Chapter 4
A/N: Chris! This one's for you! Also, thanks to: Anne Rose, Buffynick, sookuke-adek, Doec, Verlita, FreakyChick, Bluehazegrl, B and the awesome girls from the Dutch KM-club!
Kathryn Janeway stared at the communications system and sighed. She had to accept it.
She was pregnant and the child was here to stay.
She shook her head.
After facing and beating countless of challenges here, in the Delta Quadrant, this seemed like the hardest one yet. And, even though Chakotay had offered her his support, she knew it was still something she had to go through alone. And Q wasn't exactly going to be kind of father she'd always imagined having by her side when this time would come.
She sighed and rubbed her temples.
The consequences would be…..enormous. Besides from feeling sick like this for a while, she'd eventually have to hand over command to Chakotay. Not that that was the worst thing but still, for the coming…4 or 5 months, she'd have to give up her role as Captain and instead be a …soon-to-be-mom.
Kathryn thought of Naomi Wildman, the first child to be raised on Voyager. She had turned out to be a lovely, smart young girl even though she didn't have a father. Being the child of a captain would be different of course, but still……raising a child on a Starship in the middle of nowhere had been done before.
She just hoped her little girl would get the chance to see earth. After one last sigh, she cleared her throat.
"Attention all senior officers. Report to my ready room, immediately." The familiar voice of Captain Janeway sounded throughout Voyager.
At the sound of her voice, Chakotay shook his head and blinked his eyes several times. He pushed himself of the couch where he'd been reading Padds for the last 3 hours. He could only guess what this meeting would be about.
After the news Kathryn had received about week ago and after the few unfortunate 'scenes', she'd completely withdrawn from him and the rest of the crew. The past week she'd been unusually quiet and passive on the bridge.
Not a single joke. Not even a tiny smile.
And all he could do was sit next to her and watch it all. She hadn't joined anyone on the holodeck and had reclined his many dinner invitations. Instead, she'd spent almost every single moment in her quarters, by herself.
Maybe tonight would be his chance to reach out to her again, he thought to himself.
With renewed hope, Chakotay glanced at his tired reflection in the mirror, took a deep breath and marched out of his quarters to his Captain's ready-room.
In engineering, Seven and B'elanna were doing some general maintenance work. When they heard their Captain's voice they got up and left their work for what it was.
Frankly, they were a little curious what was so important that it required an immediate gathering of all senior officers.
"Lieutenant, do you know what the Captain has to say?" Seven asked B'Elanna as they walked through one of the hallways.
The other woman shrugged. "I have no idea. But I guess it's important, she wouldn't ask us otherwise."
"That is true." Seven nodded then paused. "Maybe we'll finally get to know why she and the commander have been behaving so…strangely the past weeks."
Good point. They'd all noticed their command team's slightly strange and mysterious behaviour. Well, you could call it strange, but also distant. In fact, the whole crew seemed to have noticed that their captain had withdrawn from any social activity. Even more disturbing; it seemed she'd also shut out Chakotay, which was even more alarming.
Then, there were the emotional outbursts on the bridge, a few days before she became so isolated. Those scenes had become known on Voyager and B'Elanna couldn't help but be worried. She'd even paid the doctor a visit, but he'd been even less cooperative than usual. Which was saying a lot.
"Could be." The half-Klingon nodded as they entered the Captain's ready room where the others were already waiting.
"Good." Kathryn began when B'elanna and Seven had taken their seats and awaited the Captain's announcement. "I have something important to tell you all."
She paused. After a week of trying to find a way to 'reverse' it, she'd eventually come to accept her….situation. And she knew it wouldn't be fair to keep the crew in the dark, plus: they were going to find out anyway. If they hadn't already figured it out after the bridge-incident and her sudden leola-root cravings. But despite that, she also knew that they might not take this too well. It was after all, a strange situation, to say the least.
"I'm pregnant." She blurted out. An awkward silence followed and fourteen eyes stared at her in complete shock.
