Author: Arashi (marenski@hotmail.com)
Website: www.kenkaya.com
Author's Notes: Holy moly... I didn't expect to get such a positive response for this goofy little fic. I would have written this second part up sooner but I had midterms people. Gomen, ne? (I'm not a goober, am I Karina??) I'm on Spring Break now, so hopefully I'll have some time to write. (but not so much, due to nasty profs and papers that need to be written) The running commentary in the review section has me highly amused people. I've got some comments but I'll save them for the end. For now just enjoy part two. Okie dokie? Oh yeah, one thing to keep in mind while you're reading! (this note's especially for you, Jason M. Lee!) This fic is a parody and a nice big joke. I'm making fun of ALL the characters of Rurouni Kenshin. The cooler they are, the more I'm going to harp on them... I'm a huge Sano fan myself, and just look what I do to him! So I'm sorry about the Hiko stuff... just smile, laugh, and say to yourself "Arashi's just foolin' around". Now then, on with the fic.
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or Fruits Basket. But if JadeAnime does want to give me that Kyou plushie I'll happily accept it! And then that would sort of be like owning a piece of Fruits Basket... anyway... (Kyou-kun freakin rocks!!)
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Kenshin sheathed his sakabatou with a click. Lying fifteen feet behind him his opponent drew in one shuddering breath.
"What was that?" The man gasped.
"The Hiten Mitsurugi succession technique: Ama Kakeru Ryuu no Hiremeki."
"Ryuu no Hiremaki truly an attack without equal" The man struggled to sit. A painful looking indent traced from one shoulder to his opposite hip. From experience, Kenshin knew that the attack was enough to finish off any opponent, and though the man was still able to move, it was obvious that the fight was over.
"Souma-dono I am sorry I had to defeat you in such a way But I have no intention of killing you. However, I must insist that you stop your evil plans. Leave the people of Japan to their peaceful lives."
"Of course" His opponent managed to get to his knees where he promptly placed his hands and forehead on the floor in front of him in supplication. "I am defeated our plans are through we will trouble Japan no more"
"Thank you Souma-dono It has been a long time since I have fought such an honorable opponent as yourself I'm not sure what Saitoh has in store for you and your family, but I will be sure to put in a good word." Bowing his head politely, Kenshin turned toward the single exit. A thick fog of incense whirled around him as he passed into the dark hallway. A moment later, Kenshin stopped dead in his tracks. His defeated opponent had begun to laugh and it wasn't a very pleasant sound. Instead, it was the slightly maniacal laughter that only men of extreme evil or craftiness seemed able to produce. The former rurouni narrowed his eyes and turned back to face the other man.
"Battousai, you fool! Our plans are through because you have helped us fulfill them! The curse that has plagued our family for centuries is finally lifting! You happily provided us with the necessary subjects to transfer the curse upon! I hope you enjoy the torment! Battousai!!"
Before Kenshin knew exactly what was happening, the floor underneath his feet gave way and sent him plummeting into the unknown.
"Ow, Get off me dammit!"
Kenshin was somewhat surprised when the source of his soft landing started talking. "Sano? Is that you?"
"YeahWho else would it be?" The familiar growl of the ex-gangster was comforting in the pitch-blackness.
"Stupid question moron"
Kenshin and Sanosuke were both startled to hear the other voice from the darkness.
"Saitoh??? You're down here too!! What the hell??" Sano roared as he pushed himself up to his feet, displacing the former rurouni in the process. Kenshin plopped down onto the cold stone floor with a quiet 'oro'.
"What indeed" Saitoh's voice betrayed not a hint of concern. "It seems we were all tricked."
"Hah! So you're admitting you screwed up, hey?" Sano was ready to jump at any sign of weakness from the infamous wolf of Mibu.
"No sense in denying it we're all down in this pit after all"
A moment later, Saitoh struck a match, casting a soft illumination in the spacious room. As far as they could see, the room was empty except for the three of them. Glancing towards the ceiling, Saitoh made a simple comment. "Incoming"
A split second later, Sano was flattened underneath Anji, Hiko, Enishi, Soujirou, Aoshi, and Chou. The wind from the falling bodies blew out the match, tossing the warriors back into the darkness.
