Author: Arashi (marenski@hotmail.com)

Website: www.kenkaya.com

Author's Notes: Hmmm... Next chapter will get into the so-called 'funny stuff' I've been laughing about. Couldn't fit it in this time cause I just had to torment my favorite rooster first. Answers to a couple questions/comments. Karina: Nopers, Sano would not have turned back into a human when Megumi grabbed him. In fact, he'll remain in animal form as long as she's got a hold of him. (I think... ehehe) Anyone care to argue the point? *grin* dementedchris: Yup, I know that they transform when they're sick and weak. Here's a question though, what about when they're injured? Does that sort of work out like weakness and sickness combined? *ponder* Anyone's free to comment on the matter. EVERYONE: Thanks for your continued interest in this crazy fic! I can't believe it hit 100 reviews! (that's my FIRST and I was pretty excited!) Please keep 'em coming and I'll keep the chapters flowin'! There's plenty more humor, some interesting romance elements, and some adventure coming up!

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or Fruits Basket. I might be the first person to think of putting them together though... *shrug* Also, please excuse the characters from their stupidity and any and all OOCness. It's not their fault, it's mine... And I like it. *grin*

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Juunishi Part 6

If not for Saitoh Hajime's intervention, Himura Kenshin would have only stared in shock and utter incomprehension as his best friend, turned rooster, was hauled away towards the kitchen.

"You know what foxes do to chickens right?" Saitoh stood only a foot away from the former Hitokiri and delivered his whispered line with a grin as they watched Megumi's retreating back. There was something else flashing in his eyes besides amusement, but by the time Kenshin realized what it was, it had entirely disappeared. Saitoh would never openly admit it, but he was worried about the ex-gangster.

"They eat them" Kenshin allowed reality to sink in. "Megumi-dono, wait!"

All eyes were suddenly riveted to the red-haired swordsman. What could the man possibly say to save their companion?

"What is it, Ken-san?" Megumi's irritation was evident.

"That rooster! It's!" Kenshin hazarded a glance at his fellow cursed warriors. He was about to give away their secret but not one of them seemed to be objecting. They may have been indifferent to Sanosuke's plight, but they certainly weren't going to try and stop the Hitokiri Battousai from speaking. "That rooster is Sanosuke!" Their cover was blown, but it was probably all for the better.

Kaoru, Tokio, and Megumi silently eyed Kenshin and the others as though they expected any one of them to start laughing at any moment.

Megumi was the one to shatter the silence. "Very funny Ken-san" Only one woman could contain such an ocean of sarcasm in such a short statement. "One minute you tell me he's out getting sake and the next you tell me he's turned into a chicken? Riiiiight..." Turning on her heels, the lady doctor resumed her journey to the kitchen.

Things weren't going as he'd expected. They'd all decided not to reveal information about their curse because they weren't sure how the woman would handle it. Kenshin quickly realized that it wasn't something they could explain lightly. "I'm serious Megumi-dono!" He summoned all the gravity that he could to his words and pointed to the chicken. "We weren't going to tell you, but Sanosuke's turned into that rooster! Go ahead Sano, say something. There is no sense getting killed over this, that there is not!"

Megumi humored her red-haired friend by lifting the upside down rooster to eye level. "You got something to say little guy?" It was difficult to talk to the creature with a straight face, but the fox felt like playing. Unfortunately, whatever the bird might have added in its defense was forever left unsaid. The rooster had lost consciousness.

"He's passed out" Katsu made the brilliant observation. "The terror of the situation must have overloaded his brain."

"Well that's not hard to do." Yahiko manged a grin. "We are talking about Sano here."

