Scars
Hey everyone! I'm finally back with a new chapter. Lots of setbacks making it difficult to write, but I finally was able to get another chapter done. Yayy! Please let me know if you would like to see more of these two characters develop.
Please review and tell me your thoughts.
Please note: This is a work of fiction and is not a lecture or guide on relationships and what they should look like. This is a spanking story (corporal punishment, domestic discipline, M elements) and is a specific interest. It is written for entertainment's sake, nothing more. I appreciate people's passion about the characters and getting into the story with such depths is flattering, but please understand if you don't like this sort of story, you will most likely find it unsatisfying and not to your liking.
WARNING: This chapter contain descriptions, suggestions and affects of past physical abuse. Also contains SPANKING of an adult female by an adult male (corporal punishment, domestic discipline), swearing and rough language. Don't like or feel you may be triggered by it, please don't read.
The hot humid air rushed under Addy's floral dress as she pinned the last pair of wet jeans on the makeshift clothes line. The young woman lifted her light pink ballcap to wipe the beaded sweat from her hairline with the back of her arm feeling the blistering hot Georgia sun beat down on her brutely. Addy was not use to the heat and humidity of the south and found herself wishing the damn trailer had air-conditioning. Her light skin was tanning to a golden brown remarkably quickly and the color in her cheeks were being brought out by the heat.
Addy sighed as she looked at the drooping clothesline. Although Merle had made a sturdy line between two of the mature trees in the back of the trailer, the heavy saturated fabric of the jeans and shirts were weighing down the line significantly making the clothes scrape the dirt below. Addy supposed she could have put less on the line, but the tired woman just wanted the laborious chore to be done. Her hands and arms ached from scrubbing the dirt and grime off the clothes and did not feeling like making the painstaking chore longer. She would just find a long branch to stick in the ground to hold up the line to prevent the clothes from getting dirty.
As Addy trudged into the woods to find a long stick that would do the job, should couldn't help, but grumble under her breath about how wonderful air-conditioning was and how washing machines, dish washers and dryers were such amazing inventions of the 20th century. Despite the heat twinging at her nerves, there was a large part of Addy that relished in the simplicity of living out so far into the woods. It was quiet and beautiful up in the wooded hills of Georgia's back country. It sparked the independent spirt within her and although scrubbing clothes in a bathtub was not her favorite chore, the serenity and ability to be away from the confines of society was refreshing and pleasant to the young woman.
Addy was no stranger to hard work and found accomplishment and pride in making meals, working with her hands and making the most out of what was available; it was challenging and fed her inner spirt with fulfillment. Addy was, in all honesty, shocked with the freeing contentment she got out of this simple living as she never thought something so trivial would bring her joy. When she was on her own and, honestly with Eric, she always had this impending anxiety in the back of her mind of uncertainty and insecurity. Always having her guard up because there was no one going to watch her back, but herself. It was exhausting, confining and downright unpleasant.
However, now, it seemed that worry had, oddly, melted away significantly and Addy did not realize the weight of it all until it had been lifted. Ever since she started living with Merle and Daryl, Addy found that they gave her a sense of security that she had never had the pleasure of receiving. If something goes wrong, there was this supportive feeling that she did not have to rely on herself and herself alone to conquer it. It was a blessed feeling as she had never really had that support, assurance, and protection, of feeling truly safe. Although there was this learned fear still linger in the back of her mind, it felt like a significant weight had been lifted off her shoulders allowing her to breathe a bit and enjoy life rather than worrying about the fearful question – 'am I going to be okay?' Addy was beginning to believe by every passing day that she was, in fact, going to be okay. Although, Merle and Daryl were not the most sophisticated men on the planet and their decorum, rough manner and traditional ideas left much to be desired, the men were, in Addy's mind, good. Even though Addy was certain Merle and Daryl would deny they were in any way 'good'. Behind their gruff exteriors, dirty clothes, and foul language they were good men and Addy held onto that with hope and secure contentment.
Addy felt the heat of the hot sun dissipate as she walked under the shaded mature trees, enjoying the reprieve from the scorching temperature in the open clearing. The young woman wondered around scanning the ground for possible clothesline holders. It did not take long until she found a long straight branch that appeared to be the perfect height for holding up the heavy line. It even appeared to have a notch on the top where the line could easily set into. However, the perfect branch sat wedged in between an old rotted stump and a tall oak that sat atop a small dirt mound that happened to be on a significant incline. Addy groaned and grimaced at her shitty luck. Of course, it had to be there. It couldn't have been sitting conveniently on the forest floor.
With her tired reluctant limbs, Addy trudged up the incline, and snatched a hold of the jagged rotted wood of the stump feeling it give slightly against her weight, but luckily it held just enough for her to hoist herself up and around giving her confidence that the wood was not too rotted. Addy maneuvered herself carefully around the stump planting her foot on the incline and the other onto of the stump where there was just enough space for her boot to sit on the side. Once Addy felt she was sturdy enough, she reached down and attempted to pry the branch from between the tree and the stump. Addy felt her arms and hands ache from the strain of scrubbing she had done, making her snarl in frustration believing she could've gotten the branch loose if she wasn't so spent. The branch wiggled, giving way slightly making Addy leaned back a bit and tug harder, but as she did, she adjusted her foot on the stump and that's when the rotted wood crumbled underneath her boot, the hem of her dress snagging on one of the scraggy tooths of the rotted wood preventing her from regaining her balance.
Addy heard the fabric of her dress rip sharply in her ears as she fell hard, instinctually throwing her arms out in front of her to try to catch herself, but as she did, she felt the jagged edge of the branch slice crisply down her forearm. A sharp pain emanated against her arm as her body thudded against the hard uneven ground. The young woman squealed and squeezed her eyes shut at the intense sting. Addy moaned and whimpered as she shakily twisted her body and sat up immediately grabbing onto her forearm feeling wet blood seep from the long gash. Addy gasped feeling her heart race with alarm as she studied the cut that ran down almost the full length of her inner forearm, a significant amount of blood pouring from the fresh wound. Addy licked her trembling lips as she held onto her wrist feeling her body shake with adrenaline. Addy attempted to stand, but found her body weak and heavy feeling the wound twinge painfully at her movements. Unsure what to do, and fear being her driving factor, Addy opened her mouth to cry out for help, but hesitated for a long moment as she looked down at her torn dirty dress feeling a wave of anxiety swarm in her gut knowing Merle would surely condemn her for getting needlessly and stupidly hurt. Would he be mad? Would he punish her? Addy grimaced with reluctance feeling a whine escape her lips before swallowing hard.
