Chapter 12

All We Hold

Nozomi would come home and would still find it unreal to see Jugram at home. He would be sitting in his office working away at his computer or in the kitchen preparing a meal. His work was much easier since it was at work. Nozomi had no complaints and she would join him and work on her assignments. At first, he had insisted on taking and bringing Nozomi home, and as much as she liked the idea she preferred walking home. Sometimes, Nel would come home with her and even spend the night over. Nel didn't hover over Jugram as much, but her conversations were so endless that Jugram couldn't help but recognize the quiet in the house when she wasn't around.

"Is Nel not coming over today?" Jugram asked as Nozomi made her way through the back gate.

"No," she replied. "I think her uncles were starting to feel lonely without her, so they demanded that she come home."

"Demanded?" Jugram emphasized quizzically.

"Yes," Nozomi said. "Demanded not requested or asked."

"She has that effect on people, once she's around she's unforgettable."

Nozomi looked at her brother, questionably.

"It's not what you think," Jugram stated, touching the roses. "How's school?"

"In what ways?" Nozomi asked, entering the house and taking off her shoes.

"Academically, socially, mentally?" Jugram listed.

"Everything is fine, but this issue with what's happening is exhausting. How long do we have to live in fear?" Nozomi asked.

"Unfortunately, that is something I don't have the answers to," Jugram said. "I'm going to start bringing you home."

"Why?" Nozomi said.

"It's not safe and every time you leave, it makes me unsettled," Jugram replied.

"But, I don't walk alone. I came with Toshiro and Nel," Nozomi said.

"I know, and I agreed to allow you to walk to school with your friends so that one aspect of your life could feel normal, but as the days go by, it gets difficult." Jugram said.

"I'll be fine," Nozomi said. "You don't have to worry."

"Two girls were murdered from your school, there is plenty to worry," Jugram said.

"But, they were alone, I wasn't," Nozomi said.

"I'm sorry, but this isn't up for negotiation, I'll be taking you to school," Jugram said.

Nozomi stared at her brother. She didn't want to argue, he had a valid reason, but she still couldn't bring herself to agree to it.

"Nozomi, I can't risk losing you too," Jugram said firmly.

Nozomi looked at her brother and for the first time saw his vulnerabilities unwind. He didn't want to argue with her. He wanted her to understand the danger that lurked outside. If she was gone, he would have to live with the loss.

"Alright," Nozomi said, genuinely, but embarrassed from her inconsideration."But can we pick up Nel on the way?"

"Of course," Jugram said, brushing her bangs back from her face. "What about Toshiro?"

"He hates car rides. He likes to walk in the morning," Nozomi said. "But I'll ask."

"Alright," Jugram said, the tension in his body easing and the pressure being lifted from his shoulders.


Nozomi sat on the school lawn reading a book, but not particularly paying attention to it. Nel came over and sat next to her.

"How's the book?" Nel asked, placing her hand on the cover and looking at the front.

"It's good, but not really reading it," Nozomi said.

"What's wrong?" Nel asked.

"Nothing," Nozomi said.

"You sure?" Nel said. "You've been spaced out all day."

Nozomi didn't say anything, and nodded in agreement.

"I thought with Jugram back you would be a little more lifted?" Nel said. "But you've been so down."

"It's just what he said," Nozomi said. "He's been so tense lately, not expressively, but quietly."

"About?" Nel asked, keenly leaning in.

Nozomi looked over to her friend. "He's not over their deaths," Nozomi said. "He doesn't want to lose me either, but what are the chances of me being taken away? I don't mean to be stubborn, but everything feels so restricted."

Nel sighed and laid her head on Nozomi's shoulder.

"I sound like a brat," Nozomi chuckled.

"It's fine because it's suffocating." Nel said, admittedly.

Nozomi looked over.

"My uncles have been the same way," Nel said.

The girls looked over and saw the students scattered. They noticed the librarian, Jun, walking over to them. Nozomi groaned.

"Don't be like that," Nel said.

"I can't help it," Nozomi replied.

"I swear it's you and Ichigo that don't like him," Nel said.

