hello readers, just want to apologize for the confusion with the last upload of this chapter. this is not my first time with fanfiction but it is with this site, so I only ask for a little patience while I figure it out. anyway with that aside I hope you enjoy this next chapter and feel free to comment on any loops you want to see, I will credit you
songs playing rent-free as I wrote this chapter: somewhere only we know by Keane, harry potter in 99 seconds Jon Cozart, and Gimme Three Steps Song by Lynyrd Skynyrd... I have no explanation for that last one...
-29-
"No, no just hear me out okay if we put the hippogriff in Professor Umbridge's office-"
"C'mon harry be practical there is no way we could get it up the stairs without being caught."
"Well, there are silence charms we could try, I'm sure professor Flitwick would be willing to teach us some advanced ones-"
"Ron stop encouraging him, besides we are not taking into account the hippogriff. It probably has never seen something as horrific as Umbridge before! We don't know how that could impact its health!" Hermione reasoned.
"That's true we don't want PETA on us. Especially when we give them a legitimate reason to be upset."
"Very true."
"Guys, what is PETA?"
Professor Sprout, who had come into one of the storage rooms to get some more equipment for the day's classes, swiftly walked out. Whatever PETA was, it wasn't worth her brain cells. Besides, she didn't have any problem with the students bringing Dolores down a peg.
"I'm just saying if we hit filch's office-"
"Come on, we'd be better off with Mrs. Norris-"
"Guys please, I've already said this, we prank peeves! No one will see it coming!"
Fred and George, who had walked into the common room to get some homework done, immediately abandoned all such thoughts and rushed over to the trio.
"We don't know what you're talking about-"
"But we want to help." The twins chorused together. And the six of them all smiled evilly together.
"What do you think about turning the sorting hat bright green?"
Professor McGonagall had just walked into her office to find the trio, along with Ginny, Luna, and Neville all sitting around different parts of the room. Hermione and Ron were seated on the two chairs across from her desk. Neville and the other two girls were seated on different bean-bag chairs that she was beyond confident were not in her room prior. Potter was seated in a fancy leather armchair behind her desk. She had never seen anything like it before. It was plush and a solid cream color with red and gold accents. It looked incredibly comfortable and potter was definitely helping that assumption, with how he was slouched against it.
"Won't that make it seem like it's supporting Slytherin then?" Neville asked questioningly.
"Maybe, but it's a bit different in color." Hermione tried to reason with what Neville was saying.
"Plus if people make those assumptions we can blame it on Slytherin?" Potter suggested.
"Potter, Weasley, Longbottom, Granger, and Lovegood" she paused to make sure she had all of their attention. "-what are you doing in my office?" she questioned sternly. It did not produce the desired effect.
"Well professor, since the twins are currently using(see: planning a large prank) the common room, we didn't want to disturb them so we came here,'' Potter explained briefly before turning back to the others in the room.
"So yes or no on the green?"
"I mean I'm happy as long as we get to use the sparkles," Miss Lovegood answered as she fidgeted with some strange contraption in her hands.
"Of course, we would use sparkles, why wouldn't we?" Ginny responded.
"As much as I would love to continue hearing this conversation, I will have to ask you all to leave. I have papers to grade." McGonagall said, looking expectantly at the group. Neville looked shocked.
"You're not going to ask about the hat?"
"Mr. Longbottom, I have taught many years of students like yourselves. By now I have learned it's best to not ask questions and act surprised."
Neville nodded still looking a bit confused but decided better of asking any more questions. He turned back to his other friends seated on beanbags before nodding to them. Then the three of them got up and transfigured the bean bags into different colored pens. Picking them up the three walked out of the room followed by the other trio behind them. Mcgonagall looked back at her office seeing the chair potter was sitting on was still present. Just sighed and walked over and collapsed on it. It was times like these when she wished the ministry hadn't put down the 'no alcohol on campus' act.
-33- (inspired by incorrectmaraudersquotes)
"And that's what happened professor," Ron finished looking innocent, however Mcgonagall, who had been on the receiving end of such a look many times was not convinced.
"Mr. Weasley, are you lying to me?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Well, Professor I think that depends on how you define lying-" Harry started, however, Minerva cut him off.
"Mr. Potter I don't believe I was talking to you?" she said posing her words as a question though anyone in their right mind would know not to continue.
