The students that were going home were gathered in the Entrance Hall. There weren't as many as Lily would have first thought, considering most of her own friends were travelling home.
She adjusted the strap of her small backpack as she looked over the railing into the space below, catching sight of Marlene waiting by the doors leading into the Great Hall.
"There you are," said Lily, a little breathless a moment later, having skipped down the steps in hurry, not wanting to leave without saying goodbye.
"Think I was going to let you go without a hug?" Marlene quipped with a wide smile. The two girls reached forward and hugged each other tightly.
"You're kind of twitchy about those," she teased, releasing her friend after a moment.
"Only because you give the worst hugs," Marlene taunted back.
Lily laughed, swinging a fist around to lightly punch her shoulder. "Don't be so mean spirited – it's supposed to be Christmas!"
"Not for another week."
She waved her off. "Close enough."
"Owl me," said Marlene suddenly, in a quiet voice. "Write me if you need me. If you need someone to kick some arse." The tone implied Marlene was referring to Vernon's threat.
"Mar," she complained, trying to brush off the topic.
"I'm serious," Marlene continued with a concerned look. "If anything happens, I will absolutely throw around some hexes."
"Hexes?" Sirius questioned, coming up behind them. "I know some good ones."
"Only if you're trying to entertain some toddlers," James snorted from beside him.
"Oi."
The two girls turned to watch them come closer. Curiously, Lily noted that though they were also going home, neither of them carried a bag. They must've put everything they needed in their trunks. Lily looked around the crowded hall.
"Have you seen Alice or Dorcas?" she asked Marlene. Many of the faces around them she recognized, but none were the ones she was looking for. "Em or Danny?"
"Alice was saying goodbye to Frank up in the common room. I'm sure Dorcas is with Burke… There's Danny." Marlene pointed towards the bottom of the stairs, where the small group of 7th Years stood.
"Ah," said Lily, catching sight of him and nodding. If he was down here still, then Emmeline would be soon, too.
She had been hoping to head towards one of the carriages early, to make sure they got a good compartment on the train. But if none of them were there yet, there wasn't a point.
"Aren't you going to say goodbye?" asked James suddenly from beside her, his hands deep in his trouser pockets, his expression unreadable.
"To you?" she asked in confusion. "Aren't you going home, too? I thought we'd be riding on the train together."
He shook his head slowly, the corners of his lips turning down in a frown. "No. To Rochester."
"Danny?" A bit bewildered, she glanced over at the boy. She looked back at James's face. "No," she said carefully. "Why would I?"
James's eyes darted between her and Rochester slowly, as if to draw her attention between them. He still spoke with the same cool tone he had been for the last couple weeks. "Because you two are friends?"
"He'll be on the train, too," Lily said slowly, giving him another confused look. She couldn't quite decipher the tone he had used. "I'm sure he's just waiting for – Oh, look. See? There's Emmeline."
And there her friend was, skipping down the stairs excitedly, dressed in muggle clothes with her school robe over them.
Rochester quickly caught sight of her, obviously choosing his spot carefully with purpose. His eyes caught Emmeline's and they both smiled bashfully.
Emmeline hadn't even made it to the bottom step before Rochester stuck out his hand chivalrously to help her the rest of the way down. To Lily's own surprise, they kissed on the lips, quick and chaste (but still, a kiss!). Emmeline's cheeks flushed a pale, pretty pink.
Lily rolled her eyes affectionately at the two, though they could not see it. She felt particularly pleased.
"Oh," said James in a hollow voice from beside her.
She glanced over to find him watching the pair, too. "Are you alright?" she asked after a pause, pulling his attention back towards her.
"Yeah," he said, but his voice and gaze seemed miles away.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
To hell with it.
She angled her body towards him, dropped her voice. "Are we okay?I know that's a completely trite thing to ask but… " and – well – no one else was paying attention to them, and damn it, she wanted to know if she'd done something wrong – but damn it, should she really care all that much?
There also happened to be a small gift box in the bottom of her bag that she had wrapped not even an hour ago. It weighed nearly nothing, but suddenly felt like it would drag her through the floor.
"What?" James refocused his gaze onto her, brows furrowed as he met her gaze, his expression softening - if only a little - after a long moment. "Yes. We're okay."
"Alright," she said in a neutral tone, unsure why the intense look on his face tightened her ribcage.
"You should probably go," Marlene said finally, to the three of them. "I'll tell Alice, Em, and Dor you've gone ahead to find a good compartment."
"Thanks, Mar." Lily reached forward and gave her another tight hug. "I'll owl you."
Despite knowing how much snow had fallen the night before, the winter air was much colder than Lily had been expecting.
She shivered as she followed James and Sirius through the doors into the courtyard, pulling her well-loved jean jacket closer to around her as they approached the pathway where the other students were waiting for a ride down to the station.
The group of three waited patiently for the next carriage to arrive. Lily watched as it was pulled forward by a pair of thestrals, the mild-mannered beasts handling the weight gracefully.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed James had been watching her.
"You can see them?" he asked curiously after a moment longer.
"Can you?" she asked, surprised, turning her head to meet his gaze.
The messy curls of his hair fell over his forehead as he shook his head. "No. Hagrid's explained them a bit to me, though."
"Oh," she said, recalling that he often spent time with Hagrid. That made sense. "Has he painted them like they should be hung from the moon?"