"Ichigo?" Nozomi said, looking at her friend. "How would you know that?"

"Grimmjow told me," Nel said casually.

"Since when did you two get close for him to tell you that?" Nozomi said, eagerly.

"We're practically stuck together, so it came up when we saw Jun walking," Nel said.

"What else did he say?" Nozomi said.

Nel looked at her, and her eyes gleamed with mischief.

"About Ichigo?" Nel asked, giving her a grin. "Why?"

"No," Nozomi said, sitting back and looking away. "Ugh, Nel."

Nel laughed and watched Nozomi fiddle in discomfort.

Jun walked over and smiled over at the girls.

"Hello, ladies," he said politely.

"Hey, Jun," Nel replied, the smile still plastered on her face that appeared more radiant in the sun.

"I hope I haven't interrupted your conversation, but Nel I was hoping you could stop by the library to help sort the new books?" Jun asked.

Nozomi looked up at him quizzically.

"Why Nel?" Nozomi asked.

"You are more than welcome to come help too," Jun said smiling.

"I can't, I have class at that time," Nozomi said. "But Grimmjow can help, right?"

"I could ask," Nel replied, looking at Nozomi.

"Do you not trust me with your friend?" Jun asked, curiously.

"No," Nozomi said, sternly.

"Nozomi!" Nel hissed.

"Well, I'm hurt, but I admire your honesty. I'll see you then," Jun said, nodding at Nel."

"See you soon," Nel replied. As he walked away, Nozomi was met with a glare. "Why?"

"I'm not obligated to like everyone or to be friends with them," Nozomi replied.

"You're going to die alone," Nel said, her eyes popping out of her sockets. "Keep this up and you're going to scare away every potential suitor."

"Nel, he's old and I'm a minor, so there would be no way that would even happen," Nozomi replied.

"Valid point, but come on, he's nice and harmless," Nel said.

"He lingers and I don't like it," Nozomi said.

"Oh my god, I can't with you," Nel said, waving her hand.

"Okay, but why are you okay with Grimmjow being with me and not Jun?" Nel asked.

"Grimmjow is an open book, but Jun looks like he has hidden agendas," Nozomi said.

"Really?" Nel said, sighing and got up and brushed away the light dirt off her skirt and extended her hand to Nozomi.

"I'll come in during our last period to help too," Nozomi said, finally.

"What about your class?" Nel asked.

"We have a sub," Nozomi replied.

"Why didn't you say so earlier?" Nel asked.

"He would have lingered longer," Nozomi said. "Besides, the sooner you're done with it the sooner we can leave."

"Alright then, I guess I won't have to ask Grimmjow to come," Nel said.

"No, bring him," Nozomi insisted.

"Why?" Nel asked.

"Because, it's Grimmjow," Nozomi said. "If Jun says anything stupid, Grimmjow will counter it."

"Oh my god," Nel said, bewildered. "Just keep planning and scheming. You're just cooking up scenarios in your head."

"Is there anything else you would like requested?" Nel asked, sarcastically.

"Ear plugs," Nozomi replied, seriously.

Nel rolled her eyes and the girls headed to class as the bell rang.


Nozomi walked over to the library making it through all her classes. Outside the library, she saw Nel and Grimmjow, but also Ichigo. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him.

"You made it," Nel said, smiling at her.

"Broccoli head," Grimmjow said, looking at Nozomi.

"Excuse you," Nozomi said, glaring at him. "It's Nozomi."

"Don't take it personally, he calls Ichigo carrot top," Nel said, irritability.

Nozomi stared at her friend and wondered how much she knew about this group and why she wasn't told about it.

"But, don't refer to my friend as broccoli head," Nel said. "We talked about this."

Grimmjow ignored Nel and peered inside through the library windows.

"Where is this punk?" Grimmjow mumbled and looked over at Nel, "Don't you have access to the keys."

"I'm right behind you and she did but for safety reasons keys are restricted to students," a voice said.

The teens looked behind and saw Jun staring at them and walked to the door and unlocked it.

"And Nozomi, glad you could join us," Jun said.

