A BANANA A DAY

Chapter 1: Bath robed Girl

By: Pink Neon


RIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGG!

Sparkling eyes of gray blue opened and flashed n irritation. A hand slowly crept to the bedside table where it hit the snooze button of a small alarm clock. A slender body rose up from the mass of thick, deep purple comforter and moved around the brightly lit room.

Pale skin like the moon, straight ebony black hair and long eyelashes stared back at a girl of nineteen. A yawn escaped her pouting lips as she lowly picked up the brush on her dresser and combed her long hair.

Half awake, with zombie-like movements, she went to the bathroom connected to her room and stripped, carelessly discarding her dirty clothes on the floor in a mess. She dipped her foot in the bathtub and smiled groggily.

Good. The water's hot enough. She happily soaked inside the tub, feeling the hot water burn her skin. It was a pleasing sensation that simply relaxes her tired muscles. An hour ago, she woke up, courtesy of her elder brother Seth, in order to fill the tub with water and then slept again. So it was to her surprise that the water was still hot.

She, unlike other people who bathe in cold water in showers, wanted it hot, just like those in hot springs in Japan. Being a body conscious, vain girl, she loved to follow all sorts of regimens to ensure her beauty. That is one reason why she usually spend a few hours or so everyday in the lavatory or at the spa or parlor.

As if she wasn't spoiled enough. Her parents were very wealthy and quite famous in their respective fields, her father being a high-ranked politician and her mother a successful businesswoman. So if she were to be asked what else in the world she wanted, it would never be money. She had enough gadgets, clothes, food and cars to spend her a lifetime.

Her thoughts wandered to the dream she had last night. Someone was calling her name over and over again amidst the white background and as time passed, the voice gets louder and louder. Then, the scene changed and she found herself in a prison, with four men. She couldn't remember their faces at all, but she felt some sort of thing pulling them to her. Maybe they were some long lost relatives or friends. Or perhaps some deceased people who have some last minute messages before going to the afterworld? She did not know. And it didn't help matters that it wasn't the only time the strange dream appeared to her.

Damn. I should've paid more attention to psychology class. Slowly getting out of the tub, she dried her body with a towel and put on her black bathrobe. It was her favorite because the black made her skin look whiter and paler. Contrary to most girls, she didn't like being tan. According to her, it made her look like coffee. And she bloody hated coffee.

"You'll be late for school, you know."

Annoyance flashed in her eyes. "I know," she snapped as she searched her drawers for a sign of her lip gloss. Then she froze. Wait a minute! Seth's voice doesn't sound like that! She turned around and did a double take.

There enough, near the doorway, stood the strangest woman she had ever seen. Well, at least she thought she was a woman, judging from her long wavy black hair and slightly revealing white dress that clung to her body like glue. A smile was tugging at the corner of her red lips. There was also this brightness that seemed to be coming from her.

"W-who the hell are you! And what do you think you're doing in my bathroom?" Fear was quite evident in her face. She figured this was another one of those kidnappers who wanted her for her parents' money. And she sure as hell doesn't look like one of the new maids.

"I'm Kanzeon Bosatsu," the woman told her, eyes sparkling.

"Kan-what? That's the weirdest name I've ever heard! Well, weirder than my name, that is!"

"In English, it's translated as Merciful Goddess."

She laughed, momentarily forgetting her fears. "What on earth possessed your mother to name you that! You're one heck of a weirdo," she said.

Kanzeon smiled again, a creepy smile that says "Something's gonna happen". "So, how's life?" she inquired.

The girl rolled her eyes at her. "Oh, puh-leaze! Don't go all shitty on me. If you're as well going to kidnap me, go ahead and do it fast. If you don't mind, I want to be home by dinnertime. They cook fettuccini on Fridays, you know. And don't worry, Daddy pays faster than you can say 'GO'!"

"You think I'm going to kidnap you?"

"Well, duh! But if you aren't, I request you do. I really don't want to go to school right now. I have an Algebra test that I don't think I could pass," she replied. If there's one thing she hated more than crabs, it would be Math. She completely sucked at that specific subject.

"Do you hate school?" Kanzeon Bosatsu asked.

"What a question! Of course I do! In fact, if it weren't for my parents, I wouldn't even be attending that pathetic place," she said bitterly.

