Problem 10: Who's, whose new friend, and who sits here?
Three days after the destruction of the seventh Angel, Asuka Langley Souyu is beginning her first day of school in Japan. Since homeroom she has been the talk of the school, her popularity has soured to heights that even rival the day when Yukari Ayanami entered the school. Gym class has been her strongest class as she topped every student who dared challenged her.
"Have you heard all the talk..." Kensuke mutters as he stands just out side of the men's locker. "Asuka, Asuka, Asuka..."
Touji Suzahara stands beside him going over his friend's pictures of the red haired hellion who has just joined their school. "Thank god your pictures don't show her personality... She's a real female dog, if you know what I mean." Exiting the locker room is Shinji Ikari; Touji is first to see his friend and waves to him. "Hey, big shot!"
The shy young boy who has a lot on his mind since the battle, the small glimmer of hope that Shinji has not seen in his life, Asuka Langley Souyu has done more then save his life, but she has also entangled his heart in a deluge of twisted emotions. Shinji has only felt this way once before in his life, and his coward ness, led that feeling to nothingness. But in the end Shinji is still skilled in running away from his fears and problems so it makes it easier to hide the small crush he has developed for his fellow pilot. "I see you're making a nice profit..."
Shinji's words were delivered with a rare tone of sarcasm; both Kensuke and Touji knew it was uncommon for their friend to be so up front. Kensuke is willing to challenge his friends comment as he holds up a wad of bills. "I don't see you making ten hundred Yen."
Next to comment is Touji who can't help but chuckle at his friend. "Well you're the lucky one you have to work with her..."
"What ever..."
Shinji moves on and begins to head back to class, with nearly a half hour till the start, Shinji finds him self wondering the school ground trying to avoid thoughts about Asuka.
"Guten Morgen... Shinji..." Asuka cool and confident voice rings out over the crowed around Shinji.
The boy turns to see his fellow classmate and Evangelion Pilot. She walks up to him with a smirk on her face. "Guten... Morgen..." Shinji's would have had a hard time trying to speak German to Asuka but her morning greeting was almost as active as Yukari's and it involved a little German 101. 'Why am I so quiet... I should be happy she saved my life and all.'
Shinji smiles at Asuka as she walks over to him flicking him on the forehead. "I'm the most popular girl in school; you should appreciate your good fortune." Shinji shrugs his shoulder's at the statement, the same could have been said when Yukari joined the school. "The other one is here to, right."
Taken from thought Shinji looks at Asuka with a raised eyebrow. "Other..."
"The first child... sister to that dunculf zero!"
"Oh..."
Shinji looks down the steps to where Rei Ayanami usually perches her self after gym. Typically she is alone but ever since Yukari came around she is always seen with her yellowed eyed sister. Yukari is currently tugging on Rei's are trying to get the girls attention. Rei desperately tries to ignore her sister's constant annoyance and read a book. As if Rei couldn't be annoyed anymore, a shadow casts over her book, and unable to move with Yukari latched to her arm she looks up to the sight of Asuka standing on a concrete block that is next to the bench Rei sits on.
'The second child...' Rei thinks to her self as she remembers the briefing she received form her commander on the child that stands in front of her. 'The Commander says that she as annoying as Ayanami... I hope not..."
"Your Rei Ayanami right, pilot of the Prototype. Hi I'm Asuka Langley Souyu designated pilot to Unit Two, let's be good friends."
All Rei can do is sigh as she puts her book down on her lap and looks up to Yukari that rubs on her arm like a kitten as she purrs. 'I never thought their could be two fourteen year olds with such a big mouth.' She then looks back to Asuka who waits for an answer.
"What for..."
Smiling at the small challenge presented to her by the first child she looks at Yukari who is obviously being a nuisance by the way Rei looked at her. Asuka jumps down from her towing vantage point and lands on the ground next to Rei. As she rises to stand she picks up a rock from the ground and holds it up to Yukari.
"Hey, Zero..." Asuka gestures as if trying to offer a dog a treat. Yukari looks up to Asuka and smiles.
"What's up, Kyoko..."
Asuka nearly crushes the rock in her hand as Yukari once more addresses her by her mother's name. Once more the memories that she has hidden deep in her mind is creeping closer to remembrance. "See this rock..."
