A/N: Kaworu's 'Unit 01' pun is completely invalid derived from an alternate literation of her name, ichi "one" plus –go [grammatical suffix for vehicles] making ichigo "strawberry".
19. Glad(ius)
Eat, drink, and be merry; for tomorrow we will have hangovers.
~
The sun shining in a cloudless sky; a picnic rug spread on a balcony, flush with repast; the plucked strings of a guitar, and glasses clinking together in celebratory chorus.
"Cheers!" "Cheers!" "Bottoms-up!" "Sköl!" "Waarrk!"
"That means 'cheers' in penguin," I translated, and the others laughed.
Pen-Pen 'waarrk'ed again.
"Yes, I know they don't believe me."
"What is the function of 'cheers'?" Rei asked.
"It means 'get sloshed'!" Toji replied helpfully.
Shinji laughed, and explained for her, "It literally means 'empty glass', but basically you just hold up your drink – or touch it to someone else's – and then take a sip."
"Everyone has to do it at the same time. It's a rule!" said Kensuke earnestly.
"A rule?" she repeated.
"Observe," I said (as though I myself had not learned the term relatively recently), and addressed the people gathered on Misato's balcony: "Cheers!"
Promptly, everyone present – even those not involved in the conversation at our end – repeated, "Cheers!" and held up their vessels as one, before unanimously imbibing.
Rei nodded. "I see."
"You try it," suggested Shinji.
"I can?"
"Yeah!"
She hesitated, than lifted her drink and looked shyly around. "Cheers?"
"Cheers!" came back the group's response, with a round of drinks, and at this validation Rei blinked in surprise, before a small smile appeared. She watched as the guests present at the party resumed their own chatter.
"Cheers?" she ventured again, and was rewarded with swift enjoinment. "Cheers!" a third time, and although there was a burst of good-natured laughter, the crowd obliged. She glowed.
"What have we started?" Shinji chuckled. "You used to not like being in big social groups, now look at you."
"Hey, nothin' wrong with people drinkin' more!" Toji declared. "It's a party – Ayanami gets it!"
"At least our drinks are not alcoholic," I said, and Shinji cast a concerned look at Misato, before unexpectedly shrugging.
"She was probably going to overdo it anyway."
Evidently having overheard him, Misato scowled. "So what? We have a lot to celebrate! All three pilots have successfully synched with Eva Unit 09 after only two weeks, that's amazing!"
The base of my neck itched in memory of the faint but piercing sensation I had felt during each of Shinji and Rei's unions with Unit 09, as though I had been the one accepting them…
"It really is amazing!" Kensuke agreed. "The efficacy of Tokyo-3's response capacity just got a huge boost!" The three lieutenants, seated near Misato, exchanged slightly-uncomfortable looks at his fervency; Lt Aoba's strumming of his guitar faltered momentarily.
Shinji demurred. "I mean, my synch rate was barely over the startup index – Kaworu's and Rei's were way better."
"Mine was only twenty points above yours, Ikari," Rei corrected him. She looked thoughtful a moment. "Unit 09 smells like Nagisa."
"It does?" I asked. Toji and Kensuke made matching 'whoa' expressions.
"Yeah," Shinji confirmed, and hid his blush by taking a gulp of his drink.
Kensuke adjusted his glasses. "Anyway, it's a big win for the Eva program. Congratulations on all your hard work too, Miss Misato," he added, and she raised her glass to him.
"Well thank you," she said, then gestured at the lieutenants. "Not as much as these guys, though."
"Oh – not at all," Hyuga disclaimed, his face red, but Aoba said drily, "When was the last time you actually took a whole day off? Didn't even log on from home?" and he conceded the point.
Ibuki spoke up loyally, "I don't think anyone's working as hard as Doctor Akagi though, she's always on site. I think she's slept there a couple of times!" Turning to Misato, she asked, "Is she going to come today?" A light blush dusted her cheekbones.
Misato shrugged. "I doubt it. I invited her, but she brushed me off again."
"Maybe we should get Commander Fuyutsuki to order her to take some time off," suggested Aoba, only half jokingly.
"Yeah, or just drag her away from her desk – in handcuffs would be the only way," said Hyuga, with a smirk at Ibuki, who reddened further and hurriedly downed the rest of her drink. Aoba snickered, and played a sequence of sultry-sounding chords.
