Shareen vs the Universe
Costello, Smith and Jones
Thanks to dyygmunt9, thatshawkward, SpeckledOne, justanotheradaption, jtcat305 and philly76 for favoriting and following this story.
23-year-old medical student Martha Jones walked cheerfully along Chancery Street on her way to work. Suddenly, her phone rang, and she saw that the call was from her sister Tish. "You're up early." Martha said as she answered, "What's happening?"
"It's a nightmare, cos' dad won't listen, and I'm telling you, mum is going mental." Tish moaned, "Swear to God, Martha, this is epic. You've gotta get in there and stop him."
"How do I do that?" Martha questioned. Lately, it seemed that the whole family was turning to her to play peacemaker. Their dad, Clive, had recently leaved his wife, Francine, for some tart called Annalise, which had caused a lot of friction in the family, which Martha had to try and ease out.
"Tell dad he can't bring her." Tish replied
Just then, Martha's phone bleeped, indicating that another call was on the line. She checked the screen to see that it was the youngest Jones sibling, Leo. "Hold on, that's Leo. I'll call ya back." Martha said to Tish, then answered Leo's call.
"Martha, if mum and dad start to kick off, tell 'em I don't even want a party." Leo said, "I didn't even ASK for one. They can always give me the money instead."
"Yeah, well, why do I have to tell them?" Martha huffed, "Why can't you?" But before Leo could answer, Martha's phone bleeped again. Her screen showed that this call was from Francine. "Hold on, that's mum. I'll call ya back." And she answered the call
"I don't mind your father making a fool of himself in private." Francine grumbled, "But this is Leo's 21st. Everyone is going to be there, and the entire family is going to look ridiculous."
"Mum, it's a party." Martha sighed, "I can't stop dad from bringing his girlfriend." And in a case of talk of the devil, her phone bleeped yet again. This time it was Clive. "Hold on, that's dad. I'll call ya back." And she answered his call.
"Martha? Now tell ya mother, Leo is MY son. And I'm paying for half that party." Clive said, "I'm entitled to bring who I like."
"I know, but think what's it gonna look like for mum if you're standing there with Annalise?" Martha reasoned
"What's wrong with Annalise?" Clive huffed
At that moment, Martha heard the nasally, air-headed voice of Annalise. "Is that Martha? Say hi. Hi, Martha, hi!"
"Hi, Annalise." Martha rolled her eyes. To be honest, neither she nor her siblings could stand the woman. Annalise was a spoilt gold digger, only interested in his money. Everyone could see it except Clive, who was too infatuated to see it.
"Big kiss! Lots of love! See you at the party babes." Annalise called into the phone, "Now take me shopping, big boy." That line was clearly meant for Clive.
Martha just laughed and hung up. She did not need to hear that!
Suddenly, a tall brown-haired man in a brown pinstripe suit and long coat stepped in front of her. "Like so!" he said, taking his tie off. "See!" He draped the tie around the shoulders of a young raven-haired woman who had just joined him, and they both walked off.
Martha stared after them bemused for a moment, then she continued on her way. She soon reached the Royal Hope Hospital and was just walking up to the front doors when a man dressed in black biker gear complete with helmet barged past her. "Oi! Watch it, mate." Martha called after him. He turned to look at her for a moment, his face obscured by his visor, then he walked off inside the building. Martha felt a little unsettled but shrugged it off and went off inside herself. She went into the staff locker room and swapped her denim jacket for a white lab coat. She went to close the locker door, only to receive a static shock. She frowned at that, then tried again, receiving no shock this time.
~8~
Presently, Martha and her fellow students were being led around the wards by the senior consultant, Bryan Stoker. On their rounds, they stopped by the bed of a pensioner, Florence Finnegan. "I was alright till this morning." Miss Finnegan told Mr Stoker, "And then, I don't know, I woke up and I felt all dizzy again. It was worse than when I came in."
Mr Stoker checked her pulse. "Pulse is slightly thready." he noted, then turned to the students. "Well, let's see what Britain's finest might suggest. Any ideas, Morgenstern?"
"Er, dizziness could be a symptom of early-onset diabetes." Oliver Morgenstern answered uncertainly
"Hardly early-onset." Mr Stoker snorted, "If you'll forgive me, Miss Finnegan. Any more ideas? Swales?"
"Erm, could recommend a CT scan?" Julia Swales suggested
"And spend all our money?" Mr Stoker scoffed. "Jones?"
"We could take blood and check for Menire's disease." Martha offered
"Or we could simply ask the patient." Mr Stoker said simply, then turned to Miss Finnegan. "What did you have for dinner last night?"
"I had salad." Miss Finnegan answered
"And the night before?"
"Salad again."
"And salad every night for the past week, contrary to my instructions." Mr Stoker said, then turned back to the students. "Salt deficiency, that's all. Simple, honest salt."
~8~
Mr Stoker led the group out to another ward, giving a lecture in the process. "Hippocrates himself expounded on the virtues of salt. Recommend the inhalation of steam from sea water. Though, no doubt if he'd been inflicted with my students, his oaths might have been rather more colourful."
Martha's attention was caught by the biker she'd seen earlier, standing by the lift. The lift door opened, and another man dressed in the exact same outfit stepped out and joined his mate, then they both walked on. Martha watched them go, feeling a certain uneasiness about them, then dismissed it and went off after her colleagues into the recovery ward.
Mr Stoker led the way to one of the beds. "Now then, Mr Smith, good morning to you." he said, pulling the curtains aside to reveal the man who had approached Martha on Chancery Street sitting in the bed. The young woman who had been with the man in the street was there too, sitting on a bedside chair reading a gaming magazine. "How are you today?" Mr Stoker asked the man.
"Oh, not so bad." Mr Smith answered, "Still a bit, ya know, bleuch!"
"John Smith, admitted yesterday with severe abdominal pains." Stoker explained to the students. "Jones, why don't you see what you can find? Amaze me!"
