Problem Sixteen: Can love really exist?

Rolling on the ground in Misato's apartment, Servo does his very best to get to an itch on his back. Once complete the cat rolls over at the sound of a sliding door. Now at the edge of the entranceway to the kitchen, the black and white tuxedo cat's tale sways back and forth, as it rears its back up ready to pounce. His ears go back just as the wobbling feet of a warm blooded penguin enters into the living room. With out warning the small kitten pounces on the penguin. In shock, the penguin begins to squawk as the cat jumps on to his head.

The two roll on the ground until the much larger PenPen takes the cat by the hind leg and holds it at wing length. Servo is still looking for amusement as he meows and plays with his tail; PenPen walks into Yukari's room tossing the cat inside of the room, closing the door. Satisfied, PenPen wipes his wings of cat hair and walks to the kitchen only to be pounced on once again by the devious Servo. With a frustrated look, the warm water penguin picks up the cat and walks back to Yukari's room once there he reopens the door tossing the cat inside closing the door. The bird sighs as it shakes it head leaning up against the door.

"Good question..."

Yukari Ayanami sits in school with her usual audience of the three stooges and Hikari. All are eating their lunches out side at one of the many tables, meant for such a task. Shinji seems to reserve him self as he looks off into space. Touji is pigging out on his lunch, with Kensuke playing with his food. Yukari and Hikari seem to be the only one having a conversation.

With a hardy smile and a cute stare, Hikari gestures to Yukari. "Come on, its not a hard question..."

In response, Yukari gives her friend a light shove. "I never said it was... I just never gave it thought."

With out warning Shinji stands up and walks away from the table. Everyone watches as he walks to the side door to the school where Asuka has just exited. Touji watches with a sigh as he puts down his food. Hikari takes notices and lower her head to be eye level with him.

"What's wrong..."

Touji at first does not responded as he looks away in thought but just as Hikari is about to give up, he answers. "Its that exchange student, Asuka... I think she's playing Shinji..."

Everyone looks to Shinji and Asuka; Yukari turns to all at the table with her chopsticks in her mouth. "Naa... Asbuka tis wiss fall feo him." As everyone looks at her with a raised eyebrow she spits put her chopsticks. "If you're so worried why don't you find out?"

Kensuke points to Yukari. "That sounds nothing like what you first said."

Not far from the others, Shinji walks along side Asuka with his hands in his pockets. He watches Asuka's every step as he stares at her feet. She however does not take notice as she looks off in the distance. "How are you feeling..."

With a small sigh, Asuka looks to Shinji as he stares at his feet with no insurance about him self. "Fine considering."

"I'm glad..." Asuka stops next to a tree and sits down with Shinji still standing watching her. "I am glad to see you are taking care of Rei, you're a good person."

Asuka seemingly sighs not paying much attention. "She's my Friend..." Asuka pauses to correct herself. "She's my only friend..."

"I'm sorry..." Shinji sighs as he looks at the people in the distance. "Its so hard for me to deal with them..." Asuka looks up in question of his statement. "With people, Friends... I'm not good in crowds."

"I thought I was..." Asuka begins to pick at her lunch. "But thanks to Yukari everyone thinks I an idiot." Shinji brakes out laughing at the sound of Yukari's name. "What's so funny Baka!"

"Yet your best friends with her sister..." Shinji looks to see Asuka isn't amused so he stops laughing. "Look you might not like Yukari, but you have helped Rei so much."

"I have?"

Seeing that Asuka is oblivious to Shinji's reasoning has Shinji smiling once more. "Rei was all alone before you came, she didn't have any friends till you, she always seemed sad." Asuka only sits as she opens her bento not to hungry to eat anything as she rests her head on her knees. "Now she's blind... Doctor Akagi giver her only a thirty percent chance she will ever see again." Little does Shinji realizes that Asuka feels responsible as she grabs at the edge of her skirt and grips it till her knuckles turn white. "Only if..." Asuka stares off past Shinji, as she grows angry. "Its that stupid yellowed eyed bitches fault! She caused Rei to get hurt! It's her fault, I'm going to..."