After a moment Neelix was the first to speak up. "Well, I believe congratulations are in order then." He smiled a little shyly as he extended a hand.
Relieved, she gladly took it, smiling nervously.
"Yes, congratulations Captain." Tom piped up, blue eyes sparkling.
"May I ask who the father is?" He asked a little more careful, only to be nudged in the ribs by B'Elanna.
"Tom!" she hissed.
"That's alright lieutenant. It's a…logical question." Kathryn had been afraid it would come to this. It was the main reason she'd been hesitating to tell everyone else about what happened. Somehow, she didn't feel like telling them the real story.
After inhaling deeply, she was about to gracefully talk herself out of that question when Chakotay beat her to it.
"The child…" He paused and his eyes met Kathryn's. "…is mine."
Kathryn stared at him in shock, her mouth wide open. Why the hell had he just said that ?
At the same time, she was moved by his gesture.
"Wow…." That was not the answer Tom had expected. Just like his fellow crew members he wasn't sure what to think after the news they'd just gotten. "Well, in that case, congratulations Commander."
"Thank you, Lieutenant." Chakotay smiled and nodded at the blond pilot.
B'Elanna, on the other hand, didn't offer her congratulations and just stared at the Captain and her first officer in disbelief.
"Right, that'll be all. Dismissed everyone." Kathryn spoke up before anyone got the chance to ask any other questions. "Except for you, Commander." She gave him a stern look.
It was certainly sweet of him but…what the hell was he thinking? This didn't solve any of her problems.
"Something wrong Kathryn?" Chakotay asked her when the room was finally empty.
She leaned against her desk and shook her head. "Chakotay….Why did you do that?"
He averted his eyes. "Well, you knew someone was going to ask that. So I decided to help you."
"Yes, but you lied to them. Deliberately." Her face began to show every sign of the famous death glare again.
He sighed and turned away from her. "What were you going to tell them then? That Q is the father?"
"Maybe." She said stubbornly.
Smiling, he approached her and put a hand on her arm. "You didn't want that either. I know you Kathryn."
Kathryn rolled her eyes. "Alright, I'll give you that one, but I sure as hell wasn't planning on dragging you into this. At least not this way. You could have talked to me about this first!" She turned away from him and stubbornly stared out the window.
"Talked to you? Spirits Kathryn, the past week, you've barely said…three words to me."
She winced and closed her eyes. He was right about that. "Yes, but still! You lied to them!"
"Kathryn, will you relax? Please? Stress isn't good for you." He asked softly.
"Don't try 'n change the subject."
He sighed and sat down on her couch. "Remember the time Seven needed a new cortical node?"
"Oh please, Chakotay…not another story." She rolled her eyes. "I know what you're going to sa-"
"Just hear me out, okay?" Chakotay tried to be patient and patted the couch. "Come on. Humor me."
"But.."
"You owe me this much after avoiding me for a week, don't you think?" His eyes were sparkling and his dimples were showing as he tried not to smile at her typical stubbornness.
"Guilt trip, huh? Fine. Fine." She huffed and joined him on the couch. "Go on?"
"You and Icheb explained to her that this crew would do practically anything to help another. Even strangers." He tried to meet her eyes.
Kathryn finally gave in. "Yes, but it's just that…" she sighed and added softly, "I was prepared for this and…..you didn't have to do this."
"I wanted to." He smiled at her warmly.
"Yes but why? You still haven't told me that. Yes, I've been…avoiding you this past week. You have every right to be mad at me for telling you something like and then leaving you in the dark completely. For…ignoring you! Every right. So, why?"
"Because I hate having to stand here on the side and not being able to help you." He seemed a little hurt that she didn't understand his motives. "And I saw a chance to help you just now."
"I….. You're the best help I could possibly imagine." She had been avoiding his gaze but now she looked him straight in the eyes." I mean that."
He smiled at her. "I know. And, thank you. I just wish you'd rely on me more. You don't have to do this all by yourself. "
Tears welled up in her eyes and she quickly wiped them off her face. " I'm sorry for my behaviour these past weeks…so irrational…..I decided to spend this week trying to…come to terms with everything….this situation." Letting out a heavy sigh, she let her head fall back for a moment, then looked up again. "God, I already hate being pregnant. Stupid mood…changes."