Martha moved over to John. "That wasn't very clever running round outside, was it?" she told him
"Sorry?" John frowned
"On Chancery Street this morning?" Martha reminded, "You came up to me and took your tie off."
"Really? What did I do that for?" John asked cluelessly
"Buggered if I know." the young woman sitting next to him shrugged, "I don't know what goes through that skull of yours."
"You just did." Martha told John, "And then you put it on her."
"Not me." John insisted, "I was here in bed. Ask the nurses, ask Shareen." He gestured to the woman.
"Yeah, we've been nowhere near Chancery Street." Shareen agreed
"That's weird." Martha frowned, "Cos' it looked like you two. And you were wearing different clothes." she said to Shareen. On Chancery Street, Shareen had been wearing a hoodie and leggings. Now, she was wearing a leather jacket and jeans.
"Nope, been wearing these all morning." Shareen said.
At that moment, an impatient Mr Stoker cut in. "As time passes and I grow ever more infirm and weary, Miss Jones."
"Sorry." Martha mumbled and pulled out her stethoscope. She placed it on the left-hand side of John's chest. She heard a strange heartbeat. She moved the scope to the other side of his chest and heard another heartbeat. This man had two hearts. She stared at him. He just winked at her, while Shareen shot him an annoyed look.
"I weep for future generations." Mr Stoker spoke up, "Are you having trouble locating the heart, Miss Jones?"
Martha snapped out of her disbelief. "Urm, I don't know. Stomach cramps?" she offered
"That is a symptom, not a diagnosis." Mr Stoker rolled his eyes. "And you rather failed basic techniques by not consulting first with the patient's chart." He picked up the chart from the end of the bed, only to drop it as he received a static shock.
"That happened to me this morning." Martha noted
"I had the same thing on the door handle." Morgenstern added
"And me, on the lift." Swales put in
"Well, it's only to be expected." Mr Stoker dismissed. "There's a thunderstorm moving in, and lightening is a form of static electricity, as was first proven by... anyone?" he tested his students
"Benjamin Franklin." John answered
"Correct."
"My mate Ben. That was a day an' a half." John began to ramble, "I got rope burns off that kite, an' then I got soaked."
"Quite." Mr Stoker raised an eyebrow
"An' then I got electrocuted!" John remarked
Mr Stoker looked to Shareen, who made a cuckoo gesture with her hand. "Moving on." he said to his students and led them away. "I think perhaps a visit from psychiatric." he said aside to them.
~8~
Presently, Martha and Swales were on their lunch break. Martha had called Tish up again to sort out what they were going to do tonight. "No, listen, I've worked out a plan." Martha said, "We tell Annalise that the buffet is 100% carbohydrate, and she won't turn up!"
"I wish you'd take this seriously." Tish answered, "That's our inheritance she's spending. On fake tan! Tell ya what, I'm not that far away, I'll meet you for a sandwich. We can draw up a battle plan."
"What, in this weather?" Martha scoffed, looking at the rain hammering down outside, "I'm not going out, it's pouring down."
"It's not raining here." Tish said, "God, that's weird. It's raining right on top of you, I can see it, but it's dry where I am."
"Well, you just got lucky." Martha replied
"No, but it's like in cartoons, ya know where a man's got a cloud over his head."
"Yeah, but listen." Martha got back on topic, turning away from the window, "I'll tell you what we'll do." She paused when she saw John Smith walk past in his dressing gown. He glanced at the rain outside then walked on. "We tell dad and Annalise to get there early, about 7:30." Martha continued, "And we tell Leo to get there at the same time to do all the birthday stuff. We tell mum to get there for about 8:30, 9:00, then that gives me time to have a word with Annalise and..." She was interrupted by Swales tapping her arm. "What?"
"The rain." Swales murmured
"It's only rain." Martha dismissed, then went back to her phone call.
"Martha, have you seen the rain?" Tish asked, sounding worried
"Why's everyone fussing about rain?" Martha scoffed
"It's going up." Swales said
"The rain is going UP." Tish added
Martha looked out of the window, and sure enough, the rain was going upwards. Suddenly, there was a bright flash outside and the building shook violently, throwing both Martha and Swales to the floor. After what seemed like an age, the shaking stopped. "What the hell was that?" Martha gasped
"Are you alright?" Swales asked
"I think so, yeah." Martha panted, getting to her feet, "It felt like an earthquake or..."
"Martha, it's night." Swales gasped, looking at the window. It was dark outside. "But it was lunchtime."
"It's not night." Martha said, moving closer to the window.
"But it's got to be." Swales protested, getting up as well, "It's dark."
"We're on the moon." Martha realised, looking out of the window at the barren, rocky surface outside.
"Can't be." Swales gasped
"We're on the bloody moon!" Martha insisted. And they were. The entire hospital had been scooped off Earth and placed on the lunar surface.
~8~
As was natural for the Human race, panic set in and everyone started screaming and running around like headless chickens. The young woman who was with John Smith, Shareen, stood at the window looking out at the lunar surface outside. "Cosmic." she muttered to herself, "Cos-bloody-mic!"
Just then, Martha and Swales entered the ward. "Alright now, everyone, back to bed." Martha calmly told the panicking patients, "We've got an emergency, but we'll sort it out. Don't worry." She went over to join Shareen at the ward's window. "It's real." she breathed, looking out at the lunar surface, "It's really real! Hold on." And she reached for the window handle.
"Don't!" Swales protested, "We'll lose all the air!"
"But they're not exactly airtight." Martha reasoned, "If the air was gonna get sucked out, it would have happened straight away. But it didn't, so how come?"
Just then, the curtains to John Smith's bed flew open to reveal him dressed in a blue pinstripe suit and burgundy converse high tops. "Very good point." he said, "Brilliant, in fact. What was your name?" he asked Martha
"Martha." she answered
"And it was Jones, wasn't it?" John queried
Martha nodded
"Well then, Martha Jones." John said, "Question is, how're we still breathing?"