"Merle!" Addy called, her voice quivering and breaking with distress that she knew wasn't nearly loud enough to be heard over a distance.
"Merle!" Addy tired louder her vocals panicked. What if they can't hear me? Addy started to worry that she might have ventured too far into the woods.
Addy knew Merle had to be in the garage or around somewhere close. Addy didn't know where the hell Daryl was, but she guessed he was probably hunting or setting up traps or just somewhere in the woods.
"Please help! Daryl! M-Merle! Help me, please!" Addy shouted feeling her voice crack as her throat became raw.
However, the distress woman did not have to long to wait.
"ADDY!" Merle's deep raspy voice boomed against the trees starling Addy making her gasp and turned toward his voice.
"Where ya at, girl?!" Merle barked with urgency as he trudged through the woods, his strides brisk and determined.
"Merle! I'm here!" Addy shouted feeling a rush of relief and her panic die down.
Merle's blue eyes narrowed slightly honing in on the little woman who sat at the bottom of the incline cradling her arm out in front of her. Merle felt himself inhale a sharp breath at the sight before dipping his head down. His face muscles twitched as his features harden into a stoic frown before striding toward the young woman briskly.
As Merle approached her, it wasn't hard for the observant man to discern what happened, taking note of her positioning, the large tear in her dress and the gash across her forearm. Merle settled his boots directly in front of her towering over her like a giant making Addy crane her neck upwards to look at him. Merle immediately crouched down on his heels till he was eye level with her. He gave her a very serious scowl that was very telling to Addy who looked away a bit ashamed. He was clearly not amused at the situation she got herself in andHis the very fact that the verbose man did not crack a witty or sarcastic comment left the young woman severely unsettled.
Merle snatched her wrist pulling her arm towards him so he could get a better looked at the damage done to her arm feeling a slight twinge in his chest of both frustration and concern. Addy gasped slightly as her arm pinched at the brisk movement.
"Hush." He commanded automatically, but eased his grip regardless.
Blood was seeping from her wound covering most of her arm that was smeared with the dirt and debris making it hard to perceive how deep a cut it was. However, the amount of blood was enough to cause a rising alarm within him. Merle snarled baring his teeth feeling his frustration build up heavily against his chest.
"Shit." Merle hissed as he stood up and pulled his faded blue plaid cut off shirt over his head revealing the sharp defining muscles of his bare chest and abdomen that was significantly paler than his tanned arms and face. However, that did not take away from the pleasing masculine physique of the man's strong body. Addy immediately felt heat rush to her cheeks as she snapped her attention to a patch of moss next to her feeling an odd shyness come over her as she was not expecting Merle to strip off his shirt. The man never took off his shirt and this was the first time Addy had laid eyes on his bare chest which was undoubtably pleasing and attractive to the young woman eyes. Merle squatted back down and grabbed Addy's wrist again using his knee to rest her arm on while he wrapped his plaid shirt around her forearm. Merle tied the fabric pulling it tightly against her arm ensuring that it was secure enough to stop the bleeding which was his first priority.
"Ow." Addy complained as the pressure pinched at her searing nerves. Merle snapped his head up to look at her with hard unreadable features his eyes locking onto her like a hawk. Addy blinked her round green eyes and swallowed as she studied his firm face. His hard features were stiff and lined with an intense serious expression which both frightened and surprised the young woman.
Without taking his hard blue eyes off her for a second, Merle blindly wrapped the last bit of fabric around pulling it just as tightly and firmly as the last time, almost like he was daring her to complain expressing his displeasure through his fierce expression and sharp eyes. It was clear that he was not hiding his annoyance at her in the slightest which filled Addy's gut with guilt and embarrassment.
Addy just simply grimaced and squeezed her eyes shut forcing herself to remain silent as the fabric squeezed tautly against her torn flesh. Once he was finished, he let go of her wrist and held her gaze for a bit longer before breaking it suddenly grabbing a hold of her other bicep pulling her to her feet quickly.
Addy's legs felt weak and wobbled unsteadily as the adrenaline was beginning to subside. Merle simply bent down and lifted her off her feet into his strong arms pressing her securely against his warm bare chest being mindful of her wounded arm. Addy stiffened awkwardly feeling her torn dress slide down almost to her hips. The dressed had ripped almost perfectly along the side seam allowing it to gape widely underneath her, revealing far too much then she desired. Feeling severely uncomfortable Addy reached around to grab a hold of the torn fabric to cover her, ignoring the biting pain in her arm. Merle simply tightened his hold and pulled her into him forcing her to stop moving.
"Quit yer squirmin'." Merle ordered firmly as he marched briskly and determinedly out of the woods towards the trailer.
Once they made it down it to the clearing Merle took Addy inside the trailer and plopped the young woman in his recliner. Just as he did, Daryl came busting through the door with his .22 rile in his hand looking at Merle with urgency.
"What happened?" Daryl asked keeping his voice calm, but it was clear there was masked worry behind his tone. The teenager looked at Addy then to Merle clearly wanting answers.
"Go git the whiskey." Merle ordered briskly without sparing his brother a glance.
Whiskey? Addy's brows frowned in confusion.
Daryl nodded once and left to go to the garage to do as he was told.
Addy put her head down as Merle turned hastily towards the sink readying a bar of soap and a clean dish cloth. Addy cheeks blushed as she studied the dirty carpet below her feet feeling ashamed and foolish for getting hurt and bothering Daryl and Merle with something so stupid and avoidable. Why did she have to get that damn stick? She could have just kept looking and avoided getting hurt sparing herself from Merle's critical glare which was almost as bad as the pain in her arm.
As Addy cradled her arm out in front of her, she noticed tiny droplets of blood seeping through the shirt that began to dripped down her elbow and onto the floor.
"Oh my God, I'm getting it all over the floor." Addy complained and started to shimmy her bottom to the edge of the seat readying herself to stand up with the full intention of running to the bathroom.
Sensing her movements, Merle immediately turned around and pointed a firm stiff finger in her direction.
