Chapter 3
A/N: For those who've read Linwe Ringeril's review: we got it all sorted out, don't you worry. Let's just say that great minds think alike, right Molly? ;)
Also: Bluehazegrl, Buffynick, Verlita, Blackstars and Woemcat: thanks for your lovely reviews ! Same goes for the Dutch KM- fangirls ;) We'll continue writing, if all of you continue reviewing !
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The doors to the mess-hall swished open as the Captain, closely followed by her first officer whom she'd met on her way, entered the crowded room. They were both famished after a particularly draining day on the bridge.
After yesterday's outburst on the bridge, Kathryn was glad that today had proved to be somewhat better. No irrational decision-making, just a lot of…emotions and feeling sick.
Still, a hell of a lot better than yesterday. And right now, she was on a mission: food.
She glanced around then headed straight for the long line in front of the kitchen, where Neelix was busy filling the crew's plates with yet another one of his (in)famous culinary creations.
She had not forgotten his leolaroot stew and was curious about what he'd cooked up this time.
She handed Chakotay, who was standing behind her, a plate and they both patiently awaited their turn.
"Look at our chef", Chakotay whispered as he leaned in. "The look on his face. I remember having seen it before. It's the day he made me eat leola-root for the first time."
Kathryn chuckled softly. "I'm so hungry, I'd even eat my own shoes."
When he didn't respond, she made a half-turn and realised her remark bothered him. "That, Commander, was a joke."
He sighed and nodded. "Could be, but…", he leaned in again and lowered his voice, "you should eat more regularly."
"Well, today certainly went better than yesterday.." She interjected, but he continued.
"-and plenty of nutritional food. This can't be good for the…your health."
She waved off his concern. "I'll be fine. Just can't wait to-", she swallowed hard, frowned and inhaled deeply. "…..eat."
Kathryn didn't have to turn around to know that Chakotay was now probably frowning himself. "…Captain?"
The sudden feeling of nausea was so overwhelming she wasn't able to respond at first. There were only two more crewmembers ahead in the line and the smell of whatever Neelix had made wasn't making her feel any better.
Again, she inhaled deeply, hoping it would somehow make the nausea go away.
When it didn't and her hands began to tremble and her legs felt like they couldn't support her anymore, she made a run for it.
Kathryn Janeway suddenly spun around, shoved her own plate into Chakotay's hands and quickly marched out of the mess-hall, with one hand covering her mouth, the other clutching her stomach.
Surprised, Chakotay looked at the two plates in his hands and then at the mess-hall doors as they closed behind the Captain. Most of the crew members were either staring at him or the sealed doors.
Not knowing how to explain this to them, he too swirled around on the spot.
He had to restrain himself from not running after her but instead turned around with such speed he smashed into the young ensign standing behind him in line.
He dropped his plates and she hers and the white plates shattered into pieces as they hit the floor. Chakotay stared at the pieces dumbfounded and then blinked.
"….I'm sorry, I-"
With an apologetic look at the young ensign, who was staring back at him in shock, he quickly excited the mess-hall too, in pursuit of his Captain.
Concerned and alarmed, he took a left turn and marched his way through the hallway, not really knowing where she may have gone. What had happened? Had she gone to sickbay?
"Computer, locate Captain Janew-", he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her emerging from one of Voyager's 'public' bathrooms.
"No need, Commander." She shook her head slowly as she walked up to him. "I'm here and I'm fine."
He narrowed his eyes and took in her appearance. "Fine, you say? I recall a certain Captain making a run for it not one minute ago."
Kathryn sighed and nodded as she stood in front of him. She did feel a bit better after emptying the few remaining contents of her stomach into the nearest toilet. "Guilty. And I know that I look like hell. But I honestly feel better now."
His eyes nervously took in her dishevelled appearance. "What happened, exactly? Were you in any sort of pain?"
"No, no." She patted his shoulder reassuringly. "Just a little….evening sickness."
Chakotay suppressed a smile at her choice of words and shook his head. "I see. Maybe you should lie down for a while?"
"Lie down and do what?" She smirked. "No, I got it all out and besides, I have about a dozen padds to read and…" she looked up at him, noticing his worried frown. "I already stopped by the doctor yesterday."