"So you're all in on this little joke, are you?" Megumi glared from Yahiko to Katsu and then back to Kenshin. "This has to be Sano's idea. He must have finally gotten tired of me calling him rooster-head all the time and thought up this little plot." Megumi lowered her voice and did a terrifyingly realistic impression of the freeloading street fighter's masculine slang. "Hey guys, let's tell Megumi and the others that I've been cursed to turn into a chicken. Then she'll be sorry for insultin' me all the time. He he he" The lady doctor quit her frightening impression and shook her fist angrily in the cursed warriors' direction. "What kind of an idiot does he take me for, huh?" In her grasp, the rooster flopped around lifelessly. "This has to be one of the stupidest things you've ever thought up, SAGARA SANOSUKE!!" Megumi's impressive crescendo indicated to everyone that she figured Sano was somewhere close by listening in on the whole conversation.

"Megumi dono" Kenshin held out one hand weakly, silently entreating the lady doctor to believe his earlier confession.

"That's enough Ken-san." Megumi was exasperated and she didn't bother hiding the fact. "I'm disappointed that you'd go along with something this ridiculous. You can just go and tell Sanosuke that his little joke was a failure. I don't want to see either of you the rest of the night. You got that? You can drink yourselves into oblivion for all I care!" The long, silky mass of the lady doctor's hair whipped and bounced around her shoulders as Megumi turned and marched toward the kitchen with finality.

With a glance toward Tokio, Saitoh slammed his hand down on Kenshin's shoulder in an extremely rare show of familiarity. "Well then, shall we go tell the idiot his little joke's over?" Without waiting for a response, Saitoh half dragged the crestfallen swordsman around the side of the Aoiya, leaving the rest of the cursed warriors to their own devices.

~//~

"That was a close one" Saitoh sighed and leaned against the building as he reached inside his shirt pocket for his nicotine fix.

"Close one?" Kenshin stared incredulously at the ex-Shinsengumi. "It's more than a 'close one'. If you didn't notice, Sano's been captured and is about to be killed and eaten!"

"Relax. We've escaped from our women so now it will be a simple matter to retrieve the idiot before the fox lops his fool head off." The old confident Saitoh was back. "We should be thankful to him for providing us a distraction. As long as I was in Tokio's presence, I was powerless to do anything against her will"

"So I've noticed." Kenshin rolled his eyes. "I never would have thought that the mighty Saitoh Hajime would be brought low by a woman."

"Don't mock me, Battousai." Saitoh growled. "This is no laughing matter. I'd have separated the rooster from his head if she'd asked me to! I'm not usually this susceptible to her desires and commands. I think it has something to do with our curse."

Kenshin blinked once. "Oro?"

"Dogs are sometimes very loyal creatures, are they not? Since procuring our curse my propensity to obey my wife has been increased one-hundred fold, at the very least."

It seemed plausible, so Kenshin nodded thoughtfully. But somewhere in the back of his mind, Kenshin had a suspicion that the 'mighty Saitoh Hajime' was just trying to save face in light of his embarrassing display.

After a moment, Saitoh nervously cleared his throat. "So anyway. Let's go see about rescuing your pathetic friend."

~//~

"Everyone's acting strangely" Kaoru stepped inside the kitchen and came to her friend's side. The lady doctor did not acknowledge her presence as she angrily slammed a knife against the cutting board, slicing vegetables. The unconscious rooster was locked securely in a wooden crate on one of the counters.

Even though she had a feeling she was being ignored, Kaoru continued in the hope that Megumi would open up to her. "Yahiko wouldn't even make eye contact with me and Misao barely replied when I asked her where she'd found the guys. She grabbed Aoshi and practically ran away when I tried to ask her another question I think there's something suspicious going on."

Megumi's only reply was the continued crack of steel against wood as she chopped away. She was glaring angrily enough at the vegetables that she probably could have sliced them with her eyes alone.

