"How are you late? You left earlier than all of us."

Sirius swallowed slowly, he wasn't ready to hear that voice, he wasn't ready to feel those feelings again.

"Got held up," he mumbled, sliding down into his seat next to James, sitting the row ahead of Remus and Peter.

That was good, no accidental glances this time. If he just faced forward, maybe even paid attention, he could get away with not looking at Remus for the morning. If this damn spell could just wear off-

"You good, man?" James interrupted quietly, elbowing him in the side. "You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

Sirius gave him a good natured shove in return, trying to keep up a smile, "Well, I don't know if you've noticed James, but we live in a castle full of them."

"Ew, when do you ever call me James?" he replied, before holding a hand up to Sirius's forehead, and turning around to the rest of their quartet. "I think it might serious lads," he continued in an exaggerated whisper.

"Get off me! Is your hearing as bad as your eyesight? And of course I'm Sirius, who else would I be? Tosser."

"And he's back!" exclaimed James, possibly too loudly.

"You boys! 5 points each!" came the high squeaky voice of professor Flitwick.

Ah, definitely too loud.

"I know you four have no desire to pay attention in my class but some students come here to learn!"

The usual chorus of 'sorry sir' harmonised with their quiet chuckles, and they returned back to work.

Elbow propped up one the desk, and leaning heavily into his hand, Remus Lupin was totally invested in the notes in front of him. Which was absolutely perfect for a someone - no one in particular mind you - who, try as they might, couldn't help but sneak glances back at him throughout the lesson. Hues of deep blue washed over an intensely steady stream of charms knowledge, something very safe for Sirius to listen in to, but also so eye-opening.

Not because of the charms, none of that was new to him. But because of what it was like to see things the way Moony did. It wasn't until you experienced someone else's thoughts that you really thought about how your own mind worked. Sirius's thoughts flittered in and out of his mind as though he were reading them, there and gone too quickly to register. Quick and constant, often and simple. Easy to back track through, rifling through folders of photographic memories and detailed trains of thought.

Remus was completely different. Everything he thought and felt swirled around in colours, voice like an echo through his mind. It was a very disconcerting way of thinking, but it was beautiful. Especially seeing himself this morning from the other boy's perspective, so vibrant and warm, like flickering candlelight and the undersides of clouds at sunrise.

'He's so fucking gorgeous that's actually unfair'

Is that what Remus thought when he looked at him? That thought had echoed through Sirius's mind like church bells since he had been left alone in the dorm that morning. Did he dare hope that meant what he so desperately wanted it to? Did he have a chance? Maybe if he should just tell Remus about this whole thing-

"Hey you,"

Sirius tensed as he felt the suggestion of warm breath dance across his neck. A flick of his eyes confirmed that a certain someone was leaning forward over his desk to whisper to him, as if summoned by Sirius's own thoughts. Shit, what if Remus had known this whole time, and had heard everything Sirius had been thinking all morning? Oh that would be mortifying. He could really see why he had been against this whole thing. And if he knew...

"You sure you're okay? I don't think I've ever seen you sit so straight in a chair before."

Ha, straight. If only. Sirius supposed it probably did seem strange, that where he'd normally lean so far back in his chair it would sometimes rest against Moony's desk, and he would share whispered conversations with him throughout the class, he was instead hunched over an empty desk, trying to surreptitiously glance over his shoulder instead. But Remus didn't know. And Sirius tried to convince himself that's what he wanted.

"Just fine Moons, don't worry about me," he said lightly, the internal panic that came with having the steady breathing of one R. J. Lupin dancing through your hair very much alive and well.

"I'm never not worried about you, idiot," Remus chuckled softly, brushing the back of Sirius's ear with his quill.

Sirius swatted at it, deliberately not turning to look at him.

"Twat."

"C'mon, you know you love me."

And you see, that was just too much for Sirius's very scrambled brain. He spun exasperatedly in his seat to give Remus a piece of his mind because really, it was hard enough to concentrate as iswithout this wonderfully torturous teasing, but damn him, Sirius found himself caught in those unassuming amber eyes yet again.

A soupy stream of silver stardust swum through his mind as wind chimes tinkled and Remus's voice echoed a resounding There he is.

Too much. It was all too much. Remus's feelings were calm and glittering but Sirius felt static jumping through his veins.

Remus's casual smile shifted to concern, his lips parting ever so slightly and god Sirius could just live in visions of that for the rest of his life. The other boy slid his hand across the desk towards him, a glow and a spark heading for collision.

"And that concludes our lesson for today, you may now pack up your things and-"

Sirius leapt out of his chair fast as lighting. Never once had he been grateful to be stopped from touching Moony, but right now he just didn't know if he could bare it.

He scrambled to gather his things, not even waiting for James, before making a beeline for the door.

A soft grip on his wrist trapped him briefly in his place.

"Sirius, wait-"

"Please don't touch me."

And with that he was gone, wrist tingling and eyes burning, leaving behind a confused James, an unaware Peter, and an unsettled Remus.