He chuckled. "Yes, just about. Right up there with hippogriffs and acromantulas."
She snorted. "But not unicorns."
"Oh, definitely not. Something about unsightly, frightful creatures being gorgeous."
Her eyes went back to the skinny, leathery bodies of the thestrals. Her nose scrunched. "Definitely unsightly. Maybe more alarming than frightful."
"Yeah?"
She shrugged. "No worse than Sirius in the morning."
James laughed, the sound genuine and loud. She felt herself thaw a bit despite the frigid winter air.
Sirius scoffed, stepping forward once the carriage had come to a full stop. He pulled open the door, gesturing for her to enter first. "What's got everyone ragging on me today?"
"You make it so easy," Lily said with a grin, accepting his hand as he helped her into the carriage. "Besides, I think James called you gorgeous technically."
"Ha," he said, jumping into the carriage after her, James just behind.
"The thestral's skin is not quite glossy as your hair," she assured as they settled into the seats. "If that makes you feel any better."
"Only slightly."
"Wait, wait!" Emmeline's voice called. Lily leaned forward to catch sight of the brunette dart around others in line for the next carriage.
"Blimey," she said, winded, hauling herself into the carriage. "Good thing I caught sight of your hair, Lily."
She laughed. "We could've met at the train compartment. No need to rush."
Emmeline shrugged, nearly toppling over as the carriage began to move forward. "Any fun plans for the hols?"
Sirius hummed, slouching down into the seat and tucking the collar of his clock up around his ears. "Just relaxing and spending time with Mia and Monty. Enjoying time away from homework."
LIly's brow furrowed. "Who?"
James grinned. "Mum and dad."
She had forgotten for the briefest moments that Sirius had lived with Potters.
"He's lucky they're letting him come home at all. Remember last Christmas dinner?"
"That wasn't me," Sirius objected. "You have no proof I was anywhere near the gravy."
"The exploding gravy," James clarified to the witches. "Mum spent weeks finding remnants of it in the dining room."
Sirius sniffed. "How and why would they think I would do something so childish? I'm sorry, do you not recall their dinner party they held just before term started?"
James grinned, leaning back casually into his seat. "I don't."
"Just as I bet poor ol' Prewitt wishes he doesn't either," Sirius surmised.
The grin on his face was smug as he turned towards the girls. "What about you all? Any big plans?"
Emmeline sighed with a wistful smile. "Just a big family dinner, I think. All twenty of us. But Da said he might let us do some travelling to Switzerland. Maybe some skiing?"
"Sounds dangerous," Lily grinned, picking up the slightly worried tone in Emmeline's voice. The Vance family loved skiing – but the middle child decidedly did not.
"Sounds fun," Sirius corrected. "Prongs, why don't we ever ask your parents to take us skiing?"
James raised an eyebrow in a smooth motion, his lips spreading into a lazy smile. "Because they know you'd cause an avalanche and get us killed."
Both Lily and Emmeline laughed appreciatively, the statement likely not far off from the truth.
"Oi," Sirius complained with a scowl. "I would not."
"You would," James countered immediately, before turning his gaze onto Lily. "Any yuletide plans for you, Evans?"
"Oh," she said, surprised. "You all already know. Sister's getting married. Which means I'll be stuck attending to her needs for a large part of the hols. Probably won't have time to enjoy myself."
"You're always welcome at Potter Manor," Sirius said with a cheeky grin. "Get away from all the new in-laws. Enjoy the greenery in the conservatory. Some leisurely walks in the end vestibules."
Lily laughed. "Depending on my sister, I might actually take you up on that offer."
Her eyes met James's, who's expression gave away his surprise by the honest tone of her response – and then the carriage halted, having arrived outside Hogsmeade station.
"Well, 'ello there," Hagrid grinned as the four ascended the stairs onto the platform. "Wishin' you all a grea' trip home!"
"Thanks, Hagrid," Lily said warmly. "Happy Christmas!"
"Happy Christmas," he replied heartily, already distracted as he waved on the other students.
Lily joined the fray, looping arms with Emmeline so that they wouldn't get separated. They did however, get separated from James and Sirius; and even with his height, she could no longer catch sight of his messy head of hair.
"Come on," Emmeline prompted. "Let's see if our compartment is still free."
It was. Lily dropped her canvas bag onto the seat, taking the spot nearest to the window so that she could watch the scenery once the train had taken off.
Only a few moments later, Dorcas and Alice found them, having left their counterparts in their own compartment ("But I might say goodbye once more," Dorcas said wryly, as Alice echoed the sentiment). The four girls settled into the seats, preparing for the ride home.
Just as the train whistled its departure warning, the door to the compartment slid open with a loud thud.
"Sorry," Sirius said, voice muffled by the bag of candy floss between his teeth, arms filled with boxes of candy. "Ha'y Chris'mas."
He tossed them onto the compartment's small table, boxes, bags, and sacks of candy scattering. He collapsed into the seat nearest to the window across from her.
"What's all this?" Dorcas plucked a box of Berty's beans from the disarray.
"Happy Christmas," James repeated, dropping another armful of candy onto the table.
Lily laughed as the packages of sweets overflowed, tumbling onto the floor. "Where did this come from?"
"The trolley," Sirius provided, grabbing a chocolate frog. "The trick is to get there before the trolley witch starts her run."
James took the only seat left – beside her on the bench seat. "Quill?" he offered, pulling a handful out of his jacket's pocket. "It's your favorite, right?"
