Chapter 10

Jet was at it again. After weeks of surveillance, he had refined the last plan he had proposed, so that it no longer depended on Aang using the Avatar state. Instead of a reckless charge into danger, it was now a considered plot to use targeted violence to achieve an audacious goal: driving the Fire Nation out of their fortress and claiming it as a Resistance stronghold. However, the scheme still hinged on Aang's skills.

Zuko did not argue against the plan the way he had before; his previous objections had been ruled out by Jet's careful work. Most of the freedom fighters seemed in favor of it, and some were even excited by its boldness.

That meant that Aang had to stand up alone and say no. He had to explain the values he had been taught as a child at the Air Temple, the sacred nature of all life and the emptiness that resulted from disrespecting it. He knew his words were inadequate to express the beauty of his forebears' philosophy, and felt frustrated with his own lack of persuasive power. The tense silence of his audience made it clear to him that they did not share the principles underlying his stance. Indeed, their experiences as victims in the Fire Nation's war made his ethics seem naive.

"But we're not Air Nomads," Jet argued in response. "Just because you have this cultural prohibition against using violence doesn't mean that we feel the same way. If we change the plot to keep the blood off your lily white hands, and take the dirty work on ourselves, will you at least cooperate?"

"I won't cooperate with violence." Aang answered, lifting his chin with determination. "And if that means I'm not welcome here, then I'll leave."

"You are indeed welcome here," Iroh spoke up. "We are enriched by your presence, Avatar Aang. You have much to teach us. Please do not go. We will not ask you to do anything that violates your principles. Perhaps that means we will further refine this plan, so that no one, not even an enemy, is harmed. Or it may mean that our entire approach will evolve. There are some here who hoped that having the Avatar among us would mean a swift victory for our cause. And they are disappointed to realize that success may take longer than they hoped, and may require us to use new strategies. But the ultimate triumph that we will achieve is no less certain."

The meeting broke up then, with the group split between hope and discontentment.

Aang sank into his chair. He looked around for Katara, and saw her in a heated conversation with Jet, her angry finger poking his chest. Yoshio sat down next to him.

"I just wanted you to know, I'm on your side." The young man assured the airbender. "After all, the only reason I joined this Resistance was because of you."

"Because of me?"

"I heard about how you left the Fire Nation. They killed your people, and then imprisoned you for years. These are the only people who are even trying to fight back. Why wouldn't you join them?"

"Right….." Aang looked down.

"And of course you're right about this stupid little disagreement." Yoshio went on. "I mean, you're the spirit of the world, aren't you? The Avatar's always good, right?"

If only that were true. Aang remembered the guilt and shame he'd felt when he came out of the Avatar state and realized how many people he had killed. It had never left him.

Yoshio was still talking, pushing. "I just don't want to see them use you. It seems to me like no one here sees you as anything more than a supersoldier."

"Katara….." he began.

"Your girlfriend?" Yoshio made a strained face, then shook his head with a tsk. "I hope you're right."

"Of course I'm right." The airbender insisted stoutly.

"I just heard a story about her, from before she went to the Fire Nation and met you. Cold as ice, that one."

Aang couldn't help it, he was curious. "What happened?"

"She went on a few dates with a young nobleman, really led him on, and got him to tell her all about his family's plans to sell weapons to the Fire Nation. Then she stood him up, and emptied his warehouse. Poor guy, he was just a mark to her. All she cares about is this cause."

"No, she's not like that…" Aang protested.

"I'm sure you're right. No way she'd ever stab you in the back." Yoshio clapped him heartily on the shoulder. "See you tomorrow."

Aang looked around for his girlfriend again. She was still fighting with Jet, and now Zuko had stepped in as well, probably trying to make peace between the two.

He suddenly felt incredibly tired. Without saying goodnight, he went to Appa's shelter and lay down to sleep. But sleep didn't come, because all he could think about was how it had felt when Katara had plunged that arrow into his skin.


Azula was tired from a day of plotting with her spymaster, but satisfied with the way her plans seemed to be coming together. As night fell, she found she had just enough energy left for her ritual.

Alone in her room, she undressed, put on Aang's old robe, and took out her secret items to set up her altar. There was a small copy of his official portrait, the one made soon after he had joined her family. The wedding portrait of the two of them together. The book of his memories, that she'd taken from the hiding place in his room. A dish of his favorite fire gummies. A bandage stained with his blood, that she'd found and kept. When the candle was lit and everything was arranged, she sat down in front of the little shrine and began to meditate.

She envisioned the moment when the scales fell from Aang's eyes, and he realized the waterbender's true nature. You deceived me, he would tell the peasant, and she would flee in tears. It was you all along, he would say then, turning to her and opening his arms. I forgive you, she would declare magnanimously. My love was stronger than the pain. Then he'd vow, I'll never hurt you again, and they would kiss and kiss.