"Then you don't mind if I take you to a place far away from school?"

"Oh, for the love of God! Didn't I give you permission to kidnap me already!"

Kanzeon laughed. "Are you sure? Because once you say yes there's no turning back."

"I'm positive! I'd do anything to skip Math!"

"Good. I'm afraid your help will be much needed. Say hi to Konzen and the others for me."
"Wha?" Those were the last words the Goddess spoke before a light so bright hit Hades Greich and she felt like falling and being sucked by some unknown gravity. Literally.

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Sha Gojyo was a normal half-breed. He did not consider himself crazy. No one called him crazy. Nor was he placed in places were crazy people dwell. Although he knew his companions were crazy, especially the great Sanzo, he believed that they did not affect his state of mind that much. But now the time has come for him to be put to the test. For the first time in his life, Sha Gojyo doubted if he was indeed normal.

"Oy, Goku."

The young boy, who a moment ago was staring blankly at the passing scenery, looked at Gojyo with intense golden eyes. "What, water sprite?"

"I think I'm going nuts."

Goku grinned. "You think?"

"No, I'm serious here, monkey boy. I'm having a vision of a beautiful girl in a bathrobe lying on my lap. And oddly enough, she feels real," Gojyo said.

Goku blinked and his eyes widened in shock. "Go-Gojyo! I see it too!" he exclaimed.

"Then maybe you're mad too," Gojyo slurred.

"S-Sanzo! H-Hakkai!" Gok shouted.

The two remaining companions on the front, who were enjoying the unusual silence from Gojyo who haven't gone to annoy people and Goku who haven't said "I'm hungry!" a dozen times like before (this has something to do with Sanzo's gun and his temper. Go figure) turned their attention to them. Hakkai gasped when he saw the girl while Sanzo merely glared.

"Is she an angel?" Goku asked, peering at the girl with curiosity.

"No, I don't think so, Goku," Hakkai told him.

Just then, the lady stirred. A pair of marvelous gray-blue eyes stared back at them. She took a while in observing the jeep, the sand, the heat and the people surrounding her. "Ahhhh!" she exclaimed when she saw the position she was in with Gojyo. She hastily leapt to her feet, her finely shaped eyebrows connecting in confusion. "Who-who are you!"

"We could ask the same of you," Sanzo drawled. And soon, the barrel of a dangerous looking gun was pointed on the stranger's forehead, making her more nervous.

The girl's eyes widened. She was speechless.

"I said, who are you?" Sanzo said, getting annoyed at the girl's silence. "Are you another one of Kougaiji's assassins?"

The stranger laughed; a pleasant sound like the tingling of bells. "Assassin? Are you kidding me? I haven't even touched a gun in my entire life! Well, assassins are pretty cool, so I'll take that as a compliment."

Sanzo's violet eyes narrowed.

Hakkai looked at him. "Sanzo, I don't think she's from Kougaiji's. She's human and Kougaiji most likely hires demons to do the work," he reasoned.

The stranger looked at them as if they just sprouted another head. "Demons? They're not real! There's no such thing as demons! Who are you guys? From the moon?" she said, amusement in her voice.

Goku looked lost. "Huh? Of course demons are real. In fact, I'm a de-" Gojyo stepped on his foot in order to keep him from talking. "Ouch! That hurt, you perverted water sprite!"

Sanzo stared at the weird girl as he pocketed his gun. She was unlike any woman he had ever seen. She was probably not from here, judging fro her clothes and her attitude. He had never met anyone who haven't heard of demons or thought them as myths or folklore. Unless of course she was lying, which he didn't think she was.

On the other side of the jeep, the stranger was thinking the same exact thing. These guys sure don't look from LA. Just look at their weird clothes! And who on earth rides a car like this one? Hmmm…maybe they're from the circus…

"So, miss," Hakkai began, keeping his cool, as usual. "Let's assume you're not from around here. Can we ask you some questions?"

The girl nodded.

Gojyo leaned in, deciding the moment he saw her that she would make a kissing partner, and whispered in her ear, "Can I kiss you?"

The girl looked at him. "You're sick!" Then she looked Gojyo over and smirked. "On the other hand, you look kinda cute…So let me think about it."

Gojyo smirked back. "Take your time," he said, flashing her the trademark "I-want-you" smile.

