Problem Thirteen: Is it hot in here...

The tweak of the birds the sound of morning traffic, goes by Misato's apartment. For many this is normal, but for Yukari, this is the first night with her new Guardian, Misato Katsuragi. In her nice soft comfortable futon Yukari stretches her arms and legs with a smile on her face. She looks to see that it is seven o'clock, just enough time for her to take a shower. She rubs her eyes a bit to gain focus then licks the back of her hand and then rubs the back of her hands on her cheek. Next she pulls her feet out from underneath her blankets to a thundering thud.

'Oh yea...' Yukari looks down to her cast leg. 'Don't need this anymore.'

Yukari grabs a knife and uses it to cut the cast off. With her foot free she pulls on it real heard till she hears a crack. Once down she wiggles her toes and jumps out of bed.

The only non-morning resident of the apartment is currently drinking her second beer as she is falling a sleep on the table. 'I cant get anything... What the hell did Yukari mean by Soul...'

"Morning Misato!"

Misato looks up to see Yukari skipping along with a bucket full of her washing materials. "What's up Yukari..." Misato goes to take another swig when it dawns on her. "Hey!"

After a few seconds Yukari pops her head out of the bathroom. She looks to Misato with confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Your foot is broken, how are you..."

"Oh that..." Yukari pulls out her left foot and wiggles her toes at her. "I was faking it."

With half a beer can worth of beer now all over the kitchen table Misato yells out. "What do you mean!"

"Fake, phony bogus, sham, façade, con, fraud, act, false..."

"Why the hell would you do that!"

Yukari looks down in sadness. "I wanted my sister to be happy... and she is happy with Asuka..."

This statement calms Misato as she sits back down. "You know Yukari, your pretty damn selfless..."

Yukari looks down the hall to Shinji's room. "I would do anything for the pilots..." With that said the bathroom cretins shuts


Luckily for the Pilots it is only a half-day today as it is also report card day. Everyone sits in their seat as the teacher addresses the class before dismissing.

"Now is that all the questions regarding the report cards." Silence is all that is heard the teach sighs and bows his head. "Miss Horaki... you may begin."

Hikari stands and goes to the front of the class. "Are we all ready for the class trip..." The class erupts into cheering. Also before Hikari can continue Yukari swings her hand back and forth to be called. "Yes Yukari..."

"If we aren't going on the trip are we dismissed, I have to feed Servo!"

"Oh..." Hikari thinks about it as Asuka snickers at Yukari. "Well I guess..."

As Yukari gets up and gathers her things Asuka decides to add her two cents. "What scared of a little water Zero..."

Everyone looks to Yukari to see if she can make a worthy comeback. "No..." Yukari waits as Shinji stands and gathers their things shortly followed by Rei. "We have to stay here and save the world so none of us are going."

"Suckers!" Touji coughs out with the laugh of the class shortly to follow.

Asuka looks around the class in anger. "Who said we can't go!"

Both Rei, Shinji and Yukari answers. "Katsuragi..."

"Damn it!"

Hikari rolls her eyes tired of Asuka's out burst. "Miss Souyu can you please leave I don't have you on the roaster."


The four pilots find them selves on their way home with Asuka in the lead.

"Good damn it Rei why didn't you tell me."

Rei doesn't even bother to looks as she speaks. "I thought you knew..."

"This sucks!"

Shinji sighs as he looks to Yukari. "So how good did you do?"

With a simple smile she looks to Shinji. "Just a bunch of C's and two A's."

"Your kidding..." Shinji scratches his head. "You're the smartest girl I know."

Yukari puts her finger on her chin in thought. "True, but I just want to look normal, I don't want to look smart."

Over hearing the two talk, Asuka slows down to be next to them. "That's not hard."

With a smile Yukari seem unaffected by the comment. "That's also true, but I still got an A in gym and Home Economics..."

Shinji goes over a sheet in his hand. "Next quarter is Music..."


Far from Tokyo 3 near mount Fuji Misato Katsuragi looks over the shoulder of a scientist as a probe dives deeper into the volcano. Everyone but her looks nerves as one of the alarms goes off.

"There's a crack on the front case..."

Misato does not divert her eyes from the monitor she watches as she responds. "NERV will pay for the damages..."