"You even think of movin' an inch off that recliner, girl, I'll tan yer little hide six ways till Sunday. If you don't want that, then you keep them little Georgia peaches of yers glued to that chair. Ya understand me, girl?" Merle's words were harsh and deeply stern his face lined with an intense seriousness that left no doubt in Addy's mind he meant every word. Addy's muscles were frozen in place at his threat as she stared up at him wide eyed with a worried and dumbfounded look on her face. The young woman swallowed before dipping her head down to look at the floor once again. Merle was clearly angered about the situation and it would be in her best interest at this time to simply to what he asked and not piss him off anymore then he already was. It appeared Merle took her accident seriously and it was not the time to make light of the situation. Part of Addy wished Merle would joke about her tripping and falling on her ass or at least tease or mock her about it. Although Addy didn't really appreciate Merle's mocking, it was a hell of a lot better than this severe sternness that was frighteningly unsettling making Addy feel guilty, embarrassed and foolish.
Once Addy had stilled her body and broke his eye contact ensuring that she was going to stay where he had put her, he turned around to continue to build up suds on the dish cloth with warm water.
"Merle, I'm-I'm sorry." Addy found herself saying to the floor.
"I-I was just trying…to…get…" As Addy tilted her head up to look at Merle, the sight before her made her throat constrict and lose her words completely. Addy's green eyes widened as she gawked at Merle's strong bare back finding out just why Merle never took off his shirt.
His naked flesh was riddled with long dark stripes that crisscrossed from the top of his shoulders to his lower of his back. They were sharp angry lacerations that had been scarred and branded into his flesh like permanent tattoos. Although it was clear the scars were old, the pain, undoubtably, of wearing them was burdening and unyielding. Addy's stomach dropped and she began to feel sick as it was evident Merle had endured some terrible torture in his life. Was he attacked by a wild animal? The young woman naïvely wanted to believe that, but there was something within Addy's gut that told her, the marks were clearly manmade and the animal that inflicted them was no 'animal'.
As Addy fell silent, Merle's back stiffed feeling all his muscles tense and constrict uncontrollably at the realization as to why the chatty woman stopped talking. In all his haste and concern for the young woman, he had forgotten he had taken off his damn shirt to bind her wound and now the little woman was getting a nice view of his Daddy's handiwork. Merle felt his walls shield up as his entire body stiffed rigidly feeling his chest blossomed with aggravating irrepressible anxiety, his embarrassment and pain masked by a sharp bitter annoyance at the woman for foolishly getting hurt. Knowing he wouldn't have taken his damn shirt off if it wasn't for her inexperienced ass doing something stupid which sent his already irked nerves searing. Merle gritted his teeth feeling his lip curl up into a snarl angered by the fact that there wasn't a goddamn thing he could do about it. He could not make the young woman unsee what she had observed nor was he ignorant to think the woman stupid enough to presume the marks were from anything other what they were. All he could do was hope the tenderhearted woman had enough sense to mind her damn business and keep her eager opinions, questions and cometary to herself as he had no desire to hear them. In his mind, she knew nothing about it and her privileged little ass wouldn't understand a shed of it. And damn if she would pity him for it. That was about the worst thing Merle could think of at the moment and it sent a resounding fear through his body that she would picture him as weak or unfit in some way due to the unmistakable evidence of his hidden pain.
Merle forced himself to release a slow even breath he was holding through his nose compelling his tense muscles to ease up, pushing the fear, pain and embarrassment he felt deep down into his chest while simultaneously building up his strong walls around his troubled past and hard heart. He grabbed the soapy cloth and boldly turned around keeping his eyes honed in on her wounded arm revealing nothing on his stoically masked face that he was bothered in any way about Addy's observation. He kept his eyes fixed on his task allowing him to focus on Addy and push down any unwanted feelings, a learned skill he obtained at a very young age. He had a job to and a woman to take care of and he be damned if he was going to stand there and worry about his scars like some pansy ass bitch.
The young woman, unable to hide her stock and distress, watched Merle with wide concerned eyes as he worked to untied the shirt around her cut arm. A dumbfounded worried expression was plastered over her delicate face as her lips parted and her jaw dropped unknowingly. Feeling Addy's eyes ogling at him, Merle snapped his sharp blue eyes down to her's making Addy blink innocently at him. Merle had to stifle an irked eye roll at the woman's inability to mask her emotions.
With a growl sitting in the back of his throat, Merle reached down and curtly tapped up against her chin with the side of his calloused finger effectively snapping her gaping jaw shut. That successfully snapped Addy out of her state of shock and she immediately turned her gaze away from him dipping her head down in embarrassment as she licked her lips feeling extremely awkward. An uncomfortable feeling began to fester in her gut as she began to feel disheartened which was not unaccompanied by strong resounding anger. How could someone be so cruel? Addy doubted very much that Merle would allow anyone to do this to him when he was more than capable of defending himself. Thus, Addy concluded that this had to be done when he was young which sent a burning sensation at her nerves while simultaneously stinging her eyes.
Although her gaze was not on the scars anymore, but at the dingy brown carpet, she could still picture every disturbing mark on the man's abused back. Part of her had a mind to express her sympathy and outrage, but Addy knew those marks were private and he did not display them freely nor did he show any desire to share his troubling experience. Addy was well aware of Merle's intense, and somewhat infuriating, personality to know this was not something she should speak openly about. It was not her place to talk about the sore subject nor express herself on it, no matter how much the soft-hearted woman wanted to comfort and reassure him. Addy knew it would backlash and would not do her or Merle any good. If the man wanted to open up to her and discuss it then, he would do so on his own accord. Therefore, the woman kept her lips pressed together in burdensome silence, almost shocked at how much pain at seeing his scars burdened her own heart. Merle was not exactly the nicest man on the planet and his gruff manner was sorely lacking, but that did not take away the woman's pain at seeing his pain. In fact, it hurt her deeply sinking into her core torturing her heart.
Addy pondered if those awful scars shaped him into the gruff hard-hearted man he was today. It undoubtably must have had a troubling effect on him? Addy was certain it would to anyone, even to a tough man like Merle.
There was an odd part of Addy that almost relished in the fact that although Merle was a rough man, he was not bad, at least not in her mind. He took care of her, made her feel a freeing security that she never had and although he spanks her, Addy couldn't help, but feel it was all for one underlining reason – he cared. A wrong rather twisted way of expressing his care, but it was there none the less and Addy saw that. There was also a small element of pride that sparked in her chest as Merle did not let his troubled past completely conquer him into the evil bastard that gave him those marks. Yes, his spankings hurt like a bitch, but they were just what they were, spankings.
