"Chemistry is you touching my arm and setting fire to my mind."
- Nayyirah Waheed
~ • ~
Guilty.
That was the emotion that plagued Kaiya's mind.
It had been five days since she had allowed herself to let her guard down and just enjoy being held by Naruto.
Let herself seek comfort from him, his warmth passing onto her in the embrace.
Sure, he had held her hands a few times to calm her which was kind… but she was in his arms for hours. Hours.
It was beyond just letting him make her feel better and Kaiya knew it. It was nothing but selfish, indulging in a fantasy that couldn't ever happen.
She didn't belong here.
She couldn't ever belong here.
Kaiya couldn't entertain any thoughts contrary to that.
So since then, she had tried her best to keep her distance, only engaging in conversation when necessary and sticking to her new routine. It was difficult, but keeping Naruto at arms length was necessary. Her presence in this world was already going to cause things to shift, but Kaiya didn't want to be a direct cause either.
This morning was no different, waking with the warm dawn sun and heading to the kitchen to make breakfast.
Kaiya had taken over cooking duties within days of living with the kuubi-container. It was necessary as she had gotten sick of ramen pretty fast, and wanted to add some familiarity from her old life with the one thing she had control over. It was cathartic, mundane enough to keep the mind occupied.
Naruto didn't seem to mind, enjoying the the 'exotic' dishes she would make along with the Japanese cuisine she made sure to include.
Kaiya was cracking eggs into a large bowl while whisking when Naruto emerged from his room, heavy footed and still waking.
"Morning," Naruto sighed with a stretch as he sat down, crossing his arms on the table.
"Mhn," Kaiya hummed, putting milk and eggs back in the fridge, then lighting the stove.
It was silent between them. Sometimes Kaiya would have music playing from her phone to make it easier to avoid conversation but unfortunately she had run it dead the night before and had forgotten to charge it.
So the tension was sitting in the air, nothing but the sounds of pancake batter sizzling when it hit the pan and Naruto drumming his fingers against the table.
"Did I do something?" Naruto asked, breaking the silence.
"No," Kaiya replied instantly.
Another hiss from batter searing with a pancake flip.
"Did something happen?"
"Nothing I can think of."
Kaiya continued to cook away without turning to face him, he would get bored of her eventually. She would stick to her guns.
"Is something bothering you?"
"No, Naruto."
She heard the sound of wood scraping against floorboard, followed by an audible sigh.
Good, she thought, I can cook in peace… he'll leave now.
Or so Kaiya thought, before footsteps sounded like they were getting louder not softer.
"Did you think I wouldn't notice what you are doing?" Naruto said with an edge of frustration.
She did not turn around.
She would not turn.
As Kaiya placed the last pancake on the stack, his arm reached around and turned the stove off.
"Kaiya, look at me."
She sighed, leaning on her hands against the counter. Why couldn't he just leave it alone?
Finally, She turned to face him. There he stood, arms crossed with a brow raised.
Kaiya kept composed, matching his stance crossing her own arms.
"What?" Kaiya inquired, mimicking his brow.
Naruto chuckled, softening his posture and ruffling his blond locks.
"One hug and you avoid me?" He smirked, "Do I smell that bad?"
Kaiya scrunched her brows, "You don't smell bad at all."
"Oh? So I smell that good?" Naruto sniggered.
"That's not what I meant!" She spluttered as her cheeks heated.
"If my smell isn't the problem…" he mused, taking a step closer to enter her personal space.
In response, Kaiya stepped back, hitting the counter and pressing her hands against her sides in fists.
He was close, so close, and all this talk of smell made her way too focused on how intoxicating his scent was.
"… then what is, Hime-chan?" Naruto leered with almost a whisper, his chest nearly against hers, inches from her face.
"I… I really wish you didn't call me that." Kaiya managed to utter.
She had lost her breath, her heart was beating out of her ears, and she was frozen in place.
"Too bad, I'm sticking with it."
Naruto's nose touched the tip of hers, and she snapped back into reality, ducking around him and rushing out of the kitchen.
"Wait-"
Kaiya was out the door in a flash, speaking so quickly Naruto nearly missed what she said.
"Enjoy the pancakes."
Kaiya ran faster then she ever did in her life through the streets of Konoha. Villagers passing her were not bothered, shinobi hurrying through the village was a norm that was not disrupted by her presence.
What the fuck.
What the actual fuck.
She couldn't comprehend what had just happened between her and Naruto.
Kaiya mind was scattered, overanalysing every detail... was he messing with her?
Him teasing her like this was just cruel, although Kaiya assumed Naruto had no clue how he was really affecting her, he was known to be pretty dense in the anime/manga when it came to these things.
But if he did... no, Kaiya wouldn't let her mind go there.
It was pointless to ponder impossibilities.
Naruto had a destiny set in stone, one that did not include her.
Kaiya eventually stopped running, taking a moment to work out where she ended up. With everything on her mind, she lost sight of her surroundings.
Looking around, she realised she was at the memorial stone.
It was larger then she anticipated, and quashed any delusions of its grandeur. The blemished stone was filled with so many names... each representing a ninja losing there life serving Konoha. Loyalty in sacrifice.
Kaiya approached slowly, painfully aware of the knowledge of how many of them died. Being here, knowing their deaths weren't fiction, certainly hit differently.
She dropped to a kneel, and sat on her heels. The level of reverence and respect she felt was overwhelming.
Her hand grazed over the stone and stopped at the most recent name.
Neji Hyuga
Kaiya softly smiled.
"It would have been nice to meet you too," Kaiya pondered aloud sadly, "but I came here too late."
She rested her hands on her knees and sighed, closing her eyes and feeling the breeze.
Without knowing how long had passed, she got up and got up to leave, taking one last look at the cold stone before walking back towards the village.
And in the trees above, unknown to her, eyes followed her movements as she left.