"Oh please," Goku said, rolling his eyes.

"Ahem! So…" Hakkai said. "What's your name?"

"Hades Greich. But feel free to call me Hae."

The four guys looked at her.

"That's the weirdest name I've ever heard!" Goku said.

Hades sighed. "Don't think I don't know. You see, my mother has this odd fascination for Greek Mythology and when I was born, she named me after the first person that came to her mind. And surprise, surprise, it was that god."

"She named you after a god?" Gojyo asked dubiously.

"Yes. The God of the Underworld," Hades said, scowling. Why not the Goddess of Love instead? Speaking of Goddess, memories of a certain someone came crashing down on her. She gasped. "Goddess…! Oh, I remember!" she exclaimed.

"Remember what?"

Hades nervously fiddled with her ring. "I remember what happened to me a while ago! I was just finished taking a bath when this freaky woman appeared in front of me, starting to ask all sorts of questions," she spoke.

"Go on."

"And then, she asked me if I would like to go somewhere far away from home and I…I…Oh, I can't believe it! I said yes!" Hades groaned, cursing her stupidity.

"You agreed a stranger to take you away?" Sanzo looked at her as if she was crazy.

Hades sighed yet again. "Well, I thought she was another one of my kidnappers! I mean, how else can she get into my room unnoticed?"

"Why would someone kidnap you?" Goku asked.

"Because," Hades said exasperatedly, "my parents are famous and rich. They want their money."

"Oh."

"And then what happened?" Hakkai asked.

Hades tried to remember. "This blinding light surrounded me. But before that, the woman who looked like a man told me, 'I'm afraid your help will be needed. Say hi to Konzen and the others for me'." She said. "Whoever they are."

Hakkai had a sneaking suspicion how this girl Hades came to be. "Sanzo?" he asked quietly The blonde nodded his head. He knows. "Hades? Is the woman you saw called Kanzeon Bosatsu?"

Hades' eyes popped out of their sockets. "Oh my god! Yes! Do you know him? I mean, her? Can you help me find her?"

"Well, I-"

"Is someone looking for me?"

All five almost had a heart attack. Well, all except the composed Sanzo, that is. Kanzeon Bosatsu smiled at them. "Long time no see," she said as she took a seat beside Goku. How the hell they could all fit in one jeep remains a miracle.

Sanzo was about to release his wrath on the Goddess but Hades beat him to it, her figure towering, eyes blazing. "Now listen up, you woman who looks like a man! When I say kidnap me, I didn't say drop me into a place full of weirdos who believe in demons and have absolutely no fashion sense! It hasn't even been an hour but I can practically feel my skin melting at the heat! What is this place? The Sahara! And don't give me that smile of yours or I'll wipe it off your ugly face! I want answers and I want it NOW!" she said all these in one breathe.

Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai gaped at her. Even Sanzo looked quite amazed. "Wow. Quite the fighter, eh?" Gojyo said. "And I'll have you know, this bandana is absolutely stylish."

"I believe I also need an explanation," Sanzo growled, his gun pointed at Kanzeon Bosatsu. Behind him, Hades gasped.

The Goddess smirked. "Go ahead. Shoot me."

And Sanzo did. A loud BANG was heard, together with Hades' shriek. She didn't freak out because of Sanzo's gun but because of the fact that the bullet just passed the Goddess' face. So she really isn't human.

The Goddess chuckled. "You just enjoy shooting me, do you, Konzen?"

Hades scowled. "What! So this blonde's Konzen, the one I was talking about? Why didn't anyone tell me!"

"I'm not Konzen!" Sanzo said through gritted teeth.

"Then…who are- argh! I'm getting more and more confused! Would someone care to explain everything that's happening right now?" Hades said, feeling as if she'd be sick.

"I will. Things tend to get boring when you lot are confused," The Goddess said.

"Ok. So first question, why the heck am I here? And what is this place?" Hades asked at once.

"That's two questions," Goku told her.

Hades ignored him.

"Didn't you say you'd do anything to avoid school? Well, here's your chance. And besides, watching these four from above is getting pretty boring. So I decided to add you to the group. By the way, this is Tougenkyo."

Hades was stunned. "Are you trying to tell me I'm here for nothing! I'm no guinea pig you can just te-teleport or something! And where the hell is Tougenkyo? Japan!"

