Disclaimer: You know the drill, I own squat, other than Professor Simms and that's nothing to be proud of. I don't lay claim and all that jazz.
Notes: This is a slash fic, if male/male relations don't suit your fancy then leave, now. The bit from the outer summary is in this chapter (finally I know). I will try not to do anymore cliffies because I as a reader hate them. Ooo and one more thing all of you who either want this to end up as a love triangle or want me to make Snape awful no such luck.
Summary: Sirius has a crush on Remus; someone finds out and uses it against him. Poor Padfoot is enslaved but finds out very interesting things about himself and those around him, things he never thought he could feel.
Kiliapele- I'm glad
Shadow Cat17- Thanks
Demonsblade- hope this satisfies some of your need, there will be more Siri torturing later. If you have any good ideas e-mail me
Empressofwhispers- a Venus fly trap, those are wicked. I have something along those lines planned, a little different. There will be quite a few 'incidences'.
Lily went to the shelves in the restricted section, which as head girl she could use, and ran her fingers over the leather spines. She finally came to the book she was looking for, pulled it off the shelf and walked back over to her table. She had read this book: Werewolf: the Life of a Gruesome Beast before in the second year when Remus told her what he was. It was extremely biased against them but was also very informative. The spine creaked slightly as she opened it to the index and then flipped the pages until she found the one that started chapter eleven. In her last reading she had skipped over this chapter in embarrassment but now it was the only one she intended on reading: Mating Habits.
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After finishing his dinner and telling his friends he had a date Sirius trudged as slowly as possible to meet up with Snape. What was the greasy git going to have him do? He was Snape's slave, he reminded himself, it could be anything. Then a disgusting thought entered his head: did he want Sirius as a sex slave? With that Sirius shivered and slowed even more.
"Black stop dilly-dallying in the halls," called a cold voice, followed by light footfall.
Sirius swore under his breath, Snape had caught up with him. He then turned heel and marched purposefully to the dungeons, Sirius in tow.
When the dark hall way ended they came to an empty classroom. Severus walked in, Sirius followed and the former locked the door behind them.
Sirius felt the butterfly-Olympics begin slowly in his stomach. He was locked in a room with Snape, who currently had full control over him. "I don't want to be your sex-slave!" he shouted desperately after he reached the point where he thought the butterflies would explode out of his innards.
"My you're conceded," Severus said lightly, internally holding back laughter; the look on Sirius' was one of such pure horror. "I'm quite strait and don't find you even mildly attractive."
"Then what are you going to do to me?" Sirius asked, regaining his outward composure even though inside he still hummed slightly.
"You are going to be my guinea pig,"
"Can't you just transfigure one from a slipper like we did in transfiguration? I'd really rather you don't turn me into a fuzzy rodent." Sirius said arrogantly. He never thought of Snape as one to have an odd fetish for furry critters, sucking their blood maybe.
"Guinea pig as in test subject."
"You'll be feeding me your potions?" Having someone who wanted revenge on him feeding him scary potions was not a calming thought.
"I have antidotes. You don't have any allergies to any chemicals do you?" Sirius shook his head 'no'. "Good, drink this," he shoved a vile of pink liquid into Sirius' hands, where it was just starred at. Do I really want to drink this? "I said drink it Black."
Sirius closed his eyes and downed the liquid with a quick swig. It tasted like the pastries at Madam Puddifoot's , much too sweet for Sirius' liking. A funny tingling feeling ran all over his face, making short stops at his nose, forehead and chin. He then heard Snape utter a spell, an anti-charm, one that would remove the charm Sirius currently had in place to hide zits.
Godric no, he's going to expose me blemishes to the world. Contrary to the gossip that buzzed around the school, Sirius did not have perfect skin he was just handy with his wand. He slowly opened his eyes to see Severus hovering over him with a clip-board and quill.
"Do you feel nauseous?" he asked.
"Of course, what do you think people are going to say if they see I have huge zits?" Sirius shrieked. He was blowing this out of proportion quite hugely as he had gotten off quite easily when it came to teen acne.
"Incredibly vain," Severus muttered, rolling his eyes and handing Sirius a mirror.
Sirius readied himself for the spotty face he tried to hard to cover up. Instead he was completely spot free. But Snivellus undid the charm. He then began grabbing at his face to see if it was an illusion, it wasn't. "My spots are all gone."
"Really," Snape dead-panned. He was paying Sirius no attention as he was documenting his success with enthusiasm, but being stoic in nature he didn't let it show outwardly. Once done he stuck the quill in his front pocket. "I know you have no attention span but could you stop squirming so I can have a look in your ear?"
"What do you want with my ear? It doesn't have any zits."
"Blackheads," was Serverus' one word explanation. "Good, good. None apparent." He whipped out his quill again and recommenced scribbling.
"I do not have blackheads in my ear," Sirius said indignantly even though he knew he did.
"You haven't anymore."
Sirius was about to argue when Snape spoke again. "You can pickle newts feet, right?"
"Of course." That was second year level work.
"Just checking. Don't know how you managed to get into NEWT potions, what with your dismal klutziness. Chop the feet off these newts, pickle them and sit them over in my ingredients case," me motioned to a large black suitcase. "Then you can leave for the night." With that he unlocked the door and left Sirius alone with the newts.
Pickling feet is an extremely disgusting process. The feet don't take well to being removed from the body and begin attacking. Since they are mostly harmless it is hardly dangerous but they tend to spray blood everywhere, then, when they are finally caught and forced into the jar they kick, spilling pickling juice everywhere. All in all Sirius ended up looking an awful mess. After the last lid was screwed on the last jar he opened the case and put them in, noting that Snape was not anywhere near low on newt's feet.
Cursing the other boy's name he scrugified his clothes half heartedly (not completely properly either), leaving the dungeons for the Gryffindor common room as fast as he could.
"So lover boy is finally back from his date," James said as Sirius joined him and the other Marauders at their table.
"Eww, you smell like pickling juice," Peter said, turning green. "Who was your date with, Simms?"
"No, I ran headlong into Snape on my way back to the tower," Sirius lied.
"Sooooo how was it?"
"How completely girly of you Prongs," Sirius stated.
"Look, you're the only one of us who is an active dater so I'm entitled to disgusting details. If it was a guy, leave out the disgusting." James explained.
"Didn't go well, not going out with them again. There, happy? Now we have that essay for Arithmancy, can you help me with mine Moony, please?" Sirius changed the subject as quickly as possible.
"Sure thing Padders" Remus said, putting down his book.
"Pete, how 'bout you and I go play wizards chess up in the dorm?" James asked, earning a quizzical look from Peter who complied anyway. They left, but not before James could wink suggestively at Sirius. The taller boy felt utterly embarrassed, hoping it wouldn't show on his face.
"Prongs is acting funny. Did you slip those 'special' mushrooms in his dinner again?" Remus asked, grinning.
"No, he is being odd on his own accord. One bludger in the head too many if you ask me."
"As beater that would be your doing," Remus teased.
"Oh yes my life goal is to turn James even further round the bend," Sirius said with dramatic mock-guilt.
They grinned at each other silently for an awkward moment. "Right, so how to use sine, cosine and tangent in levitating spells….."
I'm leaving on spring break tomorrow, no computer for a week, nooooooooooooo. I will update when I get back, I have the next chapter written, not typed mind you and I don't have time now if I want to get a decent amount of sleep.
Hope you liked it. Oh and now you can drop anonymous reviews if you so chose but senseless flames will be used to make my toast.
