Still haven't decided how part three will be done…Hmm…I guess we'll see when I get there, won't we:)
Disclaimer- I don't own the Mighty Ducks.
Your eyes are different than I remember…more distant these days, it seems. I used to be able to stare into them and know exactly what you were thinking. I could tell at the drop of a hat what you were thinking…every flicker of emotion shining out. You were like an open book…but it's difficult to read an open book if it's always closed.
I can't remember the last time we made eye contact. At least a month. For most people, that's probably nothing, but for us…well, it is. We've always made constant eye contact, always completely open with each other. You've told me every problem that has arisen ever since we were young and I no longer had cooties (and vice versa.) You've been my confidant since before I knew what the word meant. Lately, though…you won't even look at me. You get quiet whenever I talk to Guy, clamming up and looking away. You've never done that before, and I can't seem to piece together what's going on with you anymore. I try so hard to spend time with you, but the mere suggestion sets you off into your new reclusive state.
I want to spend time with you. There is things I've been dealing with that I haven't had the chance to say…things that I can't exactly announce around the other Ducks, which is the only place I ever see you anymore. You refuse to be alone with me, and I can only wonder if it's something I did. Did I hurt you without even knowing it? What could I have possibly done?
Just when I think I know you, something happens that confuses me even more. Like that time I could have sworn you were staring at me, but when I looked at you, your eyes were locked on your lunch as if the very world depended on the precise movement of your fork from your plate to your mouth. When I asked you about it, you flustered out a reply and immediately declared that you had homework to do…which although I know was a true statement, the part of me that does in fact know you is very aware that while you did in fact have homework, you had no intention of actually doing it.
You've become this enigma that I yearn to solve. Guy tells me to just leave you alone, that you'll come to me about it eventually if you really want me to know. You're the only part of me he doesn't understand…the only part of me I don't think I really want him to understand. If he knew half of the things I've told you, I have no doubt we'd get into an argument. I've told you things that Guy will never know. You know more about me than anyone in the world, and I'm assuming I know more about you than anyone else…though with the events as of late, I can't be one hundred percent sure. Did you find a new confidant, and now you're just trying to phase me out?
The very thought makes my stomach lurch. The very thought that someone else could be hearing the secrets and complaints I was supposed to be hearing upset me. It upset me far more than it should. I shouldn't be planning ways to get rid of her (or him for that matter.) It shouldn't bother me.
But the truth is that it does bother me. It bothers me a lot. I find myself thinking about it when Guy's talking to me. My mind wanders to you when he kisses me, startling me into breaking the kiss, much to his surprise. I know it's not a good thing, but I can't very well help it. Although I like to tell myself that I'd talk to you about this if you'd let me, deep down I know I wouldn't. It would probably just freak you out more. Heck, I don't even know what I'd say or what 'it' is.
All I know is that a void formed when you set yourself apart from me. A warmth and comfort vanished. Something I can't seem to fill - not that I would ever want anything else to ever fill it.
I guess I just never figured a hole that big would be left over. As close as we've been, I never realized we were that close. It feels like these days, I'm just as dependent on you as I am Guy…maybe even more. He knows a lot of things about me; we, all three of us, grew up together after all. It's impossible not to. But there were some things I couldn't tell him. Not because he was my boyfriend, necessarily, but because he wasn't you. I don't feel as comfortable with anyone else in the world like I do you. You have a certain way of prodding at me just enough to say what I mean without making me spill more than I really want to. There's a confidence and leadership about you that makes me want your opinion…and the fact that you know me better than I know me allows me to trust you even more. It's like you're the other half of my mind, and I never realized it because it's always been me, you, and Guy…one unit, almost, but you kept yourself just distanced enough to keep our balance comfortable. You were never big on being the third wheel, but you did it anyway. You bowed out when we made you uncomfortable, and looking back, that was far too often. Now that you're gone, it's like I can't function right anymore. Is that why you're upset?
You're poking and staring at your piece of pizza a few seats down from me, and Guy's chattering absently with Fulton; I can't seem to place why you aren't engaged in any conversation at all. I can hardly count on my hands the amount of times you haven't been in the middle of table conversation. It's just in your personality. You're the friendliest person I know.
"Charlie," I suddenly say, your name rolling off my tongue before I can stop it. When you look at me, my insides leap, and my hope inflates. I jump to my feet and motion towards the arcade. It's been ages since we goofed off on these machines.
Your eyes instantly shoot back down to your plate as if someone had kicked you in your stomach. I watch you slowly shake your head with a focused expression; I can tell your hiding behind your new wall. The wall that separates me from knowing you.
I try to build me own wall in order to mask the crushed feeling that just washed over me. I should've expected it, but deep down I just want you to tell me what's wrong with you.
I see the spark of your blue eyes when you sneak a glance that you probably think I didn't see. You face slightly contorts again as you go back to examining your pizza. You've never been one to bottle things up from me…even when you hide things from the rest of the world, you always tell me so you don't explode.
Please don't explode this time. I need you too much.
Banksiesbabe99- Yay, my never-ending supporter:) I'm glad to be back. Life has been crazy, yo. And I am so behind on your stories, and I apologize, but I WILL get caught back up soon…I hope. Heh. Actually there's another C/C story I'm planning that's longer that I'm working on too, but this is an idea I got since I adore the couple so…even though this is kind of angsty. Meh. I'm glad, as always, that you liked it. ;)
Punkteacher- Thanks so much. :) It means a lot that you found him to be in character. He's my favorite character, and I adore him like none other, so I strive to do him justice. I'm not sure how long you've been the fandom, but if you like Charlie, I recommend SpikeytheHedgehog's "Defiance is a Hard Game," and (not to plug annoyingly) I've got several other Charlie stories, if you're interested. Some of mine were written awhile back, so I'm not sure of their quality, but oh well. :) Thanks again for your awesome review.
Katie- Thanks, dahling! I'm glad you liked it. ;)
Meme:fangirls Charlie/Connie:) Hee. I'm glad that you like it, and thank you for the sweet compliments. :squee:) Aww, you are an excellent writer too. :nods: Yes, poor, poor Charlie…those words are very true. Forbidden fruit does always taste the sweetest. Lol. The RPG teaches lessons like that. :P But I can't help but adore my darling C/C love…:hugs them: Thanks again, Meme:)
Nebula- Thanks:) Hee, you are pretty perceptive. Thank you again, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. ;)
Liz- Thank you Liiiiiz:bounces and squees:)
Adriana- I do remember you:) It's been awhile. :huggles back: Hehehe, "cloud seeding"? Sounds…:cough: interesting. :P I hope the story provided as a good break. :) Hopefully you weren't too bothered by it all. ;) But as you can see, the girl wasn't Julie this time. Tricked ya! Hee.