Meanwhile, Shinji had noticed that the food was running low, and started collecting empty plates. "Does anyone want more takoyaki? We made heaps."
"Yeah, thanks!" said Kensuke. "Ooh, you got any of those croquettes left?"
"I need a gyoza hit!" Toji announced. "Else my leg'll fall off. –Oh crap, it's already started! Hurry!" Rei looked alarmed.
"Truly time is of the essence," I said, and got to my feet (my own injuries were at last healing, and I was celebrating my regained mobility). "I accept this crucial quest, as your minion." Toji high-fived me.
"Hm, what else…" Kensuke pondered, and they put their heads together to confer.
"It's okay," Shinji tried to protest, as I followed him into the kitchen. "I can manage…"
"I did not accompany you for hospitable reasons," I said, and he looked confused for a moment, before—
"Oh! Oh," and, his hands occupied with plates, he nevertheless stepped into my space and tilted his chin up invitingly. I crooked a finger underneath it and pressed the lightest kiss to his lips.
"Mm. Strawberry," I announced, "appropriate for the pilot of Unit 01."
"That was terrible," he giggled, and brushed his nose against mine. "But yeah, I was drinking strawberry ramune – what about you?"
Without waiting for an answer he kissed me back, much deeper, but before his investigation could conclude there was the sound of a crash behind us.
We spun around, and there at the kitchen doorway – on the floor, surrounded by fallen papers and books – were Kensuke and Toji.
Shinji went white.
"Are you all right?" I dashed over to them, and took Toji's arm to help him upright – when Shinji joined me we were able to lift him onto a chair, and he realigned his prosthetic with a clunk that made the rest of us flinch.
But he did not seem to be in pain, instead staring at Shinji and I.
"How—" Shinji stammered, "how long – did you—"
"Were you spying on us?" I asked. The two of them spluttered.
"Whuh? Nuh-uh!" Toji held up his hands. "Ken mighta been, but not me!"
"Hey, you were def—anyway!" Kensuke blustered, "you're in the kitchen, anyone could walk in and see – and see … y'know…"
As if to prove his point, at that moment Hyuga stuck his head around the doorframe. "Hey, Shinji? Where's the…?"
"Oh – down the hall," Shinji answered automatically. "Last door on the right."
"Thanks!"
As soon as he was gone, Toji grabbed the front of Shinji's shirt.
"What the hell, Ikari? How do you live with Misato and decide you want to kiss a dude?"
"Not to mention Soryu!" added Kensuke, violently claiming a sleeve for himself. "Are you insane or just blind? Gonna bring you to my next optometrist appointment, get your eyes checked. No offence, Kaworu," he added to me, and "Yeah, noffence," Toji agreed.
"None taken," I replied reflexively.
Shinji's face had coloured and he was looking back and forth between them, before evidently deciding the floor was a better option. "Um … I … w-we … uh…"
"That's it," Toji said, and Shinji flinched; "Eva pilots are officially the weirdest."
"You were an Evangelion pilot," I reminded him.
"Yeah, for like five minutes."
Kensuke's palm landed on my collarbone, making me stagger. "So that's why you turned Sugimoto down! Makes sense now." I started to correct him, then realised in hindsight that he was not exactly wrong. "What about you, Ikari?" he then asked. "Do you only like guys now, or what?"
"Hey, did you ever check out any of the guys in our class?" Toji interjected. At Shinji's furious headshake he suddenly looked offended. "How come? You saying I'm not fit? I'm totally fit!" As he bent his arms, flexing the biceps, Kensuke cackled with laughter.
Shinji shrunk into himself. "It's not like that," he protested weakly. "I just – I guess I just like Kaworu the most…"
Kensuke and Toji regarded me with identical expressions of unflattering disbelief, and despite their earlier words I felt that I had definite grounds for offence.
Eventually Kensuke shrugged, hands palm-up in surrender. "Well, it makes no goddamn sense, but. You're my buds, and I guess I'm happy for you … weirdos."
"Yeah," Toji agreed, and tapped an affectionate punch to Shinji's arm. "Times like this, you gotta hang onto good things an' happiness where you can."
"That's surprisingly profound," I observed.
"Oi, waddya mean, 'surprisingly'?" His punch to my arm was less affectionate.
"I gotta say though," Kensuke snickered, "if you guys are trying to keep it on the downlow, you're doing a kinda crap job." Toji guffawed.
"What is 'the downlow'?" I asked.