"Only if I was their..." Shinji bows his head, as he to feels responsible. "I should have been their why did I not try to get into NERV."

At first Asuka goes to agree with Shinji but the pain he shows in his eyes looks real. Asuka cannot stand to stare at him so she barriers her head into her knees. "Don't be stupid, there was nothing we could of done."

With a reluctant sigh, Shinji looks off to the mountains on the other side of the city. 'Why do I feel so guilty...' Shinji looks down to Asuka to see she still has not touched her lunch, just then a thought strikes him. A memory longed forgotten but just coming to life. 'I wont to help her... I want to protect her...'

With a strengthened confidence, Shinji kneels down to Asuka's side picking up her lunch and string. "You should eat, it will make you feel better."

Asuka looks up about to bark at Shinji. However, his stare his gaze of sincerity and strength stuns her. Never has she seen this in Shinji, even in the battle with the Angel on the Over the Rainbow, he only should determination, never strength. She watches as Shinji picks up her chopsticks and takes some of the rice in the bento holding it up to Asuka's mouth. With a hint of a smile Asuka takes a bite from the offered food, Asuka quickly finds out the Rei is the better cook of the two.

"You know Shinji," Asuka speaks softly as she chews and continues when she swallows. "I would of never of thought you would show such chivalry."

With a light brush, Shinji's turns his gaze at the bento box in his hand so not to leer. "Thanks..."

Seeing Shinji start to shy away Asuka blows her hair up in the air. "Why wont you look at me."

Feeling somewhat bashful Shinji looks up and makes eye contact. "Well, if you haven't noticed we are being watched."

Asuka peers over Shinji's shoulder to see the spying eyes of Touji and Yukari. She only gives a devilish grin to Shinji. "So what..."

As if remembering that he just did something wrong, Shinji sinks down. "I'm sorry..."

"For what?" Asuka demands with an angry tone.

"I never gave you an answer..." Shinji reminded at what were his original intentions for talking with Asuka was. "I just sat their like an idiot..." With Asuka's attention, Shinji does his best to keep eye contact and not let his eye drift. "Even the other day when the Angel attacked you treated me to so much but I barely said a word..."

"Look if you just want to be friends that's fine." Asuka states with arrogance to Shinji's intentions as she takes her lunch from his hand. "I wasn't expecting you to answer, I guess I can't compete against Zero."

"Hey," Shinji grabs the box back from her as if it meant something to what was just said to him. Shinji stands up forgetting that he is being watched from afar. "I didn't finish... I... I... I'm..."

"Sorry!" Asuka stands up taking her bento back. "Is that all you can say wonder boy, you have been apologizing since you came up to me. Gee, thanks..." Asuka walks away in a torrent of anger.

Visually upset is Shinji, as he stands in the same spot and same position as before unable to move. "I'm in love with you..."

His whisper falls short to all but Yukari who stands behind Touji hiding around the corner of the building. Kensuke points with his camcorder out from the hiding spot to capture the moment. Hikari sways back and forth, as she feels for the moment.

"I don't understand!" Yukari turns to her friends unable to comprehend what happened. "What just happened."

Waving he hand in the air like a fan Hikari smiles. "It was like a romance graphic novel, how romantic."

Everyone gives Hikari a strange look as she now bites on her thumb imaging something. Touji looks around glad not to be the only one confused. "Umm... Class Rep, what the hell are you talking about?"

'Why wont you use my name!' Hikari yells out in her mind as she stares at Touji blushing. "Its just like in my romance Manga's... Shinji is unsure of his love as Miss Souyu, runs away upset over his silence... His silence is because he lovers her but fears to speak of it."

Still confused and a little upset that she does not understand Yukari goes over to Hikari and sniffs her. "I don't understand, your heart rate has increased and you are releasing some sort of Pheromone..." Still adrift in thought Yukari scratches her head. "I must get my hands on one of these..." Yukari holds her hands up to put her next words in quotes. "Romance Graphic Novels... And find out what she means and why she acts the way she does."

