Bittersweet Promises
Kakei Jubei had sworn by the blood that flowed through his veins, by the breathe that passed through his lips, by his own pathetic existence, that he would protect Kazuki Fuchoin. He had promised he would protect Kazuki from all the evils that crawled through the world and threatened him. But there seemed to be only one thing threatening Kazuki. Jubei.
Jubei had done it again. Jubei had hurt the person that he had sworn to protect. Time and time again he said things and done things that seared great pain into the beautiful man. This time it was something so trivial. Kazuki had gone home late and when he arrived Jubei had just lost it. He had cursed and spewed so many dreadful things. A red and embarrassed Kazuki had stalked off to his room after exchanging heated insults with Jubei.
Why? Why did he have to be such an overprotective and inconsiderate jerk? He cared for Kazuki, there was no question about that. But why was it he was always hurting the person that meant the world to him? In his mission to protect Kazuki he was reduced to an overprotective idiot who wanted to keep Kazuki bound by ball and chain. When did caring for someone involve hurting them?
Jubei shook his head trying to forget all those silly thoughts. He, the man of honor was going to eat his pride and swallow hard. He slowly walked to the locked door of Kazuki's room. He took a deep breathe and with all this humility knocked on the door. He pressed his ear to the door and listened closely for any sign that Kazuki heard him. When he didn't hear a rely he sighed deeply and slowly dropped to the floor. Jubei sat with his back to the door while his stare was fixed at the ceiling.
"Kazuki, I'm sorry," Jubei announced painfully to the door. If there was ever one time in his life that he meant the word sorry it was now. Really all he wanted to do was protect Kazuki. That was all he ever really wanted, to protect the person that meant the most to him. He hated himself for being so stupid. He hated himself for hurting Kazuki. He hated the fact that he always made matters worse instead of making them better. Now he was sorry that he thought that he could ever be good enough to be Kazuki's protector.
Jubei continued to talk to the door behind him. "I know what I that I don't deserve to be your protector. I don't even deserve to be in the same room as you and breathe that same air that you breathe. I mean how could I ever think that someone as pathetic as me would be able to protect you. Kazuki I promised to protect you from anything that would harm you. Yet there is only one thing that's hurting you and that's me. So I will do what has to be done. Kazuki I think that you'll be better off if I wasn't here anymore." If protecting Kazuki meant that he had to leave then he was ready to make that sacrifice. It was so cliché to say that he would do any for Kazuki, but in reality he really would. The love he felt for that beautiful man meant more to him than his life. If he could he would have rather died a thousand times then see Kazuki unhappy. Yet he knew that the only thing that was making Kazuki suffer was himself. So if that meant he had to leave then he would.
He picked himself off the floor and he was just about to leave when Kazuki's door opened. Kazuki was staring at Jubei the expression on his face was anger but there were also tears in his eyes. Jubei and Kazuki stood silently for a while. Kazuki tried to control his heavy breathing while Jubei couldn't even move. Suddenly Kazuki rushed up to Jubei and wrapped his arms around the man. This time he didn't hold the tears back, he cried in his protector's arm. Jubei out of shock couldn't bring himself to do anything but softly pat Kazuki's back.
Kazuki continued to embrace Jubei and lets his tears fall. Finally he managed to choke back some tears and speak. "Kakei Jubei you're the stupidest man I have ever met. Your such an overprotective, inconsiderate jerk. But even if you are I would never want you to leave. Maybe your too stupid to see that I need you. I need you, Jubei. Don't leave me." Kazuki cared for Jubei whether he believed it or not. It was true that countless times Jubei's rough nature had hurt him, but it was also true that despite the man's many faults he had brought light into Kazuki's life. He knew that under that coarse exterior that Jubei cared for him and he usually just wanted the best for him. Eventhough sometimes they fought and exchanged heated words he would never want Jubei to leave him.
Kazuki cried into Jubei's arms for what seemed like an eternity but finally Jubei worked up the courage to speak. He leaned in and whispered softly to Kazuki. "Kazuki, I won't leave you. Your that most important person to me but I just want what's best for you. I'm sorry for even thinking about leaving. I just thought that maybe you'd be happier without me. But if you want me by your side then I'll be by your side. I can't promise that I'll never hurt you again but I can promise that I will never leave. I'll be your protector as long as you will have me. Even if I am a pathetic excuse for a protector. You'll be safe here, Kazuki. You'll be safe with me because I'll protect you. I'm your protector." Jubei would do anything for Kazuki whether it was leaving or staying. Since Kazuki needed him and wanted him to stay then he would stay. He would stay as long as Kazuki wanted. Jubei would make sure that Kazuki was always safe. That he would always be safe because of his protector.
Kazuki eventually stopped crying but he didn't let go of Jubei. He would never let go. He would always feel safe in the warm embrace of this man, the man the had promised him everything. No matter how many faults Jubei had, no matter how many times they fought he would never let go of the person that meant the world to him. Kazuki needed Jubei. Kazuki needed his protector.