The man was far from perfect, in fact he was downright coarse and Addy knew that Merle, himself, would argue against the fact that he wasn't an 'evil bastard'. He was not nice or gentle and the gruff man was, no doubt, difficult to live with at times and his form of discipline was harsh to say the least, but, yet, he had not given up on her, throwing her away as insignificant or too troublesome no matter what she did or said. Addy did not quite realize just how much the man had given her with not only food and shelter, but a sense of being valued, needed, and wanted. Something that was sadly foreign to the young woman's neglected heart. He did not give up on her and Addy, although she did not quite know or understand it yet, would not give up on him either.
In a way, seeing the scars made her understand him more, giving him more grace allowing her shielded heart to give slightly against his gruff temperament. It showed a vulnerability from the stone-cold man that Addy was unaware of. There was more to Merle then his bombastic personality and foul language. There was more to him then his gruff temper and dirty clothes and Addy found an odd pride in that fact. He was a complex man with a trouble past.
Once Merle removed the blood-soaked shirt from her arm, tossing it onto the dinette table, Merle rubbed the soapy dish cloth over and around the wound, removing the excess blood and dirt allowing him to see the damage more clearly. Addy squeezed her eyes shut and stiffened her body feeling the pain increase at the friction. A whine escaped the woman's mouth as she pressed her lips together desperately trying to keep silent as Merle continued to clean her cut. At hearing the woman's discomfort Merle tipped up his head to look at her scrunched up face lined in pain. His hard features softened a touch, a plume of air escaping his nostrils as he eased up on the pressure. A pinch of guilt entered his heart as it was clear she was undoubtably trying to keep silent on account of him, but he pushed the feeling aside as he studied her wound which was not nearly as bad as he initially thought. Feeling a bit of relief wash over him, the man's tight muscles relaxed slightly before tossing the soapy rag to onto the dinette table next to his shirt. Without a word Merle tugged her on to her feet guiding her to the sink before sticking her arm under the cold running water ridding her of any soapy residue. Merle ran his calloused palm down her arm, careful this time not to put too much pressure on her wound sparing her of any unnecessary discomfort.
Just then Daryl came through door with a half-drunk bottle of whiskey in hand, immediately walking up to Merle handing him the bottle.
"Keep that arm in the sink." Merle ordered as he unscrewed the top of the strong whiskey.
Addy a bit flabbergasted suddenly realized Merle's intention with the whiskey and began to feel a panic build up in her chest.
"W-Wait, don't." Addy expressed in a panic, but it was too late Merle briskly pour the alcohol over her fresh wound to disinfect it knowing not to prolong the inevitable or give Addy a chance to protest and jerk away from him. An intense burning sting spread over her arm emanating a loud cry from the young woman. Addy cradled her arm over the sink hissing and humming through the pain blowing out plumes of air through her mouth as she hunched her body over.
Watching Addy's distress ate away at Merle's heart affecting a lot him more than he thought it would. He knew he was only doing what had to be done and, after all, the little woman brought this on herself. However, it didn't make it any less difficult to hear the woman's cries of pain. Even though it made him feel frustratingly weak, he didn't fight against the feeling as hard this time as it was true, he did care for the little woman and he was just too damn mentally tried to care whether it was wrong, right, weak or stupid.
Merle immediately grabbed another dish cloth that was hanging on the stove handle.
"Wait, no. That's my good towel." Addy complained with a whine. She did not want to get blood on her dish drying towel.
However, Merle completely ignored her stifling an eyeroll as his priority was not on preserving the shitty dish cloths that were essentially rags, he had cut up from an old towel. The shit they had was not nice shit and he found her connection to something so minor inconsequential. He would cut up another shitty towel for her.
Merle patted her arm dry trying to be mindful of the pressure he was applying. He sat Addy back onto the recliner and dressed her wound carefully and rather skillfully with gaze and carefully cut duct tape Daryl had brought him. Addy sat there patiently and attempted to hold as still as possible while Merle dressed her wound.
After he was finished Merle straightened his back, standing at his full height, as he glared down at the young woman with a very displeased look on his face which made Addy's breath cease in her throat. The look on Merle's face indicated strongly that Addy was about to get an ear full. Merle, being the predictable man he was, did not disappoint.
"Didn't I tell ya this fuckin' little dress of yers was gonna git caught on somethin'? Did ya think I?!" Merle demanded angrily as he pointed down at the torn dress. His voice loud and laced with frustration as he gestured towards her heatedly.
"But I…it…it wasn't the dress!" Addy sputtered out desperately feeling a newfound panic rise within her.
Merle briskly bent down and grabbed a hold of the torn fabric that lay at the side of her upper bare thigh making Addy's muscles stiffen. "Ya think I'm blind or just plain stupid?" Merle growled shaking a fist full of the dress before tossing it back angrily towards her.
Addy wasn't about to answer on his intelligence.
"No! I mean, I did rip it, but it didn't make me fall. I was just trying to get a stick to hold up the clothesline. It was stuck. The stump was a little rotted, I lost my footing and slipped. That's all. It wasn't my dress." Addy sputtered out quickly trying to reason him into calming down and thinking it was her dress that was the cause of her injury. However, it, unfortunately, didn't work.
"Ya climbed onto a rotted stump ta git a damn stick?" Merle growled lowly in frustration his brows frowning deep giving her a harsh condemning scowl. If he didn't know any better, he would assume she was trying to fall on her ass purposefully.
Well, when you put it like that.
Addy pressed her lips together and darted her eyes away from him as she squirmed a bit in the recliner. It did sound pretty stupid in hindsight.
"It didn't look that rotted." Addy mumbled now regretting mentioning the rotted stump being the cause of her fall. It seemed no matter how she explained herself Merle was destined to stay pissed.
Merle ran his fingers across his palms itching to smack her stupid ass into next week for being so careless. That cut could have been a hell of a lot worse and if he wasn't walking towards the trailer at the time she called out to him, he might have never heard her. That thought sent him into a fury of frustration as she would be sitting there bleeding out helplessly.
"Is that right, little girl?" Merle mocked in an eerily calm voice. "And yer tellin' me that big ass rip in yer dress had nothin' ta do with fallin' on yer ass?" Merle's voice was even, but there was a tightness to it that was unnerving.
"I well..." Addy knew she probably could have regained her balance if it wasn't for her dress getting caught.
This is where Addy learned Merle was no fool and was quite an observant man despite his lack of formal and society education. "…no." It wasn't a very convincing 'no', it sounded almost like a question.
