"Everytime"
A/N: Hey ya'll. I'm really excited about writing this chapter because everything is going to be oh so totally...different. We're slowly drawing closer to the end which is really kind of sad...but let's not mention that now. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope you all continue to read this story even though sometimes I'm rather slow with up-dates. I really do appreciate all of my readers and all of the reviews. :0) So without further ado I now present to you the new chapter. :0)
Lizzie found herself staring judgingly at her reflection in the mirror as her hair and make up team prepared her for yet another video shoot. Not much had changed in her appearance although her once long blonde locks now rested upon her shoulders and framed her perfect face. Outside she was still the same Lizzie. It was the inside that had been damaged. She often found herself thinking back to the day when everything changed, when her whole world crumbled around her. She pushed those thoughts aside for now anyways. She again focused her attention on her reflection. The once happy girl that everyone had grown to love was gone and in her place was a sad and confused girl. Lizzie was now 18 and alone. Sure she had the most amazing friends ever who were waiting for her on the set, and had the most incredible career, and her family whom she loved more than anything, but she felt completely alone and disconnected. After this video shoot all of her friends will be leaving for college and she will be even more alone. She shook her head as she tried to rid herself of the painful thoughts. Lorenzo was now finished with her hair and Linda was putting the finishing touches on her make up. Lizzie smiled a fake smile and thanked them both as she headed out to set. She smiled another fake smile as she found her friends there smiling and waiting for her. She gingerly ran over to them and instigated a group hug. After the hug ended she looked at the group of friends standing all around her and felt truly lucky to be surrounded with such good friends. Miranda, Kate, Ethan and Larry who interestingly enough had joined the group of friends after he and Miranda started dating in their sophomore year of high school.
"You look amazing Liz." Miranda finally commented breaking the silence. "But isn't the whole set and everything kinda depressing?"
Lizzie giggled a little. "Randa, it's a depressing song, do you expect bunnies hopping around and singing happily along with me?"
Ethan's eyes grew wide. "She has a point there. But the bunnies would be awesome in a video."
The whole group had a laugh at Ethan, which they had all grown pretty accustomed to.
Ethan looked confused and everyone laughed. "I was serious."
That only set everyone into a new round of giggles.
Although Lizzie was laughing she wasn't really happy. She was laughing for the sake of her friends. She really didn't want to let them know how unhappy she truly was. She didn't want them to worry about her so she put on a happy face and pretended to be the same normal Lizzie.
"So what's on the agenda today?" Miranda questioned Lizzie.
"Ugh close up's." Lizzie whined. "Those are always boring because you just stand there and sing, but at least we're getting that out of the way first. Whoa, where did Larry get off too?" She noticed Larry's sudden disappearance.
"Ahhh, he went to watch all of the technical stuff. You know him." Miranda laughed.
"Oh." Lizzie said knowingly. "Gotcha." She winked.
Amanda, Lizzie's new personal assistant walked over to the group.
"Lizzie, you're needed on set."
"Oh ok. Thanks." Lizzie waved to her friends and took her spot on set in front of the long black curtains that were moving rapidly from a fan from behind to simulate motion.
"Ready?" The director asked Lizzie.
"Ready" She meekly replied.
"Roll playback."
Lizzie lip synced along to the pre-recorded track fine until she reached the part she dreaded the most.
It's Nice To Know That You Were There
Lizzie could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and a lump forming in her throat.
Thanks For Acting Like You Cared
She let her guard down as a tear slipped silently down her face.
And Making Me Feel Like I Was The Only One
She felt the world closing in around her as more tears flowed down her face.
It's Nice To Know We Had It All
She felt like running, running away from it all.
Thanks For Watching As I Fall
She had all she could take.
"I can't do this." She tearfully fell to a crouching position, hugging her knees.
Everyone on set wasn't sure what was going on or what to do so they all set there, waiting to see what happened.
She finally stood up and just kind of zoned out for a second as in deep thought. Finally coming to her senses she ran out of the room and headed for the comfort of her dressing room.
"I'll go talk to her." Miranda told the group and ran after her friend.
She approached the dressing room door and found it shut. She lightly knocked on the door and waited. No answer. She knocked once more and still no answer. She decided to just walk in, so she quietly turned the knob and entered the room to find Lizzie with her feet curled under her on the couch, head against the cushion behind and she was sobbing. This only confirmed Miranda's suspicions that Lizzie was not acting how she truly felt.
"Liz?" She asked as if asking for permission to speak.