"Megumi? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong??" Megumi furiously stabbed the knife into the cutting board, leaving it reverberating in the wood as she turned to face Kaoru. "I'm a complete idiot! That's what's wrong! I've been wasting my time and my emotions worrying and caring about that idiot and then he goes and pulls this crap!" Megumi's shoulders slumped and her anger slowly seeped from her body. "I'm tired of it Kaoru I just want the man to grow up. If he doesn't soon I'm giving up on him"

A slow smile of disbelief spread across Kaoru's features. "Suuuure you are Megumi"

"I mean it!" Megumi ripped the knife free from its new holder and waved it threateningly at nothing in particular. "I'm completely serious this time!"

"That's what you always say." Kaoru laughed easily.

"Stop laughing!" Megumi ordered and then spun around to face the wooden crate. "And you! What do you think you're staring at!?"

Kaoru turned to see that the rooster was conscious and on its feet, staring blankly at the two of them. "Megumi You're talking to a chicken" Megumi gritted her teeth in frustration and turned around for round two with the vegetables. Meanwhile, Kaoru ambled over to the crate and bent over so she could look at the poor little caged animal that was about to become their dinner. It looked so pathetic and afraid that Kaoru couldn't help herself from chatting with the thing. "You sure are an unlucky one I have a feeling that Megumi's going to take out all of her frustrations on you."

The rooster slunk back in what could only have been a sign of absolute fear.

Kaoru grinned and straightened up as a thought popped into her head. "Do you think animals can understand people?" If anyone had an answer for the silly question, it would be the knowledgeable lady doctor.

"No."

"Hey guys!" Misao bounded inside the kitchen, startling Kaoru in the process. "I've got a question for you. Are you two more afraid of snakes or rats?"

Seta Soujirou's cheerful voice called out from the hallway. "Or what about bunnies?"

Kaoru slowly turned and found the lady doctor looking just as confused as she felt.

"Huh?" Was all Megumi could manage in way of a reply.

"No Misao" Shinomori Aoshi's sudden appearance couldn't even startle the two dumbfounded women. "You're doing this all wrong." The ninja hauled his okashira out of the kitchen, leaving two very perplexed women behind.

"What was that all about?" The lady doctor inquired of her friend.

"I have no clue"

~//~

"Have you learned nothing about information gathering during your time as an Oniwabanshu?" Aoshi didn't want to chastise the young ninja woman, but he couldn't help it. She'd almost ruined the mission with her incompetence. "You were supposed to discern the information more discreetly."

In the hallway beside him, Soujirou, Yahiko, and Yutarou all nodded along with Aoshi's statement. Misao seemed to wither under the combined assault.

"Yeah weasel girl, you screwed up." Yahiko added. "Even Yutarou would have handled it better."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yutarou and Misao hurled the question at the young swordsman.

"Listen all of you." Aoshi took control of the situation before it could deteriorate further. "Himura and Saitoh have disappeared, so it's up to us to rescue the ex-gangster. We have an easy diversion at our fingertips if only we can discover where their fears lie. Misao, watch and learn as I handle this situation."

Aoshi swished past his companions and down the hallway to the kitchen. The others followed discreetly, waiting outside while the ninja 'worked his magic'.

"Ladies" The Oniwabanshu was obviously addressing Kaoru and Megumi. "Forgive Misao for her outburst. It is only that she wanted to warn you about our pest problem here at the Aoiya."

"Pest problem?" Kaoru and Megumi chimed in together.

"Yes. We've had massive numbers of nasty crawly creatures like snakes and rats infesting the kitchen area lately. They are quite disgusting and as women I understand that you have an inclination to have a natural fear of such things. Do not hesitate to scream and yell for assistance if you are plagued by any of these little beasts. I will be quick to offer you my assistance in dispatching them, and all you'll have to do is come find me if I do not rush to your assistance right away."

"Um thanks Aoshi-san I think." Kaoru was obviously bewildered by the professional ninja's words.

"I don't think we'll be needing your assistance though, Shinomori-san." Megumi's resolute voice floated out to the hallway. "If something comes slithering in here, it's as good as dead."

Her last word was punctuated by an exceptionally loud clatter of steel on wood, causing Yahiko, Yutarou, Soujirou, and Misao to flinch.