Merle's jaw visibly tightened and his fist clenched at his side before he turned his neck to glance behind him at his brother, who was leaning his back against the wall by the door listening intently to every word that was said.
"Ya hear that, Daryl? Little miss Addy May here thinks she can lie ta me." Merle turned his attention back to Addy and clicked his tongue at her in a condescending manner as he shaking his head which was never a good sign in the young woman's experience.
Addy flustered and worried about her backside began to sputter her defense quickly.
"I'm not lying! I mean, I guess it didn't help, but it wasn't the only reason I fell." Addy nearly cringed at her explanation. It didn't sound great, even to her own ears. It sounded a lot better in her head.
Merle squinted his eyes feeling his mouth part slightly giving her a look that was both dumbfounded and frustrated. Abruptly, and without another word, Merle yanked the young woman to her feet by her good arm turned her to the side and cracked him palm over her bottom. Addy yelped feeling her pelvic jerk forward at the strong impact of his spank. The young woman automatically reached back palm up to cover her stinging bottom from any further smacks.
"This ain't no concrete playground out her, missy. The terrain ain't flat and walkin' 'round like ya ain't got a sense in yer head could be just enough ta get yer soft ass killed. The next time ya got the urge ta be a dumbass, come ta me, I'll spank the stupid right outta ya." Merle casually and haughtily recommended, but there was bite to his tone that was unsettling suggesting he was far from relaxed. And to remove all doubt, Merle immediately lifted his arm high and popped the woman's backside sharply once again missing her defensive palm completely. Addy yelped and jumped slightly feeling the sting blossom over her thinly covered bottom.
"Now, git yer little ass in that bedroom and put on jeans." Merle ordered his deep raspy vocals rumbling in his chest as he let go of her arm giving the woman one last hard spank to her backside propelling the her in the direction of the hallway.
"Ow!" Addy complained reaching back cupping her right cheek as she stumbled over her feet scrambling quickly down the hallway to as she was told trying to get way from Merle's calloused palm.
"And I catch ya wearing a dress out in them woods again yer gettin' yer ass tanned with a damn switch…and I ain't gonna be gentle about it neither." Merle added hollering after her.
Addy knew that if her arm wasn't injured Merle would have probably turned her over his knee and spanked the shit out of her for being so careless and stupid. Because that's just the kind of man he was much to Addy's misfortune and chagrine. However, Addy was counting her blessing that she avoided being turned ass up over his knee as those three swats alone had her bottom stinging and aching fiercely. The man never gave her a swat on the ass that wasn't light enough to hurt. Asshole.
Addy carefully pulled out a pair of jeans from the closet with her good arm and attempted to slide the jeans on one handed which proved difficult, but she managed. Once Addy was finished putting her jeans on and a black spaghetti strap tang top, she sat on the bed squirming slightly at the mild ache in her behind. Addy sighed deeply as she stared at the small front window of the bedroom, her mind wondering deep in thought as she pictured Merle's marked back once again. The throbbing pain in her arm and the ache in her backside was sent to the back of her mind as Merle's scars dominated her attention. Unexpected tears started to form in her eyes as the hurt that sat festering in her gut began to twist painfully. If any man could endure that and come out on top it would be Merle, but the fact that he had to was horrifying in itself. Addy wondered what other traumas the man went through and was there anyone by his side help him through it all or did he have to endure it all alone? That was a despairing thought made her throat constrict painfully. Did Daryl face the same? The more Addy thought about it the more her mind whirled in pain and confusion.
Addy sniffled and ran her fingers under eyes ridding herself of any noticeable tears. Addy felt this peculiar need to be around Merle, just to be in his presence for a bit. It was a strange feeling as Addy often needed to get away from the man, especially after being smacked on the butt and threatened with that damn switch which she hoped she never would experience. It scared her more than she wanted to admit. However, it seemed despite all that, it appeared to take a backburner to her wishes to be with the man. Addy didn't know rightly why she was feeling this way, all she knew was that her feelings were strong and she just needed to be near the man.
Addy slowly got up and walked out of the bedroom and down the hall. The young woman paused for a brief moment lingering in the shadow of the small hallway as she saw Merle at the sink with his leather cut off biker vest on. Addy breathed a small sigh of relief, somewhat glad that he covered himself sparing her both the awkwardness of trying not to look at them the rest of the evening and pain of seeing his abused markings. Not that he has to worry about her prying, but all the same the vest was a comforting band aid for now.
Merle was rising out the blood from his paid shirt and the dish towels making Addy feel a pinch of guilt for being the cause the mess. She should be cleaning them, not Merle. Addy's eyes drifted to Daryl who was sitting quietly at the dinette table his bare arms hanging between his thighs, and as always, a cigarette between his dirty fingers. Addy wondered just how many cigarettes the teenager went through in a day. Whatever, the number, it was way too many in her opinion.
Addy bit her bottom lip mustering up her bravery as she gradually walked into the room. Hearing her light footstep creak against the floor, Merle turned his head to the side to glance at the young woman. Giving her a sharp stern look, Merle narrowed his eyes at her slightly before turning his attention back to his task of ringing out the saturated fabric.
"Comin' out here fer a spankin' did ya?" Merle asked scoffingly with an edge to his tone that was bordering way too close on intent. Merle didn't have a clue why the woman was willingly coming out of her sanctuary to his peeved ass.
"Cause I'm have a mind ta." Merle warned grimly letting her know that he was in no way pleased with her and she was undoubtedly on his shit list.
Addy's breath caught in her throat for a brief moment, suddenly wondering if coming out of the bedroom so soon was such a good idea as it was clear Merle was not over the incident. It was obvious he had a desire to punish her still, but, yet, he there was a reluctance, a window of reprieve, which Addy assumed was because of her injured arm. Did that mean it was an empty threat? Yeah, right, Addy get your head out of your ass. This is Merle Dixon you're talking about, not some 'pansy ass choir boy', (as he would call it). Addy was sure, if she stepped out of line, her ass was not safe by any stretch of the imagination – injured or not.
"No, I…" Addy stammered out, but found her words getting stuck in her throat.
Merle ceased his task before turning his head to side to look at her once again, his stern blue eyes cutting into her intensely and purposefully, his defining arm muscles bulging and twisting as he gripped and pressed his palms on the edge of the sink. Merle raised a critical eye brow at her waiting impatiently for her continue.