"Yea..."
"Go after the rock..." Asuka once more maintains her smile despite her hatred for the girl. She also chucks the rock far off landing in the school courtyard almost fifty yards away.
In total amazement, Rei watches as Yukari leaps off the bench and sprints off to the resting place of the rock. She stands and looks at Asuka as if God sent her. Rei despite her many attempts have never been able to free her self as quickly as Asuka just did. Asuka her self looks to Rei's Red eyes to see surprise and relief all in one, this brings a smile to her face.
"Because it would be convenient."
With a small nod Rei watches as Yukari searches for the rock that was thrown, Yukari disregards the people around her as she is on all fours looking for it. "I believe your offer is valid... I will fulfill you request in being your... Friend..."
Asuka places her hand on Rei should and smiles as they both watch Yukari looks for the small rock. "I think we can be good friends..."
Feeling the slightly taller girl touch her shoulder sends a wave of feeling to Rei's mind. A bond she has only felt with one other, Gendo Ikari, the fact the Asuka was able to being this sensation back to Rei's life, allows her to break her statue like stance as she relaxes her shoulder's and slowly smiles.
"Yes..."
"Well that's a first..." Touji mutters as he leans over the sky walk of the school and watch as Yukari finally finds the rock and goes running back to where Asuka and her sister once was only to find them gone. "Rei talks, Asuka is nice and Yukari fell for a stupid trick, all weirdo's... I guess that's what it takes to be a pilot, a big shot ."
"I'm weird..." Touji looks to Kensuke for say such a thing. .
'At least it's peaceful in my pilot's locker room.' Shinji that is just on the other side leans on to the skywalk and rests his head on his arms trying not to think about the comment that was made. "Well at least I'm the only guy..."
His friends take Shinji's words to the gutter, as they release a volley of catcalls and sly comments.
"So Shinji, which one are you going to do first!"
"Errr!"
Rei and Asuka sit at in their class and await the start of the second half of school. Asuka talks up a storm as she tells Rei how annoyed she is with all the fanfare she has gotten form all the boys in the school. Unknown to Asuka, Rei is having a hard time trying to understand everything being said. Even if Asuka was speaking fluent Japanese the concepts and logic she uses is out of Rei's league and something she never dealt with before.
"I'm sorry, Miss Soryu..." Rei says as she tries to stop Asuka from confusing her even more. "I have never experienced the problems you speak of."
At first Asuka doesn't respond to such formal speech. "I'm Asuka, got that Rei... We are friends so we call each other by our first names." Seeing that Rei is having a hard time Asuka rolls her eyes. "What don't you understand?"
For a second Rei only looks at Asuka but does her best to answer the question. "I have never been... advanced by a male student before."
Not sure on why a girl with Rei's figure would have a problem with getting a guy. 'She has to be bigger then I and a little bit more toned...' Asuka takes a second to answer the question. "Come on Rei, with a body like your, you have never been asked out."
"No... I believe I would not want to even if asked, I have no need for something I see as fruitless as acquiring a significant other."
Asuka shakes her head in agreement. "That's true, nothing but perverted Okatu's around here, Kaji is the only real man in my life, of course when he's not running away...."
'Odd, she prefers someone who is almost twice her age.' Rei is somewhat confused but she reminded that she does have a significant other, even if Gendo has not been in her life that much since Yukari has come out of the room of Guaf, she still cared for him. "You prefer an older male other then one your age?"
"Of course!" Asuka smiles as she sees that Rei has the look that she is thinking of someone special. "Do you think the same way."
Rei looks to her hands as they begin to tingle as if they are falling asleep. "I have never thought about the subject matter. It is probable that if I was ordered to select a significant other, I would choose a strong leader, like Commander Ikari, and from what I know of Agent Kaji, he would also..."
"I don't think so Rei..." Asuka small out burst distracts Rei as she looks up thinking she did something wrong. With a smile and a pat on the head Asuka shakes her head. "Kaji is mine you're going to have to find some one else."
'But this was a hypothetical question?' Rei raises an eyebrow as she watch Asuka daydream about Kaji. "Pilot Souyu, the question under discussion was rhetorical; I would not make any advances to what you claim unless ordered."