Lizzie looked up to see Miranda; she hadn't noticed that anyone besides herself was in the room. She wiped the tears that were running down her face and gave Miranda her best fake smile.
She tried to act as if nothing was wrong. "Randa, I didn't hear you come in."
Miranda grew frustrated. "Liz cut the shit. I know something is wrong."
Lizzie was taken aback. "What?"
"Lizzie I've known you since like ever. I think I know when something is wrong with you." She shook her head and took a seat next to Lizzie.
Lizzie found herself fighting back tears as she bit her lower lip. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and returned her attention to Miranda.
"I-I-I I just couldn't take it Randa. Everything came flooding back to me, and I just couldn't take it."
"Liz, come here." Miranda opened her arms and Lizzie scooted over to Miranda and fell into her open arms and then fell to a laying position resting her head on her best friends leg. "I know it hurts Liz, I really do but you have to move on, honey. You just have to. You can't spend your life dwelling on it."
Lizzie shook her head. "I know." She whispered, barely audible. "It just hurts so much."
"I know it does but one day that hurt will start to fade and then the next it'll fade even more and more until it's gone, but until then you need to pull yourself together, hon. It hurts me to see you like this."
Miranda was about to say more but Lizzie cut her off.
"I never thought it would hurt this much, but it does, it really does."
Miranda sighed and nodded in agreement.
Silence fell over the two. Lizzie sat up from her once laying position. "Randa?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I be alone for a minute to collect myself enough to head back to set?"
Miranda smiled, seeing her friend finally coming around. "Sure." She exited the room, leaving Lizzie all alone once again.
She looked at the small platinum ring band with diamonds encircling it and that day came flooding back to her.
-Flashback-
Lizzie had taken a year off after one of Gordo's independent films had gained major popularity with the celebrity crowd and was becoming a fast hit. He and Lizzie had both since finished high school at the age of 16 because of a lot of studying ahead due to her constant touring and he was always there with her right by her side every step of the way. Since they had both finished early he took up a film making class at UCLA and fastly became one of the best students in class. One of his teachers, sophomore year had informed him about a filming opportunity that he thought that Gordo would be perfect for and eager to start his career, Gordo accepted and was hired as the director for the independent film. Gordo would love when Lizzie would visit on set, it seemed to bring a wonderful light to the set and everyone always seemed cheerful when she was around. When the movie had opened at an international film festival it quickly became a hit and that's when Lizzie made the decision to take a year off to tour around with Gordo to promote the movie. They were both 18 years old at this point and were free to tour without parental supervision. Gordo quickly made lots of friends with various film makers and everyone wanted him to direct their next big movie. He had never been happier before in his life. That is until he noticed that the life was slowly draining out of the once spunky Lizzie. At events she would just kind of fade into the background as he talked to reporters about the movie and upcoming projects. He tried to tell himself that it was just his imagination but he knew what was really happening and that was that Lizzie was giving up her dreams and herself to be with him. That's when he realized what he had to do.
Lizzie heard the words in her head so clearly as if they had just been said yesterday.
Gordo became increasingly frustrated as Lizzie tried to convince him that he was making a huge mistake. "Lizzie, I can't ask you to give up your life for me!" He yelled.
"Gordo! Hello, I'm not. This is what I want. Why the hell would I have taken off a whole frigging year from music? Huh Gordo, huh? So I could be with you!" Lizzie shot back.
"Exactly! You're giving up your life for me and I can't ask you to do that. Not anymore Liz, so don't make this any harder than it already is." He sighed.
Lizzie sat down on the couch in defeat. "Fine if that is what you want, then just leave, please." She pointed to the door.
"Liz, c'mon I didn't..."
"Leave." She insisted as she began to silently cry.
"Ok, I guess that's fair. I'll leave." He walked to the door. "Lizzie, just don't forget that I do love you and that I only did this because I love you and I can't see you give up your life for my happiness. I just can't do that, Liz, I can't. I want you to have a happy ending. I love you." He then opened the door, walked out and disappeared from her life.
-End Flashback-
Lizzie took the ring off of her finger and threw it into the wall on the other side of the room. It fell to the floor with a clink and circled around and around before it made it's finally resting place on the floor.
Lizzie walked to the door and opened it, she paused before leaving and looked at the ring on the floor.
"So much for my happy ending." She sighed and walked back onto the set.
A/N: Ahhh. That was SO unbelievably hard to write but I'm really proud of it. Hope you all enjoyed it. Review if you liked it or even if you didn't. I would love to hear your feedback on it. :0)