Addy swallowed and looked down at her feet feeling an awkwardness come over her as this was the second time, she was threatened with a spanking today. Merle was, if nothing else, forthcoming about his intentions. Addy lifted her head slightly daring to catch Daryl's critical blue eyes baring into clearly showing his dissatisfaction with her stupidity as well. Addy immediately darted her eyes away feeling her cheeks blush with embarrassment as she fidgeted with her hands and squirmed on her feet. Addy felt herself lose ten years of life as she felt like a timid child who was naughty and careless, but having two sets of Dixon eyes glaring at you just made one feel intimidated to say the least.
"I'm just…sorry. About gettin' stupidly hurt and the-the dress." Addy found herself apologizing to the floor unable to look up at Merle or Daryl. In hindsight, it was a stupid decision to stand on that rotted stump and try to get that stick. And as much as she did not want to admit it, the dress was not the best attire for trudging through the woods either. Addy began to feel more guilt build up within her as she realized she wasn't alone anymore and she wasn't with Eric anymore. She was with Merle and Daryl who were a different breed of men who clearly cared about her safety and anger over her carelessness was to be expected.
As the seconds of awkward silence ticked on, Addy couldn't stand it and decided she needed to do something other than just stand there like a nervous child.
"I uh, I gotta start dinner." Addy expressed suddenly as moved toward the fridge. Anything to get out of their stern critical glares she was willing to do. However, before Addy could even take two steps, Merle grabbed a hold of her good arm.
"Ah, ah, ah. What the hell ya think yer doin', little girl? You ain't cookin' dinner tonight. In fact, you ain't doin' shit. Sit yer ass down 'fore ya bleed through yer bandage." Merle ordered jerking her towards his empty recliner.
Addy did as she was told reluctantly sitting her bottom down into Merle's recliner grateful that he did not feel the need to swat her bottom again. Daryl gave her a side smirk seeming somewhat pleased by the fact that she was told to sit. Addy gave Daryl a mild grimace wrinkling her nose in displeasure. She may be injured, but she wasn't useless. She could cook one handed.
After a long while of just sitting there watching Merle scamper about the kitchen getting dinner prepared, something Addy desperately wanted to do, the young woman became bored and fidgety as neither Daryl nor Merle took the initiative to strike up a conversation.
"What are you making, Merle?" Addy asked curiously unable to see around his broad shoulders and physic to guess what he was preparing.
"Shit on a shingle." Merle replied his voice elevating like it was a good meal. "Now, ain't that sound good."
Addy's face morphed immediately into a grimace of disgust. To Addy, the name of the dish was unquestionably accurate as it did taste every bit like it suggested. Merle had made it once before and Addy did not care for it one bit, as the man used squirrel meat for the 'beef' and the white cream sauce he made was way too salty last time. Not to mention the toast was burnt underneath. There was a reason Addy did most of the cooking, not just because she rather enjoyed it or it was seen by the Dixon's as 'woman's work', but because Merle sucked at cooking and Daryl wasn't any better. Not to say they were horrible and the things they whipped up were inedible, but to Addy's standards, the food they made was bland or overly salty.
Once super was ready, Merle made Addy's plate like he always did expressing that her skinny ass needed to eat more. And with all the laborious chores around the Dixon home, Addy had been eating a bit more, but not nearly enough for Merle's standards. He said she needed more meat on her bone and that she wasn't going to starve around here. Addy sighed and began to eat slowly and surprisingly the dish was not too bad this time. However, it was the dish itself that Addy disliked, not just the way Merle prepared it. For some reason, Merle's 'shit on a shingle' was not her cup of tea.
After choking down half of what was on her plate, Addy could not stand it anymore and began to get off the recliner to return her plate to the sink. However, about half way to her goal, she was halted in her tracks.
"Hey!" Merle's booming voice snapped making had jump slightly. "Where ya think yer goin', girl? Ya better sit yer ass back down and finish yer super." Merle expressed loudly pointing a sharp demanding finger at the recliner.
Addy sighed looking down at her plate then back up at Merle, hesitating to tell him the truth, but she gathered that it was better than eating the salty cream concoction.
"I don't…I don't really like it, Merle…" Addy expressed honestly and a bit more timidly than she desired.
Merle snorted loudly looking down at his plate as he pressed the side of his fork into the sauce soak bread like what she said was both humorous and trivial. Merle shook his head and looked across the small dinette table at his younger brother. "Ya hear that, Daryl? She don't like it. We better roll out the red carpet, we got ourselves genuine princess right 'ere." Merle mocked before turning his head up to look at Addy, irritation shining through his masked humorous expression as he plastered on a tight smirk.
"I don't give a rat's ass if ya don't like it." Merle declared his voice edging on serious and his tone dropping low in his chest. "Yer gonna eat it and be glad ta be doin' it. We don't waste food 'round 'ere. Now sit yer little skinny ass down and eat every bit of what's on yer plate, missy." Merle ordered not bothering to keep his rising irritation out of his voice anymore. Merle knew what it was like to go hungry and it amazed him how the little woman could refuse to eat what was placed in front of her. As far as Merle was concerned, she should be grateful to be getting anything at all. He was well aware she did not care for the dish, but that was inconsequential. It was what he had to feed her and she damn well was going to eat it.
In Addy's life, if she did not like a certain food, she would just simply not eat it. She had never been told to finish everything on her plate nor was she ever forced to eat anything she did not like. Merle was the first to force her to eat anything. It wasn't that Addy was ungrateful for the food, she most certainly was. However, that did not mean she found it justified to force her to eat something she disliked. It was not like she was going to make something different. She would just go without which was her choice. However, Addy understood that she had already pushed the boundaries with Merle's temper today by getting carelessly hurt and being the smart woman that she was did want to poke at his irked nerves and risk her backside hurting along with her arm.
Addy gave a huff as she sat back down in the recliner next to the dinette table. Addy looked down at her plate feeling a lump of reluctance fill her throat as she studied the thick goopy sauce that drenched her half-eaten toast. Despite the annoyance she felt about being forced to eat all of the unpalatable meal, there was a small bite of guilt for complaining about the food. What was she? Ten? However, she couldn't stop herself from expressing her displeasure.
"You gave me a lot." Addy grumbled under breath accusingly fairly certain Merle did that on purpose knowing this was not her favorite food.
Merle paused his fork half way to his mouth before letting it drop and loudly clank onto his almost empty plate.
Oops.
