I'm back so that you all may enjoy another chapter of ff8 just plain wrong.
I still don't own ff8 or anything else portrayed herein.
First a couple of author notes here.
1. In chapter 3 squall speaks elvish in asking me to kill rinoa so he and kitty are the only ones who can speak it. ( for now ?)
2. Selphie and kitty speak cinomed eugnot of demonic tongue I take what ever they say and flip it backwards.
That is all for now.
Chapter 5 mazes and rinoa's demise
Squall : bout fuckin time!!
Right anyway we rejoin are tale as our heroes enter the town of galbaria.
Kitty : so where does this general live at anyway?
Squall : zell you seem to know everything so where's the general's house?
Zell : uh I don't have a dam clue.
Rinoa: three blocks down and to the right.
Squall : how the fuck you know that.
Rinoa : he is my father
Squall ( breaths in ) : fffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Squall : great now I know why you needed us so bad you wanted us to help with your daddy issue, well were not Jerry f'n Springer. ( storms off )
Selphie : I'd say he took that well.
they make there way towards the mansion only to find out they must prove the bravery by getting a number from the tomb of the unknown king .
Zell and kitty are pick to go and find squall and go to the tomb, they come upon squall at the car rental place sitting on the curb muttering to himself and smoking a joint.
Kitty (zell) : I'd better talk to him first ok
Zell : ok
Kitty : squall mankoi naa lle sinome ( why are you here )
Squall : mankoi lle Irma sint ( why do you want to know)
Kitty : amin dele ten' lle ( I'm worried about you)
Squall : it's rinoa
Kitty gives squall a buzz saw kick to the head
Squall : what the hell was that for ?
Kitty : Your pouting just because rinoa I hate her too cause she really is fuckin annoying, BUT AT LEAST I TOLRATE HER, SO GET UP OFF YOUR SAD ASS AND LET'S GET TO THE TOMB!!!
Sqaull weakly : yes mam
A/N ( in the elvish speaking parts you notice that lle shows up a lot because in elven context the word lle is used commonly for you and do sorry if that confuses anyone.)
Now while at that was happening zell just watched but when kitty got angry zell saw kitty in a new light.
Zell (kitty) : I love you!
Kitty backhands zell : back off couch boy.
Zell: but she (the couch ) means nothing to me.
So our heroes rent a car a drive to the tomb, at the tomb they see two girls running out.
Girls : float
Squall : ok right.
They enter the tomb.
Kitty : what's that smell ?
Squall : don't but it reeks like dead ass in here.
Zell : wow shiny object ( sword on ground ) # 420
Squall : hell yeah sounds like a good time to me
Zell : notice how the author always seems to use pot humor.
Kitty : that's because he is a pot head
Nick appears ( public service announcement ) Smoking weed is bad mm'kay just look what it's done to my brain.
Now on with the story They walk around and the find the statue.
Statue : kill all who enter RAH!!!!!
And let the battle begin
Kitty : twisted soul ( her limit break )
She swings the chain sickle wrapping it around mintours neck and swings him into the walls a few times then takes out her staff pulls mintour in to her stabs bout 10 times rapid fire then swings him back into the far wall spins the staff then sticks through the chain and into the ground Kitty: runyalanta gonea and a meteor swam hits mintour killing him.
Mintour : bastards I'll be back.
Kitty : well that was fun
Squall and zell ( bow down ) were not worthy , were not worthy
Kitty : I know but I like anyway.
So they walk around the tomb for a bout a hour lost
Zell : squall were lost what do we do.
Squall : well...gets interrupted by kitty
Kitty : smoke a blunt and wander around .
Squall : sounds like a great fuckin idea to me
So they do and the eventually find a way to the center tomb.
Mintour : I got my big bro with me now.
Minitour : these beat you impressive but now die
Kitty: I grow tired of you ( mintour ) and she throws her spear into his gut and she then says : bragollach en' templa and mintour explodes form the inside out leaving only a black mark and his big ass club.
Minitour : ah shit
Zell grabs minitour and folds him into a ball puts him on the ground and hands squall the big ass club.
Zell : ( in announcer voice ) this is a huge drive for squall he should break slightly to the left.
Squall rears back : FOUR !!!
And smacks minitour through the roof and to god knows where.
They leave the tomb and head back to galbaria.
Gate guard : well
Squall : 420
Gg : correct this way.
In the mansion they meet rinoa's dad and he explains the mission and takes them through the parade path.
Back at the house they get there teams together
sniper team : squall and Irvine
Gate team selphie , zell, and quistis .
Kitty : what about me?
Squall : you stay with rinoa
Squall and Irvine leave.
The gate team is about to leave when rinoa comes into the room wait guys I got this pendent that suppress' the sorceress powers.
Quistis where did you get it.
Rinoa : out of a box of fruity pebbles
Zell : out of a box of fruity pebbles then it's got to work.
Quistis : this isn't a game you stupid bitch
They leave kitty and rinoa.
Kitty you stay here I'm going to get something to eat ( leaves )
Rinoa : it's not a game ( leaves )
Gate team comes back Quistis : rinoa I'm sorry I... where's rinoa Kitty walks in.
Quistis : kitty where's rinoa? ( door locks )
Zell : aw crap were locked in no.
So they try to think of a way out kitty gets board and decides to mess with zell.
Kitty : lova handasse
Zell starts doing the French tickler un controllably while kitty laughs her ass off .
Selphie : kitty let him go
Kitty waves her hand and zell stops dancing and falls down onto the arm of the statue and open the trap door and they head into the sewers.
Meanwhile the sorceress is giving her speech and she kills the president and then rinoa shows up behind her.
Irvine : squall look it's rinoa
The sorceress the hits rinoa with an energy blast.
Squall jumps up : YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS finally it happens ( does a happy dance )
Irvine : dude that's cold
The parade starts and Squall and Irvine make there way towards the clock tower they get to rinoa.
Irvine : sad way to go don't ya think
Squall : I guess so .
Rinoa : where am I
Squall : NO DAMMIT NO YOU WERE DEAD I WAS FREE DAM YOU HAND OF FATE WHY ?
Irvine : cool your alive, well lets go
So they go into the clock tower and our gate team makes it out of the sewer in time to close the gate as the clock rises.
Squall : IRVINE SHOOT .
Irvine : I can't do it.
Squall ( pulls out his gun blade ) IRVINE IF DON'T SHOOT RIGHT NOW I WILL CUT OFF YOUR BALLS!
Irvine shoots but it's blocked
Squall leaps off the building into a car speeds to the gate and hops up on the float.
Squall : seifer!
Seifer : nice to see you remember me it is time for you to taste my blade. ( charges squall ) Squall side steps him and stabs him in the back then turns around to get hit by an ice spear in the chest and fall off the float.
What will happen now the only way to find out is to stay tuned to ff8 just plain wrong again.
Read and review you know you want to so just do it come do it, do it
And if you want the story behind the couch joke e-mail me and I will tell you.