"Keeping it secret," Toji explained, "so not like me an' Hikari."
"Ah," I inferred, "due to the expected negative social consequences of being known to experience attraction to one's own gender." After a blank moment, three nods. "I think you may be right. We can try to be more discreet," I addressed Shinji, "if you would prefer?"
He shifted uncomfortably, an expression of guilt crossing his face. "Um. I'm sorry. It – it's not like I'm ashamed or anything, I just – I don't like getting that kind of attention – and this is new to me…"
"I understand," I said, and squeezed his hand. "It is new to me also." Though mostly I was proud of myself for being able to interpret so much – I could claim to have made some progress in understanding Lilim sociology, at least in the abstract.
Toji had taken a deep breath and was pinching the bridge of his nose. "Hey guys, so you know, if anybody got a problem wit' youse they got a problem wit' me. But."
Suddenly his finger was pointing severely in my face at immediate proximity, making my eyes cross. "'Social consequences'," he echoed; "you are such a weirdo and YOU—" the finger now menaced Shinji; "—are such a weirdo for being into his weirdo-ness."
"Both true," I admitted cheerfully, and Shinji turned a betrayed look on me. "Hey…"
Toji's finger returned to confront me again. "Also if you hurt him you're toast."
I raised an eyebrow. "What if he hurts me?"
A shrug of indifference. "Eh."
"Rude."
"I can take care of myself," Shinji complained.
"Yeah, but you shouldn't have to," said Kensuke. "We're your friends, that's the deal."
Shinji looked overwhelmed. "You guys…"
"Oh!" Toji said suddenly, making us all jump. "Can I tell Hikari?"
"I suspect she already knows," I said, "since Asuka is the least discreet person any of us will ever meet." Shinji chuckled.
"Good," said Toji, "then we can go on a triple date."
"Triple?"
"Yeah, Ken can bring his dakimakura."
His smirk disappeared beneath a seat cushion deployed at high speed. Grappling ensued.
My quizzical look at Shinji met an expression of extreme awkwardness, but before I could ask, he stammered a change of topic.
"Um, guys?" he addressed our friends (who seemed to be competing to get their fingers further up each other's nostrils). "Thanks for being cool about this, I was really worried…"
"Nah man, don't even think about it!" said Kensuke, managing to free his face from Toji's grasp. "We don't have to understand you to have your back."
Toji muttered something into Kensuke's palm that sounded like "waifu life-u," before likewise lifting his chin to address us: "Plus, I know how much Hikari's helped me deal with … y'know, all this—" he gestured at his leg, and the seriousness of his expression contrasted with the squirming of his shoulders as Kensuke dug tickling fingers under his armpits; "—even though I can't see her much, just being able to talk to her an' that. So with everythin' you guys go through, this has gotta help, right?"
At our assenting nods, he continued, "And Shinji, I never seen you so happy. Literally, ever."
"For sure!" Kensuke seconded. "Since Kaworu got here, really, but even more this last couple of weeks. –Oh! I just remembered – hah, we really should've figured this out earlier."
"Huh? How?" Toji asked.
"The first day we met Kaworu, it was really windy, right? And we were getting some primo panty peeks 'cause it was messing with the girls' skirts, but Ikari was just like, 'oh, there's Kaworu'."
Toji guffawed. "Yeah, I remember! But he was too socially fail to just go over an' say hi like a normal person, so I had to yell out. I mean," he admitted, "I prob'ly woulda anyway, but still. Yer welcome," to Shinji, "again."
Shinji scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Thanks … again."
I felt like I could have floated through the ceiling from happiness alone.
At that moment Rei appeared in the doorway, and her solemn expression drained my joy immediately.
"We are going to Headquarters," she said without preamble; "Major Katsuragi has received word of a possible attack."
"Another Angel?" chorused Toji and Kensuke.
"Or Eva," suggested Hyuga, returning to the kitchen. "There's still Units 05, 07, 10, 11…"
They both blanched in alarm.
"It might not be anything," said Misato as she entered from the balcony, followed by the remaining lieutenants. "The intel wasn't a hundred percent, but we have to take all precautions."
"We'll tell our families to get to the shelters," said Kensuke.
"Can you tell Sakura's hospital to bunker down?" Toji asked Misato, who smiled reassuringly.
"Of course. At the least we'll get them on first-stage readiness. Kaworu and Rei," she addressed us, "you can come with me and Shinji."