"We can't be!" Swales blustered
"Then aren't we dead?" Shareen asked rhetorically
"Martha, what've we got?" John asked, "Is there a balcony on this floor, or a veranda, or..."
"By the patients' lounge, yeah." Martha replied
"Fancy going out?" John asked her
"Ok."
"We might die." John said seriously
"We might not." Martha answered simply
"Good! Come on." John said, starting to lead the way, "Not her, she'd hold us up." He pointed to the sobbing Swales.
"Oi, leave her alone!" Shareen scolded as she and Martha followed him, "Not everyone can be heartless robots like you!"
~8~
The trio soon reached the patients' lounge. Martha cautiously opened the doors to the balcony. "We've got air!" she noted, "How does that work?"
"Just be glad it does." John said, stepping up to the end of the balcony.
"I've got a party tonight." Martha said, the gravity of the situation hitting her, "My brother's 21st. My mother's gonna be really..." She tailed off
"You ok?" Shareen asked her
"Yeah." Martha nodded
"Ya sure?"
"Yeah."
"D'ya wanna go back in?" John asked
"No way. I mean, we could die any minute, but all the same... it's beautiful."
"You think?"
"How many people wanna go to the moon?" Martha asked rhetorically. "And here we are."
"Standing in the Earthlight." John agreed
"This is gonna be a hell of a story to tell if we get out of this alive." Shareen remarked
"What do you two think happened?" Martha asked them
"What d'you think?" John countered
"Extra-terrestrial." Martha answered, "Got to be. I dunno, a few years ago that would've sounded mad, but these days... That spaceship flying into Big Ben, the last two Christmases, those Cybermen things. I had a cousin, Adeola, she worked at Canary Wharf. She never came home." she finished sadly
"I'm sorry." John said empathetically
"I knew Addy." Shareen said, putting an arm around Martha's shoulder, "She was a good person. I'm sorry I couldn't save her."
"We were there." John elaborated, "In the battle."
"I promise you, Mr Smith." Martha began, "Miss...?"
"Costello." Shareen answered
"I promise you, Mr Smith, Miss Costello, we will find a way out." Martha said determinedly, "We can travel to the moon, then we can travel back. There's gotta be a way."
"It's not Smith, that's not my real name." John said
"Who are you, then?" Martha asked
"I'm the Doctor."
"Me too, if I ever past my exams." Martha laughed, "What is it, then, Dr Smith?"
"Just the Doctor." he said simply
"How d'you mean, 'just the Doctor'?" Martha questioned
"Just... the Doctor."
"What, people call you 'the Doctor'?" Martha raised a brow
"Yeah."
"And I call him 'Peacock'." Shareen said
"Why?" Martha asked
"Cos' he's as vain as a peacock." Shareen smirked
"Well, I'm not calling him 'the Doctor'." Martha said, "Far as I'm concerned, you've gotta earn that title."
"I'd better make a start, then." the Doctor remarked. "Let's have a look." He picked up a stone off the floor. "There must be some sort of..." He chucked the stone, which bounced off an invisible barrier in the air. "... forcefield. Keeping the air in." the Doctor finished
"But if that's like a bubble, sealing us in." Martha frowned, "That means this is the only air we've got. What happens when it runs out?"
"How many people in this hospital?" the Doctor asked
"Dunno, a thousand." Martha answered
"One thousand people. Suffocating." the Doctor said grimly
"What kind of sick alien bastard would do that?!" Shareen burst out
At that moment, they heard a roaring from above. "Heads up! Ask 'em yourself." the Doctor remarked as three cylindrical spaceships flew overhead and landed in front of the hospital. Hatches opened and several lines of figures marched out of the ships and towards the hospital.
"Aliens." Martha breathed, "That's aliens. Real, proper aliens."
"Judoon." the Doctor said, his tone indicating that this wasn't good news at all.
~8~
All over the hospital, people could only watch as the Judoon marched closer. People in reception screamed and ran as the Judoon simply walked straight through the forcefield and entered the building. Most people dived for cover behind chairs as the Judoon continued their advance, past a bewildered Morgenstern. Suddenly, they stopped in the middle of the room. One Judoon, clearly the leader, removed it's helmet, revealing a rhinoceros head underneath. "Bo scro fo do no kro blo co sho ro!" he announced, and the others pointed guns at the terrified Humans.
Morgenstern cautiously stepped forward. "Um, we are citizens of planet Earth." he began hesitantly, "We welcome you in peace." The Judoon leader turned to him and pushed him back against the wall, then pointed a device at him "Please, don't hurt me." he whimpered, "I was just trying to help. I'm sorry. Don't hurt me, please don't hurt me."
The Judoon pressed a button on his device, replaying Morgenstern's words, then he plugged the device into a socket on his neck. "Language assimilated." he said in English, "Designation: Earth, English. You will be catalogued." He withdrew his device and scanned Morgenstern with it. "Category: Human." He promptly drew a black X on Morgenstern's hand, then turned to the other Judoon. "Catalogue all suspects." he ordered, and the Judoon got to work scanning everyone.
The Doctor, Shareen and Martha were watching all this from the balcony, taking cover behind some potted plants. "Aw, look, you've got a little shop." the Doctor grinned, "I like a little shop."
"Oh, never mind that!" Shareen grumbled, "What are Rocksteady's brothers down there?"
"Galactic police." the Doctor answered, "Well, police for hire. More like interplanetary thugs."
"And they brought us to the moon?" Martha questioned
"Neutral territory." the Doctor explained, "According to Galactic Law, they've got no jurisdiction on Earth, an' they isolated us. That rain? Lightning? That was them, using an H20 scoop."
"What's that about 'galactic law'? Where'd ya get that from?" Martha asked, "If they're police, are we under arrest? Are we trespassing on the moon or something?"
"No, but I like that!" the Doctor replied, "Good thinking. No, wish it were that simple. They're makin' a catalogue. That means they're after something non-Human, which is very bad news for me."
"Why?" Martha asked
Both the Doctor and Shareen looked at her.