Soon a second then third alarm goes off before the picture goes dead. A technician shakes his head as he looks at his instruments. "The probe is lost..."

She is still focused on the image that was captured from the probe. Misato looks up to everyone in the room. "Everything here is now classified top secret! All personnel must remain here."


"Come on chicken!"

Asuka shouts as she treads water in the Olympic size pool in NERV's Rec- center. Her comment is diverted to Shinji as he sits at a table studying. With no response Asuka begins to become impatient as Rei swims by her doing laps. Shinji has chose to listen to his SDAT instead of heeding to Asuka's demands. As he studies his schoolwork Yukari comes up to him in her school swimsuit. In her hands is Servo resting against her chest.

"Hey Shinji..."

Yukari's sweat and sincere voice perks Shinji's ear as he looks up to her. "What's up..."

The girl slowly walks closer and places her kitten on the table, she watches as Shinji pets it as it goes by. "If you want to I can teach you how to swim... I owe you one for pushing you on that ship."

With a small smile, Shinji looks up to Yukari. "Thanks for the offer but humans aren't meant to float..."

"That's self-deception..." Yukari takes Shinji's hand and stands him up. "Humans aren't meant to wear cloths or build cities..."

The sound of someone exiting the pool has both Yukari and Shinji look over to see Asuka standing staring them down. "I see Wonder boy has a girl friend."

"Is that a challenge!" Yukari pushes Shinji back into his seat as she steps forward. "If you want him, come and take him!"

Asuka at first confused by the challenge but she merely shakes her head with a smile. "Please if you want him you can have him..."

"Oh I see giving up are we Asuka, I see your weak mindedness wins again." Yukari hisses as she points to the girl she speaks of, Asuka.

Not liking the threat from Yukari, Asuka steps forward. "What was that Zero! I will show you weak mindedness!" Asuka charges forward and grabs Yukari. "I can do anything I want!"

"Really..." Yukari holds her smile as she speaks. "Then why chicken out of the challenge!"

"I never!" Asuka yells at the top of her lungs.

With a stern look, Yukari pushes Asuka off and puts her hands on her hip. "Then challenge me, come on I dare you!"

Asuka points to her self with a smirk. "You dare me; you dare the great Asuka Langley Souyu!

"Double dog dare you..." Yukari crosses her arms returning Asuka smirk with one of her own. "Of course you won't do it..."

"What!" Asuka points to Yukari in anger! "You just hope I don't Zero!"

"Oh really!" Yukari points to Asuka. "You would do it!"

"Yup!" Asuka yells as she steps forward.

"Anything!"

Asuka points at Yukari. "Anything zero, I back down from no dare!"

"Oh really!" Yukari points to Shinji. "Then he's all yours!"

"Damn straight he's all mine!" Asuka yells out as she also points to Shinji.

"Then date him!" Yukari calls out. "I bet you can't!"

"Can to!" Asuka goes up and grabs Yukari by the straps of her swimsuit. "Is that a challenge?"

"Damn right it was!" Yukari grabs Shinji who sits in a daze at the argument. She then picks him up and hands him to Asuka.

"Have fun!"

"I will!" Asuka looks down to see she is holding Shinji hand. She looks to Shinji to see that his head is blood red. She then looks to Yukari who is now in the pool whistling, with Rei at her side with a disgusted look.

"That is so nice of you to take Shinji on a date!" Yukari calls out as she holds up a small device. "Oh and for nostalgia I recorded it, I bet the school would have a field day with this when they get back."

Asuka pushes Shinji back into his seat and turns to Yukari. "Damn you Yukari! If you think I'm going to take this baka out!"

"No, I know you will, because your reputation is bad enough, but if they find out you are a Welch then the heat is on."

Rei looks over to her sister with her mouth barely out of the water. "That's Blackmail..."

"Extortion is what I would like to call it..." Yukari says to her sister with a smile. "Your so called role model Gendo was a great teacher."

Rei has nothing to refute the claim. Before she can speak the Level 1 Alert goes off, and for the pilots this means one thing, Scramble. Leaving the pool and all of their belongings where they lay as they run to their lockers.


The pilots quickly change and go to the main briefing area were stand waiting is Ritsuko Akagi and Kaji. Both see the pilots coming in mind conversation.