"I'll drive us to HQ," Aoba said to his colleagues.
"Will there be space in your car?" Ibuki asked dubiously.
He looked offended. "I left the drum kit at home and took the amps out."
"And put the back seats back in?"
"Um … I think so?"
She and Hyuga exchanged exasperated looks as they followed him from the apartment.
Our own journey was adequately facilitated by Misato's own car, which although diminutive in size at least boasted a full complement of seats. As we drove she passed her phone to Shinji on the passenger side.
"If 'Blümchen' messages, open it and read it out to me."
"Blümchen?" he repeated.
"Is that your 'pet' name for Kaji?" I asked, not bothering to conceal my amusement.
She flushed. "No comment. Anyway, he's the one who sent me the tip-off."
"He has been digging around a lot lately," I agreed.
"Of course. Matsushiro and Mumbai's plot took him totally by surprise." Though her focus was on the road, distress wrung at her voice. "Even more than China, or France and the UK, he hates that he didn't see it coming, and we were in danger. You nearly died, Kaworu."
"As did you," I reminded her, though my thoughts were on the dark hollows under Kaji's eyes when I had last seen him that morning. "I thought his support of me during my recuperation had been simple compassion – I had not perceived guilt in his motives." (And my comprehension of Lilim psychology remained stronger in the general than the specific…)
"He cares about you a lot," said Misato, "and you're a kid – no adult is ever really okay with kids being in danger. Goes against the grain." She frowned at the road and accelerated hard – I knew she referred also to herself.
"Then he can make dinner tonight," I decreed. "Shinji, if he messages, tell him I would like crêpes."
Shinji laughed. "Sure thing. –Oh, it's him!" He unlocked Misato's phone and began reading aloud, "Darling melon-squish—"
"Oh my god stop!" Misato snatched the phone from him, her face scarlet. "Geez, I thought he was going to be professional, or at least decent…"
"And you've known him how long?" Shinji asked sardonically.
"Shaddup."
We made it to NERV without further scandal, to find the human decision-makers subjugated in frustration to the artificial.
"The MAGI won't make a call," Dr Akagi was saying as we reached the bridge. "There are too many gaps in the long-range mesh, in too many directions. We need to narrow it down, but for that we need more info."
"I'm not sortieing without a clear decision," Commander Fuyutsuki said. "We're still too exposed – only half the Geofront's armour layers have been repaired after the assault by Units 12 and 13."
"But if something is coming," said Misato, "and we can't intercept before it reaches the city, it'll be that much closer, and narrow our window of defence."
"Activate the Evas," the Commander ordered, "but keep them on standby until we have a better picture. Have fast-fire transports ready to go at all cardinals, at multiple emergences."
"Unit 09 hasn't had standardised fittings for the subsurface logistical network," noted Akagi. "We'll send Kaworu in Unit 02 to take point. Unit 00 will support, and because Unit 01 is still damaged from the last fight, Shinji, you'll be on backup."
"Yes ma'am," he said, though as always he was clearly unhappy about his friends going into danger ahead of him.
"Get ready, you three," Fuyutsuki addressed us all, and we headed off.
"Should I wear one of the red plugsuits?" I asked Shinji, trying to lighten his mood, and he laughed and blushed.
Rei looked nonplussed. "Why would you require it? Your synch ratio is as high as Soryu's best."
"Call it curiosity," I said. Shinji buried his face in his hands.
By the time we had changed out of our casual clothes (I stuck with my usual dark blue suit, and was unsure whether Shinji was relieved or disappointed), the MAGI had not yet come to a decision; when all three Evangelions were initialised and ready for deployment, ambiguity yet reigned.
Minor gaps and blackouts had begun to appear in NERV's surveillance network almost as soon as Kaji's warning had reached Misato – hardly more than standard equipment fallibility, and without his word the trend might have been missed. But as time wore on, the movements of satellites and gauges – or the silences where they should have been – eventually resolved into a blind alley, pointed due south directly at Tokyo-3.
# Get Unit 02 on track five and fire! # snapped Misato. # Exit three! #
No sooner had my Evangelion been shunted onto the launchpad than we were off, metal roaring around me.
# Unit 00 next, then 01! Send the glaive and the sniper rifle to C-404! Kaworu, expand your field as soon as you're above ground! #
"Roger," I said, and as daylight rapidly approached I braced myself.