This, for an inexplicable reason, tightened her ribcage once more, just as it had done before. "Yeah, it is. Thanks," she murmured, accepting them gratefully, placing the rest into the pile.
The group chattered in a friendly manner, before soon falling into a lull.
Lily glanced at her feet, over across the bench, spotting her bag just on the other side of James's trainers. "Could you hand me my bag?"
"Sure," he said, grabbing it carefully and handing it over. "Here." She was inexplicably conscious of the fact their hands touched when the bag was passed between them.
"Thanks," she said quietly, looking away from him quickly to loosen the strap and rummage for her potions book.
"Is that a gift, Evs?" Sirius inquired with a devilish smile, leaning over to peer into her bag.
Her cheeks flamed, adjusting the grip on her bag and tucking the gift box (a small box covered in spelled green wrapping paper) further into her bag. "Wow, very astute, Sirius. Don't you know not to pry into a witch's things?"
"Anything in there for me?"
She laughed. "Sorry, Black. You'll have to wait for yours."
He huffed, slouching into the seat. "Alright. I need something to distract me then. Prongs, game of Exploding Snap?"
"Already got the deck ready," James confirmed, pulling it out of his pocket.
After a few rounds, their game soon pulled in Emmeline and Dorcas, as Lily and Alice watched as spectators. ("Oh, no," Emmeline had bemoaned, a spark burning a hole through her Gryffindor scarf. Sirius and James weren't any safer – their sleeves had multiple charr marks.)
The commotion paused when the trolley witch knocked on the door, slid it open, and caught sight of the mountain of wrappers and candy atop the table. She looked less than impressed, letting the door slide back closed.
The group burst into shared laughter, the mood light and happy.
This was what she was going to miss going home. Knowing that the others wouldn't at least be at Hogwarts during the break made it feel a bit better – it wasn't that she was going to miss much. The others would be home. Except Marlene, Peter, and Remus, she remembered, a bit guilty.
Once their laughter had died down, Alice checked the time, noting that she was going to meet with Frank in the buffet car for lunch. Dorcas used the opportunity to duck away, too – and in an unsurprising motion, Emmeline also ducked out ("Danny will be alone in the 7th Year compartment. Why not?").
Sirius sighed and stretched, turning in his seat so that he could lay across the bench. "I think I might take a kip, then," he murmured, crossing his arms over his eyes to drown out the light. "Wake me up if something interesting happens."
Overtly aware of the warm body beside her, Lily glanced over towards James, where he was diligently working to fold the deck into a somewhat organized pile in his hands. She grabbed another sugar quill from the pile to keep her hands busy.
"Thanks again," she murmured, noisily unwrapping it.
He shrugged, focused on his task. "You're welcome."
She pointed with her forefinger. "You've got a bit of ash on your cheek."
"Oh," he said. "Here?" He used the heel of his hand to wipe across the top of his cheekbone.
She chuckled. "No, you've completely missed it. It's by your – mouth."
James rubbed over the skin near his chin. "Did I get it?"
"No," she huffed with a laugh. "Here, let me."
She reached forward with one hand to still his head, using her thumb and pointer to grip onto his jaw to turn his face towards her. She used the thumb of her other hand to wipe at the mark where it smudged across the space just below his lower lip. The edge of her nail dipped into his lower, full lip.
"There," she said mildly, with more bravado than she felt and released his face.
"Thanks," he murmured and she could tell he was studying her expression.
She forced herself to look away, turning her attention towards picking back up her potions book and creasing it open with fingers she hoped he didn't notice were slightly shaky.
Emmeline rejoined them soon after, smacking Sirius's feet so he'd move them so she could sit. From over the top of her book, Lily was pleased to find her friend content, a bit dreamy, as she settled into the corner of the seat and pulled out her own book.
It wasn't long before both Sirius and James snoozed in their spots – and Lily was quickly losing interest in the words before her. She'd gotten five chapters in, a good amount, before she softly closed the book and set it in front of her onto the table. She grabbed another sugar quill, taking care to open it as quietly as possible.
Would Petunia be there with her mother to pick her up from the station, as was per Christmas tradition? Would Vernon be there?
Lily traced the outline of a little snowflake on the condensation that had built up on the window. It was a lazy, unneat thing; more spiderweb than snowflake. She used her cold fingers to smudge it out of existence.
She'd have to face the Dursley family again, deal with them assuming she was some sort of lunatic, the bad blood of the family.
Could she really face Vernon after what he had done – how he had threatened her that night?
Another snowflake was traced and destroyed against the heat of her finger.
How Petunia had let it all happen. How she had slapped her.
Lily felt incredibly weary all the sudden. Was it too late to change her mind and return to the castle?
"You alright?"
She turned to find James watching her, feeling her cheeks warmly at his attention. She smiled weakly. "Just… worried about the next few weeks."
"Things really that bad?"
Her gaze returned to the landscape beyond the window as she shrugged. "Pet's fiance is just… not a really good character."
He shifted, the warmth of his thigh near hers distracting. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely, quietly in a manner so as not to disturb the others.
"It's fine," she said. "It's not like Pet and I's relationship was all that great."
He hummed, thinking over her response. She was grateful he at least didn't apologize once more..
"Owl me," he insisted, voice muted.
She snorted. "Owl you?"
He grinned. "If you need anything."