"Get yer foot outta my face!"
"Touch my cape, and die"
"It seems we've gotten ourselves into a mess"
"Don't touch me there!"
"Can't breathe"
The seven warriors attempted to disentangle themselves with very little success.
"Dammit Saitoh light another match... so they can get the hell off of me" Sano's muffled voice could barely be heard over the rest of the commotion.
"I'm not wasting another one" Saitoh huffed angrily. "I've got three cigarettes left and exactly three matches."
"Argh!! My eye! Somebody's damn sheath poked me in the damn eye!" Chou wailed.
"Ororororo Saitoh, maybe it would be for the best if you" Standing beside the pile of bodies, there was little the former rurouni could do to help in the darkness.
"Nope, not gonna happen though perhaps I could" A second later, another match provided enough illumination for the warriors to see by. Saitoh held a cigarette in his lips and cupped the match while he brought it to the end of his cigarette.
"Saitoh we can't see, ya bastard!! Stop covering the match!"
When the cigarette was properly lit, the former Shinsengumi pulled the match away and held it uncovered for the rest of them. "Stop your whining I couldn't very well let the thing go to waste."
In a matter of seconds, the unhappy men succeeded in separating. Lying on the floor, the ex-gangster was the last to get up. He slowly propped himself up on his hands and knees. "Ow ow ow you guys are too damn heavy"
Saitoh slowly held his hand in front of the match before making his important comment. "Incoming"
Saitoh's match burned out long before they succeeded in disentangling Yahiko, Yutarou, and Katsu from Sano. Once they were done, none of the warriors could convince Saitoh to waste another one but thanks to Katsu's handy bomb lighting flints and a pile of dried sticks, there was enough illumination for them to know they were stuck. A single hallway ran off from the room and ended in a solid brick wall. Other than that, there was no sign of an exit. Aoshi, Enishi, Saitoh, and Chou searched the walls while the others tried to think of a plan.
"Now what are we supposed to do?" Yahiko plopped down on the floor in frustration.
"The answer's simple" Hiko stood and pointed toward the hole in the ceiling. "We go out the way we came in."
"Nobody could get back up there!" Yahiko glared at the master of Hiten Mitsurugi. "Not even a damn monkey could climb back up that hole."
"Who said anything about climbing?" Hiko smirked and positioned himself directly underneath the hole. Crouching low, Hiko Seijurou the thirteenth pushed off and propelled himself straight up into the air. Everyone stood in awe as they watched Hiko fly up into the air and disappear into the hole. A moment later there was a loud crash and Hiko fell back into the pit. "Damn IT!" Clutching his head with both hands, the mighty Hiko Seijurou staggered around the chamber. "They sealed the tunnel off! We can't go out that way ouch"
"Not that the rest of us could have freakin' jumped up there anyway" Sano crossed his arms angrily. "Damn Hiten Mitsurugi master and his inhuman capabilities By the way now that we're stuck down here I might as well ask you guys something Did your opponents say something really weird before they dumped you down here?"
"Yeah now that you mention it" Katsu looked thoughtful for a moment. "He said something about a curse?"
"Hey, mine too I thought the guy was just psychotic." Yutarou commented.
Yahiko chimed in. "Yeah, my guy said the same thing said something about an age old curse that was about to be undone what a bunch of freaks"
"Hmmm" Saitoh walked back to the main group from his minor exploration attempt. "Do you guys smell something unusual?"
"What, you mean besides Sano?"
"Dammit Yahiko!"
"Yes, this is far more peculiar than the rooster-head's run-of-the-mill body order It smells like incense, perhaps?"
Everyone spent a few minutes putting their noses to good use. It was a long time before anyone finally detected the subtle hint of incense, and by that time, a low cloud of the stuff had started forming.
Anji was the one to finally break the silence. "I can smell the incense If I'm not mistaken it is one that used to be used for ancient rituals"
"What are these bastards up to?" Saitoh flicked the stub of his cigarette to the floor angrily. "Now I only wish I'd gotten the chance to kill my opponent before ending up down here"
Kenshin brightened up visibly. "So you didn't kill him? I'm impressed Saitoh."