The girl goes running off on all fours leaving Touji and Kensuke with the Love struck Hikari. Touji looks to Kensuke as he does the same with his camcorder still attached to his head.

"What the hell just happened..."

'Silence, it is all that I hold now, all I can share, I see more clearly now as I stare into the never ending void of darkness, I see what others cannot see I see what others can never want to see, a painful and despicable lie that is my life, I... I...'

Rei Ayanami lays on the floor of her apartment hallway she wears her hospital garment and with fresh bandages rapped around her eyes. She rubs her ankle in pain as she looks aimlessly feeling with her other hand until she finds her school satchel on the ground. She takes hold of it and shakes her head as she goes to her knees. With anger she has never shown before she tosses the bag down the hallway smashing it into wall emptying the belongings all over the place. With a simple sigh, Rei stands back up using the wall as a guide.

"This is frustrating."

With in a few minutes Rei reaches her destination, the bathroom. She slowly enters into the room releasing her grip from the wall slowly walking to where she thinks is the toilet. Her aim is off just by a foot as she stubs her toe on a cabinet. As she stumbles back in pain, collides into the back wall knocking over the towels off the selves above her, onto her head.

"Shit..."

Rei feels around to see the mess she made, unwilling to move, she can only shake her head as she grasps one of the fallen towels.

"I'm worthless, why hasn't the commander disposed of me yet..." Rei grips the towel tightly twisting it tout. "He has his precious Yukari! He doesn't need me!"

Slowly Rei rests her head on to the bathroom wall and curls up into a ball. Unable to see she can only think to her self as her thoughts torment her with conflict. 'Yet, it is not the Zero's child's liability.' Rei tries to calm herself using everything she can do to return to a less emotional state. 'I am obsolete, it is my own inabilities... I...'

"Need to go to the bathroom..."

With the reasoning of why she left her bedroom to begin with back in her mind she crawls her way to the toilet being as careful as possible as she sits her self up in it, lowering her pants and undergarments.

With a sigh of relief, Rei finishes her business and cleans herself before heading out using the wall as a support. She enters the hallway and makes her way to her room, when she steps on a pen that fell onto the floor when she tossed her school satchel. Rei quickly raises her foot and grabs it remaining balanced by hopping on her good leg. This doesn't last long as she steps onto a pencil braking it, sending the wooden fragments on to her bare foot. The pain is to much as she stumbles to the ground rolling to a stop when she hits the wall.

"This is very frustrating..." Rei mutters as she lays on the ground in pain.

The familiar sound of the door, opening Rei can only star upwards as she hears Asuka entering into the house. She only has to wait for a couple of seconds before the pitter-patter of Asuka's feet make her way to the hallway where she lays.

"Ho god! Rei are you alright!" Asuka takes hold of Rei and looks around to see the mess on the ground from Rei's satchel. "What happened?"

"I fell..." Rei mutters as she clings onto Asuka's arm happy to be among her presences.

Giving a small chuck before helping Rei stand, Asuka brushes her friend off and straitens her clothing. "You think..."

"Yes, that's what happened."

The straightforward answer has Asuka laughing again. "I will forgive you for recognizing the obvious." Asuka takes Rei hand and walks her into the kitchen. "Are you feeling any better."

"No..."

There is a small pause, and Asuka lets go of Rei's hands. Silence returns to Rei and she at first stands waiting patently to feel Asuka's hand once more but it doesn't come she feels around in the air but there is nothing.

Panic instills and Rei begins to walk forward. "Asuka..." With her first cry unanswered, she turns around in circles as she backs up desperate to at least hear her friend. "Asuka!"

"Rei!"

Just before Rei falls over a chair Asuka races from the bathroom diving to the ground catching her before she struck the ground. Before Asuka can say anything Rei clings to her burring her face into Asuka's shoulder. She does not move or speak she holds her tightly. Even Rei is at a loss for why she holds her; all she does know is that she feels safe. It was a stupid thought and she knew it but it was the best way she could describe it. She held her blank face as she finally gained the nerve to release her roommate who gasps for air.