Her smile was wry. "What, you'll come rescue me?"
"If you want," James said earnestly. "It's not like we have that much planned."
It honestly wasn't the worst idea he's had. "Pet would definitely kill me," she chuckled quietly. "I appreciate the offer, though."
He raised a shoulder, crossed his arms and shifted again, his thigh pressing into hers. She glanced to see if he had done it on purpose, but he gave away no tells.
The rest of the train ride was uneventful. Dorcas had returned at one point, but Lily had been dozing with her face tucked into her arms on the table. When she fully regained her consciousness, the sun had nearly set against the horizon, casting orange glows among the snow-covered buildings as they made their way into London.
When the train pulled into King's Station, Alice had returned to the compartment as well, hair a bit mussed and cheeks pink.
When she stepped off the train just behind James, Lily was excited to catch sight of her mother's auburn hair across the way. She glanced about, looking for Petunia, but her mum stood alone, waving as she too caught sight of her.
Before joining her, Lily turned to give Alice, Dorcas, and Emmeline a swift hug, wishing murmurs of Happy Christmas into their ears and pulling away.
When she turned in the direction of her mother, she nearly ran into James, who appeared to be waiting patiently.
"Owl me," he repeated with a grin.
She rolled her eyes. "Are your parents here, as well?"
"Nah," he shrugged. "Sirius will be apparating us back."
"That's right, he just turned seventeen. Exciting," she teased. "Make sure to hold him tight so you don't lose any of your bits."
"Worried about my bits, Evans? My, a Christmas miracle."
She scoffed. "Miracle's aren't that common."
James laughed outright at her reaction. "For you."
Sirius shouted James's name from further down the platform.
"I guess you should be going then," he said, hand raising to smooth his hair down.
"Have a Happy Christmas," she said and – with a spontaneous burst of courage – reached up with one arm to wrap it around his neck in a semblance of a hug.
He didn't immediately react, obviously surprised, but then it was only a quick moment before his arms were wrapping around her waist and – Lily suddenly felt very warm, alight by his touch.
In a manner that was probably a bit too skittish, she pulled away from him, unable to meet his eye as she turned to wave goodbye towards Sirius. "Bye, Black," she called, hoping her tone was at least somewhat even. "Happy Christmas!"
"Happy Christmas," Sirius returned loudly, his tone just a bit too smug.
Lily willed the heat in her cheeks to dissipate as she made her way towards where her mum was standing by the entrance to the muggle platform.
"Making new friends?" Rose Evans asked wryly, pulling her youngest daughter into a tight hug.
"Shut it," Lily threatened quietly into her mum's shoulder. "I don't want to hear a thing."
Rose pulled back, mimed twisting a key against her lips. "We've got other things to focus on. Though… you could introduce me."
"Mum," she complained, pulling her through the barrier. "Let's just get to the car."
Once they settled into the car, Rose turned to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Are you ready?" she asked, squeezing.
"You act like I'm the one getting married," Lily laughed, turning to buckle herself in.
"Well, Pet hasn't been around for me to worry about. I need someone to harp on," Rose said petulantly as she turned the keys, the car engine roaring to life.
While the countryside had been beautiful and covered in snow, the London landscape was drenched in dirty, slushy mush. Lily felt it appropriate. She remained quiet for most of the ride, watching the street lights glow in the night.
"Is there anything else I should know?" Lily asked, settling into the passenger seat more comfortably.
"About?"
"The wedding, Mum," Lily scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"Now, if you're going to have an attitude…"
She scoffed with a laugh. "I do not have an attitude… I just want to know if there's anything else I should be prepared for."
Rose hummed in thought, tapping a finger against the steering wheel. "I think I mentioned everything in the letter. Just be prepared for a lot of errands. I'm positive a lot of last minute things will pop up. We'll keep plenty busy."
"Why'd she pick Christmas time again?" she asked, nose scrunching up. "Double the gifts?"
"Well, aren't you turning into a little Scrooge?"
"Sorry," Lily muttered, a bit guilty at the jab. She settled into her seat further, feeling her stomach churn slightly. She figured this was probably much how one would feel getting close to a Dementor.
"Can you at least put on a bright face for me?"
Lily turned to give her mother her best conjured smile.
"Okay, love, drop it. I don't want you scaring family."
"Hey," she exclaimed defensively. "That's all I can muster."
Rose grimaced, turning onto the road that would carry them home. "Pet's been rather touchy lately. I don't need two daughters annoyed by me."
"Sorry, mum," she said, meaning it a bit more this time. "I'll be good, I promise."
"Well, it's not you I'm worried about. I know you're strong. Let's just hope everything else goes smoothly."
"It will," Lily said with conviction, silently making a vow to purposely better her mood. If this was going to be shite holiday break, she'd be damned if it was at all her fault.
There was no reason to be this glum. It was the Holidays, which meant no classes or schoolwork. She was able to see her mother and get to sleep in her own bed. It was going to be Christmas soon and Petunia was getting married to a bloody, overweight, good-for-nothing tosser –
Lily frowned, displeased. It would be a little harder than she thought.
"Come on," said Rose impatiently, having already placed the car in the parking position. "We've got centerpieces to work on and I've still got to put together dinner."
Lily got out of the car, pulling her bag from the back seat. "But Pet's not here," she said in surprise. No sign of her or Vernon. Good. "I thought she'd want to be here to help with the centerpieces."