"Hmph It's not because I wasn't planning on it I just didn't get the opportunity."
"Ororo"
The fog of incense around them grew thicker and after a few minutes Saitoh began coughing.
Sano grinned from ear to ear. "Some people say that cigarettes mess up people's lungs. Or maybe you're just getting old and sickly?"
"It's certainly not my cigarettes." Saitoh glared in his direction before coughing again. To everyone's surprise, the powerful wolf of Mibu dropped to one knee as a coughing fit sapped his strength. Eyes watering, Saitoh stared back up at the rest of the warriors. "Can't you smell that?"
"Saitoh's right." Aoshi spoke up. "The air tastes funny"
Yutarou was suddenly wracked by his own coughs. "Ack is this some kind of poison? I'm starting to feel strangely"
"The damn bastards are going to poison us? What the hell!?" Chou roared angrily.
Enishi growled low in his throat, startling the warriors that were closest to him with his pitch and animal ferocity. "Damn it I didn't come here to die in this pit with you losers. We need to find a way out!" Covering his face with the back of his hand to block off the noxious fumes, Enishi marched toward the single hallway. "You, the big slow guy" Enishi roughly indicated Anji with his finger. "And you, bird-brain"
Sano clenched his fists angrily. "Who you calling a bird-brain?"
"Don't get yourself ruffled, Rooster-head Instead, use that crazy punching attack and make us an exit."
"Oh" Sano nodded and rushed off down the hallway with Anji close behind.
"Phew I thought we were goners" Yahiko collapsed onto his back and sucked in a deep breath of the fresh mountain air.
"Indeed that was close" Anji stood thoughtfully. "But it seems strange how could the incense have caused such an effect?"
"It wasn't the incense" Saitoh leaned heavily against a tree, digging through his pocket for his cigarettes. Once he had one in a shaky hand, he decided against it and tucked the slender roll back into his pack. "There was some sort of poison as well They started pumping it in a few minutes later than the incense. There was only a very subtle difference in the odor"
"Yeah" Yutarou agreed.
"Does anybody else feel really weird?" Sano leaned against a tree. General consensus said, "Yes, we all feel peculiar." The conversation didn't go much further than that before more important issues popped up.
"Well, now that we've escaped what do we do?" Katsu asked looking toward the former Shinsengumi tentatively.
"We head back to Kyoto, of course. We've got another hour of daylight." Saitoh pushed himself to his feet and started walking. Off in the distance a single wolf let out a long, trailing howl. Saitoh stopped dead in his tracks and turned his head, seemingly straining his ears to hear something. His actions were so sudden and peculiar, that the rest of the group stopped and stared at him.
"What is it, Saitoh?" Kenshin asked the question but everyone was thinking it.
The wolf of Mibu stood frozen in place until the real wolf had finished howling. A look of fear and confusion unlike any the Kenshin-gumi had ever seen was plastered to the intimidating man's face.
Sano took a single step backwards in shock. "What what the hell is it Saitoh?" The ex-gangster was terrified at the prospect of Saitoh being terrified.
Saitoh opened his mouth and then closed it before finally opening his mouth to speak. "Didn't you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
Shaking his head as if to clear it, Saitoh placed one hand to his forehead. "Nothing never mind I'm only hearing things must be an aftereffect of that damn poison" Without another word, Saitoh headed down the trail he'd selected to take them back to Kyoto.
Even in the evening, Kyoto was bustling with activity. Crowds of men and women made their way through the shopping district of downtown Kyoto. The twelve men drew curious glances from the commoners as they stalked through the streets.
Passing one shop, Kenshin noticed a few items that he knew Kaoru would particularly like to have. Pausing to inspect the outrageous prices, the former rurouni fell to the end of the group. Noticing that he was being left behind, Kenshin rushed after his companions.
When a group of female shoppers suddenly stepped out in front of him, Kenshin used his superior reflexes to dodge around them. Unfortunately, the women were not quite so secure on their feet. One young lady, surprised by the flash of magenta and red, tripped over the edges of her friend's kimono. Being a nice guy by habit, Kenshin turned back to catch the woman before she could collapse face first into the dirt.