"Right then well Have a nice day." With a slight quaver to his voice, Shinomori Aoshi made a beeline straight for the kitchen exit. What he didn't realize was that Misao was standing right by the doorway, waiting for him as he barreled around the corner.

Intimidation and animalistic terror clouded his thoughts and decreased his reflexive skills. Vengeful animal spirits and Misao did the rest.

It was certainly bad enough having Aoshi instantly transformed into a snake as he slammed into Misao, but the problem was compounded when the young ninja woman lost her balance and teetered backwards into her other companions.

~//~

A clatter of bodies and mysterious 'poof' noises initially alerted Kaoru and Megumi to the strangeness happening in the hallway. They would have ignored it and continued with dinner preparations if Misao's shrill scream hadn't pierced their eardrums.

"Misao-chan! What's wrong?" Kaoru was out of the kitchen in a flash with a broom in her hand serving as a makeshift weapon. Megumi was close behind with her trusty knife.

Sitting on her butt in a pile of familiar clothing, Misao was staring down in shock at a decent sized serpent that seemed to be staring right back at her. Its head rose off the ground and its tongue flicked out once, tasting the air.

"KYAAA!! I HATE snakes!!" Misao wailed as she propelled herself backwards with her feet and hands. A rat and a rabbit poked their heads up from the collection of clothing as the ninja girl scooted by.

"Aoshi's right, they've got an infestation of critters" Kaoru watched Misao retreat away from the animals. If she'd had a little more time to think, she might have stopped to question why Aoshi, Yahiko, Soujirou, and Yutarou's clothes were piled up in the hallway, but questions like that could wait for later. "Let's take care of this Megumi!"

Kaoru and Megumi stalked toward the three animals that remained motionless for a moment, looking up at them with large fearful eyes. As one, the rat, the rabbit, and the snake started off in Misao's direction, eliciting a terrified squeal from the ninja girl as they hopped, crawled, and slithered over her. Megumi and Kaoru hurried after them, weapons poised and ready to strike.

They had barely disappeared around a corner when an adorable little monkey threw off the clothing that was concealing it and jumped over to Misao.

"Go save the others Misao! I'll get Sano!" Without waiting for confirmation, Yahiko scuttled off into the kitchen.

"Ahalright." Misao collected her emotions and got to her feet. If she didn't have personal relationships with the animals in question, she never would have willingly rushed off after such disgusting little beasties. "At least Soujirou isn't nasty and crawly" She muttered under her breath as she chased off after her friends.

~//~

"I'm finally alone! This is my chance!" Sagara Sanosuke pulled back one white-feathered wing and let it fly toward the side of the crate. "FUTAE NO KIWAMI!"

Nothing happened. It was a valiant effort but one that was destined to fail. His wings were not constructed anywhere near as conveniently as his hands when it came to things like punching.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!"

Ramming against the side of the cage with his body proved to be a little more effective. He could feel the entire thing moving and sliding closer to the edge of the counter. Once it had gone far enough it started teetering and he was allowed a brief introspective moment to consider whether his idea was such a clever one or not. The wooden crate crashed to the floor, jostling him around roughly inside. Unfortunately, the construction was solid enough to withstand what little damage he was able to inflict upon it in his cumbersome body.

"Sanosuke!?" Yahiko's voice was the most welcomed sound that Sanosuke could remember hearing in a long time.

"Yahiko!! Hurry and get me out of here!" Sanosuke expected the dark, spiky haired boy to lift the cage from the floor and unfasten the door. Instead, he was startled by the appearance of a small monkey. "Oh HELL!"

"Relax Sano, I'll find a way to get you out of here." The monkey jumped against the crate, wrapping its little fingers around the wooden bars and pulling back with all the might in its small body.

"You'll never open it like that Yahiko ya gotta find the door and open it for me. You should be able to do that, cause at least you've got thumbs!"