Kanzeon Bosatsu smiled. "No. You're in another world, Hades Greich," she explained.

"WHAT!"

Hades wasn't the onlyone who shouted.

"I didn't know you were capable of bringing people from other worlds, Kanzeon Bosatsu," Hakkai said, quite shaken at the sudden revelation.

"Of course I can, Tenpou. Although the process could be a little tiring…"

"So, what exactly am I going to do here then? What about my parents? They'll be worried!" Hades said.

"That will be taken care of. You are now officially the fifth member of Sanzo's party. You will join them in their journey to the west and stop the resurrection of Gyumaoh, a powerful being who took many lives in the past."

Hades' jaw dropped. "Holy shit!" she exclaimed, allowing her brain a few more seconds to process the heavy information. "You're sending me to die! Hello! I'm only nineteen! I'm no Lord of the Rings material! I don't know anything about saving the world and playing hero!"

Gojyo grinned. "Alright! A chick on board!" he said.

"Do you know how to cook?" Goku asked hopefully.

Sanzo was not too happy with this. "I'm not taking any burdens around! I have enough dealing with these three and going to the west!" he snarled, his facial muscles hardening.

But to everyone's surprise, again, the Merciful Goddess was already gone. Sanzo furiously shot at the air.

"Damn you old hag!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

To a girl who was pampered since the day she was born, it was almost impossible to adjust and fit in around a bunch of misfits who each have a story of their own. The cute brown-haired guy with the most heart-melting smile she had ever seen, and who she later on found out was named Goku, simply made her laugh at his silly antics and his occasional saying of "I'm hungry!" Not to be left behind was the enigmatic Gojyo who enjoyed torturing Goku a lot. She at first thought that his red eyes were only contacts but later found out that they were real. Next was Hakkai with his green eyes and trademark smile. Hades wondered how he always seemed to be unfazed whenever Goku and Gojyo bicker. And lastly, there was the blonde monk Sanzo. Of all the four, he was the one Hades hated the most. He barely talked and was always frowning, yelling, pointing his gun and beating the two men at the back with his infamous paper fan. Hades wasn't even sure if he knew how to smile.

Too bad. He's quite handsome. Hades thought, smiling.

"What are you smiling about? Thinking of another way to trick me?" Sanzo said, glaring at her in the rearview mirror.

Hades smirked. Ever since the Goddess left her under these guys' care, she had taken the liberty to be the most annoying person in Sanzo's eyes. She couldn't blame herself, for he was the one who started the "fight", by calling her stupid and a burden. So far, she had already received twenty threats and sported several bruises, much to her displeasure. But it was all worth it anyway. "As a matter of fact, Goldilocks, yes. Got a problem with that?" she said sweetly.

Sanzo just Tch-ed. "Just shut up," he growled.

Goku abandoned his fight with Gojyo. "Who is Goldilocks, Hades?" he asked.

Hades grinned. "Oh, Goldilocks is someone from a famous bedtime story. See, she is a little girl with golden yellow hair, just like Sanzo's. Perhaps you'd like to hear that story later, Goku?"

Goku's eyes lightened. "Really? You'll tell me a story? Yay!" he exclaimed, jumping with joy. "Did you hear that Sanzo? Hades will tell me a story!"

Hakkai looked at Hades. "You love kids, don't you?"

Hades smiled a faint smile. "Not really. It's just that…I never had a little brother or sister…That's one thing my parents couldn't give me," she said softly, allowing the wind to blow her raven black tresses.

For a while, there was silence. Goku and Gojyo had stopped arguing and had resolved to be lost in their own thoughts. She squirmed in her seat beside Goku and decided to annoy Sanzo again. "Hey Goldilocks, can I ask you a question?"

Sanzo glared at her. "What?" he said irritably.

"I was just wondering...exactly how old are you?"

"It's none of your damn business," Sanzo replied curtly.

Hades grinned. "I'm guessing you're already 42. Am I right?" she teased, enjoying the expression on Sanzo's face.

A vein throbbed on Sanzo's forehead. "Shut up," he snarled.

"So you are 42?"

"No," Sanzo grumbled.

"Really?" Hades said, feigning shock. "Why, I'm so sorry! But I thought…with your wrinkles and droopy eyes…"

"I said shut up!" That was the final straw for Sanzo. He threw his fan and it hit Hades' head.