"How dare you think that I'm a Welch!"

Yukari walks in wearing a Unit One Female plug suit and laughs a Asuka. "You said you never back down from a challenge."

"It's not my fault you tricked me!"

Kaji stands up to calm everyone. "Social lives a side, kids its time for work."

Next to speak is Ritsuko, who is less then enthusiastic. "Can we begin..." With everyone settle down and in their seats Ritsuko shows the pilots a picture of the egg shaped shell that holds the Angel. "This is our target; it is an Angel in a premature state about 1000 meters in to a volcano..." Only one pilot will be involved in this operation, one will be on backup and a third on stand by. The last pilot gets to sit in the operations tent and watch."

All the pilots look at each other then Asuka calls out. "I want to lead the operation!"

Ignoring her is Ritsuko as she continues to speak. The primary will be... Shinji, back up will be Yukari and standby is Asuka..." Ritsuko looks to Rei. "Sorry, looks like your staying behind..."

"It's of no concern..." Even Rei can't believe her own lie. In her mind this shows great concern as for a second time she is left behind, an A17 has been issued yet Gendo will not use her. 'Why am I betrayed...' Rei looks over to Yukari who is laughing and joking. 'It's her... It's all her fault...'

Kaji looks at all the pilots. "Don't worry theirs a reason for this selection..."

Ritsuko nods her head in agreement. "Thanks to the abundance of pilots and Unit Three will arrive next month, we can allow to cycle our pilots keeping you all fresh..."

"What are we, produce..." Asuka hisses as she crosses her arms.

"Nooo..." Ritsuko stares down Asuka. "The Eva's aren't here for your enjoyment; the commander wants all pilots to be able to Sync with all Evangelions. With Yukari here we will be able to cycle operation time so we don't burn you out... Also Shinji will have to pilot Unit Two, because it's the only Unit that can use the D-Type equipment."

"That's Stupid!"

Not pleased with Asuka's comment Ritsuko stands up. "It doesn't matter what you think, or would you rather be suspended again..."

Yukari raises her hands and speaks as sweetly as a girl can. "That would imply she tried to push me off the umbilical bridge in an empty cage."

Everyone looks to Yukari as if she was an idiot, Asuka merely hisses at the girl. "I should have done it to!"


In side Unit 02 that hangs of the crane that goes over the volcano in the D- Type equipment, Shinji Ikari looks around his blotted Plug Suit with a dual yawn. In side Unit Zero standing just to the side of the Volcano is Yukari She currently has her Unit going over files that seem to be taking her away from the mission. On the ground Misato talks to Ritsuko as they ready to lower Unit Two.

"Hows it feel to be in Unit Two... By your self..."

Misato's words seem calm and soothing to Shinji's ear as he looks down into the volcano's core. "Well... I kinda smell's like Asuka..."

"Pervert!" Asuka shouts out all the way from the cage as she sits in Unit One once more staring at Shinji's Vid screen. "You little freak! Well your Eva smells like five day old lunch meat!"

Before anyone can comment Asuka grabs her head in pain. She looks around the Evangelion feeling as if someone was with her. No one takes notice as she cringes and pulls out her sync clips ending the pain. 'Shit! Its like the Eva understood me...' Asuka looks up as she thought she saw someone out of the corner of her eye. 'Maybe Zero was right... Maybe there is some one in these things...'


"I'm still having problems with it..." Misato's Voice seemed cool and calm, as she goes over final paperwork. "Why start doing these switches, and why is Yukari permanently off of Unit Two, does have something to do with what happened the last time she piloted."

Trying her best to ignore her is Ritsuko as she two works on paper work. "Look I told you once and I will tell you again, she just saw a ghost of the Evangelion Image Drive computer, it's a AI you know."

With the same answered given Misato just goes back to her work. 'Why are you lying to me?' A random technician comes up to Misato and hands her a satellite phone after a quick conversation she turns to Ritsuko. "The JSSDF is ready, let's begin the operation."


In a sky car that are used for the tourist who come to see Mount Fuju, is Kaji. He is not as cheery in his body language as he talks to a mysterious woman. She looks almost like a bum as she blindly looks out at the view given to her.

"It is not a problem?"