"Oh, you're kidding me." Martha laughed, then she remembered the two hearts. "Seriously?"
"Come on." the Doctor said, coming out from behind the plants and heading for the stairs.
"And are you alien too?" Martha asked Shareen as they followed
"Nope, I'm Human." Shareen assured her.
~8~
The Doctor and Shareen were soon sat in an office, with the Doctor scanning a computer with his sonic screwdriver. Martha came in, having been keeping check on the Judoon's progress. "They've reached the third floor." she told them, "What's that thing?"
"Sonic screwdriver." the Doctor answered
"Well, if ya not gonna answer me properly..." Martha grunted
"No, really, it's a screwdriver and it's sonic. Look." the Doctor said, holding up the tool in question.
"Ok, what else you got? A laser spanner?" Martha joked
"I did but it was stolen by Emily Pankhurst. Cheeky woman." the Doctor replied, then gave the computer a frustrated whack. "What's wrong with this computer?!" he grumbled, "The Judoon must've locked it down. Judoon platoon upon the moon." he mused. "What?" he asked when he saw Shareen snort in amusement,
"Nice rhyme." she told him
"Cos' we were just travelling past, I swear, we just wandering." the Doctor said to Martha, "We weren't lookin' for trouble, honestly, we weren't. Then I noticed these plasma coils around the hospital, and that lightning, that's plasma coils. Been building up for two days now, so I checked in. I thought something was going on inside, it turns out the plasma coils were the Judoon up above."
"But what are they looking for?" Martha asked
"Something that looks Human but isn't." the Doctor replied
"Like you, apparently."
"Like me, but not me."
"Haven't they got a photo?"
"Might be a shape-changer." the Doctor replied
"Um, Peacock, I know it's probably a stupid question, but why can't we just leave the Judoon to find it?" Shareen ventured
"If they declare the hospital guilty of harbouring a fugitive, they'll sentence it to execution." the Doctor answered
"All of us?" Martha stared
"Oh, yes." the Doctor replied, "If I can find this thing first... Oh! Ya see! They're thick! Judoon are thick!" he grumbled as he lost patience with the computer, "They are thick, they completely wiped the records!" The computer screen went red and the Judoon's logo flashed on it.
"Oh, move over, Peacock." Shareen huffed, "I'll see if I can restore the back-up. What? Ya think Mickey was the only one who knows computers?" she asked rhetorically as she took the Doctor's place at the computer.
"What are we looking for?" Martha asked, hoping to be of help.
"I dunno." the Doctor sighed, "Any patient admitted in the past week with unusual symptoms. Maybe there's a back-up."
"And I'l try an' find it." Shareen said as she began messing about with the computer.
"Keep working." Martha told them, "I'll go ask Mr Stoker. He'll know." And she went off towards Mr Stoker's office.
~8~
Martha arrived at the office and knocked on the door. Receiving no answer, she entered anyway. "Mr Stoker?" she called, seeing no sign of the senior consultant. Then she saw his feet sticking out from behind his desk. She looked up to see one of the biker men standing above him, and the other one standing nearby. Then, Florence Finnegan popped up, a blood-soaked straw in her mouth. Martha's mouth fell open as she realised what had happened.
"Kill her!" Miss Finnegan spat
Martha promptly ran from the room, one of the biker men following her. She reached the office just as the Doctor stepped out. "We've restored the back-up." he said
"I restored the back-up!" Shareen said as she joined him
"I found her!" Martha panted
"Ya did what?" the Doctor asked, then he saw the biker smash through Mr Stoker's door. "RUN!" he yelled, and the trio promptly legged it.
They bolted down the stairs, only to find a group of Judoon coming up it. They promptly spun round and dashed through some doors onto the fourth floor of the hospital. The trio sped down several corridors until they ended up in the radiology lab. Once they were all in, the Doctor soniced the door locked and sprinted over to an X-ray scanner, while Shareen and Marth piled into the control room. "When I say 'Now', press the button." the Doctor told them
"But I don't know which one!" Martha protested
"Find out!" the Doctor retorted, inserting his sonic screwdriver into the x-ray scanner.
"Try this." Shareen said to Martha, tossing her an operator's manual.
The biker then demolished the door. "Now!" the Doctor yelled, pointing the scanner at the man.
Martha slammed a big yellow button down and she and Shareen took cover beneath the console as a blinding light filled the room. The biker convulsed, then flopped down on the floor as the machine switched off.
"What did you do?" Martha gasped as she and Shareen stood up again.
"Increased the radiation by 5,000%." the Doctor replied, "Killed him dead."
"Ain't that gonna kill you?" Shareen asked
"Nah, it's only radiation." the Doctor waved her off, "We used to play with roentgen bricks in the nursery. It's safe for you two to come out, I've absorbed it all." he told the two women, and they both came out of the control room. "All I need to do is expel it." the Doctor said and began hopping about. "If I concentrate, I can shake the radiation out of my body and into one spot, say my left shoe. Here we are, here we go, easy does it." He began to hop about on one leg towards a bin. "Out, ow, ow, ow, ah, itches, itches, itches!" He pulled off his left shoe and sock and stuffed them in the bin. "Done!"
"You're completely mad." Martha stared at him
"Ya right. I look daft with one shoe." the Doctor said and promptly pulled off his other shoe and sock and threw them in the bin too. "Barefoot on the moon!" he grinned, wiggling his toes.
"You're weird, Peacock." Shareen shook her head at him, "Waste of a good pair of shoes, though."
"So what is that thing?" Martha asked, going to the dead biker, "And where's it from? The planet Zovirax?"
"Maybe it's the Stig's evil brother." Shareen remarked as she joined Martha.
"It's just a Slab." the Doctor told them, "They're called 'Slabs'. Basic slave drones, see? Solid leather all the way though."
"Huh, someone's got one hell of a fetish." Shareen remarked
"But it was that woman, Miss Finnegan." Martha said, "It was working for her, just like a servant."