"Ordered..."
Before Asuka can get a response for her question, a voice calls out to the two of them. "Miss Soryu, Miss Rei..."
Both look up to see Hikari Horaki standing at the doorway. Asuka looks to the class rep with a smile. "Hello."
"Miss Soryu, can you hand out these packets?" Hikari asks as she holds out a folder full of papers. "A roaster is on top, this will help you learn your classmate's name."
"Sure thing..." Asuka stands and goes to Hikari.
"Miss. Rei," Hikari gestures to the blue haired girl who can only be distinguished by her sister is by her eye color. "Can you help me; get some paper work from the main office?"
With not even a nod Rei stands and walks out of the classroom with Hikari. All by her self, Asuka begins to hum a tone as she opens up the folder. She walks to the front of the classroom but stops just before setting down a packet.
'The damn Roaster is all in Kanji!' Asuka looks around to see no one around and begins to study the characters on the page. 'Damn it why can't they just Romen-jin there damn language!'
Asuka desperately tries to decipher the Kanji with no luck, alone but unwilling to go and get help, she is relieved when someone enters the classroom. Asuka turns to the person about to ask for help but her smile wiped from her face when she sees Yukari holding the rock Asuka tossed earlier out.
'I hope you can become a good friend to my sister...' Yukari smiles as Asuka debates on if she should ask her for help. 'She maybe a jerk but she the only one who can help my sister... Even if it means I'm the one they both hate..." Yukari tries not to frown as Asuka shoves the Roaster in front of her face.
"What does this say?" Asuka demands from her fellow pilot.
At first not sure on what Asuka wants, she looks at the Roaster to see it is in Kanji. Quickly Yukari's intelligence brings up a maniacal plan to pay Asuka back for the rock stunt. "You don't know the Kanji?"
"Just tell me what the names are." Once more Asuka demands with fervor as she puts her hands on her hips.
Yukari points to the first name on the roaster and shows it to Asuka. Asuka's skills in Japanese Kanji are not good enough to translate the name right. "Da...Dare... look I don't understand it."
'Dare, the Japanese word for who.' Yukari's grins with a twisted and evil look that rivals even the smiles Gendo gives. "In class 2-A we have Who sits there"
Not sure if Yukari understand what she wants, she repeats her question differently. "I need their names, Tell me their names and were they sit?"
"I'm telling you..." Yukari puts on a game face and does her best to not laugh as her joke unfolds. "Who sits there, what sits there..."
With her question unanswered Asuka rolls her eyes. "Do you know their names?"
With a simple smile Yukari answers. "Yes..."
"Then who sits here?"
"Yes..." Yukari looks to the desk.
Frustrated at the response Asuka yells out. "I meant the kid's name!"
With a confused look Yukari looks over to Asuka. "Dare..."
Asuka bites her lip with anger. "The kid who sits there..."
"Yes..." Once more Yukari holds her straight face.
Still unaware of the joke Asuka clenches her fists. "The kid that sits here?"
"Dare..."
Once more Asuka is answered with a question in her mind. "Who sits here, damn it?"
With a hand gesture she points at the desk. "Who sits there!"
"Why the hell are you asking me!" Asuka yells out the Yukari.
Yukari responds by putting her hands on her hips. "I'm not asking you I'm telling you!"
"I'm asking you who sits here!"
Still trying not to laugh Yukari points at the desk. "That's the kid's name!"
Asuka stares Yukari down. "That's who name?"
"Yes..."
Not satisfied and still unable to get what Yukari is doing Asuka yells out. "Then tell me Baka!"
"Dare..."
"The kid that sits here!" Asuka calls out as she slams her hand on the desk.
"Dare..."
Yukari's answer drives Asuka mad. "The Kids name!"
"Dare."
Asuka jumps up and down in anger. "Then tell me his name!"
With a look as if Asuka is stupid, Yukari points at the desk next to her. "Who sits there!
"Does a kid sit here at all?"
"Yes..."
Asuka twitches with so much anger she can hardly move. "Then who sits here?"
"Absolutely..."