Kaji turn and looks at the woman and sigh as he looks down to a briefcase under her seat. "The A-17 isn't the problem... It's the Zero child..."

"Well we know she is a fake, possibly some kind of experiment."

The comment lights the mood for Kaji as he chuckles. "No... NERV seemed ill prepared for her, but she is with Gendo everyday in terminal dogma."

"Maybe she is an upgraded model from the First child, maybe they didn't know they could build better..."

Kaji once more shakes his head and laughs before going back to his straight face. "This isn't NERV's Mendon operandi, it's to messy... I think she has her own agenda..."

"Possible, she could be a spy from the Angels... No one said they couldn't have spies..."

Once more he smiles and looks to his comrade. "No for some reason I feel that she is working for her self... There's something about her..."


"Yukari what the hell are you doing!"

Ritsuko yells out as she sees that Yukari is paying no attention to Unit Two just going into the lava. She turns to Ritsuko's Vid screen.

"I'm sorry doc... but I was just catching up on modern songs."

In the Mobile Command Unit, everyone nearly drops face first at such a comment. "This is a combat zone not the disco!"

Yukari minimizes the document and looks to Shinji's vid screen. "How you doing?"

"A little warm..."

Ritsuko nearly crushes her headset. "Are you ignoring me?"

"Ma'am!" Ritsuko pushed back by Yukari's scream. "He is a little warm ma'am!"

"Errrr..." Everyone looks at Ritsuko with a smile seeing she is angry with a teenager. "Can we get back on the Mission?"

A few minutes later Shinji finds him self nearly 600 meters under liquid hot magma. But her shows little feat as he holds the docking arms looking for the black egg he saw in the photo's.

"A hundred more meters..."

As an argument goes over the intercom system to lower or not Yukari pops up a vid screen to the side of Shinji.

"Hey Shinji... do you like music?"

Shinji keeps his eye on the monitors but still answers. "Well I guess... I used to play the cello..."

"Really that's awesome!" Yukari gives a big smile that lightens Shinji's mood. "I think I'm going to like singing..."

"Going?" Shinji raises an eyebrow to the answer.

"Yea I never have done anything with music!"

"Target in sight!"

Shinji closes his channel with Yukari and focus as the Egg seen in front of him coming his way. He confirms the target and open up the cage arms. Once extended Shinji carefully floats Unit Two over the target and captures it perfectly.

"Target captured..."


Shinji's words releases a sigh of relief from the NERV personnel Misato looks over to Ritsuko with a smile.

"I'm glad it's over..."

With a nod and the wipe of her brow, Ritsuko responds. "The tension was up there, I'm glad it let loss..."

Inside Unit Two Shinji looks over the egg in wonder. Never has he seen an Angel in this state, it almost looks innocent. A thought he never pondered before as he looks at the Angel. 'Its only a baby...' Shinji looks over to the Plug temperature to see it at 48.88 Celsius. "Man it's hot..."

"Theirs a hot spring near by..." Misato calls out over her channel. "Once this is down we will head there..."


Before Shinji can even smile at the idea alerts go off in Unit two. They all direct him to the cage that is holding the Angel. The Egg is know deformed and splitting as the Angel releases it self.

"It's hatching!" Shinji's alerts everyone as he releases the cage, and watches as the Angel rips free of his bonds and swims away. The Command center goes to combat alert as Ritsuko calls out Shinji's orders.

"You have to engage and destroy the target!"

Shinji quickly pulls out the Eva's Progressive knife and looks around blindly for the target. "I can't see a thing, switching to ST monitor!"

Still unable to see Shinji is blindsided by the Angel as it strikes Unit Two. With the target, know on top of his Eva, Shinji panics and strikes the Angel with his Prog knife only to break it over its back.

"Its too strong for the Knife!" Shinji cries as he pulls on the Angel to free him self.

With little effort the Angel over powers Unit Two and bites down onto the Eva's shoulder taking of the Evangelions left arm. As Shinji screams in pain over his COM Misato in the command center looks over to Ritsuko.

"How the hell is it opening its mouth in Magma!"

Ritsuko shakes her head in shock at what she sees. "The Angel must have been molecule strengthened through the Magma!"