The Doctor went over to the x-ray scanner and removed his sonic screwdriver to find that the emitter was burnt to a crisp. "My sonic screwdriver!" he wailed
"She was one of the patients, but..." Martha continued
"Burnt out my sonic screwdriver!" the Doctor moaned
"She had a straw like some kind of vampire." Martha continued
"I loved my sonic screwdriver." the Doctor lamented
"Oh, shut up about ya stupid screwdriver, Peacock!" Shareen huffed, "Martha's tryin' to tell ya something important!"
"Oi! Don't diss the sonic!" the Doctor said indignantly
"Doctor!" Martha cut in
"Yeah, sorry." the Doctor turned to her, tossing the wrecked sonic screwdriver away. "You called me Doctor!" he grinned
"Anyway!" Martha rolled her eyes, "Miss Finnegan is the alien. She was drinking Mr Stoker's blood.
"Funny time to take a snack." the Doctor remarked, "You'd think she'd be hiding. Unless... no? Yes, that's it. Wait a minute, yes! Shape changer, internal shape changer!" he exclaimed in realisation, "She wasn't drinking blood, she was assimilating it!"
"Like the Borg?" Shareen questioned
"If she can assimilate Mr Stoker's blood, mimic the morphology, she can register as Human." the Doctor explained, "We've got to find her and show the Judoon. Come on!" And he led the way out of the room.
~8~
The Doctor, Shareen and Martha hid behind a water cooler in a corridor as the other Slab walked past. "That's the thing about Slabs, they always travel in pairs." the Doctor muttered
"What about you two?" Martha asked
"What about us two what?"
"Haven't you got back up? You must have a team or something."
"Uh, Humans." the Doctor rolled his eyes, "We're stuck on the moon, runnin' out of air, with Judoon an' a bloodsucking criminal, and ya asking personal questions? C'mon." He got up and the two women began to follow him.
"I like that, 'Humans." Martha remarked, "I'm still not convinced you're an alien."
They walked straight into a Judoon, who scanned the Doctor. "Non-Human." the Judoon stated
"Oh, my God, you really are!" Martha gasped
"Come on, run!" Shareen urged, and the trio began to leg it just as the Judoon opened fire on them.
They raced upstairs and onto the next floor, the Doctor locking a door behind them to hold the Judoon off, then they emerged into a corridor full of people slumped on the floor who were starting to feel the effects of hypoxia.
"They've done this floor." the Doctor noted, looking at the people on the floor, who all had their hands marked. "Come on. The Judoon are logical, an' just a little bit thick. They won't go back to check a floor they've checked already if we're lucky.
Martha turned to Swales, who was tending to a patient. "How much oxygen is there?" Martha asked
"Not enough for all these people." Swales replied, "We're gonna run out."
"How're you feeling?" the Doctor asked Martha, "You alright?"
"Running on adrenaline." Martha replied
"Welcome to my world." the Doctor smiled, "Shareen?"
"Footballer's lungs." Shareen waved him off, "What about the Judoon?"
"Ah, great big lung reserves, won't slow them down." the Doctor answered, "Where's Mr Stoker's office?"
"It's this way." Martha said and led them down the corridor to Mr Stoker's office. They found the office empty. "She's gone! She was here." Martha said
"She's probably buggered off somewhere else." Shareen said
The Doctor examined Mr Stoker's body. "Drained him dry." he noted, "Every last drop. I was right. She's a Plasmavore."
"What's she doing on Earth?" Martha wandered
"Hiding." the Doctor replied, "On the run like Ronald Biggs in Rio de Janeiro."
"Well, she's picked the perfect place to hide." Shareen remarked, "Plenty of blood in a hospital."
"What's she doin' now?" the Doctor wandered, "She's still not safe. The Judoon could execute us all. Come on."
"Wait a minute." Martha said. She went over to Mr Stoker's body and closed his eyes, then she left with the Doctor and Shareen.
"Think, think, think." the Doctor muttered as they walked down the corridor, "If I was a Plasmavore wanted by the police, what would I do?" His eyes fell on a sign pointing to the hospital's MRI lab. "Oh, she's clever as me." he realised, "Almost."
Shareen was about to make a witty retort when they heard a Judoon's voice, "Find the non-Human, execute!"
"Stay here." the Doctor told the women, "I need time. You're gonna have to hold 'em up."
"How do we do that?" Martha asked
The Doctor thought for a second. "Martha, forgive me for this. It could save a thousand lives. It means nothing, honestly nothing." And with that, he kissed Martha right on the lips then ran off down the corridor.
"That was nothing?" Martha asked breathlessly
"Don't get any ideas." Shareen told her, "He's still hung up on my old best friend."
~8~
The Doctor entered the MRI lab to find the scanner making strange noises. The Plasmavore was at the controls, while the Slab stood nearby. Then, the Doctor put his plan into operation. "Have you seen those things?" he burst out, attracting the Plasmavore's attention, "There these things, these great big space rhino things. I mean, rhinos from space? An' we're on the moon! Great big space rhinos with guns on the moon! And I only came in for my bunions, look!" He gestured to his bare feet. "All fixed now." he continued, "Perfectly good treatment, the nurses were lovely. I said to my wife, 'I'd recommend this place to anyone', but then we end up on the moon. And did I mention the rhinos?"
"Hold him!" the Plasmavore ordered, and the Slab complied, grabbing the Doctor.
~8~
The Judoon marched into the corridor outside the MRI lab. "Find the non-Human! Execute!" the leader ordered
Martha and Shareen stood in their way. "Now listen, I know who you're looking for." Martha said, "She's this woman. She calls herself Florence."
The Judoon leader scanned Shareen. "Human." he stated.
"That's me." Shareen muttered
The Judoon leader then scanned Martha. "Human." he stated, "Wait! Non-Human trace suspected!" The other Judoon pointed their guns at Martha. "Non-Human element confirmed." the leader stated, "Authorise full scan." He backed Martha up against the wall.
"Oi! Get off her, Rocksteady!" Shareen snapped, rushing forward to intervene but a Judoon held her back.