Chakotay leaned in and wiped another tear from her cheek. "I can imagine."
"No you can't." She laughed darkly, through the tears. "Trust me, you have no idea."
He smiled. "You're absolutely right, I can't. But you also heard the doctor; it's not going to last nine months."
"I guess not, but these will probably the worst 3, 4, maybe even five months of my life." She sighed sadly.
"Most likely yes." Chakotay nodded. "But I refuse to be a mere spectator."
She smiled a little. "Too late to be one, Commander. You're already involved."
"Glad to be." He took her hand and softly squeezed it.
They sat together a few moments in comfortable silence, her hand still in his. Neither of them wanted to break the contact. Still holding hands, his other hand slowly moved up to her face and wiped a few stray hairs away.
She closed her eyes, and leaned in to his touch, enjoying it.
"Awwwww isn't that sweet." An all too familiar voice interrupted their precious moment of peace.
"What do you need, Q?" Kathryn demanded, without looking up, her eyes still closed.
"Apologise." Was the simple answer as Q walked around the ready-room.
Her head snapped up and she pushed herself of the couch, annoyed. "Again? Why? what for?"
He frowned. Apparently, he hadn't thought of that. "Whatever I did ...well...I'm sorry. Anyway, did you inform everyone about our precious little miracle?"
Chakotay and Kathryn exchanged a brief glance. "We did." She quickly said.
Q raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean we did?"
"I told the crew that the baby was mine." Chakotay said with a faint smile, as he too got up from the couch.
"Yours! "Q looked at them in shock. "But why?" He directed his attention to Kathryn. "Kathy, you have to do something about this. This big oaf is denying me fatherhood!" he pouted and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
She sighed. "Q listen, this was not my idea. But on the other hand, they took it quite well and even though it's not true I think it's better this way."
"But it's a lie! I didn't know Starfleet approved of lying for one's own sake!" he said dramatically.
"Q…I know that, but we can't turn back now and the real story is so unbelievable that…well…. no one will buy it anyway. And leave Starfleet out of this!"
The last thing Kathryn wanted to worry about right now was Starfleet and their protocols.
"They'll believe it! After all, everyone on this ship knows me and Junior! They know that I'm….all man and…well, my Q-ness is irresistible. "
Kathryn sighed. "Q…that's the kind of thing I'd like to avoid. This was an accident and you know it. I'm sure no one will doubt your….." she frowned. "capacity to…..conceive, but I think this," she glanced at Chakotay, "is better for me right now. "
"Really?' Q frowned.
"Yes, really, Q."
Q shook his head. "Well….I wouldn't want you to be miserable Kathy." He then looked at Chakotay, still frowning. "Fair enough, I'm willing to play along with this and let you play daddy for a while, Chuckles…..on one condition."
Kathryn took a deep breath, afraid of what was about to come. "Which is?"
"I want to design her room."
"Her room? Her? How do you know it's a girl? Have you been talking to the Doctor?" Kathryn asked a little suspicious.
"I'm Q, remember?"
How could I forget? Chakotay thought to himself. But secretly he was happy Q was taking this the way he did and made a promise to himself that he would not let Kathryn down.
"That's really all I'm asking for." Q made a faint waving gesture.
Kathryn nodded, pacing around the room. "Ok, but we want to approve the design."
Q arched an eyebrow. "Agreed, but then I want to pick her name!"
She stopped her pacing and spun around. "What happened to just the one condition? The name? And then what?" Kathryn raised her voice. Then it dawned on her. "Oh no! NO! You're not going to name her Q! Let's not forget that this is just as much my child as it is yours!"
Q pouted again. "What's wrong with Q?"
Kathryn glared at him. "It's not happening. But I will let you know what kind of name I'll give her. And I do want your approval."
"Alright, alright." Q gave up. "But then you have to promise me one other thing."