Merle turned towards her pointing a strong finger at her, his face lined in a frustrated rather scary scowl.
"Don't ya go thinkin' just cause that arm of yers is injured that yer exempt from any ass whoppin' I decided ta give fer that sassy mouth of yers. Ya wanna give me anymore lip, I'll be fixin' ta pull yer britches down right now and tan ya red til ya tell me how grateful ya are ta be eatin' my food. Ya hear me, little girl?" Merle was not hiding his annoyance in the slightest as he fixed her with a strong scowl showing his last nerve to her.
Addy swallowed turning her attention to the floor as her body filled with jittery anxiety feeling her cheeks blush bright red at his threat. Being spanked in the small trailer with Daryl watching in close proximity was frightfully an embarrassing thought. Addy nervously chewed on her bottom lip and said the only thing that was sure to save her at this moment.
"Yes…sir."
"Good." Merle declared forcefully nodding once.
"Now eat." He ordered in a tone that indicated she better do it now.
0000
After chocking down every bit of her supper Addy went to do the dishes, but Merle swatted her bottom away from the sink and told Daryl to do them. Merle made his way outside for his usual smoke after dinner. The man slouched low in his old lawn chair on the porch lighting his cigarette with his lighter. He inhaled the sweet nicotine expelling the smoke through his nostrils as he heard the door creak open behind him. Addy slowly walked out and sat in the empty lawn chair that sat a couple feet from Merle. Addy leaned back in the chair resting her arms on the armrests looking up at the beautiful sky that was painted yellow and pink by the setting sun. Addy felt a warm contentment grow within her as being outdoors often did.
After only a few short minutes, Addy found herself motivated to sing, hesitating for just a brief moment, Addy parted her lips and sung out the simple tune of her favorite Lynyrd Skynyrd's song. The words vibrated evenly and beautiful within her chest filling her body with zealous and comfort at the lovely, yet simple lyrics.
And be a simple kind of man, Oh be something you love and understand, Baby be a simple kind of man, Oh won't you do this for me son if you can.
Merle rested his head on the back of his chair and closed his eyes listening to the soothing melody of the young woman's delicate, yet powerful vocals. He swore he would never get tired of hearing the little woman sing. It seemed to be a routine now, each evening after super, if she had a mind to, she would sing or hum a couple verses of some of the songs she liked. Merle guessed it calmed her and made her content like a cigarette does for him. He never requested a song or even commented on her singing, he remained quietly content enjoying the woman's talent that he relished in hearing.
Forget your lust for the rich man's gold, All that you need is in your soul, And you can do this oh babe if you try, All that I want for you my son is to be satisfied….
Addy continued to sing until she finished every verse in the beautiful song. There was a long pause of silence as the bustle of the night rung in her ears. The guilt she was feeling began to weigh heavily on her chest as she thought about all times, she messed up today. She felt childish, immature and just an overall nuisance which bothered her greatly.
"M-Merle…" Addy timidly muttered out looking down at her fidgeting hands as she slumped forward in her chair in a defeated posture.
"Merle, I'm sorry about getting stupidly hurt and-and complaining about the food and, um, I'm just sorry." Addy apologized sincerely hating herself for being difficult today feeling her body tense up as her emotions were rising rapidly to the surface.
Merle was about to tell her to not be sorry and to just act right and not be so careless and perhaps threaten her backside some more, but the sound of whimpering and weeping cut through his ears sharply and suddenly. Shocked Merle flung open his eyes and sat up in his chair looking at Addy who was crying into her palms covering her face. Merle blinked a couple times dumbfounded as to why the woman was crying suddenly. Annoyance began to build up in his chest along with the frustrating feeling of uncomfortableness. He would never understand female emotions and he was nowhere near equipped to handle them as well as he should. In fact, he didn't really have a shitin' clue how to handle it. He was rather good at charming women when he wanted to, but, with Addy, she was a mystery to him altogether and it was frustratingly difficult to understand her open emotional vulnerability. Why couldn't the woman just keep it in? And spare him from these unwanted feelings? He had no desire to feel big unbearable emotions and he especially had no desire to feel pity for the woman – it was different from his gruff shielded character and in all honesty, it scared him. However, it was happening and there was little he could do to stop it.
"What in the fuckin' hell ya cryin' 'bout, girl? I didn't even spank ya ta day, just a couple swats, and yer cryin' like I just wailed the daylights outta ya." Merle barked not able to keep the annoyance out of his voice.
I should'a wailed the tar outta ya. Merle thought bitterly still upset at seeing the young woman get needlessly hurt.
Addy did not look up or even act like she heard the man at all and just continued to weep into her palms like the sad woman she was picturing every scar on Merle's back the was now etched into her brain.
"Quit it, now. Ya best stop yer cryin' and carryin' on for I give ya somethin' ta cry 'bout. Ya hear?" Merle threatened hoping to get a response out of her and snap her out of whatever the hell she was crying about.
Addy unable to keep her emotions in check blubbered out. "I'm-I'm just sorry." Her pitiful voice muffled by her hands.
"You say sorry one more time, girl, I'm gonna give ya somethin' ta be sorry 'bout." Merle warned in a deep tone as he gritted his teeth wanting nothing more then the woman to put a cork in it. What the hell she got to be sad about? He didn't spank her. Although now he was wishing he had as it was no secret, he felt she deserved it.
Addy gulped a breath of air trying to steady her vocals.
"You don't understand." Addy mumbled into her palms dejectedly letting her emotions carry her words.
Well, that was a 'womanly touchy-feely crap' start of a conversation if he ever heard of one.
"I just…are you okay?" Addy asked as she finally lifted her head from her palms turning her head to look at the man, her red wet eyes lined with concern and pain. Addy swore she was going to leave it alone, but it seemed the pain was cutting a lot deeper than she thought and the young woman's tender heart was unable to keep silent completely. Addy knew it was wrong to approach it this way and couldn't help but hate herself for being unable to simply keep her mouth shut. It was selfish.
"What in hell ya talkin' 'bout?" Merle snapped pressing his brows into a deep frown of irritation.
"I-I saw your…I-I'm just sorry." Addy sputtered out unable to say it completely or directly. Addy didn't really know what she was trying to say or how to express what she was feeling all she knew was she cared and it hurt.