"Yeah, but Sano You're standing on the door" Yahiko's mournful face pressed up against the bars as he pointed to the floor.

The little monkey was right. In the process of knocking over the crate, he'd inadvertently toppled it on its side. They'd either have to flip it back or break a new door.

"I'm doomed" Sano slumped to the ground. "Megumi's gonna kill me and eat me"

"Hold on Sanosuke! Don't give up yet!"

"Yahiko's right, Sano!" A new voice filled the monkey and rooster with hope. "Saitoh and I will get you out of there."

"KENSHIN!" Sanosuke stuck his long rooster neck out of the cage and stared back up in the direction of the voice. Yahiko jumped on top of the crate and then leapt up onto the counter.

"What are you two doing outside?" Yahiko inquired.

"We were going to sneak in while Megumi wasn't looking." Kenshin replied helpfully. "Saitoh, lift me up a little higher."

A grumbled compliant was followed by a hasty expletive from the Wolf of Mibu. "Oh shit! Tokio's coming!"

The distant sound of a woman's voice heralded more cursing and an 'oro' or two from the men outside the kitchen window.

"I'm outta here!" Saitoh yelped.

"Wait, Saitoh! You can't go yet! You have to help me inside first!" Kenshin cried out in surprise and Yahiko watched his face disappear from the window.

"Kenshin?? KENSHIN???" There was no reply to Yahiko's frantic entreaties.

"Oh NO! What the hell am I supposed to do NOW!?" Sano's meager hopes for freedom were dashed.

"Uhhh" Yahiko jumped back to the side of the counter. "I'll think of something Sano! Just give me a minute." The monkey furiously scratched the back of its head trying to promote the appearance of useful ideas. "I know!" It was as though a light bulb had gone off in the young swordsman's mind. "You'll just have to wait for me to transform back into a human!"

"Back into a human??" The suggestion was more of a reminder to Sanosuke than it was a possible escape plan. As if the realization triggered the reaction, a cloud of colored smoke suddenly surrounded the rooster. The cage was ill suited to containing a human body and the wood cracked and splintered. "Ow ow ow ow" Sanosuke hissed as he rubbed the back of his head. Feeling the familiar strands of wayward hair, the ex-gangster jumped to his feet with a cry of jubilation.

"Not to rain on your parade or anything Sano But I think I hear Kaoru and Megumi coming this way And you're not exactly wearing any clothes"

~//~

"Well, we definitely scared them off" Kaoru said triumphantly.

"Hmmm It would have been better if we'd killed them so they don't keep coming back." Megumi sighed.

Misao hurried around the two women. "Well, uh Thanks for your help guys. I'll just grab the batch of laundry and be on my way." The okashira stooped to collect the large pile of clothing as Megumi and Kaoru walked on into the kitchen.

The sight that confronted them was one they would not have predicted in a hundred years. A completely naked Sagara Sanosuke was kneeling on the counter with his back toward them. His hands were outstretched as he lifted something out the high kitchen window.

"Run little guy! Save yourself!" Sano called out to the animal that he'd freed from the confines of the kitchen. There was only one likely candidate that Megumi could come up with as she noticed the empty and shattered crate on the floor.

"WHAT in the world?" Megumi's icy voice caused the ex-gangster to freeze. The well-defined muscles on his back and thighs rippled as he tensed. Kaoru could only stand there and stare as Megumi continued. "Don't tell me that you snuck into the kitchen naked to save that stupid rooster"

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My apologies to anyone who's found themselves laughing loud enough to get in trouble with their neighbors while reading any part of this fic. And a special apology to Karina Kineshi for making her think about chicken when she was abstaining from food for 48 hours.

Upcoming Part 7: It's out of the frying pan and into the fire. When it becomes obvious that survival in the house calls for extreme measures, Sanosuke's the man with the plan. His suggestion opens the door to a whole new world of misadventures for the men of the Kenshin-gumi... You definately don't wanna miss it.