Asuka spins around and grabs her head in a daze as she tries to find another way to say her question. "When the teacher hands out papers, who gets it?"
"Every last one, why not, we all have to do it." Yukari says with a small smile as she looks at the desk."
"Who is?" Asuka hisses to her fellow pilot.
"Yes..."
With her question still not answered Asuka points at the desk and yells out. "So who gets it?"
"Why shouldn't he, he's in the class..." Yukari begins to scratches her head. "Maybe if he's sick he wouldn't..."
"Who's sick?"
Yukari nods her head. "Yes, don't worry he will get the print outs..."
"Who does?"
"Sure," Yukari looks to the exit with confidence. "Hikari is pretty good on giving them out..."
Asuka grabs Yukari by the strap of her uniform. "All I'm asking is what's the kids name..."
"Oh, no... no," Yukari holds up the roaster and shows her the Kanji that she knows Asuka cant understand. She then points to the desk behind her. "What sits here..."
"I'm not asking you who sit there zero!"
Still able to hold a straight face Yukari shakes her head in frustration. "No Who sits here..." She points to the desk next to her.
"That's what I need to know!"
Yukari puts her hands on her hips in anger. "Then don't change their names!"
"I'm not changing them around..." Asuka shakes Yukari around in a fit of anger.
"Me.. ooo.... ow..."
Asuka stops shaking the smaller girl and points to the desk. "What is the kid's name who sits here?"
"What the kid's name who sits here!" Yukari hisses as she points behind her.
"I'm not asking you who sits there!"
Yukari points to the desk in next to her. "Who sit here..."
"Wakaranai!" Asuka rolls her eyes in frustration.
'Its nice to have what she says to be one word.' With a shake of the head Yukari points out the door. "She in classroom 4-A, we aren't talking about her...."
Asuka lets Yukari go completely confused. "How did I get in 4-A?"
"You said a girls name from 4-A ..."
"If I said the name of a kid in 4-A," Asuka points out of the classroom. "Who did I say was there?"
"No, who sits here!" Yukari points to the desk next to her.
"Shut up!" Asuka screams at the top of her longs as she points out of the classroom. "Dumculf and stay out of 2-A."
"What do you want me to do?"
"What the kid's name in 4-A?" Asuka says as she still can't decipher Yukari's trick.
"What in 2-A!" Yukari points at the desk behind her.
Asuka begins to shake Yukari. "I'm not asking you who in 2-A!"
After her second round of Asuka shaking her like a can of orange juice she points to the desk next to her. "Who is in class 2-A..."
"Wakaranai!"
Yukari points out of the class with anger. "She's in 4-A!"
Asuka shakes her head as she is on the brink of having her brain explode. "I'm back in 4-A"
"Well I can't change their names..."
With a stare that could take scare off anyone else Asuka hisses. "Shut up and stay in 4-A, Zero!"
"Meow," Yukari walks behind and points to the desk. "What is it you want me to read from this sheet..."
"What is the kids name in 4-A!"
Now being next to the desk that was behind her she points to it. "What is the kid's name that sits here!"
"I'm not asking for who sits there!" Asuka calls out so loud other students look into the room."
Yukari points to the desk in front of her. "Who sits there!"
"Wakaranai!"
Once more Yukari points back out of the class. "She's in 4-A!"
"Errrr...." Asuka gasps for air as she can't understand what's going on. "Okay who sits to the right of Shinji..."
"Naze..."
Asuka looks up to Yukari ready to kill her. "I don't know, I just thought I would ask."
Yukari puts her hands on her hips. "I just thought I would tell you!"
The class watches from the doorways as Asuka points next to Shinji's desk. "Then tell me who sits next to Shinji..."
Yukari points to the desk in front of her. "Who sits here!"
With a glance to the desk Yukari points at she looks back to the girl in raged as she runs up and begins to shake her. "That's no where close to Shinji!"
"Then don't say the kid's name!"
After she is down shaking Yukari she point back to Shinji's desk. "I want to know what is the kid's name, next to Shinji?"
Some what hurt by all the shaking Yukari points to the desk next to her. "What sits here!"
"I'm not asking you who sits here!"
Once more Yukari points to the desk in front of her. "Who sits here!"
"Wakaranai?"