Unintentionally, Nozomi moved beside Ichigo closely and he arched his eyebrow at her.

"Did ya hear him walk behind us?" Grimmjow asked, looking over to Ichigo.

Ichigo lightly shook his head. Grimmjow looked at Nozomi walking close to Ichigo. She was behind him and followed his momentum. There was clear mistrust and hesitation in her eyes for Jun, but a form of familiarity with Ichigo. Grimmjow narrowed his eyes on her.

"Grimmjow and Ichigo, can I have you move the boxes from the other entrance to the front desk," Jun said, flickering on the lights.

"And can I have you ladies start unpacking the three boxes, while I grab the labels that will be sealed on books," Jun instructed. The girls nodded and set their stuff down. Nozomi sat next to Nel.

The boys brought a couple boxes over and moved the rest to the back room. Jun decided that only a few could be done within the period. The boys moved over to the table, and Ichigo noticed Jun next to Nozomi who kept a blank expression, but was tense. She was focused on her task, but the movement of her body was awkward and cautious.

Jun smiled at her, as he gave her a book. Ichigo watched the beam in Jun's eyes light up, he sat close to her, a little too close to comfort that Grimmjow couldn't even help but notice. Ichigo moved his chair a little more and Grimmjow followed his movements.

"Aye, Nel move closer to me, Broccoli head doesn't have enough space," Grimmjow said.

Nozomi looked at Grimmjow in disbelief and Nel moved and clacked her chair too close to Grimmjow and started at him.

"Nozomi," Nel said, correcting him and repeating again. "Nozomi."

Nozomi moved over and it gave her enough breathing space. She looked at Ichigo with thankful eyes. He had moved his chair first to indicate the lack of space and her discomfort.

"You are so close," Jun stated to Nel and Grimmjow.

"I wouldn't say close, I would say comfortable in my position because as his prefect partner, I can't ignore his behavior or the environment I'm in," Nel stated.

"Aw, qualities of a leader," Jun said, smiling.

"What about you Nozomi?" Jun asked, "Do you lead or follow?"

Nel smiled and looked at her friend.

"That's a good question?" Nel said.

"Neither," Nozomi said. "I don't lead and I don't follow."

She looked at Jun with deep distaste, indicating that she had no interest in answering his curiosity with further explanation .

"Oh my," Jun said. "I was only making light conversation."

"There's a wall Jun," Nel said, reminding him.

"Apparently, I haven't gotten past it yet," Jun replied, easily without offense.

"What about you Grimmjow?" Nel asked. "Follower or leader?"

"Pfft, leader," Grimmjow said, nonchalantly. "But I can follow," he looked at Nel, mischievously and Nel couldn't help but blush.

Jun let out a laugh. Nozomi and Ichigo rolled their eyes.

"He must be quite a bit to manage," Jun said, calming from his laugh.

"This is what I have to deal with everyday," Nel sighed heavily and rolled her eyes.. "Ichigo, is he like this all the time?"

"Yes," Ichigo replied. "This is him settled at school, but outside rules don't apply."

"It's not a bad thing, I get shit done," Grimmjow said, casually.

Ichigo nodded in agreement.

"Oh my god, so you don't redirect him?" Nel said.

"No," Ichigo replied.

"Does Ulquiorra?" Nel pestered.

"Ulquiorra doesn't give two fucks," Grimmjow said.

"Language," Jun said. "Be mindful of language."

Grimmjow grinned and continued plastering the labels onto the books. Nozomi looked at Ichigo and couldn't help but wonder about Ichigo's personality. A leader or a follower, how would he lead with his silent demeanor and could he follow silently?

"What about you?" Nozomi said, looking at him. Ichigo looked at her and smirked at her.

"Ichigo?" Grimmjow said, amused.

"Never thought about it," Ichigo replied, truthfully.

"Leader," Grimmjow said, honestly. "He can be rebellious."

"Well that's not surprising," Nel said, curiously looking at him. "You're so quiet most of the time, but I could see it. I also noticed that you and Toshiro have been getting along."

