the way i did. Hes been so supportive of me and my recovery, he thinks i could be out of here in a few weeks and be home by Christmas,which is what im aiming for. I could have also been released by the time you get this letter. When i am released, im going to spend a few days up here in Philly, as Haytham wants to make sure im ready and i need to make sure im 100 percent ready to come home, without you all smothering me.

Haytham has been really good to me and although he started off as my therapist, hes more than that now. Hes my friend and we do have a connection and im not sure if it could be something more, but i do want to find out. I cant just keep relying on you for a relationship or sex, no matter how much i love and care about you. We keep going round in circles, making the same mistakes. But this is a conversation we need to have face to face.

I do love you Matt but i needed this time to evaluate things. I'll call you when im home.

Tell Jas and Rubes that i love them and that i'll see them soon.

Love Always,

Wills.

"So shes in a psych ward because shes been having suicidal thoughts?" Matt said quietly as he reread the letter. "Are you in love with this Haytham? Is it legal? Even ethical?" he asked himself as there was a knock on the door. "You read it didnt you?" Adam asked as Matt opened the door. "I had to Ads. I had to know" Matt replied as Adam entered the house. "What did it say?" Adam asked as Matt told him the gist, minus the relationship stuff. "So who is this Haytham guy? Is he..." Adam asked as Matt shook his head. "I dont know. I just thought we were finally getting somewhere and she does this" he said before continuing "I just want her to be better, i want her here with the girls. I want her back" "We all do Matt. I know you love her and theres clearly something still there between you, we all saw it at the wedding. But you know that leaving wouldnt have been easy for her" Adam said before suggesting "Why dont you get some sleep, spend tomorrow with Jas and Rubes and maybe Friday we can all hang out?" Matt nodded as Adam left the house, leaving Matt all alone with his conflicted feelings, unaware that Willow was feeling the same way.

"Willow, are you sure youre ready to go?" Haytham asked as he watched Willow pack her things. "Im sure. Ive already stayed longer than i thought i would" she replied as she turned to face him. "I am however going to be staying in the area for a few more days. Theres something here i'd like to explore more and test out" she added, flirting with him. "Haytham, i know its unethical for you but i cant lie anymore. I like you, really like you" she said as he walked over to her. "It is unethical but i have to admit, i find you rather attractive and i like you too" he replied as he ran his fingers over her face "but we cant do anything until youre out of here" he added as Willow nodded. "Dinner tonight?" she asked, biting her lip. "Sounds good. I know a quiet little place. Want me to pick you up from your hotel? Say seven thirty?" He asked as Willow nodded, as he escorted her to the main desk, ready to be discharged. "This is my number. If you need anything over the next few days, text or call me" he said as he whispered "text me the hotel when you get there" as Willow nodded. "Thank you Haytham. For everything" she said, trying to act normal as she headed out of the hospital, towards her car and a hotel for the next few nights.

The hours flew by in the hotel as Willow settled in, before realising she had no outfit for dinner. She rushed out to a little boutique and bought a cute dress and heels before heading back to her room and running a bath. She turned on her cell for the first time in almost a month and was inundated with missed calls,texts, voicemails, emails from everyone back home. She deleted them all before stepping into the hot bath, clearing her mind. I do love Matt, but Haytham is new and exciting. I want to see where it leads she thought as she submerged herself under the water and exhaled. I know i dont know much about him, but im excited. Im also nervous. As she checked the time on her cell, she messaged Haytham her hotel and room number as she relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever.

Willow was sitting on the bed, fastening her shoes when there was a knock on the door. Willow smiled as she opened it and saw Haytham stood in front of it. "Hey, right on time" she said as she invited him into the room. "If theres one thing i am, is punctual" Haytham joked as he took Willows hand. "Ready to go eat?" he asked as Willow nodded as they left the room, and headed for Haythams car.

Willow and Haytham talked and flirted for hours. It wasnt until the restaurant was closing that they even knew what the time was. "Oh my, it's almost 11:30 Willow. Lets let these wonderful people get home shall we?" Haytham said as Willow smiled and nodded. "Im just going to go use the bathroom before we head off" she said as Haytham settled the bill. "Ready to get out of here?" she asked as she returned five minutes later as he passed her her jacket, before heading out into the cold. "Thank you for tonight Haytham. Its been a while since ive been out with someone like this" Willow said as they made their way to her room. "Its the same for me Willow. I may be alot older than you but we connected in a way ive not connected with anyone" Haytham replied as Willow smiled at him. "Well for a 50 year old, i have to admit ive wanted to do this for a few weeks now" she replied before kissing him. "Oh wow, i wasnt expecting that" he said as they pulled apart and Willow bit her lip. "Want to come in?" she asked as they reached her room. As they entered, Willow locked the door behind them and said "I...i dont usually do this" before kissing him again, only this time they ended up running their hands all over each others bodies, undressing as they fell into bed and slept together.