"I am sorry." Rei slowly pulls away staring at the floor. "I did not intend for that to happen."

"Its okay..." Asuka takes Rei hand as she stares into the bandages that cover Rei's eyes.

She reaches out to touch them. At first Rei pulls away but when the warm hand of Asuka's touches her skin, she relaxes and lets Asuka slowly remove the tightly raped bandages. Once more Rei greeted with silence; only the touch of Asuka's hands keeps her calm. For Asuka she removes the final bandage and lets the cotton balls fall to the ground in shock at what she sees. Rei instinctively opens her eyes to feel the cool air strike them. Asuka shakes her head, as she stares into the blood red balls that are know her eyes. There is no contrast in her eyes, just a red ball sitting on a white plain.

"They're looking better." Rei knew Asuka was lying but did not feel the need to bring it up she simply stood there with and emotionless gaze. All she knew was that she was worthless. "I bet you will be seeing again in no time."

Once more Rei knew Asuka was lying, and she knew she was doing it to make her feel better. But reality for her was all she could focus on. "I am worthless... I have no use."

It was uncanny to think Rei meant what she said; Asuka shook her head as she took Rei into the kitchen and sat her down. "Your not worthless Rei, I mean you will see again."

Not expecting Asuka to understand Rei gives a small sigh. "I have no use to NERV, I should be destroyed."

Asuka has never once seen Rei so cruel to herself, she has seen her say stupid things, but for Asuka she thought that she just did not know what to say. Right now, however Asuka only felt cold unadulterated belief from Rei.

"Come off it Rei!" Asuka slams her hand onto the table upset to hear Rei's defeat. "What about us, theirs more then just NERV and the Eva's you have a life to live."

Only able to look in the direction of Asuka's voice she tries to look in that direction. "My life is irrelevant with out NERV, with out the Eva's."

Unable to stand such defeatist talk Asuka shouts. "Am I irrelevant too Rei! What about after NERV when all the Angels are gone then what!"

"Instrumentality will occur and man will become what the commander wishes it." Rei speaks with a cryptic tone. "For which my soul purpose in life was to initiate Third Impact." Rei knew what she was saying she was told never to say, but for Rei she felt her death is warranted and did not care anymore.

"What!" At first Asuka can only think, she is lying, but Rei never lies so this has to be the truth. 'Right... I mean why would she say something like this.' Asuka stares at Rei in shock. "What do you mean start third impact? No I wont believe it!" Asuka goes over to Rei taking her hands and grasping them. "I don't want to die! I don't want you to die!"

"What..." Before Rei can finishes, Asuka rushes out of the apartment crying. For Rei she left alone once more. She thinks to herself trying to remember if anyone has said that before. 'Never...' Rei stands looking around the room just to remember no one is around. "I don't want to... die..." Rei grabs her head as if she just had a migraine. "I am a idiot."

Misato Katsuragi enters into her apartment with a warm smile, however she greeted by her beloved PenPen who holds up a bag with the foul remains of cat shit. Before she can take it out of his wing, he drops the bag on the floor and hobbles off pissed.

With a small sigh, Misato calls out. "Yukari, your cat craped in PenPen's fridge again!"

There is not reply as she takes the bag and walks into the kitchen to see Shinji making dinner and Yukari laying on the ground wearing one of Shinji's shorts and shirts, with her cat on her head. Misato glances at what she is doing to see she is reading a romance graphic novel.

Seeing that everyone, even Yukari is in a normal Evangelion pilot mood Misato goes to the fridge pulling out a beer. "Yukari your cat crapped in..."

"I don't get it..."

Her interruption only makes Misato shake her head as she tosses out the bag. "Shinji, what's for dinner?"

"Rice, steamed vegetables and pickled fish."

Smiling at the food just told to her, she takes a sip of her beer. "Sounds good."

"Well, it came to mind after I read something Kensuke got from a friend in the States."

Misato looks at the back of Shinji as he continues to cut up vegetables. "How did something from the United States have anything to do with what we are eating?"