"Yeah," Grimmjow said, emphasizing in agreement as he waved off the extra sticky label off his finger. His eyes flickering side to side with the movement of the stick label. "What's that about?"

"Aw, are you jealous, Grimmjow, that your closest friend is with someone else," Nel teased.

"I'm not jealous, I want to know," Grimmjow said, finally taking off the label his fingers.

Nozomi snorted and Grimmjow glared at her.

"Rivalry," Jun said, instigating the conversation.

"Toshiro's a good guy, he doesn't annoy me," Ichigo said, honestly.

"That's it?" Jun asked.

"Does there have to be more?" Ichigo asked, nonchalantly.

The group felt the tense remark from Ichigo. Jun ignored it and smiled innocently and Ichigo felt something he didn't want to feel. He didn't want to admit that this man riled up his thoughts and emotions to bitterness.

"Toshiro is sweet," Nozomi said, interjecting the silence. "He has that effect on people, he's a good guy, we grew up together," she continued, looking over at Ichigo.

"We did!" Nel emphasized. "He is so caring and loving, but it's only visible when he's around close friends and family."

"So, seeing him around you, it shows that he respects you," Nozomi said. "He is respectful to everyone, but it's acknowledgement. If that makes sense?"

Ichigo nodded.

"How would you know that?" Grimmjow asked.

"Because this is the first time Toshiro has ever had a prefect partner," Nozomi said, scuffing at him.

"Oh," Nel said, her eyes widening. "It is! I'm going to tease him," she laughed, looking at Ichigo.

"But doesn't he train students?" Jun asked, curious as well.

"Yes, but that's different because Toshiro will train but soon after evaluation he will separate from the trainee," Nel clarified. "Ichigo, your training is done and your evaluation has been processed. So you can work with another member if you like. But you weren't told because you two worked well together and I dragged it out and Toshiro didn't bring it up either which is my fault because I didn't tell him," Nel said, smiling, innocently.

"What was that about not abusing ya authoritative power?" Grimmjow said, remembering how she badgered him about a prefect's position.

Nel smirked. "I was evaluating because it's time that Toshiro had a partner," Nel said, wiggling her eyebrows at Ichigo.

Grimmjow looked over at Ichigo.

"It's fine," Ichigo said. "I have no problems with him. He did bring it up, but we left it to you."

Nozomi looked at him with keen interest. She wanted to ask him more and he was glancing at her curiously as well.

"Good," Nel said, happy with the outcome. "It all worked out."

The group continued to work through the boxes, Jun was impressed by their capability to work efficiently and effectively. By the time they were done, the bell rang and Jun smiled at them.

"I have no way to repay you back for your help, but I do have something," he said. "Hopefully, it will do for now."

He walked over to his desk and pulled out four cards and handed it to each student. They were gift cards to a cafe.

"When things settle, I hope you'll be able to use them when you're able to go out freely," he said, sincerely.

Ichigo looked at him, and as much as he didn't like the man. He tucked the card in his pocket. He wouldn't be using it, but he wouldn't make matters awkward. Nel thanked him and Grimmjow nodded at the card curiously. He never received a small reward, or a reward for a normal task and he felt strange by the gesture.

"Alright, I won't hold you any longer, your help was much appreciated," Jun said, excusing the group.

He smiled at Nozomi and she returned the smile, awkwardly.

"See he isn't that bad," Nel said. "Just an innocent Librarian."

Grimmjow tsked at Nel's positivity.

"If that's all it takes to win you over, I should buy you 50 of these," Grimmjow remarked.

Nel scuffed. She turned so fast and stomped on Grimmjow's foot.

"You seriously are no help," Nel growled.

Grimmjow looked at her foot as she smashed it down onto his shoe. Her eyes darkened and her gaze pierced at him. Ichigo didn't interject, but looked at Grimmjow's frozen expression. He wouldn't say it, but in some way this girl and Grimmjow were alike. Nozomi pulled Nel away and waved the boys away.

"She just stomped me," Grimmjow said, in disbelief. "No one has ever stomped on me."

"She's gutsy and clearly unafraid of you," Ichigo said, but his gaze trailed after Nozomi.