She followed her mother up to the front door, waiting patiently for her to unlock the door.
Rose popped open the door after a moment, allowing Lily in first. "She's staying with Molly until the wedding. Having spa and girl time."
"Oh," Lily said, dropping her bag onto the couch. Molly Bloody Parnell. "Were they going to have a hen night?" she asked lightly.
"On Thursday," her mum said, turning on the lights in the family room. She gave her daughter an apologetic smile. "I heard they're going pub-hopping. Since you're not quite of age yet…"
"I wasn't invited," she surmised, a bit put-out.
"It's not that Pet didn't want you there, love," Rose inserted quickly. "I'm sure she just thought you'd feel left out."
"Right." She put on a brave face, choosing not to point out the flaw in her mother's attempt at making her feel better.
While sure, she may have felt left out not being able to drink, at least she wouldn't have been actually left out.
She followed her mother into the kitchen, halting in shock when she caught sight of the dozen boxes filled with glass bowls, candles, ribbons, and silk flowers. The table was full of them and only two chairs were left open.
"These are for the tables?"
"Yep," Rose said, setting her purse on one of the empty spaces left on the table.
"What does she expect us to do with them?"
Rose was ready for this question, pulling out a folder from her purse. She handed it over to her daughter.
Lily accepted it warily, flipping it open. They were pictures and diagrams, the folder full of plans for the centerpieces and how they were to be made. "Oh, my God."
Rose gave her a chastising look at the curse, but her face held some sympathy. "This'll be what we're working on tonight."
"And tomorrow," she scoffed, flipping through the pages. "And maybe even right up to the wedding."
Her mother waved her off. "We'll set up an assembly line – I'll manage the design, you'll operate the hot glue-gun."
Lily winced, not looking forward to wielding the tool she'd been forced used many times before. If only she were already seventeen… She sank into one of the empty seats. "We're going to need a lot of chips."
"On it," Rose smiled, pulling the bag out of the fridge.
"And sweets," Lily added, setting her chin in her hand.
"In the cupboard."
"And some bubbly?" she asked sweetly.
Her mother gave her a pointed glare, accompanied by a warning finger. "None for you."
Lily laughed. "Only joking."
"You better be," her mum said.
"Mum," she countered with a diplomatic tone. She picked up a pale pink ribbon. It was frilly and lacey. "I'm sixteen, not six."
"You'll always be six to me, love," Rose said, coming around the table to give Lily's forehead a wet kiss. "Don't dirty that, Petunia will kill me."
She dropped the offensive ribbon, frowning.
After Lily and her mother sat through three servings of chips, half a bag of chocolate, and a glass of wine (her mother's, of course), they began working on the centerpieces at the table.
By the time Lily burned herself a fifth time, she dropped the glue-gun and pouted. "How many do we have to do?"
"Forty," said Rose calmly, rearranging the flowers inside of a vase.
"Forty!" Lily cried out, her eyes wide.
"Remember, there's over three hundred guests. That means a lot of tables."
"Of course," she muttered, deadpanned, rubbing at the sore spots on her hand. It took a lot of mental preparation to pick the glue-gun back up.
"Speaking of guests," said Rose calmly. "Are you sure you aren't bringing anyone?"
"I'm Maid of Honor," Lily brushed her off, wincing when the hot end of the gun touched the tip of her finger. Bloody, lacey ribbon… "I don't think I'd have much time to entertain."
"You could've invited a friend."
"I invited Marlene," Lily sighed, twisting the glass bowl in front of her to tie the ribbon. "She said no."
"No boys?"
"No Severus," Lily said firmly.
Her mother looked surprised that Lily spoke his name. "Wasn't talking about Severus," Rose said. "No one else? No other friends?"
"Like James?" Lily said absentmindedly, concentrating on applying a small glob of glue.
"James?" Her mother's brows rose under her fringe. "As in… James Potter?"
Lily would've flinched, having realized her mistake too late, but she didn't want her mother to misinterpret the action, as if she should be embarrassed (What in Merlin's beard made her say his name?).
She shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah, I guess I could've invited him. Or, you know, others. Maybe Sirius or Remus."
Rose sat back in her chair, watching Lily with narrowed eyes and a teasing smile. "Right… because James's your… friend?"
She brushed a piece of hair out of her face, trying not to look flustered. "Right. They're all my mates."
"And you just so happen to casually name drop James as the first boy to come to your mind?"
"Mum," Lily warned, raising her glue-gun in a threatening manner. "We're just friends."
"Alright," Rose yielded after a staredown. "I won't push."
But Lily didn't let her guard down just yet, waiting for her mother to do the exact opposite of what she stated… but her mother picked up the next candle and silk flower from a box, continuing her work.
"You know," Rose began.
Lily grimaced.
"Your father and I didn't get along when we first met, either."
"Mum," Lily groaned. "That's not even – why would you – no, we're just friends. And Dad told me that he adored you the first time he saw you."
Rose scoffed, but Lily could tell her mother was pleased at hearing this. "That's what he said. But he was the one to take the last basket of fish and chips at the work luncheon." Her nose turned up, as if offended by the memory.
Lily laughed. "And then he offered to share them with you and offered to buy you lunch for the rest of the week. I hardly think that counts as 'not getting along'."
Rose brushed her off. "It did in my book!" she said firmly, "Took more than just a week of lunch to make it up to me."