"Well, he has a point, professor. The way two different people define a word could contribute to miscommunication if the two have different definitions and neither finds out." Hermione stated and Minerva couldn't find any way to disagree with that so she relented.
"Fine, Mr. Weasley, how do you define lying?" she asked.
"Reclining your body in a horizontal position," Ron stated proudly, Minerva was not impressed in the slightest.
"Get out. All three of you. Now." she spoke slowly and dangerously.
"Of course, professor." the three said together, booking it out of the room.
Now alone in the office, Minerva introduced her hand to her face.
'James, why did you have to have a son?'
From the afterlife, a man with circular glasses and black hair cackled like a madman and a red-haired woman with bright green eyes just shook her head and said a silent prayer for Minerva Mcgonagall.
-56- TW* swearing
"HARRY POTTER" Dumbledore yelled to the great hall, everyone whispering in shock. Harry, on the other hand, looked at the goblet with hatred, and Ron and Hermione slowly started to duck under the table. long since known to slowly back away when that particular look graced their friend's face.
"Ignitum ultrie!" he shouted pointing his wand at the goblet and watching as it was engulfed in flames and melted instantly. Within seconds there was nothing remaining. Everyone stared in shock between the boy and the now molten remains of the ancient goblet. Ron and Hermione waited a moment before slowly easing back into their previous seats, keeping their eyes on harry. Said boy was just staring at the remains with a fascinated look in his eyes.
"Damn Harry, I was not expecting this loop to be the one that worked…" Ron mumbled quietly so that only people in the immediate vicinity would hear mainly himself, Hermione, and Harry.
"Yeah, I wasn't sure after the last one either but I did find this one in Rowena's secret library so I guess I should have expected this somewhat…" harry whispered back. "Well, I guess, I should take advantage of the confusion," he whispered again before deciding to address the rest of the hall.
"So, because the goblet is destroyed I understand there is no more magical contract that states I have to compete so I will not. Don't try to argue with me on that, I did my research. Instead, I suggest you make a new contract that is tangible and allow the people who do want the ability to compete and those like myself, to not." he stated looking at the ministry official who was standing gaping at the scene before them. Harry smiled.
"Now if you excuse me I'm going to have a calm, relaxing year where I don't have to worry about dying for once." he stood up and started walking out of the hall when a voice stolen by a certain disguised death eater caused him to stop.
"POTTER- Wait!"
"No Barty, I expected better from you. I thought we were finally going to get a good DADA teacher but you crush my dreams. So no I will not wait." He said dramatically, He then angrily walked out of the hall. A stunned silence followed where the hall was trying to process both what had happened and how they should feel about it. Then Hermione and Ron started laughing. Hermione turned to Ron.
"Well, I suppose he has a point?" before the two began laughing harder.
-69- the intervention
"Hermione, you know how much I and Ron care about you right?" Harry's voice cut in and ruined her focus on the passage she was trying to memorize, she hummed an affirmation trying to keep her attention focused on her book.
"You know I see you as a sister, and Ron… well, I don't know what weird sexual tension you guys have going on-"
"WHAT-?!"
"-but it's definitely present enough that anyone could tell you care about each other." harry stated ignoring Ron's interruption. Hermione would have found it more amusing if she was not struggling to keep her own blush under control.
"Where are you going with this harry?" she questioned now wanting this conversation to come to a close as quickly as possible.
"Well, it's just we want you to be healthy and well, and it's just we've recognized a behavior you've picked up that has the potential to be particularly destructive…" harry began sounding sheepish. Hermione raised a brow but did not look up from her book.
"Oh?"
"Yeah…"
"And what is this behavior?"
"Erm- I think you know…" Ron mumbled. Hermione looked up, an unimpressed look on her face.
"Humour me."
The redhead gulped looking uncomfortable but seemed to reassure himself enough to continue.
"It's… Hermione, it's the cats ." he stated with the slightest bit more confidence at the end. Hermione frowned.
"What about the cats?" she asked, it was Harry who spoke up this time.
"Hermione, it's nothing against you it's just… don't you think there might be too many?" he asked looking at her with an earnest look. She almost felt bad. Almost.
"I haven't an idea what you mean," she said with a glare.
"Hermione, you're only supposed to bring one familiar to Hogwarts… you have nine cats." harry said.
"And?" Hermione replied. "Professor mcgonagall says she doesn't have an issue with it." she reasoned or at least tried to.