"I'm listening." Kathryn glanced at Chakotay on her right and wondered what kind of term Q had in mind this time.
"I want you to tell her and the rest of the crew the truth when she's old enough."
"I was planning on that anyway." She looked up at him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Of course I will, Q."
"Ok, then we'll leave it at this. I make the design for the room, you get to approve it. And you'll run her name by me? Or maybe we could think of one together. And you promise me that you will tell the truth to everyone…eventually."
Kathryn nodded. "Agreed."
Q was looking very pleased with the outcome of their 'negotiation'. He took Kathryn's hand and placed a soft kiss on top of it. "Very well, then if you'll excuse me, my lovely Kathy, I have a nursery to create." He snapped his fingers and disappeared into thin air.
"You seemed pretty determined to pick the name yourself." Chakotay said after Q had vanished. They both walked back to the couch and sat down again.
"I must admit….I've been giving that some thought lately." She admitted, with a faint smile.
"Care to let me in on that secret?" He gently stroked the back of her hand.
"Well…." Kathryn smiled shyly. "What do you think of Amelia?"
He nodded and returned her smile. "I think it's a great name for her. Perfect even."
With the peace returned, they both sat back on the couch and pondered the silence for a moment. Yawning, Kathryn closed her eyes, her head resting on his shoulder.
"Amelia Kes." Chakotay suddenly said.
"Hm?" she slowly opened one eye, then the other.
"Kes. As a middle name for your…daughter."
"My daughter." It still sounded a little strange to both of them to refer to this child as Captain Janeway's daughter. "I do like the sound of that. Amelia Kes Janeway."
"Me too." They smiled at each other awkwardly.
Suddenly something came to Kathryn's mind. "Chakotay…..There's one minor detail you didn't think of when you claimed this child to be yours."
Chakotay knew what she meant right away. "The Doctor."
She nodded and stifled another yawn. "Hm-hm. Knowing him, I don't think he's going to keep this to himself."
Chakotay shook his head. "No, most likely not. But…why don't you let me take care of that? You look a little tired, go get some rest."
"Alright, for once I think I might listen to you." She said as her first officer and best friend got up.
He was already walking towards the door when he suddenly spun around with a mischievous smile on his face. "We could always reprogram him, you know."
"Oh no, that's not happening." Kathryn said as she started towards her bedroom. "I was forced to do that once already and I'm not going to do that again." From her bedroom she called, "That's an order, Commander."
That last comment made him chuckle. Even now she was still the Captain and very much in control of the ship. "Aye Captain."
"Computer, activate E…" Chakotay said as he entered sickbay.
"No need to waste your breath, Commander, I'm right here." The Doctor appeared around the corner. "How can I be of assistance? I presume you've heard the news about the Captain? How's Q taking it?"
"Yes. Yes I have, which is exactly the reason why I'm here." He quickly answered, hoping that it would stop the waterfall of questions. "And Q is …fine."
"Well…good, I suppose." The EMH answered.
Chakotay leaned in and lowered his voice. "But I need you to play along with something."
The hologram cocked an eyebrow. "Play? With what?"
"During the meeting of the senior officers earlier today I told them that the child was mine."
"What? You said what! But that's a an outright…a blatant lie, Commander."
Chakotay sighed and shook his head. "I know, and it may not be the smartest thing I've ever said but there's no turning back now."
"This is the second time I catch someone here conspiring against other people on this ship. Oh, here's an idea…why don't you just reprogram me?" He muttered sarcastically.
The First officer tried his best not to smile. "I received specific orders not to."
The EMH's eyes widened. "Ah! But you wanted to."
"I never said that."
The Doctor threw his hands up in the air. "Then what do you want, Commander?"
Chakotay sighed. He knew Doc was right, because no matter how you looked at it, it remained a lie. "Just play along, and tell no one about Q's part in this."
Again, the doctor cocked an eyebrow, but then finally sighed in defeat. "Very well….I'll play along with this little…scheme of yours."
TBC? You tell us ;)