"I'm sure it did," Lily said wryly.
Rose huffed, but thankfully dropped the subject.
After a bit of silence, her mum turned on the radio so they could work a bit more relaxed, humming along to random songs. They glued, tied, and stuffed well into the night, Lily going to bed with at least a dozen burns and head full of pink, lacey-ribboned thoughts.
Definitely none of James or wondering why she thought of him.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
As Rose Evans promised, the next few days leading up the wedding were busy. Between picking up the dresses ("Make sure they steamed and pressed my gown! There better not be ONE wrinkle!" Petunia had screeched into the phone) and the groomsmen's suits ("Don't forget to grab the cuff-links – Vernon picked them out special," Pet swooned, but really, they were plain and silver and Lily didn't think they were necessary), Lily was too distracted to feel all that sorry for herself (or think about… other things).
She was, at least, able to retrieve gifts for Sirius, Remus, and Peter. They were wrapped neatly and placed in one of the drawers of her desk, just beside James's own gift.
When her mother had brought her to the cake shop for one final taste test, Lily was finally able to see Petunia in person.
It was one of those shops that was filled to the brim with fake cake displays that you could barely walk through without bumping into one. It was also disappointing to be surrounded by so much fake sugar.
"Vernon couldn't make it?" Rose asked her eldest daughter, squeezing past an elaborate blue and purple, five-tiered cake. The baker had already gone to the back to collect the samples.
"Had to work in the office," said Petunia with disappointment. She toyed with the tip of a piece of tinsel that was dangling from a different cake.
Lily wondered why someone would want that atop of their cake – it certainly didn't seem edible or worth the effort.
"He works too much," Rose said, in the worried way that a mother would be concerned. "Has he got any time for you?"
"He's up for a promotion – he has to put in the hours to show he's serious," Petunia replied curtly.
Rose nodded slowly. "I remember now. I'm happy to hear he's still in the running."
"Of course he is."
Lily caught her mother's eye and they both shared an eye-roll at Petunia's protectiveness over her fiance.
"I thought she already picked out the cake," Lily said quietly to her mum when Petunia was lost between the towers of displays.
"She did, but wants to be sure of her choice," Rose answered. "She's just being thorough."
Lily smirked, not surprised by her sister's extra attention on the details.
"So what type of flavor did you go with, Pet?" she asked loud enough for Petunia to hear, reaching out to touch a rose petal upon a brightly colored yellow cake.
It squished under her finger, created from some sort of soft wax. She tried to inconspicuously wipe the residue from her finger on her jeans.
"Strawberry," Petunia answered promptly, as if there was even any other choice.
"Right," said Lily, thinking of the pink lace ribbon, the pink candles, and flowers. "Brilliant. That'll go with everything."
Recognizing the barb in her tone, Petunia gave her a scathing look, daring her to say anything argumentative, but Lily looked away quickly, happy when the baker finally revealed herself and an armful of different plates filled with various strawberry flavored cakes.
Not that she was going to complain, being fed free cake, but she thought that maybe it was a bit too much.
When they were done with the five (yes, five) different cake styles, Petunia gave a quick, succinct nod, pointing at the first plate in the row. "That's it, that's the one."
The baker looked torn between being pleased and exasperated. "The one you picked the last three times," she grunted under her breath, already collecting the plates.
"It didn't taste right, the last time," Petunia snapped, pursing her lips. "You have to make sure it's perfect when we pick it up on Saturday."
"Of course, it will," Rose soothed, wrapping an arm around Petunia's shoulder and saving the baker from responding.
The woman looked grateful, quickly leaving the three Evans women alone.
"If she doesn't make it proper…"
"She will," Rose said reassuringly. "You've nothing to worry about."
Petunia scoffed, neatly crossing her legs and pressing a finger to her forehead, as if to starve off an oncoming headache. Lily resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
Their mother stood. "I'm going to run to the loo. Try to grab me a macaroon."
Lily smiled in amusement, having already eyed the plate of delicious looking pastries on the counter.
When her mother was out of earshot, Petunia turned to her with a sharp look.
"What's wrong?" Lily asked, suddenly worried by her sister's expression.
She looked distracted, as if she were working up the nerve to say something.
Lily touched her arm. "You picked the right flavor, Pet. It'll be wonderful with everything, I promise."
"I know it will be," Petunia said. "It's exactly what I wanted."
"What is it, then?" she asked.
"We need to talk about your role as Maid of Honor," Petunia started. "You –"
"I know I wasn't invited to the hen party," Lily interrupted in a rush. "And that's okay. No one wants the little sister around to bother everyone, I get it. But I'll be there for everything else."
She counted out on her fingers, having been well-prepared. "Guard the veil. Collect the bouquets. Have a bag of tissue, tube of lipstick, perfume –"
"Lily –"
"And make sure everything is packed and ready to go. I've got a list and everything."
"That's not what I wanted to talk to you about."
Lily looked at her in confusion. "Did I forget to do something?"
But Petunia's response was cut off by their mother's return and she looked all too happy to change the subject. Lily watched her older sister for a moment longer, noting the way she didn't quite meet her eyes.
"Get the macaroons?" Rose asked in a quiet, covert voice as her two daughters stood
Lily shook her head negative, still distracted by watching her sister.
"Let's go," Petunia said in a clipped tone. "We still need to pick up my jewelry from the store."