Suddenly, there was a crash on her balcony. Before Azula could pull herself out of her fantasy enough to react, she saw a guard barge into the room, sword drawn to defend his Fire Lord.

After a moment on the balcony, he came back in sheepishly. "Just an injured flutter bat. Sorry for disturbing you," he explained.

It was the new captain of the guard, Raiden. She saw his eyes sweep the display behind her, and he cringed before turning pointedly away from her. His shoulders were straight, but he wouldn't look directly at her, and the base of his spine curved with discomfort. His posture seemed caught between typical military correctness, and the awkwardness of charging unbidden into a woman's bedroom.

Azula stood, hand clutching the neck of the yellow robe. She positioned herself in front of her altar, but knew it was too late. He'd seen everything. "You may continue your patrol." she stammered.

"Good night, my lord." He nodded and turned to go.

Panic made her call him back. "And, Captain, I'd appreciate it if you don't tell anyone about this." His forehead wrinkled inquiringly, as if the request surprised him, so she explained. "The gossip columnists would salivate over a story about the Fire Lord pining after the man who jilted her. I'm sure I can rely on you to spare me that embarrassment."

"Of course, my lord." He bowed. His deference pleased her, and she couldn't help noticing the thickness of the lashes framing his amber eyes.

She pursed her lips in a tight smile. "It's wonderful to have such a trustworthy guard."

"I will strive to deserve your trust, my lord." He bowed again, more deeply, and left her alone.

"Nice save," Mai rolled her eyes.

"He's cute!" Ty Lee exclaimed.

"Trust no one!" Father reminded her sternly.

With her ghosts hounding her like this, Azula knew she would not be able to meditate again, so she hid away her sacred objects and fell into bed. She covered her head with her pillow, trying in vain to block out the voices so she could rest.


On his way out of the royal apartment, Raiden lingered in Azula's study, taking the opportunity to rifle through her papers. Mostly reports from various cabinet officials that remained sealed and unread. But there was a small scrap, the size used by messenger hawks, that caught his eye.

I'm in! I did everything the way you told me to, exactly. Gained entry to the organization by warning them about a raid, then staging it. Told A the made up family history you told me and listened to hours of his stories. Then started asking questions about K. The seed of doubt has been planted and is sprouting. -Y

He wasn't sure what this note was about, but it seemed like exactly the kind of thing Piandao would want him to report. Opportunities like this were the whole reason he'd gotten this job. He could keep Azula's embarrassing secret to himself, but this note was evidence of a plot with implications far beyond the palace. He memorized it, then put it back where it was, so that she would not know the difference.

"Trustworthy," his Fire Lord had called him. Once, such a compliment from his country's leader would have inflated his chest with pride. But now, disillusioned, he no longer considered the trust of his government a compliment to his integrity. On the contrary, it made him a potential accessory to unconscionable acts. He had a higher calling now, one that might even lead him to participate in his ruler's removal from office. Which itself might require him to violate his conscience. He prayed he'd never be given such a ruthless order. In comparison, passing this info was a simple, civilized piece of espionage.

As he copied the note to send to Piandao, Raiden reminded himself that he was doing the right thing. Because it hadn't been just some playboy nobleman who had broken the Fire Lord's heart. Azula's sad preoccupation was with the Avatar, and that made her a potential threat to world harmony. Raiden had taken an oath to protect the balance, and now he had to fulfill it.

But he did feel a twinge of guilt about what he was doing. Mostly because the Fire Lord seemed so lonely. In the days he had guarded Azula, she had never had a single social outing or visit from a friend. Only training, spy meetings, and solitary dinners. And now he learned that she even spent her nights mooning over her ex. He pitied her. After all, the Avatar had treated her abominably. Any woman would be crushed if her groom left her in the middle of her wedding festivities, and Azula's humiliation had taken place on a national stage, compounded by the violent death of her father. Her lingering distress over the slight aroused his sympathy. The Fire Lord's behavior was obsessive, yes, but there was also something almost sweet about her devotion to the Avatar. It must be nice to be loved like that, Raiden thought. He had certainly never built an altar to any of his girlfriends. And he'd be shocked if Akane had a similar display in his honor. That reminded him, he was late returning her last letter. Again.

It seemed to Raiden that the Fire Lord had latched onto him, singling him out to depend upon because she had no one else in her life. He hoped so, anyway. If she trusted him because he kept quiet about her pathetic little shrine, if that stupid flutter bat had created a small bond of complicity between them tonight, that just might help him accomplish his mission.


Author's Note: I've heard that some people are having trouble getting notifications from this website, because the settings in people's profile have been automatically changed without their knowledge so that they don't get emails. You might want to check on this.

I'm taking Thanksgiving week off, so I'll post the next chapter in 2 weeks.

Please review! I really appreciate all your comments on the story!