"It was a story this kid wrote, based off some..." Shinji pauses as if knowing Yukari was about to interrupt.

"I don't get it."

With out even a second thought Shinji continues. "Based off of some Manga or something, and every time the characters eat it was western food, or for some odd reason, they wouldn't eat anything from Japan unless it had bento or Teriyaki in its name."

A small chuckle from Misato is given before she speaks. "Well..."

"I don't get it."

The older woman glares down to Yukari before finishing her thought. "Well people from the States don't know what we eat."

Shinji gives a shrug of the shoulder as he puts the freshly cut vegetables onto the grate that sits on top of his rice cooker. "I thought it was stupid, bento isn't even a dish it just means box lunch."

Feeling Shinji's pain Misato leans back in her chair taking a second swig of her drink. "Well leave it to the Americans to not google a damn Japanese meal or something."

"I don't get it..."

With the roll of her eyes, Misato stands and gets another beer before standing over Yukari with her hands on her hips. "What don't you get!"

Yukari hands Misato on of her many graphic novels from her bag she then points to the one in her hand. "This is supposed to increase my heart rate, and make me release odd smelling pheromones..."

Misato looks at the cover and shakes her head at the name. "Kano Kano... I read this when I was a kid."

"Really..." Yukari jumps up still with her cat on her head. "Then maybe you can explain what is making these Characters fall in love, and why other girls in my school heart rate increase and release pheromones."

Reminded of what happened as she was walking to her apartment, walking as in that she has no car to drive, she saw Asuka on the rooftop. "Hey Shinji, your girlfriend was on top of the building looking really sad, maybe you should go see her." The sound of silverware hitting the ground has Misato spinning to see Shinji running to the doorway. "Damn it, I meant that as a joke, finish my dinner!"

"Have Yukari finish it!"

"But theirs always cat hair in the food when she cooks!"

As Shinji runs up the steps, he rips off the cooking apron just before slamming the doors to the roof open. He franticly searches the rooftop until his gaze meets Asuka's. The two can only look at each other. Shinji does his best to regain his breath as he tries to keep eye contact with Asuka.

Shock turns to anger in Asuka's eyes as she stares down Shinji. "What do you want wonder boy!"

"I..." Unable to gain his breath Shinji bends down. "I'm..." He looks back up with compassion in his eyes.

Determination to let his feelings to be heard was all he prayed for. He coward when among friends but, not now, it was only them only him and Asuka nothing to stop him, but his own weakness. Nevertheless, he was not going to run, all that he has experienced brought him to this moment. Yukari has given him strength to speak his mind even if he is all alone when he does, he felt he has to tell Asuka. She saved his life she is the only person to have touched his heart. The easiest way is the hardest. Yukari was right, he knew he had to confront his problems and the first one was Asuka. He looks back up to Asuka with all of his life force put behind the three words he wants to speak. He grasped his chest as he declared his feelings for Asuka.

"Asuka!"

Shinji falls over as all his built up energy is bowed to bits by the whispering voice of Rei. He sharply turns his head to see the crimson Red orbs for eye glow faintly in the sunset. He watches as the fragile young girl slowly walks forward staring into nothingness.

"Asuka..."

She calls out a second time, but Shinji need not to look for Asuka as she runs over top of him cradling Rei in her arms. For the young boy that watches he can not understand what he sees. 'Are they...' Rei presses her self against Asuka yet she does not cry she does not show anything they just hold each other. Still frozen he watches as the to leave Asuka shepherding Rei off the roof and down the steps completely ignoring him as they pass.

'Cold... That knocked about eighteen years of my life.' Shinji sighs as he stares up at the orange, yellow, and pink skill of a summer sunset. All of his energy went into what he wanted to say and walking seemed out of the question after a backfire like that. 'Are they... Shinji shakes his head as he thinks. 'Stupid thought, Shinji man... Well when was the last time I was like this... oh... yea I forgot about her...'

Next Problem... A Flashback and the glitch in the Yukarix...