"What are you? What are you?!" the leader demanded to Martha.
~MRI Lab~
"Um, that thing, urm, that big machine thing, is it supposed to be makin' that noise?" the Doctor asked, continuing his clueless Human charade.
"You wouldn't understand." the Plasmavore waved him off, continuing to mess with the MRI scanner.
"Isn't that a magnetic image resonating thing?" the Doctor asked innocently, "Like a ginormous magnetic? I did magnets at GCSE. Well, I failed, but all the same..."
"A magnet with it's setting now increased to 50,000 Tesla." the Plasmavore said callously
"Ooh, that's a bit strong, isn't it?" the Doctor remarked
"I can send out a magnetic pulse that will fry the brain stems of every living thing within 250,000 miles. Except me, safe in this room." the Plasvamore said smugly
"But hold on, hold on. I did geography GCSE." the Doctor said, "Doesn't that distance include the Earth?"
"Only the side facing the moon." the Plasmavore said nonchalantly, "The other half will survive. Call it my little gift."
"Sorry, you'll have to excuse me, I'm a little bit of my depth." the Doctor continued, "I've spent the past 15 years workin' as a postman, hence the bunions, but why would ya do that?"
"With everyone dead, the Judoon ships will be mine to make my escape."
"Now, that's weird. You're talkin' like you're some sorta alien." the Doctor scoffed, continuing his charade.
"Quite so."
"No!"
"Oh, yes."
"You're joshing me."
"I am not."
"I'm talkin' to an alien? In a hospital? What, has this place got an ET department?" the Doctor joked
"It's a perfect hiding place." the Plasmavore said, "Blood banks downstairs for a midnight feast, and all this equipment, ready to arm myself should the police come looking."
"So, those rhinos, they're lookin' for you?"
"Yes, but I'm hidden." the Plasmavore answered smugly, showing him her hand, which had been crossed off.
"Oh, right." the Doctor said, "Maybe that's why they're increasin' their scans."
That wiped the smile off the Plasmavore's face. "They're doing what?"
"Big chief rhino boy, he said, er, 'No sign of a non-Human, we must increase our scans up to setting two.'"
"Then I must assimilate again."
"What does that mean?"
"I must appear to be Human."
"Well, you're welcome to come home and meet the wife." the Doctor said brightly, "She'd be honoured. We can have cake."
"Why should I have a cake? I've got my little straw." the Plasmavore retorted, pulling out her straw.
"That's nice." the Doctor said flatly, "Milkshake? I like banana."
"You're quite the funny man." the Plasmavore remarked, "And yet, I think, laughing on purpose, at the darkness. I think it's time you found some peace. Steady him." she ordered the Slab, who forced the Doctor to the floor and turned his head so that his neck was exposed.
"What're you doing?" the Doctor asked, continuing the charade though he knew what he was in store for and wasn't looking forward to it at all.
"I'm afraid this going to hurt." the Plasmavore said callously, advancing on him with her straw in hand, "But if it's any consolation, the dead don't tend to remember."
~Corridor~
The Judoon leader crossed off Martha's hand "Confirm: Human." he said, "Traces of facial contact with non-Human. Continue the search. You will need this."
He handed Martha a slip of paper. "What's that for?" she asked
"Compensation." And with that, the Judoon strode onwards.
Martha looked at the funny alien writing for a moment, then she and Shareen hurried after the Judoon.
~MRI Lab~
The Plasmavore was drinking the Doctor's blood with her straw when the Judoon burst in. "Now see what you've done." she said, putting on her innocent old woman act, "This poor man just died of fright."
"Scan her." the Judoon leader ordered, and one of his men complied. Martha and Shareen hurried in to find the Judoon scanning the Doctor's body. "Confirmation: deceased." the Judoon leader stated
"Oh, cosmic!" Shareen groaned. The Doctor was their only hope of getting out of this and now he'd gone and gotten himself killed.
"No, he can't be." Martha protested, trying to push her way through, "Let me through. Let me see him." she protested as a Judoon held her back.
"Stop. Case closed." the leader stated
"But it was her!" Martha said, glaring at the Plasmavore "She killed him, she did it. She murdered him!"
"Judoon have no authority over Human crime." the Judoon leader said
"Yeah, but she ain't Human." Shareen pointed out
"Oh, but I am, I've been catalogued." the Plasmavore said, showing them her crossed-off hand.
"But she's not." Martha said, "She assim..." Suddenly she realised something. "Wait a minute. You drank his blood. The Doctor's blood."
"Oh, that was a bloody stupid thing to do." Shareen said, realising what Martha had.
Martha promptly grabbed one of the Judoon's scanners. "Oh, I don't mind. Scan all you like." the Plasmavore said nonchalantly
"Non-Human!" the Judoon leader announced
That wiped the smile off the Plasmavore's face. "But... what?" she blustered
"Confirm analysis." the Judoon leader ordered, and his men complied.
"Oh, but that's a mistake, surely." the Plasmavore protested, "I'm Human. I'm as Human as they come."
"The Doctor isn't." Shareen smirked, folding her arms and giving the Plasmavore a 'not so clever now are you' look.
"He gave his life so they'd find you." Martha said
"Confirm: Plasmavore." the Judoon leader stated, "Charged with the crime of murdering the child princess of Padrivole Regency Nine."
"Well, she deserved it!" the Plasmavore snarled, dropping her charade, "Those pink cheeks, and those blonde curls and that simpering voice, she was begging for the bite of a Plasmavore!"
"Then you confess?"
"Confess? I'm proud of it!" the Plasmavore gloated, "Slab, stop them!" She hurried off to the MRI scanner, while the Slab stepped forward, only to be swiftly vaporised by one of the Judoon's guns.
"Verdict guilty." the Judoon leader said, "Sentence: execution!"