There was a long pause of silence as Merle stared at the young woman feeling his body stiffen and tense at her revealing words that were now abundantly clear what she was referring to. Merle felt his jaw tighten somewhat in irritation as the woman just simply couldn't leave it alone. This little woman needed to learn to mind her business. The man's blue eyes hardened and his face grew ridged in a fixed stoic expression masking his rising anxiety and pain. Merle slowly and purposefully leaned forward in his chair until his forearms rested on his ridged thighs, his smoking cigarette dangling between his rough fingers, all the while, never taking his hard blue eyes off the woman for a second.
Addy gulped at the stern rather scary expression on Merle's face licking her lips nervously as she was able to reap the consequences of her emotional words.
"That, little missy, ain't none of yer business." Merle declared in a deep stern tone, pointing lazily towards her with his cigarette in hand. "And it ain't nothin' yer gonna understand. So, you just be a good little girl and never mind yer pretty little head 'bout it." Merle voice was surprisingly calm, but there was a strong sharp edge to it that suggested his words weren't a suggestion, but an order that he expect to be obeyed.
Addy's bottom lip began to tremble uncontrollably at Merle's words tears slowly and silently dripping down her cheeks making her look way younger than she was. Merle felt a growl sitting in the back of his throat feeling himself grow frustrated with the woman's vulnerable emotions and pathetic kicked puppy look. It was no secret Addy had a soft heart that she wore on her sleeve and it seemed the tender woman just couldn't hide her feelings and was too far gone in her own emotions to, in Merle's mind, 'handle it' alone.
Merle knew that Addy would never look at him the same if she didn't get whatever it was off her chest and that in turn would drive him crazy. Therefore, the man, unable to stand the pitiful look in the woman's eyes, let out a rough huff of hot air, unable to believe he was going to do this woman any favors today of all days.
"Alright, go on. Ya got one damn comment about this, girl, then yer gonna shut up 'bout it." Merle declared strongly holding up a stiff finger for emphasis feeling his body go tense while simultaneously surging with jittery anxiety. However, the man wouldn't dare show it. "Go on and say what ya want ta say then I don't wanna hear another word 'bout it, ya got me, girl? Now say it." Merle gruffly and bravely ordered pushing hard against the pressure of his rising apprehension.
Addy sniffled and ran her fingers under her eyes riding her of any tears as she tried got get a hold of her emotions.
"I-I…" Addy was not sure what to say anymore and just muttered out the first thing that came to mind. "Are you okay?" Addy found herself asking once again.
Merle cocked his head to the side the ghost of an arrogant smirk playing on his stern expression.
"Got a roof over my head and food in my gut. Don't I?" Merle asked firmly suggesting that it was something to be grateful for and being okay was as simple as that.
Addy just stared at him somewhat surprised, her lips parting but finding no words.
"Well, don't I?" Merle repeated signaling he wanted a response from her.
Addy nodded her head feeling a sudden shyness and awkwardness come over her as she looked at her feet escaping his ridged features. It seemed things were simple with Merle and as long as you had the basics of survival you were in fact 'okay'. Addy couldn't help, but admire the man for that, feeling the guilt rising in her gut once again about complaining about the food he made. Although it was clear Merle had the necessities in life, that was not Addy's ultimate meaning as she wanted to know if his heart was okay. However, Addy didn't know why she thought she would receive any answer on Merle's actual inner feelings especially on something so personal.
Merle took a long drag of his cigarette releasing the smoke slowly as he studied the young woman who looked downright disheartened. It amazed Merle at how much seeing his scars affected her and Merle discerned that the woman did not know much suffering in her life and seeing such things cut at her innocence in a way. The scars he bore were old, but annoyingly the pain of it all still lingered and burdened him with torment more often than he cared to admit. He was just sorry the little woman had seen it and he now was burdened with another pain of knowing she was going to look at him differently from now on. He just hoped she would be able to get over it and forget about it or at least pretend to. Seeing his scars did not change anything in his mind, he was still going to be the mean son of a bitch he always was and in no time at all she would realize that.
Merle sighed heavily and gruffly before leaning back in his chair keeping his blue eyes locked onto Addy's slumped defeated posture. Before Merle changed his mind, he patted his thighs loudly gaining her attention as she snapped up to see his arms spread wide beckoning her to sit on his lap.
"Come 'ere." Merle's raspy vocals rumbled out soothingly.
Addy instantly felt a warm spark ignite in her chest and immediately got up needing no further invitation as this is exactly what she was craving. Addy walked over to him her shyness melting away as she turned her body sideways and maneuvered herself onto his hard thighs. Merle pushed her towards him slumping lower in his chair as he adjusted his body until her head was nestled under his chin. Addy's nostrils filled with the strong scent of tobacco and leather and elements of body odor and musk which was surprisingly not unpleasant to the young woman. It smelled like Merle and at this moment it was welcomed. The side of Addy's face rested against his bare chest and part of his leather vest. Merle said nothing as he reached his arm over her and taking a drag of his cigarette before dropping it back down to rest on the arm of the chair. The man rested his head back in the chair enjoying the warmth of woman's body and the odd pleasing sense of knowing she was safe in his arms.
Addy did not break the silence nor did she wiggle or stiffen her body. She felt strangely relaxed and safe in the rough man's arms. Part of her felt a bit childish for needing to cuddle in the man's arms, but it gave her sense of security and warmth that she had honestly never felt before and what was most significant to Addy was the guff man offered her comfort and Addy would be damned if she did not take it. The man was not often comforting and did not excel in emotional matters, but Addy did notice he tried in his own way. It bothered Addy knowing that Merle was comforting her over his scars when it ultimately should be the other way around. It troubled Addy as she found it unfair to Merle. However, Addy knew, Merle being the guff and troubled man that he was, would not allow it any other way. Merle saw himself as the leader of his family and 'man', therefore either felt undeserving of comfort or felt it wrong it someway to receive sympathy seeing it as weak or cowardly. It was ultimately foolish thinking in Addy's mind, but she hoped perhaps one day he would allow her inside his heart, if only for just a moment. And Addy prayed that maybe by giving her some relief, he would, in turn, gain some comfort of his own.
The minutes ticked on and neither Addy nor Merle said a word allowing the buzzing insects to fill the silence between them. It was peaceful and comforting simply enjoying each other's company and Addy relished in the quiet moment allowing her heart fill with warmth and her body to rest against the man's strong body. At this moment Addy could not think of a place she would rather be.
TBC?
Let me know if you would like to see more of this story. And please review! I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. It was a difficult one to write and I would love some feedback.
Thank you for reading!