Rei has been a fly on the wall in the Mobile Command Unit but she is the first to see Unit Zero with Yukari piloting it, begin to move. Before she can alert the Battle staff Yukari comes over the radio.

"Shinji, hold onto the Angel as long as possible!"

Everyone turns to Yukari's Vid Screen then to the sight of Unit two running down the volcano, stopping, then sprinting back up. Everyone holds their breaths as Unit Zero leaps off at the edge of the volcano and lands onto the crane that holds the coolant lines to Unit Two, Once on top she pulls out her knife and cuts the lines and holds on to the lines that extend to Unit Two. Inside Unit Zero Yukari opens a channel to Shinji.

"Lock you Plug pressure at its current level."

Shinji can only respond in a panic as the Angel is know biting Unit two's head. "I locked the pressure! Yukari please help!"

Yukari only smiles as she looks up into the air. "Lets fly!"

Everyone begins to feel the ground shake, in the command center they mistake it for an eruption before Maya calls out Unit Zero's AT Field status.

"Unit Zero's AT field is at maximum!"

Misato tries to keep her balance as she looks up to the screen that shows Unit Zero in curled up ready to jump, "What she doing!"


Unit Zero springs to life and flies up into the air with the explosion of her AT field propelling her skyward. The Blue Eva is nearly launched out of sight to the ground crew and just when silence comes to the volcano Unit Two and the Angel erupt from the Volcano shooting into the sky. Everyone exits the command center as Unit Two disappears into a cloud. Each person looks at each other just before a explosion rips the cloud apart. In the air, Unit Zero is on its decent and goes right into the explosion, as it comes out it cradles the massively damaged Unit Two in its arms Yukari flips her Evangelion so her feet are in front. Back on the ground, everyone sees the Evangelion incoming and runs but the Evangelion crash lands nowhere near the Mobile command center as it lands on the other side of the volcano.

The Evangelion rolls down the hill at brake neck speeds. Lucky for Yukari the houses and spas of the small town at the bottom of the mountain have been vacated. Unit Zero crashes into the first set of buildings. To save the rest Yukari pushes off with the Eva's free arm spring it over the small town and into a forest. It continues to roll down the hill until it hits a small lake in the valley below.

Back on top of the volcano, Ritsuko realizes what just happened and snaps her fingers. "It was the Bends!" Everyone looks at her with a question mark above his or her head. She looks around to see she needs to explain. "In water if a diver goes below a 100 meters he has to make a slow return to the surface to allow the nitrogen to leave his body..."

Maya face lights up being the next to realize what happened. "Of courses! If a diver goes up to fast, the nitrogen cant leave and the diver, he will suffer from nitrogen narcosis!"

Ritsuko and Maya smile at each other as they speak at once. "Also known as the Bends!"

Misato still does not understand as she looks over to Ritsuko. "What the hell happed to the Angel?"

"Oh..." With a point to the sky, Ritsuko answers. "The Angel imploded because its body depressurized to fast."

"Oh... that means its..." Misato looks up into the sky just as it begins to shower down the blood of the Angel. Its black like color covers everyone out side. However, no one goes for cover, not even Rei, as her blue hair turns black. Misato looks to Ritsuko as she spits out what blood she got into her mouth. "Why the hell does she have to make a mess when she fights..."

"She's a idiot..." Rei hisses in her cool and straightforward voice. She too must spit out some of the blood as it continues to rain the remains of the Angel. 'I... hate her...'

At the bottom of the mountain, Unit Zero trashed with both its legs broken and one arm broken. Unit Two fairs no better as it is Missing an arm, most of the D-Type equipment and its right leg is severed at the knee. Both Eva's are entangled around each other. Inside Unit Zero Yukari hums a tune as she regulates Shinji depressurization, and looks over sheet music.

"How you feeling Shinji..."

Inside Unit Two, Shinji Ikari is barely in his seat trying to stay comfortable in his ballooned Plug Suit, However his resent ride has made him less then okay.

"Yukari..." Shinji does his best to hold down his lunch. "Please... for the love of god... don't do that again... I don't even know what's up from down..."

Full of smiles Yukari nods her head to Shinji. "I guess humans aren't meant to fly..."

Shinji finally cracks a smile as he looks up to Yukari's view screen. "That's self deception..."
Next Problem... Anything Goes!