"And?" He gave her one of his scrutinizing looks.
"And.. I'll take it easy?"
He nodded and a small smile appeared on his worried face. "Alright, I'll settle for that. For now."
Kathryn smiled her typical crooked smile and he had to admit that she did look 'like hell'. Her hair was a mess, her eyes didn't seem quite right and her complexion was ghostly pale.
"Just…let me know if there's anything I can do, alright?" He took a deep breath then added, "Kathryn?"
"I will." She lowered her voice as two crewmembers passed them. "I will, Chakotay."
He opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off. "Now, we have work to do. Padds await me….. and you", she arched an eyebrow, "have to clean up the mess you made."
Chakotay's eyes widened. "Captain…?"
She smiled, patted him on the shoulder for a last time and answered, as she walked away, "Wouldn't be much of a Captain if I didn't know what was going on, on my own ship, now would I?"
Chakotay shook his head and smiled. "And you'll be…?"
"Asleep by the time you're done." She stopped and smiled back at him. " Goodnight Chakotay."
"Goodnight Kathryn."
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A candle lit room and ambient music was the very last thing Kathryn needed right now. She'd just put up a convincing 'I'm fine, Chakotay, I'm fine, really'-play, but she felt sick and completely drained. Psychically and emotionally.
However, when she found all that and more when she entered her quarters, she was not in the mood to argue about it with whoever put it up.
No need to study quantum mechanics to figure out who was behind all this. The answer was obvious.
Q.
"Hello Kathy." She heard the familiar voice as he stepped out of a shadowy corner into the dimly lit centre of the room.
"Hello Q." she replied in a tired voice and walked straight into her bedroom, ignoring him and all the things he'd decorated her quarters with.
Q looked puzzled when he got no orders to restore her quarters into the original condition. She didn't even ask what he wanted! She'd simply ignored him! Him! Q! What was going on here?
He snapped his fingers once more and followed her into her bedroom. "Kathy, what's wrong? Don't you like how I decorated your place?" he grabbed her by the shoulders.
"I believe you know my answer." Kathryn told the omnipotent being as she turned away.
"I think I do." He shrugged. "But I've seen you look better than this. So…what's wrong?"
"You know damn well what's wrong." She snapped at him shrugging off his hands.
"Right…" Q fidgeted a little. "I thought we'd sorted all that out. I told you I was sorry, didn't I?"
Kathryn rolled her eyes. How very Q to say such a thing. "Don't tell me you came here to apologise again, because if you are, I'm not listening." She walked out of the bedroom.
"Very well. Will you listen if I said I came for another reason?" He decided to give up his attempts to get her attention with surprises and pranks.
"That depends." He heard from the other room. "It better be a good reason!"
Q sighed as he joined her in her livingroom-area. "I just came by to see how you were doing."
"Something tells me that isn't the only reason." Kathryn muttered and rubbed her temples as she sat down on the chair behind her desk. "What do you have up your sleeve today?"
"Usually, I'd say you're right." He lifted his arms and showed her literally what he had up his sleeve. Nothing but darkness. "See? Nothing up my sleeve."
"The fact that I can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there." She yawned and rubbed her neck with one hand.
"Kathy, you look so tired." He gave her a scrutinizing look, much like Chakotay's. "Are you getting enough rest?"
"Don't even try to lecture me about my health. I already get enough of that from the doctor." Kathryn glared at him then closed her eyes momentarily. The feeling of nausea wasn't as strong as before, but she still felt horribly weak.
Q put up his hands in defence. "Alright, I won't. But why can't you just believe me when I say I came over to see if you were alright?"
"Why wouldn't I be alright?" She leaned back and awaited his answer.
He shrugged. And answered. Too fast. "Oh! Well…I don't know, I just wanted to make sure. That you are, I mean."
"You know what happened on the bridge yesterday, don't you?" She really hoped he didn't. But he was, after all…..omnipotent. "Well?"
"Um…that depends." Q started. "If you mean your unfortunate first contact incident. Then yes."
And then he imitated her. She knew from the start that mistake would haunt her forever.
"Shove it were the sun don't shine!" Q smirked at her. "And then you proceeded like so;"
"Oh shut it Q!" she slammed her hand on the desk and shot up from her chair. "How dare you humiliate me like that!"