The Plasmavore promptly plugged two red wires in and the scanner's screen flashed up with 'Magnetic Overload'. Martha and Shareen took cover as the Judoon all aimed their weapons at the Plasmavore. "Enjoy your victory, Judoon. Cos' you're gonna burn with me!" she crowed. "Burn in heeeeeeellllll!" she screamed as she was swiftly vaporised by the Judoon.
"Case closed." the Judoon leader stated
"But what did she mean, burn with me?" Martha asked, "The scanner shouldn't be doing that, she's done something."
The Judoon leader scanned the MRI scanner. "Scans detect lethal acceleration of mono-magnetic pulse." he stated
"Well, bloody do something to stop it then!" Shareen hollered
"Our jurisdiction has ended." the Judoon leader told her "Judoon will evacuate."
"What, you can't just leave it!" Martha protested, "What's it gonna do?"
"All units withdraw." the Judoon leader said into his comm, and they all marched out of the room.
"Oi! Come back here!" Shareen shouted after them, "You lot brought us here, it's your fault this is happening, so you can bloody help us, ya stupid rhinos!" But it fell on deaf ears.
Martha meanwhile was administering CPR to the Doctor. "One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five." she panted as she pressed down on the Doctor's chest. Then she remembered. "Two hearts." She started pumping on the left side of the Doctor's chest. "One, two, three, four, five." then repeated this on the right side. Finally, she took one last big breath of air and gave it to the Doctor. He coughed and his eyes shot open. Martha managed to make a noise of relief before keeling over. "The scanner, she did something." she managed to wheeze out before passing out.
Coughing, the Doctor crawled over to the MRI scanner. He reached into his breast pocket for his sonic screwdriver then he remembered. "No sonic." he wheezed.
Shareen watching him from the doorway, now on her knees from the lack of oxygen. "If we die here, Peacock, I'm gonna kill you." she wheezed before her eyes rolled into her head and she blacked out.
The Doctor surveyed the red and blue wires connected to the MRI scanner. Taking a gamble, he yanked out the red wires and the scanner shut down. The Doctor coughed out a sigh of relief then he stumbled down the corridor to a window just in time to see the Judoon ships lift off. "Come on, come on, come on, please." the Doctor muttered, "Come on, Judoon, reverse it."
Then it started to rain.
The Doctor smiled and staggered back to the MRI room. "It's raining, girls." he said to Martha's and Shareen's unconscious forms. "It's raining on the moon."
There was a flash of lightning, and the Royal Hope Hospital was transported back to it's original place on Earth.
~8~
Martha sat in the back of an ambulance as paramedics tended to the people from the hospital, all of whom were recovering from their bout of hypoxia. Morgenstern was nearby, talking to a reporter about the ordeal. Martha meanwhile was wandering where the Doctor and Shareen had got to. They were both nowhere to be seen when she'd come to.
She was pulled out of her thoughts by a familiar voice, "Martha!" and she looked up to see a relieved Tish sprint over to her and pull her into a hug. "Oh my God, I thought you were dead! What happened?" Tish fussed
They pulled away from the hug and began to walk away.
"It was so weird." Tish continued, "Cos' the police wouldn't say, they didn't have a clue, and I tried phoning."
Martha tuned out her sister's rambling to see the Doctor and Shareen walk over to a blue police box. They both gave Martha an acknowledging look, then went inside.
"And dad phoned." Tish continued, pulling Martha's attention back to her, "Cos' it's on the news an' everything, he was crying. Oh my God, I've been a mess. What exactly happened?"
Martha didn't answer, she was looking at the spot where the police box had been. It had disappeared into thin air.
~8~
Martha sat in her bedroom getting ready for Leo's party while listening to the news on the radio. "Eyewitness reports from the Royal Hope Hospital continue to pour in, and it all seems to be remarkably consistent." the newsreader said, "This from medical student Oliver Morgenstern."
Morgenstern's voice then came over the radio, "I was there. I saw it happen. And I feel uniquely privileged. I looked out at the surface of the moon. I saw the Earth, suspended in space, and it all just proves Mr Saxon right. We're not alone in the universe. There's life out there: wild and extraordinary life."
Martha smiled at that. How very true.
~8~
Annalise stormed out of the pub Leo's party was being held in. "I am not staying in there to be insulted!" she fumed
"She didn't mean it, Sweetheart." Clive said as he came running after her, "She just said you look healthy."
"No, I did not. I said orange." Francine snarked as she came out too.
"Clive, that woman is disrespecting me." Annalise whinged. "She's never liked me."
"Oh, I can't think why, after you stole my husband!" Francine retorted
"I was seduced!" Annalise protested, "I'm entirely innocent, tell her, babes."
"And then she has a go at Martha, practically accuse her of making the whole thing up." Francine continued
"Mum, I don't mind. Just leave it." Martha said calmly as she, Tish and Leo came out after them.
"Oh, 'I've been to the moon'. As if!" Annalise huffed, "They were drugged, it said so on the news."
"Since when did you watch the news?" Francine snorted, "You can't handle Quizmania!"
"Annalise started it." Tish piped in, "She did, I heard her."
"Tish, don't make it worse." Leo cautioned
"Come off it, Leo. What did she buy you?" Tish retorted, "Soap, a 75 pence soap!"
At this point, a full-blown argument started, with Annalise storming off, Clive trying to put his foot down but going after her anyway, and Francine hurling insults after them before storming off herself, and Tish and Leo going after her. Martha just stayed where she was. After the day she'd had, this was the last thing she needed. Then, she noticed Shareen standing by the corner of an alleyway. She shot Martha a wink then walked down the alleyway.
Martha followed her to find the Doctor leaning against the blue police box, both he and Shareen now wearing the same clothes they'd been wearing on Chancery Street that morning. "I went to the moon today." Martha said
"No offence, but I think it was a bit quieter than down here." Shareen joked
"Tell me about it." Martha smirked, then she turned to the Doctor. "You never even told me who you are."