"Ouch!" Hades exclaimed as she threw back the paper fan at Sanzo, who just caught it easily in his hand like a boomerang. "Why'd you do that for! You're jealous of my face, aren't you, O Wrinkled One?"

"Stop calling me that, stupid girl."

The grin on Hades' face was now reaching her ears. "Then make me," she taunted.

"Would you two keep quiet? Hades, as much as I love you, babe, I can't stand the noise," Gojyo said. He had his hands on his head and his feet on top of Goku's sleeping form.

"And that comes from the guy who makes noise?" Hades said.

Gojyo just grinned. "You mean the most handsome and coolest guy ever?"

"Don't be too proud of yourself, cockroach," Hades told him, although she couldn't help but smile.

"Hakkai, how long until we reach the next village? I'm getting hungry," Gojyo asked. "Argh! Now I'm sounding like the monkey!"

Hakkai, who a while ago was preoccupied in driving, laughed. "Don't worry, Gojyo. In just a few hours, we'll be arriving there."

"That's good. I can't wait to see other people. I'm starting to worry you four would rub off of me. And I definitely need the change of scenery. Sanzo's droopy eyes aren't what I exactly call beautiful," Hades quipped.

If looks could kill, Hades would be lying dead on her seat right now. "Thank you for the praise, clumsy girl," Sanzo said sarcastically.

Hades blushed, possibly the first in front of Sanzo and the others. Although she knew Sanzo was just bugging her, she felt a little embarrassed. After all, it was true. She was very clumsy, as much as she hated herself for it. She would occasionally break her mother's antique vases, or lose her father's important documents, or trip on her way to her locker.

"You look cute when you blush," Gojyo said, smiling seductively.

Hades blushed more furiously. "I'm-not-blushing!" she exclaimed as she threw Sanzo a death glare.

"Oh, but you are," Gojyo teased.

"Whose side are you on?" Hades snapped.

"My side," Gojyo said.

"Humph," Hades said, sulking in her seat at the feeling of defeat. I'll get you for this, you bald monk.

A few minutes have passed until Hades actually found a good insult for Sanzo. By this time, Goku had already woken and had demanded food right away, only to be shut up by Sanzo.

"Hey, guys?" she said.

"Yes?" Hakkai asked.

"Why does Goku like Sanzo so much?"

Hakkai and Gojyo, of course, knew why. But feeling Hades was planning something, they decided to humor her. "I don't know."

"Because Sanzo looks like a banana. And well, monkeys love bananas, right?"

Silence.

Then Gojyo was the first to dissolve into bouts of laughter. He clutched his laughing stomach and nearly cried. Hakkai followed soon. Goku looked clueless.

Sanzo, on the other hand, was far from laughing. He was red in the face and there was fire burning in his eyes. That was enough to make him so scary the others stopped laughing.

"What. Did. You. Say?" This quiet approach of his was by far his deadliest expression, promising death to whoever came in his way.

For a second, Hades thought of backing off, but she immediately pushed these thoughts at the back of her mind. "Nothing, banana head."

Goku blinked. "Banana? But Sanzo's the sun!" he said, clearly confused.

Now it was Hades' turn to laugh. "S-sun? Hahahaha!" She laughed so hard it hurt.

That was enough to make Sanzo erupt. He took out his gun and shot Goku. "Shut up, you stupid monkey!"

Goku ducked a passing bullet. "But Sanzo!" he whined. "I didn't do anything!"

Sanzo ignored him and pointed his gun at Hades, who was shouting, "Oh no! He's gone mad! I repeat: Banana head had gone mad! Everybody, run for cover! Call the mental hospital! 911!"

"Eek!" Hades exclaimed as Sanzo's gun nearly killed her. "Stop it! Banana head! I mean, Sanzo! I said stop it! At least let me die in my own world!"

Hakkai chuckled. "It sure is a peaceful day out here," he told Gojyo, who looked incredulously at him.

Beside them, the gunshots and screams continued.

This is going to be a long night.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

A/N: Hey everyone! Please forgive me for this extremely weird fanfic. I'm in a very hyper mood due to the over consumption of chocolate…But I decided to post this anyway…So it's alright if you curse me to hell and back….I really don't mind!