-:-
Then suddenly, it was the day before the wedding.
Lily felt as though she barely had any time to catch her breath. She'd taken special care to do everything that her sister had asked, hoping to make amends (despite her… enormous dislike of her fiance – but it looked like Pet was going through with the wedding and so Lily would have to concede).
It seemed to be working; and though Lily hadn't been invited out to the hen party festivities, she was invited to the dinner beforehand.
While she didn't like many of Petunia's friends, it was nice to be included and spend time around other people her age. Even though she was ignored for most of the meal.
"Ready?" Rose asked her, knocking on the door jamb of her bedroom. "Pet wanted to be early to the church for the practice ceremony."
Lily adjusted the collar of her soft-blue dress and checked to make sure the back was wrinkle free, smoothing it out to where it fell against the floor. "Ready," she confirmed, grabbing her purse from her desk and following her mother out.
"Grab your winter coat," her mother ordered. "We're expected to get some more snow/rain mixture."
Lily did as told, grabbing her weathered grey coat and slipping it on over her floor-length dress and sure enough, it was spitting rain in the cold, frigid air. She took care to clutch onto her dress to avoid getting the bottom wet; Petunia would see it and complain.
By the time they got to the church, it seemed that they were the last of the wedding party to arrive. Lily nervously smoothed down her wind-blown hair as her mother took her coat, doing her best to tuck away the stray hairs back into the bun she had attempted to style earlier.
Petunia was standing at the back of the church, whispering among the other bridesmaids. Lily made her way towards them, trying not to think too much of the looks Molly, Felicia, Tara, and Marge were giving her.
"Hello," she greeted once she'd come closer. "The church is beautiful."
"Isn't it?" Tara, the nicest of the group, grinned. Maybe not the nicest – but certainly the most apathetic. "It's quite old."
"The priest is about to start the rehearsal," Petunia said, adjusting the straps of the eggshell white, lace dress she wore. "I'm glad you could make it in time."
Lily caught the shortness of her tone and felt wrongly chastised. They were all early and they both knew there was plenty of time.
She smartly kept her mouth shut and gave a curt, apologetic nod.
Petunia was already onto other things. "I want Marge to go first, then Tara, Felicia, and Molly. Make sure to go at a slow pace. Don't walk too fast – but not too slow."
She turned towards Lily, waiting a beat before continuing. "Maid of Honor goes last. Don't trip."
It was something that Lily hadn't been worried about before that moment, but now it certainly was.
At the cue of the priest's not-so-subtle cough to gain their attention, they were off.
Lily did her best to count her steps, paying attention to what was in front of her rather than staring at the floor. She tried not to let the cold stare from Vernon bother her, but a shiver and feeling of dread came over her nonetheless. She did not recognize any of the groomsmen.
She stood among the other bridesmaids as the priest walked them through an overview of the ceremony and the vows. She listened for her cue to take Petunia's bouquet and the cue to hand it back.
Fortunately, the whole faux parade was quick and painless and Lily hoped the actual ceremony would be the same (though she doubted it).
Her hand grasped the inside of the best man's elbow as they practiced the recessional, trying her best to not scrunch her nose as the guy's amount of aftershave.
Her mother pressed a hand over her heart, teary eyed, as she mistook Lily's own watery eyes for emotion.
"Meet at Temps Classique in an hour!" Petunia called out amongst the group of ten.
Lily's eyebrows rose, instantly recognizing the name. "Why're we going there?"
"It's where the rehearsal dinner is," Tara answered, looking surprised that she didn't know. "Pet picked it special."
"Oh," Lily replied blankly, quickly excusing herself to return to her mother's side. "Classique? That's where she's having the dinner tonight?"
"It was a bit of a last minute change," Rose conceded, but didn't look too put off.
Lily reluctantly smiled, knowing that her mum would feel touched that Petunia had chosen that particular restaurant.
An hour later, as ordered, Lily walked into the restaurant with her mother, feeling a bit awed and breathless.
Because in all actuality, this was the restaurant her dad had proposed to her mum.
It was a long, low lit room, with tall ceilings, with strung up lights that made it look like night. It reminded Lily of Hogwarts. It smelled old; an odd mixture of an old-fashioned brewery and a library.
This is where she'd want to get married, she decided. No fuss, no church; just a warm, close personal surrounding to share with family and close friends.
Rose tugged on her arm, leading her towards the large group of tables in the back of the room.
Nearly all the seats were taken and there was already a lot of chatter (the Dursleys were a loud family, Lily was unsurprised to find). She slipped into the open chair between her sister and her mother, trying not to focus on the way Vernon and his parents were looking at her warily, as if she might explode at any moment.
She took a sip of iced water to calm her nerves.
Ever the savant at conversations and handling people, Rose stepped into the spotlight, answering questions and carrying the chatter in the charismatic way Lily knew her for.
Not that Lily herself had to worry about chatting, not being spoken directly to beside quiet comments or affirmations. She slid further back into her chair, allowing her mother to talk around her towards the other side of the table.
This cold indifference, Lily decided, was better than spitting anger and threats. She ate beside her sister and responded when appropriate, feeling oddly disconnected.
She had never felt so non-existent.
When the dessert plates were cleared and most of the guests at the table began to take their leave, Lily politely excused herself, standing from the table with as much dignity as she could.
Disaster struck, though. Her dress skirt caught on the chair's leg, causing her to stumble forward into the table, leftover plates and half-full glasses clattering loudly.
