Title: Lost part II

Author: Phaelas

Pairing: Alexander/Hephaistion

Rating: G

Author's notes: Jumps in right after the ending of Lost part I.

Hey Gabo0, thank you for your reviews! I explained a lot about this fic and why it's written like this in my livejournal, soyou could visit that (the link is my 'homepage') if you want to know what moved me. It's not so strange you are confused, since this fic is different from my others, but I personally feel it has more meaning than the others as well. I hope enjoy the new chapter, and thanks again!


Hurried steps took Alexander away from the campfire, as he surrounded himself with the darkness where Hephaistion had just disappeared, stumbling through the camp. "Hephaistion!" he called softly, being sure he wanted no one to hear that, no one to witness the broken soul of their king, but being past the point of caring all the same.

Was it possible for someone to disappear as the ghost he had seemed to be? But the tingling feeling of his forehead told him that if only for a moment, this person that understood – everything… - had been real. "Hephaistion!" Tears burned behind his eyes, his breath coming in short pants. He had awoken and was in this world again where he had never wanted to be, he'd better not be left alone after the other had mercilessly made him feel like this…

And he had nothing to call upon but a person he did not know.

"Hush, Alexander!" Hephaistion was suddenly behind him, a warm hand on his shoulder that turned him around.

What was he doing to himself? What was he doing to Hephaistion? "Stay!" he poured out helplessly. "Please, stay."

"Stay? As what would you have me stay, Alexander?"

The words pulled Alexander back down to earth. To say 'a friend' would be denial of what they both knew. A lie unlike all others, because once, they would both have claimed it to be the truth. But the truth was not that kind to either of them. And if they were not friends, why ask for this?

Alexander looked up to the other man's hidden eyes. "As someone who understands."

As Hephaistion let silence stretch out between them once more, Alexander closed his eyes and bowed his head, while slowly rubbing his frowned forehead.

If only he could just disappear from the world as his hope had done. It all mattered so little now.

Hephaistion's hand moved down to his elbow and gently tugged.

They returned to the place by the fire where they had stood only moments ago, but it was different, if only because Alexander was very much aware of the comforting touch. Maybe it could keep him away from the spinning of the storm.

When a gust of wind tugged on their hair, Alexander's let his head fall back, air filling his lungs. He smiled. "Would you go away with me if I asked you, Hephaistion? To find the end of the world, the great sea? Leave them all behind?"

"You know I would." The statement hung in the air for a moment, then Hephaistion whispered out: "But you're not asking me that."

It nearly scared Alexander how truthful the other's words were. He could not take that path.

His face sobered. "I'm a broken man. Will I lead this army one step further, in whatever direction? What strength is left in me after this?"

Hephaistion surprised him by suddenly pulling his arm away, and then turning to him, his eyes fierce. "You're a broken God, not a broken man."

Alexander let the words sink in slowly, his eyes never leaving Hephaistion's. That this man was the one to offer him another chance, a chance to just be a man again… "No mortal man can rule alone."

The silence was painful.

This would be the end. But only these words, followed by again being alone, would offer him no comfort. If he had never given any friendship - he needed it now.

Finally, Hephaistion cocked his head to the side, and replied softly: "And you cannot rule me."

Alexander thought the other would walk away, but Hephaistion just kept looking at him until Alexander looked away himself. What were the right words? Apologizing would be a mockery of everything they had been through. It had never been unfair, so much as unfortunate.

Alexander hardly had to look up to understand he was not the only one lost. He leaned forward and pulled the other man to his chest. Hephaistion's arms wrapped around him.

"Why?" Alexander spoke, trying hard to control his voice. "Our dream is gone, what is left for you?"

He felt Hephaistion take a few short breaths, then the other's soft voice reached his ear. "I once knew a boy. I wonder what has become of him."

Alexander remained silent, resting his head against a strong shoulder, his hands clenching the rough fabric of the other's clothes.

And life came to a halt. With eyes and thoughts now harshly removed from the horizon, there was nowhere else to be on this moment. The feeling was as new. Some sort of peace despite the loss of the world. If only he could hold on to this.