"The Doctor." he replied simply
"But what sort of species? It's not every day I get to ask that." Martha mused
"I'm a Time Lord." the Doctor answered
"Right! Not pompous at all, then." Martha remarked
"Huh, you have no idea!" Shareen snorted
"I just thought since you saved our lives and I've got a brand-new sonic screwdriver which needs road testing..." the Doctor said, casually tossing his new sonic screwdriver in the air and catching it, "...you might fancy a trip."
"What, into space?" Martha asked
"Well..." the Doctor shrugged
"I can't." Martha sighed, "I've got exams. I've got things to do. I have to go into town first thing and pay the rent, I've got my family going mad..."
"For what it's worth, this thing travels in time." Shareen said, gesturing to the police box.
"Get out of here." Martha snorted
"I can!" the Doctor insisted
"Come on now, that's going too far."
"I'll prove it." the Doctor said, "Come on, Shareen." He and Shareen went inside the police box which then made a terrific noise and disappeared right before Martha's eyes. A moment later, the box reappeared, and the Doctor and Shareen emerged again, thought the Doctor wasn't wearing his tie this time, for it was draped around Shareen's shoulders. "Told ya!" the Doctor smirked
Martha stared as she remembered seeing them do this on Chancery Street that morning. "I know, but... that was this morning! But, did you... Oh, my God! You can travel in time!" she exclaimed
The Doctor just smirked and retrieved his tie.
"But hold on, if you could see me this morning, why didn't you tell me not to go into work?" Martha pointed out
"Hmm, good point, Martha." Shareen nodded
"Crossing into established events is strictly forbidden. Except for cheap tricks." the Doctor answered
"And that's your spaceship?" Martha asked, eyeing the police box.
"She's called the TARDIS." the Doctor explained, "Time and Relative Dimension In Space."
"Your spaceship's made of wood." Martha observed, patting the woodwork. "There's not much room. Be a bit cramped with the three of us in there."
"Oh, you'd be surprised." Shareen said. "But ya might wanna brace yourself for a shock, Martha."
"Take a look." the Doctor encouraged, opening the door for Martha.
Martha ventured into the TARDIS and was left goggling in surprise and awe at the vast console room inside. "Oh, no, no." she breathed, going outside and doing a circuit around the box to see if she'd imagined what she'd just seen. Seeing that she hadn't, she went back inside the TARDIS for another look at the interior. "But it's just a box." she blustered, knocking on the door's woodwork, "How does it do that? It's wood. It's like a box with this room just rammed in."
"I know how ya feel, Martha." Shareen said, "I was the same the first time I saw in here."
"It's bigger on the inside." Martha breathed, the Doctor mouthing it along with her.
"Is it? I hadn't noticed." he said innocently, then he shut the door behind them, tossed his coat over one of the coral Y-beams and dashed over to the console. "Alright then, let's get going."
"But is there a crew?" Martha asked, "Like a navigator and stuff? Where is everyone?"
"Just me." the Doctor replied
"Oi! Am I invisible?" Shareen said indignantly
"And her." the Doctor hastily corrected himself
"Just the two of ya?" Martha asked
"Well, sometimes I have guests, like Shareen here." the Doctor said, "I mean some friends, travelling alongside. I had, there was recently a friend of mine. Rose, her name was, Rose. And... we were together. Anyway."
"Where is she now?" Martha asked
"She's gone." Shareen answered solemnly, "She was at Canary Wharf. She's stuck in a parallel world now. But she's ok. She's got her family."
"Not that you're replacing her." the Doctor told Martha pointedly
"Never said I was." Martha replied casually
"Just one trip to say thanks." the Doctor said firmly, "Ya get one trip, then back home. I'm only doing this for Shareen."
"I told him I could do with another girl to hang out with." Shareen explained to Martha
"I'd rather be on my own." the Doctor said, more to himself than anyone else.
"Oh, charming." Shareen grunted
Martha raised a brow. "You're the one that kissed me." she reminded the Doctor
"That was a genetic transfer." the Doctor said pointedly
"And if you will wear a tight suit..." Martha continued
"Now... don't!" the Doctor squirmed
"And then travel all the way across space just ask me on a date..." Martha continued to tease
"Stop it." the Doctor grumbled
"Oh, ho, ho, look at him squirm!" Shareen chortled, "Keep it up, Martha!"
"For the record, I'm not remotely interested." Martha told the Doctor, "I only go for Humans."
"Good." the Doctor nodded
Martha then turned to Shareen. "And are you and him...?"
Now it was Shareen's turn to squirm. "Ugh! God, no!" she said, "I'm only travelling with him cos' I've got no one left at home. I wouldn't go out with him if he was the last man in the universe!"
"Well then. Close down the gravitic anomalyser. Fire up the Helmic regulator. And finally, the handbrake." the Doctor said, messing about with the TARDIS' controls.
"Ya ready for this?" Shareen asked Martha
"No." Martha laughed
"Off we go." the Doctor said and pulled a lever, causing the TARDIS to jolt and shake, forcing the trio to cling to the console to avoid being thrown to the floor.
"Blimey, it's a bit bumpy!" Martha remarked
"Tell me about it." Shareen agreed, "Still, ya get used to it."
"Welcome aboard, Miss Jones." the Doctor said, extending a hand.
"It's my pleasure, Mr Smith." Martha replied as she shook his hand. "You too, Miss Costello."
"Same here, Dr Jones." Shareen said as she and Martha shook hands too.
And so they were off, travelling through time and space with their new friend.
Author's notes: And after a week's break, I'm back with the start of series 3. This episode is so tightly plotted that I actually had a bit of a problem figuring out how to incorporate Shareen into the plot, but I think I managed it. She gets to make a couple of jokes that I'm surprised no other fanfiction writer has done yet, namely likening the Judoon to Rocksteady and the Slabs to the Stig. VoteSaxon07 did make the later joke in their YouTube review of this episode, but to my knowledge, no other fanfiction writer has done that. I'll probably figure out Shareen and Martha's relationship as we go through series 3 but they did get on well enough in this episode. So, hope you like this chapter and hope to see ya next time for some Shakespeare.