We surfaced in Aomori Gorge, just beyond the northern suburbs – too hurried to exit properly, the clamps simply released at the end of the line and Unit 02 was propelled into the air. My eyes had barely adjusted to daylight before the far side of the valley rushed up to meet me, and I managed a heavy landing – that felt almost liable to dislocate knees or hips – without losing my surrounding view.
A good thing, as the enemy was almost upon us.
Unit 11's wings were spread in a glide and it was low to the ground, but a white cloud of compressed air formed around it as it broke the sound barrier, arrowing towards me.
I boosted Unit 02's AT field and crouched; just before we collided I slammed upwards with double-hammer fists and Unit 11 crumpled. My shoulders howled in protest as the juggernaut force cratered into my Evangelion – we were driven backwards, gouging trenches in the earth, and though both of Unit 02's knees hit the ground, by sheer force of will I managed to keep us upright.
"That's enough," I panted, and as soon as I had my footing again I fired a full set of pylon spikes into Unit 11's face.
It swayed back, and now with room to manoeuvre I delivered a kick that was more a shove, sending it end-over-end.
# Unit 02, I'm here, # came Rei's voice, as Unit 00 emerged from the linear rail. Even as she expanded her own AT field she collected the spear Misato had sent and threw it over to me, before drawing her pistol and taking aim at our stunned opponent.
"Much appreciated," I smiled, and levelled my own weapon in readiness.
Unit 11 seemed to regard us both from its sprawl, before inverting itself to all fours, rocking its weight to each limb in turn. It shuffled backwards.
# Unit 01 in position, # Shinji reported, # rifle loaded and ready. # Rei and I moved out of his line of fire.
# Do you have a shot on its entry plug? # called Misato.
# Not a clear one. #
"I'll see if I can help with that," I said. "Rei, cover barrage please."
# Roger. #
As I set Unit 02 into a run, her volley burst across Unit 11's torso; less damaging than distracting, it diverted it from preparing for my assault.
Rei had hit high – I went low, sweeping the blade of my weapon at the other Evangelion's wrist and ankle on the side closest to me. Though it scrambled backward in time to save its foot, the hand was severed.
Or at least I thought it was – I was sure my blade had cut through truly, and saw the hand fall away, but a moment later the limb was whole, and its fingers flexed.
No time to think; as I spun the glaive for a return blow, Unit 11 leapt at me.
I was already side-stepping into a strike stance and could not dodge in time – I blocked with the spear's haft, but Unit 11 grabbed hold of the weapon and wrenched it down. As I tried to recover, suddenly like a striking snake it threw itself teeth-bared at my throat.
At the last moment I managed to interpose Unit 02's elbow, and the gaping jaws clamped shut on the limb. The armour splintered; violet gushed from Unit 11's mouth and a ragged cry burst from me as Unit 02's arm was crushed.
# Kaworu! # cried Shinji.
A hail of gunfire as Rei emptied her clip, but Unit 11 barely flinched.
"Damn you," I groaned, and grabbed the back of its head and dragged us together. "Shinji, get ready!"
I dropped Unit 02 in a fall that threw Unit 11 on top of us, in the process exposing the back of its neck to the sniper.
# Got it! # he yelled, and fired.
The bullet punched straight through the top of the spinal column – for an instant light was visible all the way through.
Unit 11 froze; its bite went slack and Unit 02's mangled arm dropped free.
# Yes! # Shinji whooped.
# Got it! # Misato cheered.
Then Unit 11's jaws peeled open; a gleaming protrusion – its tongue? no, a blade! – and the Evangelion reached up and extracted it and held it aloft, ready to strike.
# It's not dead, # Rei said, her voice blank with shock.
# What? How? # demanded Shinji.
# Hit it again! # Misato ordered. # Kaworu, get out of there! #
Shinji fired a second time – Unit 11 wavered but held up – a liquid ripple rolled across its surface, half-dislodging the armour plates, and the blood that vomited from the bullet hole was viscous and dark.
Unit 00 was beside me, grabbing Unit 02's uninjured arm and hauling me free. Though a haze of pain I snatched up the spear and readied it to stab.
But Unit 11 took its knife and sank it into its own chest.
Around the blade there was a glow somehow both magnesium-flare bright and utter pitch dark. And in the second before the world blinked away I saw a matching double glow-abyss from our other three Evangelions.
A horrendous lurch in the centre of my chest; then there was nothing.