The sudden change from tired and uninterested to infuriated startled Q a little, but he managed to keep his a straight face. "Ah! There's the spunky Kathy I know and love!"
"Don't ever do that again. Ever." She pointed a threatening, trembling finger at him.
"Alright, but just so that you know: I like this 'you' a lot better. You're still here….." He trailed off when he saw Kathryn's thunderous face.
"Oh? Do you?" She'd gotten up and stared him straight in the eyes. "And I'm still here. Just sharing my body with a baby and a million raging hormones!"
Q had a sheepish grin on his face. "Why…yes…I know that, of course." He slowly backed away.
"So, again, why are you here?" Kathryn gave him a another threatening glare. She could feel a headache coming up and wanted Q gone. "Why, Q! To gloat? To imitate me?"
"To see how you were doing….. Honestly!" Q added in an attempt to convince her when he took in her non-believing face.
"You never do that."
Q nodded. "Why,……good point."
"I know." Kathryn walked towards her couch and sat down. "Just, leave…Q. I'm not feeling….I'm just really…" she didn't finish her sentence and let out a tired, frustrated sigh.
Q sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'm trying to be human here, Kathy. Please, let me sink down to your level and help you!"
"Help? Help?" Kathryn raised her voice, ignoring his insult. "I don't want you near me!"
Q arched an eyebrow. "Is that because umm...'all men are the same?' "
"What!" she repeated, incredulously.
"Well, it's just very surprising to me that you've even been giving good ol' Chuckles a hard time."
"I am not giving...Commander Chakotay a hard time."
"Ha!" Q laughed and threw back his head." You practically accused the man of mutiny, right there on the bridge!"
Kathryn dropped her head in her hands. Usually, she could easily take on Q, in any fight but she couldn't do it now. "I don't want to argue with you right now, Q. I just…I wasn't feeling very well. And Chakotay and I…..it's complicated."
"I know…" He lowered his voice and approached her. Q sat down next to her, took a deep breath then patted her knee softly. "It's been complicated the moment he was beamed aboard your ship."
Kathryn looked up in surprise. For once, Q had said something…that had made sense to her.
She opened her mouth to say something, but couldn't find the words.
"And," Q continued. "you're in a very vulnerable state right now, Kathy. And it pains me to see you like this…and even more because I'm the cause of it. So, like most humans do, I'll give you my advice whether you want it or not!" He half-smiled. "Take some time to yourself, figure it out. Decide if you want tattoo-….the Commander's support or not."
"My crew won't let me withdraw completely, you know." She said softly, but her response made clear she was considering his suggestion.
"I'm not saying you should isolate yourself! Become a hermit! No, no, no, Kathy! Just, be on the bridge when they really need you, take good care of yourself and take is easy."
Kathryn couldn't help but smile. It seemed like everyone was telling her to 'take it easy'.
"I think…I might actually listen to you for once."
"I hope you do." He nervously smiled back at her, then glanced around the room. "If we're through bonding, you know…on the human level…could we maybe discuss the nursery now?"
She closed her eyes and let her head fall back. "…………Q!"
"Alright, alright. Another time then." He stood up, winked at her and with a snap of his fingers, she suddenly found herself dressed in her nightgown lying in her own bed.
"What? Ooh, God….." She shook her head and closed her eyes, fighting an increasingly painful headache. "Goodnight, Q".
"Night, my dearest!" Q called.
The familiar popping noise told her he'd left and she sighed.
That incident on the bridge would haunt her for a long time. But it wasn't important compared to her present situation.
A baby.
Sure, she'd been a 'mommy' (as Q had put it) to this crew for almost 6 years now, but that wasn't the same as a helpless infant, your own flesh and blood. A young innocent being born in a galaxy torn apart by wars and destruction.
She glanced at her comm badge on her nightstand then reached out, held it in her hands and stared at it. Avoiding her crew for a few days would be difficult, but it could be done.
It could be what she needed after all. The past few days had been exhausting, but had not just affected her, but also her crew. Especially Chakotay who was going out of his way to help her. And it was even more exhausting trying to convince him everything was fine, when she felt so sick and weak.
Some rest was probably something they all could use.
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TBC - you tell us !