"Well, she's a bit biased, isn't she? Besides quite a bit of people have come forward with complaints…" Ron said trailing off a bit at the end as he made eye contact with someone behind him. Confused, Hermione turned around trying to see what he was looking at only to see a small group of first-year students studying together quietly. She turned back to Ron staring at him with daggers.
"Whose making complaints?" she asked coldly. Both boys shrunk into themselves a bit but harry piped up.
"Some people who would like to remain anonymous." harry said.
"The point still stands. People aren't happy with their current living situation. People can't get cat hair off their robes! because of Salazar, nobody can get to their dorms without being attacked. And because of Ronald(I still don't know why you named it that), nobody can leave food out for more than a minute unless they want it stolen!" harry shouted. He then realized he was shouting and sent an apologetic look Hermione's way she however bristled, annoyed.
"And do you two feel this way?"
A nod from both boys.
"Well, then I suppose there is only one thing to be done if you both feel this way…"
(three hours later)
Neville and Dean Thomas walked into the common room after a long double potions period, when they spotted them. Harry and Ron lay face down on the ground, arms and legs tightly pressed to their bodies. Neville, who was experienced with the effects of the full body bind curse, grimaced in sympathy.
"Ooh, that's gotta suck…" he said before taking his wand out to reverse it, he spoke the countercurse, and immediately Ron and harry were granted free movement again. The two boys groaned as they slowly got up from the ground.
"Thanks, Neville." harry said sending a thankful nod in Neville's direction. Neville looked surprised for a second before immediately trying to stifle a laugh.
"N-no problem…" harry looked at him curiously but moved on when Ron started speaking again.
"Bloody hell, what's wrong with her? We have to have been here for at least two hours." Ron groaned turning to face the other two in the room and when Dean and Neville finally failed at their attempts to not laugh harry could understand why… standing across from him with a now bright pink nose and whiskers stood Ron, who was gawking at harry enough as well that harry felt it was good to assume he was in a similar situation.
"Bloody hell…"
Harry sighed, "I'm gonna guess that this was probably a new spell of hers…" he spoke quietly, Neville and Deam snapped out of their laughter enough to look shocked.
"Hermione made a spell?"
"Why?" the two asked.
"Because, it's harder to reverse." both Ron and Harry said at the same time, then making their way over to the portrait hole.
"We have to go see professor McGonagall to get this fixed, thanks again Neville." they then left leaving their two very amused and confused dorm mates to stare after them as they disappeared into the hall.
"Okay, what the hell-?"
END NOTES
29- they ended up putting a demon in Umbridge's office, using an undetectable charm they managed to trap it in there with salt. For the rest of the term, she had to work only in the class around children. No matter how many times she complained to the ministry nobody could do anything about it (they didn't care). Unfortunately, she didn't leave but they did cause her to lose some sleep. In the second one, they managed to prank all three plus all the teachers. I can't tell you what happened due to many NDAs but I can tell you it involved a fire extinguisher, multiple smoke bombs, and a boggart. Plus an ungodly amount of color bombs. Lastly, the group charmed the hat to cover any students who were placed in either Gryffindor or Slytherin in glitter. Although, if you got Slytherin you would also have a color bomb dropped on you. They left the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws alone, it made a good alibi. McGonagall denied all knowledge of the incident.
33- Ron, Hermione, and Harry all got detention later. Anytime someone asked what it was for they would say in a deadpan "Reclining our bodies in a horizontal position." Nobody asked any more questions. McGonagall just mentally wished they could have been anyone else's problem.
56- Harry was banned from Ravenclaw's Secret library for three loops after this incident. But at the same time, it became an inside joke between the three. The spell was also banned by the group all deeming it WAY too overpowered.
69- It took all the professors plus Dumbledore and the ministry a month to finally revert the curse. They had to go to classes and endure the laughs from fellow students. The only saving grace was when Hermione cursed Malfoy as well a week in. McGonagall also gave Hermione extra points for the spell after they reversed it, the only reason it had taken so long was that Hermione never made a counter curse. Once they did however it became a favorite punishment of McGonagall's. And they were still stuck with the cats. The two never staged an intervention ever again.
also again! if you have loop ideas you want to see feel free to comment them! I will always provide credit and they make me smile! thank you for reading have a good day/night
