Disclaimer & A/N: I don't own Inu-Yasha, Mara DOTN, or any other thing that is owned by someone else. I'm sad after that statement. But ONE DAY!!!! ONE DAY I SHALL OWN INU-YASHA!!!!! ANDTHEN, THE WORLD!!!
Tough People will a wheeler: ok, Pooka, calm down and get into this nice jacket that has buckles on it that was designed to restrain-WE MEAN…um…CONTAIN your beautiful form!!!
C.P.: YOU FOOLS!! I know what you nitwits are up to! You think that you can get me into that straight-jacket so that you can wheel me away as fast as you can in that wheelie-thingy to the nearest Insaniiariun!!! You shall not fool me, you fools!!!
Tough People: Um….we have PUDDING!!! THE CHOCOLATE KIND WITH THE LITTLE MARSHMALLOWS IN IT THAT YOU LIKE!!!1
C.P.: gasp you mean the kind that costs like 15 bucks for a measly little square container?! The kind that I'm not allowed to have because it acts like a tranquilizer when it's in my body?!
Tough People: shifty-eyed…yeah, THAT one that you are totally obsessed with and have been known to attack old ladies in a fight for the last box at the local market…
C.P.: …hmm….this situation is practically screaming BRIBERY and DANGER...but the marshmallow-y chocolate goodness is calling me…must resist…can't resist…DAMN YOU, WEAKNESS! GIVE ME THAT PUDDING, FAT BOY!!!! (launches onto the tough people and snatches the pudding, then proceeds to swallow the pudding in its raw, POWDER form)
The stupider of the two Tough People: …Ya know, that might have tasted better if you had let us make it for you… we even brought a little portable stove to mix it in! And I was SO looking forward to playing house!
C.P.: …do I look like I CARE?! Now! snaps fingers as haughtily as she can with a tranquilizer in her system Wheel me away! Vamoose! waves drunkenly to audience Bye, peoples! Enjoy the vext-mext -oh whatever- ENJOY!!!
Italicized- thoughts
Chapter 4 – Who Says Girls Can't Fight?!
The river swayed gently, shimmering as if silver powder had been thrown into it. The day was calm with a slight breeze, but otherwise it was comfortably warm. "A perfect day," Kagome thought idly. She was currently resting on a deck chair, watching the passing boats. "Ahh…life is good," she continued. "The sun is shining, the ship is quiet, all in all everything's as good as it can get." She looked around. The deck was empty except for a few crew members checking this, or securing that.
It was the perfect moment for a light nap.
Kagome slowly eased herself into a comfortable position and let her eyes flutter closed to the sound of the water…she would sleep just for a little while…
Inu-Yasha reached the ship quickly, since he was done with all of his business. When he reached the steps, a crew member saw him and called for Miroku. He came running with a huge plank held like a bat. He looked around sleepily.
"…Huh?...Da…Wha happened?..."he mumbled incoherently. It was obvious that he had just woken up. Inu-Yasha grinned.
"NOTHING happened, Miroku."
Miroku looked confused. "Then…why was I called?" Inu-Yasha rolled his eyes. "Because now that I'm here, we can GO, smart one."
"Miroku looked at him as if he had just realized he was there. Then he walked over to a bucket of water that was resting on the rail, and proceeded to pour it over his head.
"That's better. Right after I wake up I don't make much sense." Inu-Yasha raised an eyebrow. "So I saw," he said wryly.
Miroku looked as if he was trying to remember something. "Oh Yeah! We have another passenger, so you're not the only one anymore." Inu-Yasha looked interested. "Where?" Miroku thought for a moment. "Was on the deck the last I saw."
Inu-Yasha nodded and started walking down the deck. He wondered who the person was. "Maybe it's one of the queen's spies…"
Inu-Yasha rounded a corner and saw a body lying on a lawn chair. "This must be him," he thought.
As he got closer though, he actually saw that it wasn't "him" at all, but "HER".
But wait a minute. Something about this girl looked familiar. The bluish black hair, the raggedly clothes that somehow (don't ask exactly how) seemed stylish…that defiant face…
When Inu-Yasha realized who she was he almost gasped. "This is like the fourth time I've seen her in one day! Wait a minute…is she a stalker?! Maybe she isn't a slave, but just in disguise…Maybe I should grow a beard or something…!" Inu-Yasha stopped his thoughts when he realized that she was awake…and staring at him.
"Why are you staring at me?" she asked nervously. "I could ask the same thing of you," he answered amusedly. Her next question shocked him to silence. "…Are you a stalker?!" she asked him. He really didn't know how to answer that. He couldn't just tell her that he had seen her while going about his secret business.
"What makes you think that?" he asked cautiously. "Well, you're strange. And you're eyes are weird. And you're still staring at me!" He snorted. "Well, you're no classic beauty yourself, either!" he said sharply. Next thing he knew, his cheek was stinging badly and he was seeing stars. He gaped at her. She had jumped out of her chair and her hand was still in its final stage after the slap.
His hand went shakily to his face, and he stared at her in shock. "You…you HIT me…" he stuttered. "You deserved it!" she yelled. "How dare you say that to a lady?! Even if it's true, you STILL don't say that! EVER!" He continued to stare at her unblinkingly, his hand still on his face. "Y-you HIT me!" he repeated with more emphasis on the word "hit".