The fact that Kenshin was lagging behind had indirectly caused Sanosuke to lag behind. Added incentive was, of course, to get as far away from Saitoh as possible. A bit of commotion and a strange 'poof' noise caused the ex-gangster to pause and glance behind. One young woman had tripped to the ground and her two friends helped her to her feet, laughing at her as they dusted her off. The woman seemed overly confused, but after a moment she smiled, laughed, and walked off with her friends.
Sano scratched his head and glanced around the street. Kenshin had disappeared.
"Oi Kenshin where'd you go?"
Trotting back the way they'd came, Sanosuke's eyes widened when he noticed a pile of very familiar looking clothing. Crouching low, the lanky street fighter reached out slowly and collected a handful of the magenta fabric in his calloused and bandaged hands. It was most certainly Kenshin's. No one else in Japan wore that particular shade of magenta.
"What... the hell??"
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Ok, now that part 2 is out of the way... I can get to my commentary! *grin* Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! Seriously, without you guys I would not be continuing this. I'm surprised how many of you have actually seen Fruits Basket. I was kind of thinking I'd have to explain everything. (for a brief explanation scroll down to the bottom, sort of a spoiler, but there's a fun game too!)
To JadeAnime, lunny, Kori Suketchi, Chibi Tenshi and anybody else who cares: It's pretty darn hilarious that my review section became a Fruits Basket discussion board. *grin* lunny's second review sums things up nicely. The twelve guys are going to become the twelve main animals... as for the cat... I'm thinking about working him in later. (but no promises) This isn't really a fic that will try and parallel the relationships created in Fruits Basket. Primarily, this is a Rurouni Kenshin story. It's simply a... "what if the guys of Rurouni Kenshin were cursed by the vengeful animal spirits of the Chinese Zodiac". I really didn't select animals based on the added animosity it could create between characters. I'm just using the good old fashioned animosity already provided by RK and I selected animals by what seemed most appropriate for the characters. The best animosity exists between the cat and everybody else anyway... and since the cat isn't one of the 12... *shrug* Well JadeAnime, I hope you enjoyed this. I posted, see?? Now you don't have to kidnap me or throw me in a dark room! (and you're right, this may end up being more than 4 chapters)
To M.Kasshoku, Karina Kineshi, Jason M. Lee, and Sher: Ah, you guys are the best. I can't believe you're reading this little crossover/filler arc fic. *laughs* Hope it's entertaining even if you have no clue what Fruits Basket is!
To Firuze Khanume, SharkAria, omochi, and carlyd: Glad you guys were awesome enough to review! You asked for it, you got it! Hope you enjoyed part 2!
To Boka-san: Ewww, how do you spell your name in roomanji? *giggle* Well, looks like I can't read the japanese text. zannen, ne? Anyway, have fun over haru yasumi! I'll just be sitting here doing my darn homework! *beats head against desk*
A Brief Explanation: for those who'd rather know what's going on. *Quasi-Spoiler*
In the Anime "Fruits Basket" the Souma family is cursed by vengeful animal spirits and when they are "huggled" by members of the opposite sex or become nervous, they transform into one of the animals from the Chinese Zodiac. In this fic, our twelve heroes have been given the curse.
Super Fun Game!
The twelve animals of the Chinese Zodiac are: the horse, rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, serpent, sheep, monkey, rooster, dog, and wild boar. There are some hints in my fic for what animal certain characters are going to become. (and then a few of them are dead give aways as well) Some of them aren't easy, and I can tell you right now... Hiko's actions do not really give away the animal I have selected for him. If you want to win an imaginary prize (and my absolute respect) go ahead and try and guess what animal I've selected for the twelve guys: Kenshin, Sano, Saitoh, Yahiko, Hiko, Soujirou, Yutarou, Chou, Anji, Aoshi, Enishi, and Katsu. There's a method to my madness in each of my selections so I'm not too concerned if you all totally disagree with my choices. I can justify it... *snicker* Good luck, everybody!
Upcoming Part 3: Details of the peculiar curse are discovered and the men decide one thing: It would be better if the women don't find out! Can they keep this curse a secret until they find a way to remove it? Assuming you guys are still interested... you'll find out Next Time!