A glass holding red wine pitched forward, splashing against the silver dress Mrs. Dursley wore. She jumped up, exclaiming in shock.
Mr. Dursley jumped up as well, grabbing a napkin to uselessly wipe away the spilled wine.
Rose already had moved to action, waving over a waiter to retrieve club soda and extra cloth napkins. It all happened very quickly.
"Bloody witch," Vernon cursed in a low angry voice, glaring at her darkly. It had been quiet enough that only Lily and Petunia had heard, but his words made Lily feel as if he had shouted.
Stricken, Lily met Petunia's horrified gaze. "It was an accident," she said immediately. "My dress – it got caught –" she handed over her own clean napkin, which Vernon tore out of her hand and threw on the floor.
"Look what you've done," Petunia said in a quiet, tremulous voice. "Leave."
Rose clucked, having returned with a bottle of club soda from the waiter. "Now, it's nothing to be upset over. This'll come out, no problem," she said, wetting a napkin and handing it over to Mrs. Dursley. "And if it doesn't, send me the dry cleaning bill," she joked.
"I'm so sorry," said Lily to Mrs. Dursley in a shaky voice, unable to make eye contact.
She did as her sister requested and bolted for the front, side-stepping and maneuvering around the patrons of the restaurant.
The frosty air knocked what little breath she had in her lungs as she burst through the door on weak legs. She inhaled stuttering breaths, feeling as though a great weight had settled on her chest.
Her hands pressed hard against her hot cheeks and Lily closed her eyes tightly against the threat of oncoming tears.
She cried out in surprise when a hand reached out to grip her arm tightly.
It was Petunia. "I need to speak with you."
Lily glanced around furtively, looking for her mother. The tone in her sister's voice made her nervous. "Okay," she said, shakily, trying to act like she wasn't about to hyperventilate. "What?"
"You're not my Maid of Honor."
Lily blinked slowly. "I'm… not?"
Her sister shifted between her feet impatiently. "You're not going to be my Maid of Honor. I've given the spot to Molly."
She blinked a second time... Not going to be Maid of Honor... . "But – does Mum know?"... Given the spot to Molly bloody Parnell.
Petunia raised a slim shoulder, looking out across the street instead of Lily's face. "I've told her, just now."
"But I…"
Lily swallowed the lump in her throat, struggling to process the news. "I… wanted to be your Maid of Honor. But I… I understand, I mean," she said thickly, though she really didn't. "I'll make sure we switch the corsages; so that Molly gets the right one."
"You won't need to wear one," her sister said, still not looking at her. "You're not going to be in the wedding party."
This one took a little bit longer for Lily to process. "I'm not even… a bridesmaid?"
"Vernon thought it prudent. We don't want many people to ask questions. I don't like to lie, you know. And so this will… be the easiest way."
"Easiest way?" she echoed. "But, Pet. I'm your sister. You don't want me there? Up there with you?"
"We've already made the decision."
Lily shook her head, pressing the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. "I'm sorry about what happened in there – I didn't mean to spill the wine. I really didn't! I mean, I think, isn't this… a bit dramatic?" Her voice was starting to sound shrill even to her own ears.
This was the wrong thing to say. Petunia scoffed and glared. "Dramatic, Lily? Just because this one thing isn't about you, doesn't mean it's the end of the world!"
"That's not what I meant! I didn't mean to say it like that –"
Petunia turned up her nose. "Besides. We decided it best. You're out."
Before Lily could have a chance to protest, to explain her worthiness of the position, to explain once more that spilling the wine was an accident, Petunia spun on her stilettoed heel and left her standing outside of the restaurant by herself.
She wasn't sure how long she stood there, overwhelmed with heartache and disbelief. Distantly, Lily heard the door open behind her.
"Lily? You okay, love?" her mother's voice asked.
She shook her head, knowing she was a bit teary-eyed. "Pet… just told me…"
Rose rushed forward and hugged her youngest daughter. "I'm so sorry, Lily. I tried to talk some sense into –"
"Mum," interjected Lily, her voice weaker than what she would have liked. She swallowed hard, still processing. "I get it. She doesn't want me… in the wedding."
"It's not that she doesn't want you –"
"Mum," she interrupted again, tone flat. "Can we just go home?"
By the time they got home and Lily stumbled into her room, her shaky hands were already pulling out a piece of paper and a pencil before her mind even registered her actions… Horrible time… , she wrote with blurry vision. Pet doesn't want me as Maid of Honor… hates me…
Her tears were falling before she could stop them. Buck up, she told herself silently. This couldn't have been a surprise, could it? It was a bitter, but honest thought.
The letter was folded up rather violently, the sound making her owl twitch anxiously.
"Sorry," she said to him, reaching over to smooth his feathers. "And sorry for doing this – I know it's pretty cold out there. But please, get this is Marlene?"
He hooted in response, accepting the letter valiantly, and waited patiently for her to open the window. The gust of wind nearly tore off the posters on her wall, but she held it open, allowing time for the owl to escape.
He jumped onto the windowsill, his feathers ruffled.
"You can stay at Hogwarts," she told him. "Don't want you caught out in any bad weather."
He blinked up at her, as if he understood, before opening his wings and taking off against the blistering wind. Lily sat with the window open until she could no longer see his wings, her tears falling just as the rain began outside.