Suddenly his eyes started to mist up, and his bottom lip trembled. He sniffed, and she suddenly forgot her anger and stooped down to where he kneeled covering his face. She held his face and tried to "shush" him. "I-I'm so sorry! I didn't-I didn't mean it! I SWEAR! Please don't cry!" She said frantically. She started to panic when he ignored her and cried harder. She looked around wildly until she saw something that might help. "Um…do you want a lollipop?! Um…how about this nice squeaky toy?! NO?!...a blankie in your favorite color?!" Inu-Yasha grabbed the blankie (which was red of course) and held it to his face, but kept crying. Kagome groaned and banged her head on the floor.
Now, Miroku just happened to be walking down the deck to see how the two were getting along, when he, surprised, came upon this dramatic scene. He stopped mid-step, dumbfounded by what he was seeing.
Suddenly he saw Inu-Yasha glance up at him and give wink that told all, and he knew what was going on which caused the laughter to just bubble up. He really did try to keep it in, but we all know that whenever you try to keep it in, it always comes out. In Miroku's case, he held it until he couldn't hold it anymore, and then it just came out.
First it was a tiny giggle (if you can imagine Miroku giggling). Then it was a chuckle. Then it evolved into a guffaw. Suddenly it was all out tear-jerking, knee-slapping, stomach-clenching laughter. It was like a damn breaking before a huge river. A river that turned trees into matchsticks, created new bodies of water, and overall just drenched everything.
Now you all also have probably known that when laughter strikes, it doesn't stop until it has spread to everyone in the area. It is best described as contagious. It spreads like a virus. This also is exactly what happened in this situation.
Miroku was at this moment laughing so hard that he was on his knees. Kagome stopped and looked at Miroku weirdly. "What's so funny?" she asked sharply. She looked back at Inu-Yasha and she understood completely.
Inu-Yasha was trying his hardest to keep a straight face, but his mouth would quirk every second, and he pretended to sneeze repeatedly to mask the chuckles that were coming from him. But sooner or later every person must give in to the laughter, and Inu-Yasha broke down.
We applaud him for his effort, though.
He then laughed as if he had seen the funniest thing in the world, as if he had just heard the funniest joke. He pointed at her while he covered his face with his other hand, all pain and crying forgotten. His laughs echoed across the water, until other boat keepers were looking around trying to find the source of the insane sound.
And on this day, it was remembered by all who were there that Kagome was made a fool, in front of anyone who wanted to see.
It was also remembered that on this day, Kagome went into a rage so bad that people claimed that they saw steam come out of her ears.
"You JERK! I'll give you something to laugh at!" she yelled and charged him. To Inu-Yasha, she suddenly had the strength of 3 men as her fist connected with his stomach to knock the wind out of him. He crumbled to the ground clutching his stomach where impact had been, and he sure as heck wasn't laughing then. Kagome then stormed over to Miroku who had started to cringe when she looked at him. Then with an animalistic growl that would have terrified the wildest beast, she hoisted him up and, in one graceful movement, threw him overboard.
She turned around and she smirked when she heard Miroku's body hit the water. "That," she said, and emphasized it by booting Inu-Yasha, "is what happens when people try to make a fool out of me."
As she walked away, Inu-Yasha swore he heard her mutter something right before he accepted the gift of blesséd unconsciousness:
"This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship."
A/N: Well, I hope that you guys liked my new chapter, since it caused much pain (and not just on my part) to write! I'm on Thankxgiving Break right now, so hopefully I'll have the resolution to start (if not finish) the next chapter…but the pull of going on a manga-spree at the nearest Borders is very tempting…anywayz, guys, PLEASE REVIEW (if you value your sanity), since I would really appreciate it if you do! You people who just read and don't contribute a review (and you know who youz are, I'm not naming no names) this is a joint relationship here! You have to give something if you want something! And I require a review (which isn't that much to ask for, I might add), for all of the sweat and creative labor that goes into writing. All that I'm asking for is one itty-bitty-teeny-weenie-miniscule review! I understand that some of you have busy schedules, but I'm not asking for a two page report on the literary devices and the overall tone of the story! I will gladly accept a five-word message, even if you thought that it ABSOLUTELY SUCKED, and was SO BAD that it doesn't even deserve the title of fanfiction, I will accept it. I won't be happy about if, mind you, but beggars can't be choosers. The following is an example of some reviews that you could take a few seconds to write. You could even copy-and-paste it for all that I care! Wait a minute. I take that back: I do care a little if you decided to copy-and-paste the following example reviews, simply because I want to know what YOU think, not what I told you would be okay to write. As a matter of fact, just ignore the past four sentences.
Take Two:
You guys, I don't care what you write, just as long as you make the slightest attempt to communicate with me about the story. You can write whatever you feel like writing, be it raves, flames, or even rambling, like the last 20-or-so lines, and that is the honest-ta-Gravy truth.
…but I was serious about you slacker readers who don't donate to the environment. But I shall stop rambling now, since you guys are probably asleep already. I need to go buy a ferret, so I'll see ya'll later! Bai!
P.S. You guys probably saw all of those typos in the Author's Note up a ways, and I'm just letting ya know that those were intentional. Okay.
P.S.S. I'm sorry you guys that I was rambling earlier for the whole time, but it's 9:26 p.m., which is late for me, and I haven't had my tea which has caffeine in it. Please forgive me. TT
P.P.S.S. …Nah, just kidding, I won't add any more to this already long A/N. Just Kidding!