Yukari takes the roaster and shows it to Asuka and points to a Kanji that is similar to the one Asuka just said. "She's in 4-A!"
"AHHHHHHHHH" Asuka screams out in pain as her head hurts from Yukari's little game.
"Calm down..."
"And the kid next to Shinji!" Asuka yells as she tries to calm down."
"Naze!"
Asuka shakes Yukari around. "Nari!"
"Oh," Yukari points to another Kanji on the roast that looks like the Kanji for Because. "He sits next to Rei."
"Errrrr!" Asuka slaps the roaster out of her hand.
"Pick up the roster..."
"Zero I will ask you one more thing before I kill you!" Asuka picks up the roaster and shows it to Yukari by rubbing it in her face. "Does this class have a class Rep?"
"Sure!"
Asuka nods her head. "Tell me her name..."
"Hikari..."
Finally able to get somewhere Asuka pushes Yukari. "Do we have a back up..."
"Yea..."
Asuka points to her self. "I'm a good leader"
"I know that."
With her speech slowed because of her soar throat she continues. "I would like to be the back up..."
"You would have to talk to Hikari..."
"I would like to be the back up..." Asuka points to the folder with the handouts in side. "Now say I was the back up. Hikari calls out sick and I have to hand out printouts. Me being a good leader would take the handouts and give them to who."
With a large smile Yukari pats Asuka on the back. "That's the first thing you said right..."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Yukari points to the roaster. "But that's all you have to do!"
"To give it to who!"
Yukari nods his head. "Bingo."
"Who has it..."
"Bingo..." Yukari says as she nods her head.
"Bingo..."
"Bingo."
Asuka sigh as she thinks she finally got her answer. "So I take the hand outs and give them to Bingo..."
"No." Yukari yells as she points to the desk in front of her. "You give to who..."
"Bingo!"
"All right..".
Still upset Asuka holds up the papers. "I give the papers to Bingo!"
"No you don't you give it to who!
"Bingo!"
"Say it that way!"
Asuka can't help but look at the crowed around her. "That's what I said baka!"
When Yukari hears a small chuckle she shakes her head. "No you didn't..."
"I said I give the papers to Bingo!"
Yukari is almost to the breaking point as small laughs are heard. "No you don't you give it to who!
"Bingo!"
Trying to hold back from bursting out laughing at her own joke, Yukari answers. "Yes..."
"I put the papers on this desk and Bingo gets it!"
"No you don't you give it to Who."
Asuka throws the roaster and packet into the air. "Bingo!"
"Then say it that way."
"I am saying it that way!"
Yukari looks behind her to see Hikari standing with a hesitant look on her face. "Sorry Hikari give me a second..."
Asuka on the other had doesn't care who watching, as she grabs Yukari and shakes her. "I give it Bingo!"
"Then who gets it!"
Finally fed up with Yukari she pushes her to the ground with the entire class laughing historically at Asuka. "He better get it!"
"Um Miss Souyu..." Hikari walks up to the raging girl who yells out.
"Dare gets the papers and gives it to Nari!"
Hikari slowly comes up to Asuka trying to get her attention. "Miss Souyu..."
A Nari gives it to the person next to him it will come around and be given to Shinji then to Naze then when it comes back around nazenara. It won't go to wakaranai because she's in 4-A..." Hikari picks up the roaster and shows it to Asuka as she whispers to Asuka that she has just been fooled. "AND!" Slowly Hikari's explanation to what Yukari just did nearly makes Asuka go rip out her hair. "And I'm going to kill you Zero!"
"Miss Souyu..." Hikari tries to hold back Asuka as she reaches out to Yukari.
"Your dead Zero!" Asuka pushes Hikari to the ground and goes for Yukari, but she is to fast as she gets up and runs past the crowed that is pointing and laughing at Asuka. Asuka pushes her way past the crowed and chases after Yukari.
Shinji watches as Asuka flies past him like a bat out of hell. He lets out a huge sigh as he watches her and Yukari run. "This is insane... so nice but absolutely insane..."
"And you have to work with them..." Touji points out as he shakes his head.
To be continued... Why is Yukari up an Evangelion?
This goes out to the two greatest comedians of all time...
